The key turned smoothly when I slipped it in the lock, which was unusual. Most of the time I had to fiddle with it to get it to open. I braced myself for the mess I’d left behind, but my apartment had been cleaned. The books I typically left strewn on the floor were stacked neatly on the coffee table. The blankets were folded and placed over the arm of the couch, the pillows in the corners. Hayden was the only person who would take that time and care with my things.
I took off my shoes and hung up my coat, moving through the space like a voyeur. Everything felt so foreign, as if it were someone else’s home instead of my own. My bedroom was as tidy as the rest of the apartment, not a thing out of place. Or rather, everything had been put in a better, more reasonable spot. The pillows on my bed were artfully arranged against the headboard. I lifted the edge of the comforter and checked the sheets. They had been changed and had hospital corners.
In the kitchen, the fridge had been cleaned out; a fresh-cut lemon sat on the top shelf. My water jug was full, slices of lemon floating on the surface. Hayden must have stopped by recently, and more than once. He’d been waiting for me to come home.
In need of a distraction, I opened my laptop and printed out the most recent version of my thesis. I’d made little progress in my time away, too consumed with everything else. While Trey’s forged legal paperwork had bought me some time and pity from the dean of the program, I was behind the timeline for the complete rough draft. I’d have to work doubly hard to make up not only the missed time, but also the class I TA’d.
At least my scholarship hadn’t been revoked. Yet. Professor Calder had expressed his concern over the possibility that my funding might not continue, and I was sure I’d hear more about that, and his other issues, when I met with him. I planned to drop off a current draft in case he had a chance to look at it before second semester began. If there was one thing I hadn’t missed while I was in Arden Hills, it was my adviser meetings.
The temperature had done a nosedive in the last week and my car windows were covered with frost. I got in the car and blasted the heat, shivering as I waited for the windshield to clear because I didn’t have a scraper. While my teeth chattered and the car warmed, I sent Hayden a message to let him know I was heading out to pick up groceries but would be at Inked Armor by five. I didn’t even get the phone back in my pocket before Hayden fired a message back. He requested I pick up beer and food for TK, specifying the brand for both.
Northwestern was my first stop. It was quiet on campus. Most students were shut away in the library or coffee shops, cramming for exams. Classes wouldn’t resume until after the New Year. The buildings would be open during the day until the end of next week, when marks were due. I had twenty-seven essays to mark and submit by next Friday, which wouldn’t be a problem since I didn’t have a job anymore. Cassie and I had yet to discuss if I would resume shifts at Serendipity.
I took the stairs to the third floor. My hip was stiff but not overly sore. After the fight with Sienna and the sex with Hayden, I expected it to feel much worse. Maybe the workout helped. With a smile, I pushed through the door beside the bank of elevators. As I rounded the corner, a familiar-looking girl with long, sandy-blond hair stepped out of my adviser’s office with a giggle. All the way down at the other end of the hall, she didn’t notice me.
A hand shot out and dragged her back through the doorway by her waist. I stepped out of view and flattened myself against the wall. The giggling stopped abruptly, followed by a whisper of voices. I held my breath and waited. Another titter filtered down the hall, cut off by the soft click of a door’s closing.
I stayed where I was for several minutes before I peeked out again; then I crept down the hall to Professor Calder’s office. A muffled moan came from the other side of the door. It was followed by the sounds of furniture dragging across wood, and then a rhythmic slapping started. The rumors were true.
I slipped my phone out of my back pocket, went to the video-camera feature, and hit the record button as the woman began moaning in earnest. I held the phone up to Professor Calder’s nameplate. There was a loud smack, like a palm hitting skin, and low tones of admonishment. Then the banging started, loud and hard. I hoped my phone picked up the muffled sound of the woman calling out his name. When I was at risk of gagging, I pocketed my phone. Quietly, I slipped the title page free from my draft and scrawled a message. Returning it to the folder, I dropped the package into the box beside his door.
