by Amber Lacie
The way his hands roughly pulled at my clothes and body had me arching my back before his tongue even sank into me between my thighs. Shit.
My hands slid across his smooth scalp as I grabbed onto him. Another soft moan fell from my lips as my toes curled and I rode out a feeling of bliss. I could’ve stopped it right there. I could have ended everything, but I didn’t. Ben was like a poison seeping into me. He was exactly what I didn’t need, at exactly the wrong time. He was dangerous, edgy, and everything I wasn’t. I desperately wanted to be him.
My eyes were closed as I felt his wet, salty lips press against mine. Our tongues swirled, and the taste of sex filled my mouth. His hands slid up around my waist and he jerked my body towards him. I let out a soft yelp of excitement. He knew what he wanted, and he was taking it––without question.
Swallowing, I watched as he undid the top button on his jeans and pushed them lower on his hips. My tongue darted out across my lips as I waited, trying to anticipate his next move. Positioning himself between my legs, he pulled one leg over his shoulder before slamming into me. It was so deep I saw stars. Fuck. My fingers dug into his arms as he relentlessly tore into me. The sharp pain was mixed with pleasure, giving me a feeling I had never experienced before. This wasn’t love. This was fucking. I was on the edge of release when I felt him thrust into me moaning my name. As it fell from his lips, I fell into a circle of unending bliss.
My eyes finally opened, and I was greeted with bright green eyes. “Baby, you amaze me.”
Blinking my long lashes, my eyes became heavy. Not only was Ben still leaning over me, he was also in me. I knew the risk I had just taken, but it didn’t deter me. I was reveling in the danger of it all.
“God, you’re fucking beautiful. You crazy, crazy girl. You’re staying with me tonight.”
Nodding my head, I let my eyes close as I felt his body leave me. A warm blanket was placed on top of me and I fell into a deep sleep.
It’s amazing how one night everything can change. I was Ben’s girl. Anytime I was with him, everyone knew who I was. No one could talk to me without his permission. When we were together he constantly had to touch me, and I relished in it. Everything was different around him. He had power and control over everything around him. With one word, he could lift the weight off my shoulders. I wasn’t worried about school, managing the bills, juggling part orders, or taking care of my dad. Any time I saw him, he would utter Gemini, and I knew everything would be taken care of.
Though, it wasn’t just his words that demanded respect from others, it was his body language. The way he held himself in a crowd, or could bring someone to their knees with a glare was unreal. He exuded power, and I loved every bit of it. Over time, I came to understand why Daniel was so drawn to him. Everything came easy to Ben and his danger was alluring. He was a king and I was his queen.
Andrea hung out with us at first, but she didn’t like the way he seemed to possess me. She didn’t understand that I was letting him. He never forced himself on me. I didn’t want control over my life anymore. The pain of losing Daniel always loomed around me, except when I was with Ben. Maybe I didn’t face reality like I should have, but Ben was fun. The drinks never bothered me, but I wasn’t stupid––I knew he was still dealing. It wasn’t heavy drugs, or at least I didn’t think it was. Out of sight, out of mind. I was only focused on the way he made me feel.
Andrea and I were supposed to meet for breakfast that morning, but she had sent me a text saying she was running late. My dad was busy working in the garage, so I decided to wait inside, so I didn’t have to explain myself again. He had taken a sudden interest in my life. Too little, too late.
After double-checking the overnight bag I had packed, I checked the time again on my phone. It was just after eight when I spotted her car turn into the drive. I ran outside, ignoring the monkey with a wrench in the garage. I was still pissed at him for everything he had done, or in my case, didn’t do. My feet itched to run from him, to run from everything, but I stayed. Between Ben and Andrea, I was anchored.
Dropping my bag into the trunk, I opened the passenger door and slid in. “Hey.”
“Sorry. I couldn’t get out of the house today without my mom following me around every turn.”
