Waiting on the Sidelines

by Scott, Ginger

  It was closing in on Reed’s birthday, and I had a grand plan, but not much time to pull it off. I had been collecting clippings from the paper and photos from here and there since our freshman year. But I missed a few weeks this season; the weeks when I was so seething angry at Reed that I almost threw my entire box filled with his accomplishments away.

  I had always planned on building him a scrapbook, but in the back of my mind it was sort of just a fantasy. Like when people say they’d like to run a marathon one day. But I knew if I did it right, and asked for a little help from my crafty friend Sienna, it would be something he would cherish.

  Tugging the box from my closet, I started to lay out the items when I heard Sienna come through the front door.

  “Hey, I’m in here,” I yelled.

  She came bouncing in, her hair in a buoyant ponytail and a guilty grin on her face.

  “Sienna? What did you do,” I teased her. She just smiled and bit her lip a little, finally giving in.

  “Nolan, don’t get mad, but I sort of slept with Micah,” she spilled so quickly that I had to blink a few times to process what it all meant. Before thinking, I spoke.

  “You mean… you had sex?!” I sounded shocked and a bit admonishing, because I was.

  “See, this is why I didn’t want to tell you,” she started to pick up her things, and I grabbed her hand and forced her back down.

  “No, no. I’m sorry for that bad reaction. You just surprised me. I… I didn’t realize you and Micah were that serious,” I was slowly trying to acclimate myself with this new information about my best friend. “So…what was it like?”

  Deep down, I really wanted to know. I had thought about it with Reed briefly, sure, but only in the abstract. But now that we were dating, the worry about it plagued me a little more. It wasn’t something I was ready for, and I was surely shocked that Sienna was.

  “Well, little miss obsessed with the football player,” she joked, pointing out that I had probably missed a lot of the details of her life lately. “We’ve been seeing each other a lot over the last few months, and we both went to that same weekend music camp and sort of got really close.”

  “Uh, exactly how close,” I teased, but was desperate for details now.

  “Not that close,” she corrected, but then smiled. “Not then, at least.”

  “So, when did it happen?” I asked.

  “Last weekend after the homecoming dance,” she was grinning ear-to-ear. “My parents were out of town, so he sort of just stayed the night…with me.”

  I needled her for a few more details, like how much it hurt, did she like it and what did they use for protection – I felt like a parent on that one – but I really was happy to hear how much he seemed to care for my friend. They were a pretty exclusive item now, and I was happy to see her so loved. It also dawned on me, though, that I was the only one in our group of friends who would be able to check the virgin box at the doctor’s office, and that left me conflicted.

  After a few hours of sorting and working with Sienna’s box of supplies, we had a good start on Reed’s birthday gift. I was pretty sure I would be able to get it done by the weekend. I just needed to pay one visit to Buck to get what I needed.

  I knew he would be home on Sunday watching all of the games, so I stopped in while Reed was out running with Sean. Buck had become like a second father to me over the past few months, and when he found out that Reed and I were officially dating, he beamed with pride. “That boy and his thick head finally figured it out,” he joked.

  Buck was able to get me more than I had hoped for, including several awards, medals from Reed’s youth, older newspaper clippings and the hype articles that I had missed this year, including the mention of Reed as one of the nation’s top 25 high school quarterbacks in Sports Illustrated. I hid everything under the seat of my car to ensure Reed wouldn’t notice and came back inside to curl up on the sofa across from Buck and take in some football.

  We were both yelling at the screen when I heard the door shut and Reed came walking in. “That’s bullshit!” Buck was flaring at the television, and I was just agreeing, standing with my hands on my hips.

  He slid his arms through mine and put his chin on my shoulder to greet me from behind and I squeezed his arms around the front of me as if they were safety belts on a daredevil roller coaster. “Mmmmmm, so what’s all the bullshit?” he half whispered in my ear.

  Buck started explaining the bad call to him, something about two feet being in, but I had honestly stopped paying attention. All I could hear, all I could feel was Reed’s breath on my ear.