Even though it let me out on the wrong side of the building, I left through the stairwell beside his office. The door closed with an echoing slam, which was the point. I wanted to incite paranoia. As I stepped out into the frosty December afternoon, I decided I’d learned one good thing from Trey: blackmail could be an effective tool for self-preservation.
10
HAYDEN
People were annoying the hell out of me today. Lisa and Chris, to be precise. They kept looking at me, obviously waiting for something. Maybe they thought I was going to flip my shit or sit down and have a little love-in to share my feelings about Tenley’s being back, which wasn’t going to happen. And not just because I hated the sharing bullshit. My feelings were all over the place, and I was still sorting them out.
It was just past two in the afternoon. Tenley had gone to run some errands and all I could think about was when she’d be back. I pulled the folder for my client this afternoon, as well as Nate’s designs. He was supposed to stop by later in the evening to take a look at them. I figured his impromptu drop-in had more to do with what had happened at dinner on Sunday than the actual tattoo, but I didn’t mind either way. Nate’s intentions were good, even if he was looking to get all up in my head.
I left his design at my workstation and took the other one to the private room. The tattoo would span from midrib to upper thigh, down the right side of my client’s body. It was a cool design and Amy was a cool chick. I’d done a few smaller pieces for her in the past, but this was her first foray into a multisession tattoo. I was pretty damn excited to be working on another substantial piece.
I left the door open and started setting up. We were only going for a two-hour session because ribs hurt like an SOB and I didn’t want to push it. That should be enough to tackle the outline, provided we didn’t take too many breaks. Amy was realistic about her pain tolerance, which was a nice change from some of the douche nozzles who scheduled four hours of my time, then pussied out halfway through.
“Hey.” Lisa was in the doorway, leaning against the jamb.
“Is Amy here already?” I checked the time. It was only ten past. While she was prompt, she didn’t usually show up this early for a session.
“Not yet.” Lisa came inside and shut the door.
“What’s up?” I knew damn well why she was barricading me in here. Lisa had been waiting for the chance to grill me ever since I’d walked through the door with Tenley.
“How are you?”
“I’m fine.”
“Just fine?”
I smoothed out the stencil. “You don’t need to pussyfoot around the issue. Ask what you want to ask.”
“What’s going on with you and Tenley?”
I would have thought the way I’d kissed her before I sent her off answered the question. Apparently not. “We’re working things out.”
“Which means what, exactly?”
I frowned. “It means what it means. Or are you looking for a play-by-play of our conversation so you can give me your unbiased opinion on what you think I should do?”
“Sarah called me this morning. Apparently she had an interesting conversation with Candy late last night.”
Shit. Bad news traveled fast. I hadn’t even seen Candy at The Dollhouse, but my focus had been elsewhere. I got real busy checking to make sure I had the right ink. “Yeah? What’d she have to say?”
“That Sienna got into it with someone whose description fits Tenley’s, and Sienna’s nose ended up broken. Candy also might have mentioned to Sarah that you stopp
ed by The Dollhouse. She said Sienna was all in a rage after you left. Do you want to fill in the missing details?”
“Tenley left her keys with Sarah when she went back to Arden Hills. She stopped at The Dollhouse thinking Sarah would be there and had a run-in with Sienna instead. Things got heated. I picked her up.”
“Tenley called you?”
About twenty times. I’d ignored them all. “No. Jay did.”
I could tell there was a lot Lisa wanted to ask, but she chose her questions carefully. She started with the most telling one. “Did Tenley stay at your place last night?”
“Yeah. She was pretty shaken up after The Dollhouse bullshit. Sienna pushed her around a bit before Tenley fought back. She couldn’t manage the stairs to her apartment because of her hip. Besides, TK was at my place and Tenley wanted to see her.”
I was rationalizing the hell out of my actions, but I didn’t need Lisa’s judgment. I’d spent enough time without Tenley. Now that she was back, I wasn’t inclined to play it cool and take all sorts of space. Even if the smarter course of action was to dip a toe in and check the temperature before diving headlong into a boiling pot of water. I was a diver, not a dipper.
