Brutal (A Real Man, 11)

by Jenika Snow

  I had to smile at that. “How about takeout and movie at your place?”

  He looked at me, his blue eyes seeming to pierce right into me. I felt like I could melt right into the floor. When I was with Axel, I felt like I was the only person who mattered to him.

  He sure as hell was the most important person to me.

  3

  Axel

  I glanced back out the window, staring at my car, seeing Roxie in there. She was looking at something on her phone as I waited inside for the to-go pizza I’d bring back to my place.

  To be honest I was happy as fuck she was coming back to my place, even if it was only pizza and something on Netflix.

  “Axel?”

  I turned when my name was called, the feminine voice a little too saccharine, a little too fake. A blonde with big tits and wearing a micro-mini shirt and skirt stood there, her tiny purse having these sparkling gems on it that, when they caught the light, nearly blinded me.

  I didn’t know who the fuck she was, even though she clearly knew me.

  “It’s Brandi, from the fights.”

  Nope, not ringing a fucking bell.

  She came up to me, her perfume so cloying my throat tightened. I took a step back, because I knew where this was going. Girls like her, ones that hung around the matches wanting some dick from the winners, were a dime a dozen in this field.

  She reached out, and before I could move, she ran her hand down my arm.

  “I was with a group of my girlfriends. We were watching a match for my friend’s bachelorette party.” She grinned. “You have to have seen me. I flashed you.” She giggled.

  “Axel, order’s up.”

  I pushed her hand away, stared her right in the eye, and said, “You’re the furthest thing from what I’m interested in.” I lifted my head and stared out the window at Roxie. She was looking right at me, this strange expression on her face. I glanced back at the too-made-up chick. “Not going to happen between you and me. Ever. I have eyes for only one person, and you don’t even come close to her.”

  Maybe I could have been sweeter, gentler about it all, but fuck that. This chick had the balls to touch me, to think she knew me, that I’d be into her.

  Hell, no.

  I turned and grabbed the pizza and went to the only girl who ever meant anything to me. Roxie was the only woman I had ever been interested in and would ever want in my life.

  She’s the girl I was madly in love with, and tonight I’d tell her how I felt.

  Roxie

  Even though we’d been back at Axel’s place for the last half hour, I still wondered what had happened between him and that girl. I glanced at him, his focus on the cheesy horror movie I’d picked out, mainly because I hadn’t been paying much attention.

  My thoughts had been on the gorgeous female who’d touched his arm.

  I shouldn’t have thought too hard on it, because I was sure plenty of women hit on him. Hell. Axel was built like a tank, his looks that of a fallen angel. He wasn’t handsome in the classic sense but had that bad-boy appearance going on.

  But I saw him as mine, and the very thought of some random girl talking to him made me see green.

  And if you want him, you should probably say something.

  I cleared my throat and tried to focus on the TV. I wanted to tell him how I felt, saw it all playing out in my head, but the truth was I was pretty scared. I didn’t know if this would freak him out, ruin our friendship, or put this giant wall between us. I didn’t know if I could have handled that.

  So instead of saying what I really wanted to, what I should have said a long time ago, I went with something neutral. “I swear, why do the majority of heroines in scary movies seem to be so stupid?”

  Axel looked at me and started laughing.

  “I’m serious. I can’t be the only one who notices this stuff.” I ran my hands over my thighs, my palms sweating, my heart racing.

  He shook his head. “No, you’re not the only one, but if they were kick-ass all the time, the movie might be over with a little fast.”

  I rested back on the couch and reached for the bowl of popcorn, needing something to occupy my hands so I didn’t look glaringly nervous. “No, I think it would prolong it.” I tried to focus on the movie, but the feeling of Axel’s body right next to mine, the heat coming from him, and how he smelled so damn good made concentrating nearly impossible.