  “Hey, pops, I’m going to take my girl upstairs while I get changed. I’ll be a boy scout, though, I swear,” Reed crossed his heart. Buck just waved us off, still mad at the referees on TV.

  Reed slung me over his shoulder and started for the stairs. I kicked a little and then forced my way out of his grip. He frowned a little, but I stopped him quickly.

  “I’ve just seen you pull that move on too many other girls… I want something that’s my own,” I sheepishly grinned, a little embarrassed at how jealous and shallow I could be.

  Reed pursed his lips a little and then let them slide into a smile as he swung his arms under my legs and carried me up the stairs like it was our wedding night, my arms slung around his neck. “Well then, this will have to be our move,” he joked.

  Once in his room, he shut the door and I sat back on his bed, my feet dangling a bit over the edge. I smiled and laughed a little to myself because at my house, there was no way that bedroom door would ever be shut. Especially if Reed was pulling off his shirt to take a shower, which, oh my, he was doing now.

  He tossed his stinky shirt at me and I chided him for being gross and smelly, but when he went into his bathroom I pulled the shirt in close just to remember his scent. When he came out in just a towel, I blushed a little, taking less-than-obvious peeks at his abdominal muscles and defined chest. Catching me, he narrowed his eyes and bent his smirking face down just enough to startle my vision back up to his eyes.

  “Why, are you checking me out Miss Nolan Lennox?” he teased.

  “Uh, yeah, I was. Now, could you turn around and walk that way for a bit,” I scratched my chin and acted like a gymnastic judge at the Olympics, not willing to let him embarrass me. He just grabbed a sock and flung it at me, laughing.

  Once Reed was changed he sent a text to Sean asking him if he and Becky wanted to come over for the afternoon games and pizza with us.

  “Cool, Sean said they’d be here in 30 minutes with some pizza,” he said, tossing his phone to the side and crawling on the bed and pushing me backwards until I was laying flat and he was positioned right over me.

  “I like pizza,” I tried to distract. Always the smooth one, I was.

  Reed just smiled and continued to move closer until he was propped up on his elbows and hovering over my face, moving pieces of my hair out of my face and sliding them behind my ear slowly.

  Reed had been taking things very slow with me. We usually never made it beyond some rough kissing and making out, despite my every attempt to let him know that it would be okay if he pushed the boundaries a little with me. I think he was still freaked out about Tyler, even though I wasn’t. He didn’t want to be compared (like he ever could).

  Not able to take his nearness any more, I tilted my chin up and initiated our kiss. He always kept his hands on my face when he could, and as we rolled to our sides he held my cheeks tenderly now. But I wanted him to give me more, and I was going to bust down the doors a little today on my own if I had to.

  After several minutes of kissing, I pushed myself up so I was lying on top of Reed, and this forced him to move his arms and slide his hands around my back. Pushing myself up a little, I scooted on my knees and finally sat so I was straddling him, and the power and intensity of it all was urging me forward. I had never felt like this with Tyler, and I knew it was because it was always supposed to be Reed.

  Sliding my ha
nds up his stomach, under his soft T-shirt, I smoothed them over his chest, admiring him and wanting him at the same time. Reed reached up and grabbed my wrists, almost as if he was trying to slow me down. I just shook my head a little and smiled sweetly. “Please? I am ok, I would tell you,” I said, as he slowly loosened his grip, his eyes still questioning me, but relenting a little more.

  I lifted the bottom of his shirt and slowly slid it over his head, wanting to feel more of his warm skin. I leaned forward and placed tiny kisses along his stomach and up his chest until he couldn’t take it and pushed his hands demandingly into my hair, pulling my mouth to his for a hungry kiss, more urgent than ever before.

