by Reese Ryan
He tore his mouth from hers and grabbed her wrist. “Fuck, I’m not gonna last much longer if you keep doing that.”
She smirked, her tongue darting out to lick her kiss-swollen lips. “Maybe I don’t want you to last much longer.”
There was something in his eyes that looked almost wild. It was thrilling, unnerving, the fucking hottest thing she’d ever seen. A searing sensation followed his hungry eyes, like a ray burning her skin, sending heat to her core, intensifying her desire.
* * *
Miles stood there, blinking, his dick hard as steel in her hand. What the fuck was wrong with him? From the moment he’d laid eyes on her he’d turned into some kind of animal, wanting to rip the clothing from her soft, warm body and plunge deep inside of her, taking her raw. The overwhelming need to feel her tight heat, skin to skin, commandeered his brain. It was official; the head on his shoulders was no longer in control. He grasped his shaft and pressed the head against her. The intense sensation of his hypersensitive flesh grazing her wet heat with nothing between them was intoxicating, making his entire body tremble slightly. He thrust his hips forward.
“Miles, no.” Her urgent plea brought him out of his crazed state. Her body was tense, her eyes wide. “We can’t.”
“God, I’m...I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I lost it for a minute.” He pressed his hand to his forehead, backing away from her.
“It’s okay.” She edged toward him, reaching for his hand. “It wasn’t just you. I wanted it, too.” She sighed. “I don’t have many rules, but that’s a hard and fast one.”
“And it’s a good one, I just...” He sighed. “I don’t know what it is about you. I lost my head, but I’m good now.” He leaned down and kissed her forehead. “It won’t happen again, not unless we both decide we want it. Preferably when we’re both dressed and not incredibly hot for each other.”
There was something about her that made him lose his head. Something he couldn’t explain. That was what he’d said about Evie. She pressed her lips into a tight smile and tried to shake off the chill running down her spine. “Good plan. In the meantime, let’s continue this. Can you grab my bag?”
She grabbed her clothing off the floor and followed Miles up the stairs. But she couldn’t shake the thought that maybe she was a lot more like his dead girlfriend than she wanted to admit.
* * *
Miles awoke the next morning, tangled in the sheet, with Jamie lying next to him. Her hair splayed on the pillow, her limbs pointing in four different directions. The girl was a wild sleeper. He expected to wake up one night laid out on the floor with a black eye. He smiled. It’d be worth it.
He eased out of bed and slipped into his boxers and robe before heading down to his home office. It was only seven-thirty in the morning. Jamie didn’t have to be at work until three in the afternoon, so she wouldn’t be in any hurry to get up.
Miles pulled up a project he’d been working on with a potential client—a startup company poised to make a major splash in tech. The CEO, Lisa Melon, had been referred by his father. His gut reaction had been to decline the project, but it wasn’t his company. It would’ve been foolish for him to turn down a potentially lucrative account just to give his father the finger.
Kari still talked to their father, but Miles hadn’t spoken to him in years. In fact, they’d probably had exactly five conversations since Roger Copeland had paid his last tuition check. Miles hadn’t wanted anything from him—including his tuition—but his mother had insisted that he would at least be a father with his wallet if he couldn’t be one with his heart.
So instead of turning Lisa Melon away, he would give her the best damned ad campaign proposal she’d ever seen. She could take that back to his father.
“Whatcha doin?” Jamie poked her head in the door. She was wearing one of his old golf T-shirts. Her feet shuffled across the floor in his slippers, too big for her feet.
She was fucking adorable. He let his eyes roam from her feet, up those legs and...
“Hey, eyes up here, buddy.” Jamie formed a V with two fingers and pointed them at her eyes. She leaned forward and whispered in his ear. “At least for now.”
He laughed, pulling her onto his lap and kissing her.
“You didn’t answer my question.”
“It’s an ad proposal for a client my father referred to us.”
“I thought you didn’t speak to your father.”
“I don’t,” he said then looked away. “But that hasn’t stopped him from talking me up to his friends.”
She cocked her head to one side. “Does it upset you?”
Miles shrugged. “He’s free to do whatever the hell he wants. He always has anyway.”
Jamie traced his mouth with her fingers, her eyes studying his. “Why do I get the feeling you’re not being completely honest?”
