Battlefield of the Heart

by E. A. West

  “Maybe, but I have more than the rest of you. I just hope I don’t harm anyone else.”

  What had Danny been through? Cindy wanted to give him a hug and maybe remove some of the sadness from his eyes, but she’d just met him — a meeting that had made the evening awkward enough already.

  “What about Lacey?” Corbin glanced at the group crowding the sidewalk. “Hey, does anyone know where Lacey is tonight?”

  “I think she had a date,” Alex said from behind them as the group parted to let a bicyclist through. “She mentioned something about someone named Matt.”

  “She skipped out on us for a date?” one of the others asked.

  “Hey, at least she’s going out with someone.”

  Corbin sobered, the teasing tone vanishing as quickly as it had come. “I hope it goes well for her. She deserves to enjoy herself.”

  What could cause him to look and sound so serious about a girl having a date? Cindy looked from Corbin to Danny and back, her curiosity flaring to life. “Who’s Lacey?”

  “Our lone female veteran,” Corbin said, his expression lightening. “You should talk to her for your paper. Get the female perspective.”

  “That would be cool.” New possibilities for the paper spread out before her.

  “You know, I don’t think anyone ever said what your paper is for,” Danny said.

  “Oh, I’m writing it for my sociology class. My professor spends a lot of time pointing out how the War on Terror has affected the way we live and the current state of the world. Lately, he’s started talking about the Department of Veterans Affairs and the issues it needs to deal with in order to provide services to the large numbers of veterans created by the war.”

  “Who’s your professor?”

  “Dr. Brixton.” A warm breeze blew a strand of hair in Cindy’s eyes, and she swatted it away as they turned onto the street leading toward the diner at the edge of campus.

  “You’re writing this paper for Brixton?” Alex asked.

  “Yeah, why?”

  “Josh was in the same company as his nephew.”

  “I should have remembered that.” She suddenly knew why Josh looked familiar.

  “What do you mean?” Corbin asked.

  “Dr. Brixton showed us a photo of his nephew and a couple of his friends. Josh was one of the friends.”

  “Does he know you’re writing the paper for Brixton?” Alex asked.

  Should she have told Josh who her professor was for before he offered to introduce her to the veterans group? “Not unless he knows Brixton teaches sociology. Why?”

  “I figure if he knew you were writing it for his buddy’s uncle, he might have decided to stay out of it so no one can accuse Brixton of playing favorites if you get a good grade.”

  She lifted an eyebrow. “If I get a good grade? Talk about a blow to my ego.”

  The guys laughed as they dodged around a trio of students talking on the sidewalk.

  She liked these guys and hoped she could develop friendships. With any luck, she could also meet Lacey. The way Alex and Corbin had talked about her made Cindy curious. Most people would consider it morbid curiosity, but she couldn’t help being interested in the human angle of war and all that went with it. If she could bring that down to a personal level, so much the better.

  Chapter Two

  When the group arrived at the diner just off campus, they took over a large table at the back and ordered a variety of drinks, from coffee to caffeinated soft drinks. The guys talked about life on campus, the stories interspersed with comments about things that had happened while they were deployed, and Cindy began to understand some of the difficulties they faced and why the veterans’ group was so important. They had experienced so many things while serving overseas that most people couldn’t understand, plus they were in the strange position of being older than most of the students on campus and trying to survive being full-time students while working full time. Some of them were raising families as well.

  They had been at the diner for about an hour when Danny gave Cindy a curious look. “Why were you going to the student union?”

  Talk about a sudden change of topic. “What?”

  “You were on your way to the student union, but it wasn’t for our meeting. Josh told me he’d never met you until just before he brought you to the meeting room.”

  She noticed the other guys watching her and smiled. It looked like they were just as curious about her as she was about them. “I was on my way to get a late dinner. I got a little distracted, though.”

  “You must be starving,” Alex said.

  “Not really. I forget meals on a regular basis, so I’m kind of used to it.”

  The guys looked doubtful, and Danny stood up. Cindy watched him walk away, and then she turned to Corbin. “Was it something I said?”