  He put his arm over the couch, right behind me, which made me acutely aware of how close he really was. We sat in silence for the rest of the movie, mainly because I was trying to work myself up to telling him my feelings, to finally breaking through my fear.

  I love him, so damn much it hurts, but can I take the risk of ruining our friendship in hopes that he feels the same way?

  And then the movie turned sexual. I felt my body heat, not because the sex scene was especially graphic or arousing but because I was thinking about Axel. How would he feel touching me, taking my clothes off… pinning me to the bed with his hard, muscular body?

  I became even more aware of Axel sitting beside me. I could see him out of the corner of my eye, his chest rising and falling just a little faster, a little harder than normal. Was this having the same effect on him as it was on me?

  But I kept my focus on the TV. The couple started kissing, the woman’s moans exaggerated, erotic. And then soon they were naked, but of course we just saw the woman’s breasts. The couple started moving in a very sexual way, and I felt my face heat. I was a virgin, but I’d seen porno, knew all that went down in that category. But I was watching this with Axel, and that made me very aware of my surroundings, of how my body was reacting.

  I found myself looking at Axel. His body looked hard, not in the normal, powerful way but in the way that told me he was tense. And then he turned his head and stared right at me. Our eyes locked, the heat in the room seemed to increase, and I felt beads of perspiration dotting my skin.

  My body was reacting in a way only Axel could make it. My lips felt too dry, my tongue swollen. The sound of the couple having sex seemed to be amplified in the room, and although it was a cheesy movie, the sex scene something on late-night cable, I was so turned on.

  I was wet, my panties damp, my body ready for Axel.

  I felt my chest rising and falling, the chemistry clearly moving between us, making me think maybe he felt the same way for me. Surely friends didn’t react this way just because some sex scene was on the TV.

  And when I saw Axel look down at my mouth, I found myself lowering my gaze to his lap. There, pressing against his jeans, was a massive erection. My throat tightened, every part of me tingled, and I found myself opening my mouth, about to say what I had wanted to for so long.

  But the words lodged in my throat.

  Is this really happening? Is this a moment between us?

  The longer we stared at each other, the more the blood rushed through my veins, the pressure in my body becoming almost unbearable.

  But before I could say anything, Axel was up and leaving the room. I sat there, staring at the fading sex scene, hearing him in the kitchen getting something to drink.

  I stood, but he was back quickly. He held a beer out to me, the bottle chilled.

  “Everything okay?”

  He looked tense, like he wanted to say something. Maybe this had been in my head, the chemistry I felt, the moment I thought we had shared.

  “I’m good,” he said, his jaw tight. He sat on the couch again, took a long swig of the beer, and stared at the movie.

  I wasn’t going to wait, wasn’t going to let my fear override this. I had to start living for today, for the future. Worrying about what might or might not happen was only going to hold me down.

  4

  Axel

  I was harder than a fucking steel rod. My cock jammed against my zipper, demanding to be free, to be buried within the tight, hot body of Roxie. I scrubbed a hand over my face, trying to stay calm, to be collected.

  But the way she’d
looked at me. The way she’d reacted.

  She’d been turned on. I’d seen it, hell, fucking felt it. The air had heated, my entire body had become tense, and my cock had gotten harder than it ever had before. All because she’d looked at me like she wanted me.

  I’d had to get up and leave, get some air, some space. I wanted to tell her, and I would. I’d tell her how much I loved her, that she was mine even before she knew it. I couldn’t stand to think about her with another man.

  God, I’d saved myself for her, because no other woman did it for me. No other female would ever do it for me. Roxie was mine, and it was now or never. I’d waited long enough to tell her that we belonged together.

  I took one more swig from my beer, set it on the coffee table, and turned to face her. She was watching me, her face looking so fucking perfect, her gaze locked on mine. She was nervous, I could tell. I could see it in the way her pulse beat wildly at the base of her neck, and the way her chest rose and fell harshly.

  And just when I was about to open my heart to the girl I was madly, deeply in love with, she cleared her throat and started talking first.