He held her wrists, his gaze focused intently on hers. “I am.”
She bit her lip then struggled to her feet, wandering to the other side of the room. Her fingers glided across the spines of the books that lined the shelves.
“You aren’t still angry with me because I...because I didn’t tell you my mother and sister were here?” He stood in front of her.
“You made the right decision. I’m sorry I blew it by showing up here unannounced because—”
“Because you thought I was cheating on you. With my sister.” He wrinkled his nose like he smelled Limburger cheese and shuddered, pulling her to him.
“Shut up.” She punched him lightly in his bicep.
“Wait.” Miles pulled back, his hands on her shoulders. “Why do you say I made the right decision?”
She slipped from his grasp and settled onto the sofa. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about what happened at the café, when you said—”
“That I’m falling in love with you?” He raised an eyebrow cautiously as he sank into the cushion next to her. Something in his gut felt uneasy.
“That’s...that’s not what you said that day,” she stammered, eyes wide. She seemed startled by hearing the words, simple and plain.
“But we both know that’s what I meant,” he said, his voice lower. His gut was a jumble of nerves as his eyes searched hers. “So I’m saying it now. I’m in love with you, Jamie Charles.”
Slipping her fingers through her hair, she twisted a chunk around her fingers and lowered her gaze. “I’m very fond of you. I just don’t know if I—”
Miles placed his hand on her forearm. “I don’t expect you to feel the way I do right now. That’s not how love works.”
“This isn’t just about right now. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say it, because I’ve never felt that way about anyone.”
The pain that etched her delicate features mirrored the pain he felt, like glass exploding in his chest, shards piercing every internal organ. He broke her gaze for a moment, his mother’s voice echoing in his head. I know you think she loves you. But before you commit to her, make sure of it. He pressed his fingers to his temple. “I know this is all new territory for you, that you’re afrai—”
“I’m not afraid.” Jamie shot to her feet and paced the floor. “I just don’t know and I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.”
“What wrong idea? That you care for me? That you want to be with me and only me?” Voice strained, muscles tense, Miles closed the space between them, his heart racing. He didn’t believe what she was saying, not any of it. She was afraid. Terrified of giving her heart to someone, of being loved so completely by another person. Or was he just fooling himself? He placed his hands on her shoulders, searching her face, desperate to see the truth there. “I don’t have the wrong idea about that, and neither do you. So what’s really wrong?”
She lowered her gaze, her shoulders sinking beneath his fingers. “You’re amazing. This has been amazing, but I don’t know if we want the same thing. We both know that never works.”
“Why? Because everyone else says so? Fuck ‘em. It doesn’t matt
er what other people think.”
“Not even when they’re the people who love you and want what’s best for you?”
“Did my sister say something to you at lunch the other day?”
She averted her gaze and bit her lip.
“She did, didn’t she? Is that what this is about?”
“All she did was point out what I already knew—that we needed to have this conversation.” Jamie folded her arms and gazed at her feet. “She didn’t discourage me from being with you, but she did ask me to be honest, and that’s what I’m trying to do. I don’t want to hurt you the way Evie di—”
“She told you about Evie, too?” Heat spread the length of his neck and across his cheeks. Fists clenched at his sides, he gritted his teeth. Wait until I talk to that little brat. “She had no right to do that.”
“You’re right, she shouldn’t have told me. And I know it was my idea not to talk about our exes. But now that I know, I’d really like to hear it from you.”
He sunk into the ottoman, dragging his palm across his forehead. “It’s not something I like to talk about.”
“I know, and I’m sorry to bring all this up, but the thing is...I do care about you, and I don’t want to cause you any more pain. If we’re going to continue this, you have to take it for what it is. I can’t give you my heart, so it’s not fair for me to take a space in yours.”
Miles laughed bitterly, unable to look at her. “You have no problem sharing every inch of your body, but you can’t spare a tiny space in your heart for me. And I’m supposed to be okay with that? I mean, I could get a great fuck anywhere. That’s not what I’m after here, Jamie. I don’t think you are either.”