I watched as she tried to fix her eyeliner in the mirror. A tinge of jealousy stung my skin. Andrea was one of the people who didn’t need to try to be beautiful, she just was. Her hair and makeup were always perfectly done. I often found myself wondering how she knew what to do. I was awful at trying to do my own makeup, and she was constantly fixing mine. Is that something a mom would teach you? Maybe a sister? Either way, I wouldn’t know. “Why? What’s her deal?”
“She says she misses me.”
I didn’t know if her mom was lying, or if that was something a real parent would do. All I knew was that I wasn’t missed, and I doubt Daniel was, either.
“Breakfast, right?” I asked.
“Yes, your highness, I’m going to feed you. I thought we could grab some donuts. Make it easy?”
“That’s fine with me. You’re driving.”
“Drive-thru cool? I don’t know how much time I have.”
“Sure.”
Our conversations were always short lately. I knew she loved me, I knew she was my best friend, but I also knew I was pushing her away. The problem was I couldn’t stop it.
Once we pulled through the drive-thru, she handed me my donut and a cup of coffee. The drive was quiet on the way to school. Normally, she would just drop me off, but this time she circled until she could find a place to park.
“I need to tell you something, but I need to get it all out at once. You’re going to be mad, but it is what it is.” Andrea pulled the keys from the ignition and turned to face me. “Okay?”
“Okay.”
“Right––well, I think you’re spending too much time with Ben. He’s fun, I get it. Maybe you’re drawn to the danger or whatever, but you’re going to get hurt. I can’t keep helping you get to him. This is the last time I’m bringing you here, or to him. He’s not good for you. I can’t stand by you and not say anything.”
“How can you not see what he does for me?”
“How can you not see what I do for you? I’m your friend. Please, Arlo—”
“Please, what, Andrea? Please, stop talking to him? Please, only be friends with me? Please, what exactly? If you think I’m going to walk away from him because you have a bad feeling, you’re wrong. I feel something when I’m with him. I don’t care if it’s bad. I feel. If you don’t understand that, maybe it’s best if we take some time apart.”
Her finger pressed a button, and the sound of the trunk opening clicked behind me. “Just go.”
The hurt on her face didn’t register with me like it should have. I was too mad to care about anyone else. All I wanted was to be loved, protected, and to be happy. That’s how I felt with Ben. Without another word, I stepped out of her car and grabbed my bag from the trunk. I didn’t look back. I walked towards my class, knowing I had probably ruined our friendship, but I was too proud to admit it. It didn’t matter. In a few hours, I would be with Ben and everything would be better.
Biting my bottom lip, I tried to hide the grin spreading across my face as I watched Ben pull up along the curb. Class had finished early, so I was reading a book on the bench. The girls sitting on the edge of the grass beside me started whispering as he stepped out of his car. I knew what they were looking at. Ben was gorgeous. He had the bad boy charm and they were drawn to him, just like me. The only difference was he was with me and not them.
Tossing my book in my bag, I jumped up, and tossed it to Ben for him to put in the backseat. Turning over my shoulder I gave them a snarky glare as he wrapped his arm around my waist. “Those girls are watching you.”
He let out a soft chuckle. “Nah. They’re looking at my car.”
“Doesn’t matter. It’s your car. They’re looking at you, and I don’t like it.”
&nb
sp; A hot kiss seared my skin just below my ear as he pulled me closer to him. I could feel him harden against my stomach as our lips crashed into each other. Fuck. Me. At the touch of his fingers I would melt. “Are you jealous, baby?”
“No…maybe…I don’t know. I just don’t want them looking at you.”
“You’re making me hard. You realize this, don’t you? Fuck, you’re sexy when you’re mad.”
“I’m not mad. Can we go?” I’m not mad. It was a complete and utter lie. Of course, I was mad. He knew what he was doing by kissing me like that. He was showing off.
Grasping my face in both of his hands, he pressed a soft kiss against my lips. “Don’t be mad. We can go. I need to get you home before my dick explodes in my pants.”