“Did you have sex with her?”
“Seriously? I don’t get all up in your personal business and ask if you’re putting out for Jamie on the regular,” I snapped.
“Jamie and I have sex daily. Usually in the morning, because that’s when Jamie has the best longevity and it puts me in a good mood. There. Now I’ve shared. Your turn.”
I cringed at the mental image. “Why, Lisa? Why would you tell me that? I don’t need those details.”
“Oh? And here I thought that’s what this was about. The only time you’ve been reticent about your previous sexual escapades is when you were with Sienna, and when you broke your own stupid rule with Tenley. Based on how dodgy you’re being, I’m pretty sure I know the answer to the question anyway.”
“And your point is?”
Lisa arched a brow. “I’m just checking to see where you’re at. She’s been gone for weeks and you’ve been a mess. She comes back, and the first thing you do is fall into bed with her? After everything that’s happened, do you think that’s a good decision?”
“We talked first.”
“And everything’s better? After one conversation?”
“There were two conversations. One last night and one this morning.”
“And when did you get it on, in between the two?”
“After the one this morning.” Because that made it so much better.
“Oh. Well, then. Two heartfelt chats later and you’re over her leaving with no explanation?” Lisa asked snidely.
“No, but it’s not like I can pull a do-over, can I?”
“I believe you’ve tried that before, with little success.”
I glared at her. “I don’t understand why you’re being like this. I figured you’d be glad we were sorting shit out.” Although, if I was honest, the sex with Tenley complicated the situation. All my anger, frustration, and fear had funneled right into the hard, fast, mind-blowing, multiple-orgasm bliss. While it had been a good form of stress relief, it unearthed a barrage of other crap I wasn’t ready to deal with. I kept that shit to myself.
“I’m happy she’s back, but you need to be careful, and not just for your sake. You two have a lot to sort through.”
“Like I said, we’re working it out. She gets that I’m angry with her for leaving, and I’m not telling her everything is fine now that she’s back.”
“That’s great. But there’s more to this than Tenley leaving, and the things you learned about her. You’ve got your own skeletons you’re not dealing with. You can’t keep them buried forever.”
There was a knock on the door and Jamie poked his head in. He looked from me to Lisa and back again. “Sorry to interrupt,” he said slowly. “Amy’s here.”
His timing couldn’t have been better. “Perfect. I’ll be right out.”
“Do you want a minute?” he asked.
“Nope. We’re good here.”
“I’ll let her know.” Jamie’s head disappeared and he left the door open.
When I tried to get around Lisa, she put a hand on my arm, a gentle request to hear her out.
“Remember that talk we had about things not always being black and white, back before you started the outline on Tenley?”
“What about it?”
“Maybe you need to find a middle ground, so this thing with Tenley isn’t all or nothing. She obviously wants to be with you, like you want to be with her. All I’m suggesting is this time you might want to slow down and get all the important stuff out of the way first.”
Lisa had a valid point. I wasn’t good at taking things slow and Tenley was no exception. I’d practically lived in her apartment as soon as I got into her pants. But it wasn’t just about the sex back then, and it wasn’t now. It made the whole issue difficult to navigate. I wanted her, and I wanted to be with her; separating the two needs was a challenge. They were entwined; one begot the other. But then, I’d never felt about anyone else the way I felt about Tenley.
“Have you been talking to Nate?”
Lisa’s nose crinkled. “What? Why?”
“Because you sound like him with your life metaphors and therapizing.”
“‘Therapizing’?”
“I’m pretty sure it’s a word. If not, I’m petitioning to have it added to Webster’s.”
Lisa rolled her eyes, then grew serious once more. “Therapy wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world for you.”
“I already know what’s wrong with me.”
She gave me a look. “Just think about what I said. I’m on your side. Tenley was good for you before she left. I hope she still is. I would hate to see it all fall apart again because you’re still protecting each other from your pasts. Relationships are no easy thing. Anyone who tells you otherwise is full of crap.”