  Twisting my legs with his, we both rolled a little more on his bed and when I felt his hands start to push the back of my shirt up and grip at my skin, I reveled a little at my victory. Willing him on, I dug my hands into his back a little. But when he stopped there, I decided I had to give this one more try, and I moved him back under me where he was more helpless. Sitting up, holding his hands to the sides, I stared into his eyes. They were full of want, but he was restraining. Can’t he see I’m not looking for a gentleman right now?

  Biting my lower lip a little and grinning, I reached for the bottom of my T-shirt and started to pull it up when he stopped me. I stared at him for a moment, my eyes trying to convey my comfort with him, and then soon he was helping me.

  I sat there before him, almost bare, and waited for his reaction. When his eyes slid from mine and followed his hand as it traced the curve of my neck and shoulders, I shivered. Reed stilled for a moment, but I smiled softly, my eyes begging. He slowly slid the straps of my bra over my shoulders, first running his fingers over the tops of my breasts before reaching behind me to finally unhook my bra.

  Whereas with Tyler I felt ashamed and nervous at this point, with Reed I felt adored and appreciated. He kept his eyes on mine mostly, though I did notice when he would look at my bare skin, taking in a deep breath. Finally pulling at my chin to urge me closer, he grabbed the back of my head again and soon we were back to kissing, though this time, the feeling of our warm skin against each other was the main focus, and it was something I was sure I wanted more of.

  We heard Becky and Sean pull up outside and managed to finesse ourselves into something presentable in a matter of seconds. After a few hours of games and pizza, I kissed Reed goodbye and headed back home. I could have stayed all night, but I still had a lot of work to do on his gift before his party Friday, though with everything Buck had given me, I was sure it was going to come out well now.

  I also had a few assignments to finish, though my junior year so far seemed to be academically easy. My grades were still all A’s, which was all that truly mattered as far as scholarships were concerned. And scholarships were a very important part of the Lennox college plan if I didn’t want to be saddled with loans.

  The week at school flew by. I saw Reed after practice often, but we were both pretty busy, so we weren’t able to sneak in much alone time. I dreamt of his touch every night, and a few times we fell asleep with one another on the phone, just listening to each other breathe. I loved these nights, talking until we couldn’t keep our eyes open. Reed would tell me stories about growing up when his parents were still married, his first football games and his grade school girlfriends. The more I learned about his youth the more I wish I’d known him all my life.

  When Friday arrived, I made plans to arrive at his party on my own. I had bought a new sweater dress at the big mall in town with my mom the weekend before and I wanted to have her help me with my hair and makeup so I could surprise him a little.

  Pulling on my big boots with the deep red dress, I stepped in front of the mirror and pulled the clip out that was holding the curls my mom had made atop my head. I shook out my hair a little and added a touch of the lipstick Sarah had given me. I was meeting Reed’s mom for the first time tonight, so I wanted to look mature and good enough for her son. Sadly, that meant I also wanted to look expensive.

  I pulled into Reed’s driveway behind a few other cars. The only one I recognized was Sean’s, but I was relieved that he and Becky were already here. I decided to wait to give Reed his gift later when we were alone, so I moved it to the back seat of my car, making sure the paper was tucked nicely in the box and tightening the ribbon a little more.

  As I shut the door I noticed a black Cadillac pulling in behind me. I turned and started to walk up the drive way and rang the bell. Within seconds, Buck was there inviting me in.

  “Girlie, get on in here,” he wrapped me into a big hug, then whispered a little in my ear. “Don’t look, but that’s my ex-wife behind you. Just take a deep breath, and you’ll be fine. She’s a…handful.” He leaned back to look at me, winked and smiled.

  I appreciated having Buck on my side, but I desperately wanted Reed’s mom to like me just as much as he did. I slid behind Buck and into the house before his mother made it up to the doorway. I could hear a bit of their cordial greetings behind me when Reed came flying down the stairs and scooped me up, swinging me around in a circle and planting a big kiss on my lips.

  I giggled a little until we both turned and stopped to see his mother handing Buck a giant white wool coat and brushing the front of her dress with her hands.