  “I don’t want things to get weird, but I have to say something.”

  My body tensed. I expected the worst, expected her to know how I felt from the way I’d acted just moments ago. I assumed she’d say nothing could ever happen between us, even though I’d seen that she was worked up, aroused.

  She was silent for a second, clearly in her thoughts. And then when she looked at me, her eyes so big, so round and expressive, I braced myself.

  “I love you, Axel. God, I love you so much it hurts.” She let out this breath, as though she’d been holding it in.

  The air left my lungs like I’d been sucker punched in the gut. I couldn’t even move, let alone form a coherent word.

  She loved me. My girl loved me.

  Images, words, they all played through my mind, things I wanted to say to her, do with her. I wanted to say the words back, give her that affirmation that I loved her too. But the words were lodged in my throat.

  Instead I cupped her face, her skin so soft, her cheeks so delicate in my big, scarred hands.

  “Say it again,” I whispered, needing to hear it again.

  She smiled, and my heart kicked into overdrive.

  “I love you, Axel. I’ve always loved you, and I will love you until there’s nothing left of me.”

  I pulled her on top of me, her legs now straddling my waist, the smile on her face priceless. This was what living was, what being truly happy felt like. I’d always been happy with Roxie because having her in my life, even as just a friend, was good enough for me. Losing her because I’d fucked things up, even inadvertently, was a nightmare I had.

  “God, baby,” I whispered, not sure if this was real or one incredible dream. “I love you too, so fucking much.” I stroked my finger along her cheek. “I’ve loved you from the moment I even knew what that was, from before that, hell.”

  She smiled, this soft, sweet, and innocent one that had my cock jerking.

  “It’s only ever been you for me, Roxie. You’re it for me.”

  I had my hands in her hair, my mouth on hers. I kissed her like my life depended on it, like I was losing this battle and the only way to survive, to win was to kiss her.

  She had her hands on my shoulders, her nails lightly digging into my cotton-covered skin. I wanted those nails in my flesh, wanted them scoring my skin, marking me as hers.

  Because I was hers, the same way she was mine.

  “Is this really happening?” she whispered against my mouth, and all I could say, the only sound I could form was a soft grunt.

  “Whatever you want is yours.” I kissed her again, sliding my tongue between her lips, letting her taste me, taste what I had for her, what I wanted from her. She was so small atop me, her body almost fragile compared to my brutality. I felt like I could break her if I wasn’t careful. “I’ve been waiting for you forever, baby.” I rested my forehead against hers, and we breathed the same air, our respirations frantic.

  She started kissing me, her lips smooth, soft on mine. I let her take the lead. I let her set the pace. I rested back on the couch, giving myself over to her. My cock was so fucking hard, the length pressing painfully against my zipper, the fucker demanding to be free.

  “This is about you. This has always been about you, Roxie.” I wasn’t going to rush her, wasn’t going to push her. She was the one in control, even if every single part of me wanted to take her to my room, strip her clothes off, and make her feel really fucking good.

  She didn’t speak for a second, but I had all the time in the world for her.

  “I’ve never been with anyone, Axel.”

  The air left my lungs painfully. Although I pretty much knew she was a virgin, my possessiveness for her making me like a fucking hawk when it came to guys sniffing around her, hearing her say the word was still so powerful.

  “Fuck, baby.” I groaned and kissed her hard. “I’ve never been with anyone either. I only want you.”

  She started breathing harder, faster.

  “I want this, want you.” She dug her nails into my shoulders again. “I want to be your first, and I want you to be mine.”

  I closed my eyes and groaned. I might be a virgin, but shit, I wanted to do some pretty fucking filthy things to her. The truth was I was proud I had never been with anyone else. She was it for me, always had been, and always would be.

  If she wanted this, I was going to make her know, make her feel by using my body, how much she meant to me.

  “This is really happening, right?” she asked, her voice almost dazed.