Laughing, I shook my head as I slide into my seat. “That’s sexy.”
“You’re sexy.”
Rolling my eyes at his response, I shut my door. The girls were now watching us in awe as he walked around the car. You can look, but you can’t touch. He’s mine. A chip formed on my shoulder as we drove back to his apartment. It wasn’t directed at him, or anyone in particular. The day had worn on me and I had let it get to me.
Once we were inside, Ben put my bag in the bedroom, before wrapping both of his arms around me. “You have too many clothes on.”
“I just got here.”
“And I’ve been dying all day just to touch you.” The smell of his cologne filled my senses as his strong hands started slowly removing my clothes. Soft kisses followed each of his movements. The buildup was always slow. He would take his time, making sure my whole body was aware of him, and then he would attack me like a wild animal. I loved every single minute of it.
“Now, you have me. What are you going to do with me?”
“This.” Lifting me up, he tossed me over his shoulder and carried me into the bedroom. We were almost to the bed when he tripped over some laundry, sending us both crashing onto the mattress.
Laughing, I pushed myself up farther on the bed. “You should clean your room?”
“What? Why? It’s not messy.”
“I think we have different ideas of what the word clean means.”
“Nah, I never said it was clean. I said it’s not messy. Besides, I’m not picking up anything when I have you sprawled across my bed. The only thing I’m interested in doing is making you scream.” Swallowing, I watched while he reached up the bed. His arms grabbed my ankles and pulled me back down towards him. “You’re the best part of my day and I’m going to enjoy it.”
Whenever he said things like that I would push the bad stuff to the back of my mind. Whispers in the background at parties, the odd errands he had to run during the day, the way people would move when he walked in a room…it would all fade to black. None of it mattered when he touched me.
Long, strong fingers traced the inside of my legs, slowly creeping up towards the only piece of clothing I had left on me. “These will need to go. I love it when you don’t wear a bra. It’s less work for me.”
“Whatever makes it easier for you.” I didn’t do it for him. The top I was wearing earlier was backless.
“Tell me you want me.”
“I want you.”
“Only me?” Green eyes stared up at me as he dragged the lace down my legs, slowly slipping my feet from their entrapment.
“Just you. Only you. Never anyone else.”
“Good girl.” The way he said those words would steal my breath.
A soft moan fell around us as his tongue licked up my center, sucking my clit into his mouth. The way he used his fingers at the same time and the occasional nibble had my hips rocking against his face.
“Shit.” Gripping his shoulders, I held him down between my legs. The vibration of his moans against my body had me on edge. With one flick of his tongue I was crashing over the side, drowning in my own orgasm.
“Fuck, baby. I love when you come on my mouth.”
Heat blushed against my already rosy cheeks. The dirty things he said always sounded so naughty. It never worked when I tried it. Everything sounded awkward and I would just end up giggling.
Spreading my legs far apart, he held his palms flat against my thighs. He loved to watch himself as he fucked me, and I loved watching him doing it. Long, slow, thought out strokes rubbed against my core. My hips flexed trying to grind back against him, but with my legs being pinned, I wasn’t able to control my movements as precisely as I wanted.
“Ben––please, faster.”
“Like this?” His strokes quickened, and my eyes closed with a soft moan.
“Fuck me! Harder! Fucking harder!” Lights flashed behind my eyelids as he slammed into me. Deep. Hard. Fast. It was rough. Our bodies were damp with sweat, and my fingers twisted in the covers as my nickname fell from his mouth.
“Gemini.”
My eyes opened to a grinning mouth, and just as pleased green eyes staring back at me. “You make everything better.” STOP. TRIP. START. My heart stumbled over my words. I was so lost in the moment I didn’t even realize I said them until I saw the reaction on his face. He wasn’t mad. It was like his eyes became brighter.
“I try.” Soft lips pressed against my forehead as he leaned down over me. “Now, what should I feed you before we go out tonight. Do you want to go somewhere?”
