by Stacey Ritz
Rainie watched as Ronnie smiled at their dad. Sarah-Jayne nodded, although her eyes looked tired. The whites of her eyes were red. Beneath her eyes rested dark, swollen circles. Her head was lowered and her hands were clasped in front of her, resting on the table. She wanted to ask, trust you? How can we trust you? What have you ever done to show us we can trust our dad? But instead, when she went to speak, all that emerged in a faint voice was, “Do you promise this time?”
Dan nodded eagerly. “Of course, Rainie. I promise. You have my word. All of you…you have my word.” He smiled, trying to convince his family he was a good and decent man; that alcohol would never come before them again. They all wanted desperately to believe his words, including Dan himself. And that’s what they did; they went on pretending.
〜
“A photographer and an entrepreneur.” Sarah-Jayne smiled at her daughters as the three women finished their breakfast of buttermilk pancakes and maple syrup. “I’m proud of you both.” She carried on. “I always thought one day I’d be…something.”
Veronica placed her fork on her plate and studied her mom’s face, offering an inquisitive look. Rainie kept her eyes focused on her plate.
“Well, I mean…I always thought I’d do something other than take care of your dad.”
“What did you wish you could do?” Rainie chimed, not looking her mother in the face.
“I was always creative. You know, before I met your father, I spent a lot of time with my camera and painting.” She shook her head. “That was long before cameras were connected to computers and the Internet.” She forced a smile. “When your dad and I met, I was eager to settle down and have a family…I wasn’t thinking about a career then. But once you were both in school, I started daydreaming about having my own career. But I couldn’t find a way with your dad…”
“I can show you how to use my camera.” Veronica offered.
“I wouldn’t have the slightest clue how to use one now…it’s digital, right?”
Veronica shook her head and smiled.
“Of course, the whole world’s digital now, right?”
“It is, pretty much.” Veronica added.
“One day, maybe I’ll learn the new cameras.” Sarah-Jayne shrugged.
“Mama…stop saying one day. Let me show you today. What are you waiting for? Nothing. No one is holding you back except yourself.” She smiled warmly.
“You’d show me how to use it?”
“Sure.” Veronica stood to rinse her empty plate in the sink and then carefully placed it in the dishwasher. “We can go to the beach at sunset and play.”
Sarah-Jayne smiled. “Thank you, Veronica. I’m looking forward to that.” She straightened her back, sitting taller before turning her attention to Rainie. “Maybe one day I can come and see your sanctuary?”
“Mama…what did I tell you about one day?” Veronica teased from the kitchen.
Sarah-Jayne waved her away. “I’m a work in progress…”
“Aren’t we all?” Veronica mumbled back.
“Maybe.” Rainie offered.
“I know we haven’t spent time together in years, but a mother always knows when her child needs her. What’s going on with you this morning? Where is your head? Are you worried about the farm again?” Sarah-Jayne extended her arms across the table toward Rainie. “I know you probably view me as a weak woman for staying with your daddy all of those years. You must think I’m clueless when it comes to life. And you’re free to think what you want, Rainie.” Smiling, she added, “But I’m here to tell you that I love you. I care about you. Both of you, Ronnie, I’m talking to you too.”
Ronnie. Sarah-Jayne hadn’t called her that since she’d left home all those years ago.
“I’m so sorry for…well, everything. I should have left your dad a long time ago when you two were kids. I know it now.” Shaking her head, she added, “Hindsight is always twenty-twenty. But I’m telling you, he was good, very good, at convincing me that he had changed. And I was good at convincing myself that I could help him. You know, his father had the same issue with alcohol and so did his grandfather and his great-grandfather. But I know, it’s no excuse for the way he was. I…I wanted so badly to be able to help him. You don’t have to understand or agree on any of this. I wanted to share this with you. I’ve always wanted you to know the reason behind my actions, or rather, my choices. I love you girls. I love you so much. And as much as it hurt me when you both broke away, I was happy for you. I hoped you’d find love and peace, something I’d given up on for myself by that point. I wanted better for you and I knew, I fully understood, that you had to leave, go your own way, and never look back.” Sarah-Jayne’s eyes filled with tears.