  “Nah, Danny just walks off sometimes,” he said as the others nodded their agreement. “He’ll be back.”

  The conversation drifted to other topics. As Cindy talked with Alex about her sociology class, she noticed a young woman walking toward them with the aid of a cane. She had burn scars on her left arm and hand as well as a few on the left side of her face and neck. Corbin grinned as the girl reached them.

  “Hey, Lacey, it’s about time you come find us. Where have you been?”

  “Out.” She glanced at Cindy, her expression hopeful. “Did we get another female vet?”

  “Nope,” Alex said as he shoved out a chair for her. “Cindy’s writing a paper on veterans in college. She’s hanging out with us as research.”

  Lacey nodded and sat down, leaning her cane against the table, then she smiled at Cindy. “I’m Lacey Garrett, the only female veteran in the group.”

  “I’m Cindy Waymire.” She tried to think of something else to say, but the only thing on her mind was wondering how Lacey had been burned and why she needed a cane.

  Corbin leaned forward, a teasing glint in his dark eyes. “So, Lacey, what’s this I hear about you abandoning us for some guy named Matt?”

  Color rose in Lacey’s cheeks as she spoke with a soft smile. “Yeah, he’s a nice guy. And he said he’ll make sure to avoid asking me out on a Tuesday night again so I won’t miss another meeting.”

  “Oh, so there’s definitely a second date?” Corbin said, raising his eyebrows with a grin.

  “Actually, it’ll be the fourth.”

  Alex laughed. “You’ve been holding out on us!”

  Lacey lifted her chin, her eyes sparkling and her expression one of superiority. “Of course. I have to keep some things a secret.”

  The other guys teased her, and Cindy felt like she was watching brothers pick on their sister. She didn’t have time to consider it further as Danny returned carrying a plate of chicken fingers and french fries. He set it in front of her, then sat down beside her and nodded at Lacey.

  “Hey, how’s Matt?”

  “Totally into me because I’m just so hot with a cane,” Lacey said with a grin.

  Danny laughed. “Oh, yeah. All the hottest chicks have canes.”

  Cindy was glad to see him in a better mood, but she couldn’t figure out the plate of food. “Hey, Danny, what’s this for?”

  “Your dinner. I made you forget to eat, so the least I can do is feed you now.”

  “You didn’t have to.” Her heart melted a little at the sweet gesture. She nudged the plate toward him. “Want any?”

  Lacey gave her a curious look. “What did he do to make you forget to eat?”

  Danny plucked a fry off the plate. “Introduced her to the wonderful world of flashbacks.”

  “I think I’m glad I missed that.” Lacey smiled at Cindy. “Don’t worry, he’s harmless most of the time.”

  “I already figured that out, but thanks.” As Cindy ate a fry of her own, she turned to Corbin. “You know, it just occurred to me to wonder how Josh knew you’d have a bandage for my wrist.”

  Corbin chuckled. “He knows I always carry a roll with me.”<
br />
  “Dare I ask why you carry it?” She prayed she wouldn’t hit on a touchy subject.

  “I have a bad ankle thanks to a mortar shell,” he said with a shrug. “The self-adhering elastic bandage helps support it, so I always carry it in case I need it.”

  “That makes sense.”

  Lacey raised her eyebrows. “You haven’t heard more than you want to know about everyone’s war wounds yet?”

  “No, should I have?”

  “Josh almost always asks the newbies about injuries, and that usually leads to a competition of who had the worst injury.”

  “Yeah, and you always win,” Alex said with a grin.

  Lacey rolled her eyes. “Hey, can I help it if I got lucky?”

  Even thinking about it for a moment didn’t help Cindy understand. “How is having the worst injury lucky?”

  Lacey gave her a serious look. “I’m alive. The people I was with aren’t. That’s lucky.”

  “Good point.” How should she handle the somber pall that had fallen over the group? She breathed a little easier when Alex and Corbin got the conversation going again. As the group talked, Cindy shared her dinner with Danny. Lacey stole a couple of fries, but no one else seemed interested in the plate of food.