Lisa left me standing there, somewhat stupefied. She and Jamie didn’t fight, not that I ever saw. Occasionally Lisa was snippy or Jamie was in one of his moods, but they were always respectful of one another and affectionate to the point of making those around them gag. I often teased Jamie for being pussy whipped and he didn’t deny it. It never occurred to me that they had issues—but then, I guess I wouldn’t have that insight, considering how guarded I was. No one had ever gotten close enough for me to contend with real problems. Not until Tenley. So far, I seemed to be sucking at it.
I was still a little dazed when I came out of the room to greet Amy. Since Chris didn’t have a client, they were chatting it up. Amy had her hand on his forearm, her head thrown back in laughter.
“Hey, gorgeous!” she exclaimed when she saw me.
“How’s it going?” I accepted the brief hug.
“Awesome! I’m superpsyched.” She tilted her head to the side. “You look different.”
“I haven’t had a haircut in a while.” I scratched the side of my head. My hair was getting long and I’d been in too much of funk to ask Lisa to take care of it.
“No, I noticed that last week. I meant to tell you that you look almost civilized with all that hair. But don’t worry, the piercings keep you badass.”
“That’s a relief. I wouldn’t want to go mainstream or anything.”
“How tragic would that be? Still, there’s something . . . I don’t know. I’ll tell you when I figure it out.” She looked me over in a clinical, assessing way, which wasn’t unusual for her since she worked as an EMT. When she couldn’t come up with anything, she dropped it and clapped her hands together. “Should we get started?”
I smiled. “Let’s do it.”
Like Lisa and Tenley, she was feisty, but less subdued. In two-hour blocks, Amy was an awesome dose of energy. I always finished a session with her wanting to run a marathon or something.
I led her to the private room and gave her specific directions on what clothing she needed to remove. Beca
use the tattoo spanned from ribs to thigh, she’d have to lose everything from the waist down. We could work around her shirt, but she couldn’t wear her bra. We had smocks to cover the important parts, but I’d still be looking at most of her ass the entire time. It was unavoidable.
I left the room to let her undress and checked my phone for messages from Tenley. There weren’t any, so like the sucker I was, I sent her one. Her reply came immediately. She was at the pet store and wanted to buy TK something new to play with. I suggested kitty weed. She questioned my parenting skills. I considered briefly what it would be like to have a real kid and abruptly shut down that train of thought. No way would I ever want that responsibility, or the mess or worry that came along with it. TK was more than enough.
Amy poked her head out into the hall. “I’m all set.”
“Cool.” I pocketed my phone and we got down to business.
As expected, Amy needed frequent breaks. Even with a stress ball, the area over her ribs was extrasensitive. Where Tenley was slender but curvy, Amy was rail thin. She was a runner, so there wasn’t much body fat as cushioning. She held her own, but she was ready to call it quits after two hours. In that time I managed to complete the outline, so we’d be ready for color next time she came in.
After the ink was dressed, she changed back into her clothes and met me in the main studio. Lisa wanted to see Amy’s new body art. Neither one thought to head to one of the empty rooms in the back for privacy. Instead, Amy, who wasn’t shy, lifted her shirt to display the tattoo traveling from beneath her nonexistent breasts to her nearly curveless hips. Lisa got right in there and checked it out, while two frat boys gawked at them from chairs across the room. They were waiting for Lisa to hook them up with some new piercings. At least, that’s what they’d told her. I was putting money on one of them chickening out, since their proposed piercings were of the below-the-belt variety.
As Lisa and Amy nattered away about the color scheme for the design, the bell above the door tinkled and Tenley walked into the shop. Her face was flushed from the cold. The collar of her black winter coat was flipped up to shield her face. She wore a hot-pink hat with a black skull and crossbones on it. The skull had a bow on the top of its head. She looked cute. Her eyes met mine as she removed the hat and shook out her hair.
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