  “Reed sweetie, come give me a kiss,” she held her hands out, smiling at her boy. She seemed so proud of her son. She reached up to touch his cheeks and gave them a soft tap and held his shoulders to look him over before hugging him and kissing his cheek. “Oh how I’ve missed you, darling. You must come stay with me and Sam sometime soon, OK?”

  Her hair was immaculate. It was short and blonde and cut to perfection. Her glasses were dark frames and pointed a little on the edges. She was all business and intimidating as hell. It was interesting to see her standing next to Buck, who was more relaxed and down-to-earth. She was a beautiful woman, but I thought to myself that must have been all the connection was for Buck, because at the surface, they seemed so very different.

  Reed led his mother over to where I was standing and I gulped hard, waiting for this introduction.

  “Mom, I want you to meet my girlfriend, Nolan,” my heart dropped at the word girlfriend, but I held it together and smiled, reaching out my hand. It could have been my imagination, but I felt a slight hesitation from Reed’s mom as she shot Reed a quick glance before she turned to shake my hand, giving me a tight, closed-mouthed smile and peering at me a little from the top of her glasses.

  “What a pleasant surprise,” she said, looking between Reed and I. “I didn’t know you had a serious girlfriend, son. We haven’t talked enough.”

  “It’s very nice to meet you,” I smiled, still shaking her hand. When she looked down at it, I pulled it away slowly, realizing how eager and desperate I was coming off.

  “Please, call me Millie, dear,” she said, turning to set her purse and gift bags on the table by the door, almost dismissing me.

  When Sean walked up to greet her hello I finally exhaled, relief washing over me that this part of my night was finally done. I followed Reed into the kitchen where Becky was waiting along with a few of his teammates. There was quite a spread laid out along with all of Buck’s barbecue fixings, a Johnson tradition. We all made a plate of food and headed out to the patio for a little more privacy.

  There were a few other family members scattered around, uncles and aunts along with some UofA alumni friends of Buck’s. Everyone greeted me warmly, but it may have been that I was just imagining them to take to me more since my cold greeting from Millie a few minutes earlier.

  Reed kept me close and at his side the entire night. His warmth was comforting, and despite having kissed him so many times now, I still got a thrill every time his arm wrapped around me or his leg brushed beside mine when we sat near one another.

  About an hour into the party, Reed’s father called everyone inside for an announcement. We all gathered around the large dining table by the wall-to-wall windows that look
ed out onto the patio. One of Reed’s uncles started handing out champagne glasses to all of us. I took a tiny sniff of mine and was surprised when it was real champagne. Waiting, we all looked up to Buck as he coughed a little to get our attention.

  “Thank you all for coming today. Millie and I, well… we might fight like cats and dogs,” he laughed, and Millie chided him, elbowing his side a little. “Well, you know we do.” He said quietly, but still loud enough we all heard.

  She urged him to go on, rolling her eyes. “Anyhow, despite that, we’ve always had one thing we could agree on. Our sons. Jason has decided to move to New Mexico where he is opening up a new Johnson dealership, starting it all on his own, and we couldn’t be prouder.”

  Everyone cheered and clapped, Reed turned to me and raised his eyebrows a little, secretly mocking his older brother whom I knew he didn’t necessarily find to be as perfect as everyone else did. He looked back to his parents when his father said his name.

  “Then there’s Reed, the man of the hour,” he joked, holding his glass up for a bit. “Reed, my boy, you have no idea how proud we are of you. You work hard, and you’ve had your eyes set on a goal since you and I first started tossing the pigskin around the front yard when you were four.”

  “I think we can all agree that Reed has grown up to be quite a quarterback,” Buck boasted, and everyone nodded in agreement. “But, I just wanted to share in front of you all exactly how good he is.”

  Buck popped open his briefcase that was sitting on the table and started pulling large envelopes out, setting them on the table one at a time. Reed seemed a little surprised and quite a bit embarrassed by this show, his leg bouncing behind the table. But he also knew his father was just trying to brag out of love, so he held my hand tightly and let him continue.