  “Oh yeah, baby. This is so happening.” I kissed her again.

  I didn’t have to be an expert in bed to know how to please my girl. I’d show her how good I could make her feel, hear her cry out in pleasure when I was buried deep in her, claiming her virginity the same way she would claim mine.

  I crushed her to me, my big arms around her smaller body. She felt good against me, smelled incredible, and I was harder than granite.

  I speared my hands in her hair and kissed her until we were both gasping for air. I wanted to drown in her, wouldn’t even care if I died right now. My dreams were coming true, my girl was in my arms, wanting me, and all was right in the world.

  How would she feel if I told her all these years it was her I’d jerked off to, her I’d thought about naked, shaking in pleasure for me, crying out my name, as I had my hand wrapped around my cock?

  But this moment wasn’t one of my fantasies. She was here. This was my reality.

  She pulled away, gasping for air, her lips red, swollen.

  “Kiss me again,” she moaned.

  I did just that.

  I held her still with my hands in her hair as I fucked her mouth like I wanted to do between her legs. And when she arched into me, her breasts pressing into my chest, I just about let go.

  Roxie was ready for me; I knew that without a doubt. She ground her sweet jean-covered pussy on my lap, right over my cock, and I lifted my erection so it pressed against her.

  I needed more, so much more.

  Without even being inside of her, I knew I could have come, knew I could have gotten off from kissing her alone.

  Roxie panted against my mouth, and even if I wanted to kiss her forever, never stop until my lips were bruised, I did pull back.

  As much as I would have loved to take her right here, the truth was I wanted her in my bed, naked, under me, ready for it all. I could have been drunk on her scent, on the feel of her, the way she held on to me, looked into my eyes with such longing and passion.

  “Take me to the bedroom, Axel. Take me to your bed.”

  My heart pounded like a fucking jackhammer in my chest, a war drum beating against my ribs.

  I wrapped my arms around her, held her to me, and got off the couch. I walked into the bedroom. My cock was digging between her thighs, my need for her so strong, so powerful
I couldn’t even think straight.

  When we were in the room, the door shut, Roxie in the center of my bed, I took a step back. Even fully dressed she was so fucking gorgeous. She was the most beautiful woman in the world.

  “I need to be with you,” I said, not sure if she even understood me. My voice was deep, serrated, my desire for her like gasoline on an open fire.

  And she didn’t hesitate in the slightest. I watched as she sat up, undressing for me, her focus trained on my face. I wanted this moment to be in slow motion, wanted to absorb every second of it, have it ingrained in my head like a brand.

  And then she was naked, every inch of her creamy skin on full display. She had a light sprinkling of freckles along her shoulder blades, ones I’d seen before, but now they meant so much more. Now they were set in an intimate place.

  A part of me wanted to go slow, to make this last. But another part of me wanted to take her roughly, possessively. I wanted to spank her perfect ass until the red print of my hand was on her flesh, a mark of my claim.

  Virgin or not, I knew what I wanted, how I wanted to give it to her, and trying to be sweet and gentle—the way she deserved—was going to be fucking hard.

  “Your turn,” she whispered, and I didn’t hesitate to get undressed.

  I let her look her fill; let her really take in every inch of me. Hell, I’d done the same to her, wanted to do that again now.

  And when she lowered her gaze to my cock, her eyes widening slightly, I felt like a crude bastard for grabbing my dick and stroking myself. I liked her watching me, got off on her breathing changing because she was turned on.

  “Come here, Axel,” she said. I didn’t even think about not doing what she wanted. I gave my dick one last tug, this harsh sound leaving me.

  When I was right in front of her, she gazed up at me, a look of innocence written on her face.

  “What do you want?” she asked, this genuine curiosity laced with her arousal.

  I could have tried to be gentle, spouted poetic shit to make her blush. Instead I wanted her cheeks turning red because of the dirty fucking things I said to her.