Ronnie took a seat at the table and the three women sat silently together, staring out the oversized windows that supplied a gorgeous ocean view. A few minutes passed before anyone spoke again.
“He ruined everything.” Rainie nearly whispered the words as her eyes darted to the urn that rested easily on the window sill.
Nodding, Sarah-Jayne drew in a long breath before speaking. Her voice was calm and soothing. Her eyes were endless pools of regret. “You’re right. He did.” She gulped. “But don’t let him ruin what we have a chance at building now. Even if we never speak again after this…don’t let him take this time away from us. Corolla is a happy place, remember?”
Sarah-Jayne turned to look at her daughters, both of whom sat staring, mesmerized by the endless waves outside the window.
“Look, I can’t make up for lost time. But we’ve been given a chance to start over. It’s a choice for each of us, every day. We can choose to remain stuck in the past, or we can choose to enjoy what’s right in front of us.” Standing to take Rainie’s empty plate and her own to the sink, she said, “We have good memories too, you know.”
“Do you remember the time Rainie had chocolate milk come out her nose because I made her laugh so hard?” Ronnie pointed at her big sister.
Rainie made a face and rolled her eyes. “Very funny, Ronnie!” She twisted her mouth to the side. “You burst into the kitchen as I was finishing my glass of milk and you had that weird chicken mask on your face and you were doing a dance you invented, you called it the funky chicken.”
Ronnie stood up from the table, demonstrating the dance and Rainie couldn’t help but burst into laughter. Sarah-Jayne joined them, adding “I remember that mask. I think you wore it for Halloween one year?”
Ronnie nodded. “I did.”
“Rainie, do you remember the time when you rescued the dog…it was a little Beagle? He’d been hit by a car and his leg was broken. You carried him to the house and we took him to the veterinarian and met his guardians there.”
“We found their phone number on his tag…I remember. His name was Teddy James. Not Teddy…but Teddy James.” Rainie shared.
“You’ve always taken care of everyone, Rainie. Even when I didn’t do a very good job of taking care of you and Ronnie. You made sure Ronnie was okay.” Sarah-Jayne’s chest rose slowly before she let out a long breath. “Ronnie, do you remember when we went to get your first camera? You were over the moon with excitement.”
Ronnie beamed.
“I remember when Dad got me the ant farm for Christmas. I couldn’t wait to study them and care for them…” Rainie closed her lips, suddenly worried she’d shared too much. Rainie feared that recalling the good memories might make her forget the bad ones. She looked at the urn once again as the three women’s laughter tapered off and the house grew quiet. She didn’t want to miss her dad. She didn’t want to feel guilty at not being the one to help him leave the bottle behind. She didn’t want to feel anything but angry with him for how he’d treated all three of them over the years.
“Will you both spend the day at the beach with me today?” Sarah-Jayne’s soft voice emerged several minutes later.
“I’m up for staying. I can always head back home tomorrow.” Ronnie shrugged and then looked at Rainie for an answ
er.
Rainie pressed her lips together. “I’ll stay.” She smiled.
“Oh good! Oh…I’m so pleased. Thank you, girls. You don’t know how much this means to me…” Sarah-Jayne stood to get ready for the beach. “Rainie…you never answered. Where has your mind been this morning? You’ve been lost in another world.”
“Is it the farm?” Ronnie asked inquisitively.
Shaking her head, Rainie assured them that Rebecca, the manager of her farm, had been checking in with her several times a day and everything was going smoothly back home.
“What is it then, Rainie?”
Ronnie stood to head toward her room. Rainie was still seated at the table staring out at the waves. “Milo Rivers is here, in Corolla.”
Although they’d been estranged for years, Rainie knew that Ronnie and Sarah-Jayne were the only two people in the world who knew the significance of the name Milo Rivers.
“I ran into him this morning on my walk.” Rainie smiled, feeling her face grow warm.