  By the time they left the diner close to midnight, Cindy felt almost as comfortable with the veterans’ group as she did with the group of girlfriends she’d had since her freshman year. She also had a ton of ideas for her paper, too many for just the required five pages, but she’d rather have to narrow the focus than struggle to fill up the space.

  After a brief discussion on the sidewalk, Danny volunteered to walk Cindy to her dorm. A flutter of nerves attacked her as they headed away from the group, but something about Danny made her trust him.

  He gave her a questioning glance. “Which dorm do you live in?”

  “Wyatt Hall.”

  “That’s where I live. I’m on the second floor.”

  “I’m on the fourth,” Cindy said, feeling just as surprised as he looked. “How come I’ve never seen you there?”

  Danny shrugged. “I don’t spend a lot of time there, unless I’m in my room. And I never eat in the dining room. Mitchell Complex has much better food.”

  “I usually go to Wilson or the student union.”

  They walked quietly for a moment, and then he spoke again. “So, what’s your major?”

  “Sociology. I’m fascinated by the way society is shaped by events and the media.”

  “That explains why you’re so interested in veterans going to college.” A hint of a smile lifted the corners of his mouth. “You know, you don’t have to treat us like we’re going to break if you say the wrong thing. If we don’t want to talk about something, we’ll tell you. And if you hit on a sensitive topic, we’ll let you know that, too.”

  He’d noticed her hesitancy? Her cheeks burned, but she decided to be honest. “I just don’t want to do anything to bring up bad memories or cause a flashback like you had earlier.”

  He shifted his gaze to the dark horizon. “I already told you I’m a bit of a freak. Most of the guys don’t have flashbacks. Yeah, we all have things we wish we could forget, but remembering helps us deal with them. I had a psychiatrist tell me that thinking and talking about the things I witnessed will help the flashbacks lessen and maybe go away completely.”

  “Do you mind if I ask you a question?”

  “You can ask, but I don’t guarantee I’ll answer,” he said, then shot her a smile. “I probably will, though. You’ve been cool about everything so far.”

  “Well, I’m wondering about something Lacey mentioned. Why do you guys compare injuries when someone new comes into the group? That seems odd to me.”

  “I guess you could say it’s our way of dealing with what happened to us and to people we knew.” He sucked in a breath and scrubbed a hand across the back of his neck. “By turning the injuries into a competition with the worst ones being a kind of badge of honor, it helps us get over the trauma. The downside is that the discussions can get pretty gruesome, but talking about that stuff helps, too.”

  Movement across the street caught her attention. Two girls had their arms draped around each other as they stumbled along, and Cindy heard a snippet of slurred singing. Drunks on a Tuesday?

  Danny glanced at the girls and chuckled. “They sound happy.”

  “Yeah, like maybe they have liquid happiness flowing through them.”

  “I’d hate to be them in the morning, though.” Danny pretended to shudder. “Think of the hangover.”

  “Is it any wonder I don’t drink?”

  “Nope. I figure your reasons are just as valid as mine.”

  Cindy smiled and resisted the urge to touch his arm. He drew her like a magnet, but she didn’t know him that well yet. Her thoughts returned to the conversation the drunk girls had interrupted. “Has everyone in the veterans’ group been injured?”

  “To some extent, yeah.” Danny looked away and didn’t elaborate.

  Had she hit on a sore subject? Before she could think of a way to change the subject, he spoke again, keeping his gaze on the dark street ahead.

  “We all had sprains, strains, bruises, minor things like that. Corbin nearly got his foot blown off by a mortar round, Josh got shot while tending a guy in his unit, and Alex ended up with a nasty concussion from a bomb. Lacey had the worst injury.”

  “What happened?” Did she really want to know?

  “Her truck hit an IED.” Danny briefly looked into her eyes then did a quick scan of the surrounding buildings. “She’s the only one who survived, and she barely made it. She received a ton of burns, mostly over the lower half of her body, and she lost her left leg. There were some internal injuries, too, that required multiple surgeries.”