“No. I just want to stay in bed. Can you feed me in bed?”
“I’ll feed you anywhere you want, just tell me what to order?”
“Tacos.”
Leaning back on his legs, he let out a laugh as he questioned me, “Tacos? In bed?”
“You said anything.”
“I did. Don’t worry. I’ll have Jim bring us tacos.” Just like that, the moment of it just being us was over. The mere mention of Jim grounded me just enough for me to realize he was still dangerous. I ignored the feeling in the pit of my stomach, and rolled over to take a nap as he got dressed. I didn’t ask where he was going because I wouldn’t have liked the answer.
“Behave. I’ll be back.”
Nodding my head, I watched as he walked from the room, his jeans still unbuttoned, loosely hanging around his hips. Part of me wished he never wore a shirt. I love seeing him like that. The door clicked, and I closed my eyes. The odd part of all of this was the eyes that often showed up in my dreams weren’t green at all. They were hazel, and the last I’d heard, they were still in California.
The next few weeks were more of the same. Ben would leave to run some errands. I would run home, wash laundry and then pack another bag. My days consisted of driving to class, work, and then I would go to Ben’s. At night, we would head out to another party.
This particular night, the party was farther out of the city, on the north side, near the beach. I was packing a bag, so I could head there after class, when there was a knock on my bedroom door. Opening my door, I gave my dad half a smile as he watched me pack.
“Going out again?”
“Yep.”
“I was hoping we could do something together.”
“Isn’t it a little late to act like you’re my friend? You kicked Daniel out. You ostracized me when I helped him. He’s been gone for months, with not one word of a comfort from you since his funeral, and now you want to do something with me? It’s too late. I found someone else to do something with.”
Where was he when we were kids? Why was I the one always looking out for him? I was too angry to ask him the questions that ached in my soul, so I grabbed my bag and took off out of the house. My feet hit the driveway before I realized I forgot the keys to the truck. Kicking myself in the ass, I walked back up to the door. I tried to open it, but he had already locked it. Just fucking great.
Pulling out my phone I sent a text to my boss to let him know I wouldn’t be in. I lied and told him I was having car trouble. He didn’t need to know the problem was me not having a car. Closing my eyes, I sent a wish up to the clouds. I needed Andrea’s help, and I wasn’t sure she would be there for me. I had been an absolute
bitch to her. The last time we fought about Ben, I ended up taking his side. A sigh of relief fell from my lips when I texted her and she instantly responded, agreeing to come get me. Maybe she had forgiven me.
Dropping my bag at the end of the driveway, I plopped down on top of it while I waited for her. I could hear my dad messing around in the garage, but I refused to look back. He locked me out and to me that meant we were done. It’s how he always reacted to things. If he couldn’t see the problem, it didn’t exist. The problem was––Daniel did exist, and he did nothing for him. Now he was doing the same for me. Fuck him.
Andrea pulled up and I hopped in the front passenger seat, tossing my bag into the back. “He locked me out.”
Sighing, Andrea turned around and headed back onto the street. “Why?”
“Because I yelled at him. I told him it’s too late for us to talk. He pushed Daniel away and when I needed him, he ignored me. I can’t go back there.” Sniffing, I wiped my nose with the back of my hand. “I hate him.”
“Okay, sweetie. You don’t have to go back. Come stay with me. My mom loves you.”
“Thanks, but I just want Ben.”
“Right. You always want him. How long do you think it’s gonna be before he’s in jail? How long do you think you have until he drags you down with him?”
“Why would you think Ben is going to jail? What did you do?”
Gripping the steering wheel, Andrea pulled into an empty lot and slammed the car into park. “Pull your head out of your fucking ass, Arlo. He’s a fucking drug dealer.”
“He just dabbles. It’s no big deal.”
“Are you that fucking blind? He has a brand-new apartment, a car most people would kill for, and his friends fear him. There is way more than you think going on at those parties. Pay attention! Wake the fuck up! Or do you want to end up just like Daniel?”