Ronnie smiled, unsuccessfully attempting to bite her tongue. “Milo Rivers, huh?”
“Shut-up.” Rainie blushed.
“What’s he doing in Corolla?” Sarah-Jayne asked with a smile slowly spreading across her lips.
“He’s here with his brothers. They go on an annual vacation together.”
Sarah-Jayne and Ronnie stood, both staring at Rainie.
“I always thought you two would get married.” Sarah-Jayne tilted her head slightly to the side, trying to read Rainie’s reaction.
“You and the rest of the town.” Ronnie added.
Rainie stood from the table, “Let’s go to the beach.”
“I have beach towels for everyone…I have sunscreen, too. We can stop by the bookstore in town if you want to grab something to read. I need a book for myself. I can’t remember the last time I read. It’s about time I started, don’t you think?” Sarah-Jayne looked at Ronnie, who smiled and agreed that going to the bookstore was a good idea. “I’m in the mood for a book with a happily-ever-after. What about you guys?”
Ronnie agreed before running to the bathroom.
“Maybe a good love story?” Sarah-Jayne winked at Rainie, laughing.
“Mama…” Rainie shook her head, her face was still warm from the earlier mention of Milo’s name.
Sarah-Jayne playfully poked Rainie in the ribs.
“Ronnie? Are you coming? Meet us outside when you’re ready.” Sarah-Jayne called to her youngest daughter.
“I’ll meet you outside, I’m going to grab a hat and my phone.” As she walked toward her room, Rainie turned to her mother to add, “A love story sounds perfect.”
Sarah-Jayne clasped her hands together. She would understand if her daughters kept their distance from her after the trip, but she wasn’t going to dwell on that thought right now. Right now, she was going to enjoy the day. She was going to be grateful she was at the beach with both of her daughters and they were all getting along. This one day would be the best day she’d spent with her daughters in a long time, maybe ever.
〜
Spending the day on the beach, Rainie, Ronnie and Sarah-Jayne spread out their individual beach towels and stuck one large navy blue umbrella in the sand behind them. On her stomach, Rainie supported herself with her elbows as she bent over her book, Sunrise Cabin by Stacey Donovan. Ronnie was on her back, a white towel covering her eyes, her book resting unread beside her. And Sarah-Jayne was sitting in a fold-out chair soaking up Vitamin D while reading Mary Alice Monroe’s, Sweetgrass. The ocean breeze relentlessly swiped at their hair. The thunderous waves mimicked a giant white noise machine. In the distance, Rainie could hear the sounds of laughter and chatting carried by the wind from vacationers. Every now and then she’d look up from her book and study the children jumping in the waves, screaming in delight as their parents stood a few feet away, gleefully snapping photos with their phones. Her mind had been drifting to Milo all day. What were the chances she’d see him here in Corolla, after all of these years? Milo Rivers, she smiled as she repeated his name in her head.
Dog-earing the page and closing her book, Rainie rested her head on her hands and enjoyed the warmth of the sun. Although it wasn’t a vacation, Rainie recognized now how much she needed time away. She hadn’t wanted to leave the farm, but being here, sitting on the beach and feeling the salty air brush against her skin, she was enjoying the downtime. It was the first time in a long time that she could remember relaxing, without having the responsibility of another life weighing on her. She loved her life, she loved her work, but the unintended break felt nice.
Gazing out into the water, Rainie watched a ship sail in the distance. Closer to shore she spotted a pod of dolphins traveling south, their gray dorsal fins smoothly breaking the water’s surface every few seconds. On shore, she watched a pair of children playing a few feet away from where she sat. They were building a sandcastle with their plastic buckets. She remembered doing that with Ronnie when they’d come to Corolla for their one and only family vacation. Rainie turned her head to look at Ronnie now. She was still sleeping with a towel over her eyes. Turning back to the beach, Rainie’s heart skipped a beat as she watched Milo and his brothers walk along the shore.
She waved. When he didn’t see her, she shouted, “Milo!”