  Cindy blinked back tears of sympathy. “No wonder she said she’s lucky.”

  “Yeah.” Danny fell silent for several minutes, and she left him to his thoughts. They were about a block from the dorm when he spoke again. “You didn’t ask if I got injured.” He sounded almost disappointed.

  “Did you?”

  “I’ve had a mild concussion from a roadside bomb; been hit with shrapnel from mortars; got shot once, but my body armor stopped the bullet; and had multiple cuts and bruises from the day some anti-American protestors threw rocks, bottles, and whatever else they could find at us.” He stopped at the end of the walk leading up to the doors. “The worst is the psychological injury that’s still healing.”

  She hesitated, but then she remembered what he’d said about not treating him like he’d break. “What caused that?”

  “A lot of things, but I don’t want to talk about it right now.” He met her gaze with a wry expression. “I’d like to sleep with as few nightmares as possible tonight since I have a class in the morning.”

  They started up the walk, and she couldn’t resist asking one more question. “Do you have nightmares often?”

  “Every night.” He held the door for her and followed her inside. “Do you want me to walk you to your room?”

  “No, I’ll be okay. I forgot to say it earlier, but thanks for dinner.”

  “You’re welcome.” He glanced at her bandaged wrist. “It’s my turn to ask a question. Why aren’t you afraid of me? Most people would avoid me after I took them down for no reason, especially if I injured them.”

  Although still unsure herself, she told him what she’d been thinking for the last couple of hours. “I know you couldn’t help it. Besides, after spending all evening with you, I’ve figured out that you’re actually a pretty gentle person.”

  He chuckled, a rich sound that lifted her heart. “Gentle is not a word people generally associate with a solider suffering from severe post-traumatic stress disorder.”

  “Maybe not, but it’s what I see in you.”

  Chapter Three

  Cindy talked to Dr. Brixton about her idea for her paper, and he encouraged her to spend time with the veterans and learn what m
ade them different from the other students, as well as what made them similar. She left his office thinking about how to integrate his suggestions into her paper. Midday sun streamed through the window at the end of the hallway. Few students roamed the hall, since classes hadn’t let out yet, but she spotted Josh coming from the direction of the stairwell.

  He joined her with a smile. “Hey, Cindy. How did it go last night?”

  “Just fine. Alex said you usually go with them after the meetings.”

  “I do, but I had something else to do last night,” Josh said with a shrug. “And I’m guessing you have Dr. Brixton for sociology. I was in his nephew’s company, so I figured using me for your paper might be a conflict of interest.”

  “Alex thought that might be the case. But I finally figured out why you looked so familiar.”

  He raised his eyebrows. “Oh?”

  “Dr. Brixton showed us a picture of his nephew and a couple of his buddies. You were one of them.”

  Josh chuckled. “Chris will be happy when I tell him his uncle is bragging on him in class.”

  Dr. Brixton stepped into the hall and gave Josh a wide smile. “Ah, I thought I heard a familiar voice.”

  “Yeah, I was on my way to see you.” Josh held up a couple of pieces of paper. “I wanted to share Chris’s latest email with you.”

  “I appreciate it.” Dr. Brixton turned to Cindy. “Josh, here, is one of my favorite veterans. He saved my nephew’s life once.”

  Josh shifted his weight. “All I did was hook up an IV when he was dehydrated.”

  “So severely dehydrated he required treatment at a mobile hospital. Chris told me all about the incident, including how the doctors informed him that without the IV, he might not have made it to the hospital without suffering permanent damage.”

  Josh lowered his gaze, discomfort permeating his body language. “I just did my job.”

  Dr. Brixton laid a hand on his shoulder. “I know, son, and I’m proud of the job you did. Which is why I want to tell people about the way you helped my nephew.”

  Cindy didn’t understand the sudden downswing in Josh’s mood. He handed the printout to Dr. Brixton and excused himself, claiming a class in a little while. Cindy watched him leave and then turned to find her professor watching her.