Wyatt poked Milo in the ribs and the three brothers turned to face her. “Rainie Lynn,” Milo smiled walking closer.
Ronnie sat up. “Hi, Milo.” She smiled and used her foot to kick sand in Rainie’s direction. “Wyatt, Liam” she nodded in acknowledgement.
Everyone exchanged greetings, including Sarah-Jayne. Milo turned to her and added, “I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband.”
Sarah-Jayne nodded, resting her open book on her lap. “Thank you, dear. And how are you doing these days?”
While Milo and Sarah-Jayne chatted, Liam and Wyatt engrossed themselves in a conversation with Ronnie about a senior prank gone wrong, so many years ago. They were all close in age. Meanwhile, Rainie let her mind drift to their high school senior prom. She and Milo had gone out for pizza rather than a fancy restaurant. It had been just the two of them. They ordered carry-out and took it back to his house. They parked down the street so his parents didn’t know they’d come back and they’d carried the box of pizza to Milo’s childhood tree house. The tree house sat in the far back of his two-acre yard. They’d spent hours there as children.
Later, they met their friends at the dance. Kissing that night in the tree house was hardly the first time they’d kissed. Their first kiss had been in the kindergarten coat closet. They were the first two students dismissed to go to the closet and retrieve their coats in preparation for recess that day. Milo leaned over and kissed Rainie as she’d finished putting her arms in her red winter coat. She blushed and then tightly hugged him. It wasn’t until the summer after their ninth-grade year that they kissed again. It was on a trip to the Kings Island amusement park in Cincinnati. They’d ridden The Beast, the world’s longest wooden roller coaster. Her hair had been blown straight back from the speed of the roller coaster and she was breathless from the thrill. “That was fun!” She turned to Milo and leaned forward, pressing her lips against his. That was all it had taken. They’d become best friends in kindergarten and they’d become an official couple ever since the moment of the roller coaster kiss. They spent the rest of the day walking around the park holding hands.
Rainie blinked as she felt a tap on her shoulder. “Earth to Rainie…” Ronnie giggled.
“Rainie, call me.” Milo smiled, kneeling down in front of her.
“I will.” She blushed. Milo and his brothers waved as they began walking down the beach. “How was your surf lesson?” She called to him.
Milo gave her a thumbs down. “I’m not made for surfing.”
“He sure isn’t.” Wyatt called back as Liam jumped on his brothers back and tossed him into the ocean. Milo waved as his brothers dunked him beneath the waves.
Sarah-
Jayne picked up her book, looking over its top at her daughters, smiling. “I was always fond of Milo.” She went back to reading, or at least pretending.
“Someone has a crush!” Ronnie teased. “Again.” Maybe some things never changed, Ronnie thought. A part of her wished she’d known her husband, Andrew, longer. She’d watched Rainie and Milo grow up together. She’d envied their connection. Their laughter came easy. Their love was always evident. Ronnie realized now that those were the elements she longed for in her own life.
Rainie playfully threw her book at Ronnie’s arm. “I’m dating someone back home. Cooper.”
Ronnie batted her eyes. “Well, does Cooper make you blush the way Milo does?”
Sarah-Jayne smiled, dropping her book back to her lap, “Maybe it’s a good time to ask…do you think you might consider staying for the week?”
Rainie blushed and felt her eye lashes flutter. She couldn’t remember blushing so much in such a short period of time. “Mama, I think I might do that.” She’d call Rebecca tonight to check-in on the farm. There was no reason she shouldn’t stay at the beach with her mama and her sister a few days longer. It didn’t hurt that Milo Rivers happened to be here, too.
5
CHAPTER FIVE
DUSTIN / DONKEY
Seized in a neglect case, Dustin was rescued by Kentucky Farm Sanctuary. He was severely underweight and had been badly mistreated. Dustin was ter rified of everyone when he arrived to the farm. Now, he is best friends with Linda and Gerry, two g oats at the sanctuary. He’s reached a healthy weight and is enjoying life now that he knows he is safe from harm.