“Don’t presume to tell me what it is that I want!” Her green eyes narrowed, lips pursed, body trembling. His first impulse was to take her in his arms and apologize. But he couldn’t give in to her on this. She was just afraid. He could help her through it. “And let’s be honest. Maybe you think you’re in love with me now, but I don’t think it was your heart that was attracted to me that night. I’m pretty sure you were thinking with your other head.”
So sue him. He was a red-blooded male. “Of course I’m physically attracted to you. What’s the big deal?”
“You weren’t attracted to me. I just reminded you of her.” She stood with her back against the wall, arms crossed. Her breathing heavy, like she’d taken a swing at him in a boxing ring. She might as well have, because her words hit him like an unexpected left hook.
“Jamie—”
“Kari said I favor her, but I need to hear it from you.”
Miles shifted on the ottoman, not speaking. Not knowing what to say to her. He forced his eyes to meet hers, a silent apology.
She heaved a sigh. “Look, it’s okay. I reminded you of your dead girlfriend. And maybe it was your chance to, I don’t know, see how the other half lives. And that’s fine. Maybe I wanted to do the same. But let’s not make this into some fairy-tale romance, alright? Let’s just be honest about—”
“How many times do I have to tell you? I am being honest about how I feel about you. You should try it sometime. It beats the hell out of pretending like you don’t have feelings for twenty years.” Jamie’s face crumpled, and he immediately regretted his words. He leaped to his feet and reached for her arm. “Baby, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”
“Yes, you fucking did.” She yanked her arm from his grasp and headed for the door. “But at least now you’re being honest.”
Miles grabbed her elbow again. “Dammit, Jamie, would you just listen for a sec?”
“No, you listen.” She shoved her hands into his chest, taking him off guard. He stumbled a few steps backward. “This has been about two things. Great sex and a little fun. That’s all. I was completely up-front about it from the beginning. Maybe we both got a little caught up in this, but nothing’s changed. Can’t we just enjoy this for what it is?”
They were both angry. But none of that changed the fact that he didn’t want her to walk out that door.
He grabbed her and crushed his mouth against hers. Despite her initial protests, her struggling subsided and she pressed her fingers into his back.
Maybe if she wouldn’t listen to the words coming from his heart, she would understand what his body was saying to hers. That he wanted her, loved her, would protect her. No matter what.
Miles lifted her onto the couch, the weight of his body pressed against hers. There was aggression in their kisses. He wanted to taste her, to feel her skin against his. He was disappointed that the discussion had disintegrated into angry makeup sex. Yet his desire for her was too powerful to deny.
He yanked his golf shirt over her head, covering her pebbled tip with his mouth. She squirmed beneath his touch, her belly tense with anticipation as he glided his hand down it and slipped it beneath the band of her black lace panties.
She was so wet and warm. Ready for him. He grazed her taut nipple with his teeth and she inhaled sharply, her back arching. Slipping his fingers inside her, he trailed kisses down her stomach. She raised her hips, allowing him to remove the tiny scrap of fabric that was the final barrier between their physical connection. He licked his lips at the sight of her sex, swollen with desire, slick with lust. She desired him, her craving for him as intense as his hunger for her. His tongue darted out and he ran it along her swollen bud. She purred, tangling her hands in his hair and spreading her thighs wider. She was inviting him, no, begging him to taste more of her.
Plunging his fingers inside her again, he pleasured her with his tongue, relishing each delicious moan. He delighted in the power he had over her, even if it was only for the moment.
His shaft hardened in response to her sighs and moans, the scent of her arousal, the urgency with which she murmured his name. He ached to be inside her, her warmth surrounding him. She’d insisted that what they had was strictly physical. Well, he’d gladly fuck her six ways to Sunday, and then back again. He’d fuck her until she was finally ready to admit that she belonged to him, every glorious inch of her. Until she understood that he wanted her more than he’d ever wanted anyone or anything. Until she felt the same.
Her walls clenched around his fingers, her body tensing until she begged him to stop.
“Why? After all, this is just about great sex, right? That’s what I’m trying to do here.” He winced, his jaw tight. The words tasted bitter on his tongue. He bit back the bile rising in his throat.
“I appreciate it. Believe me,” she said between gasps. “But I need a minute to catch my breath.”
Lifting himself on his elbow, his gaze locked onto hers. “Then I’ll wait for you until you’re ready.”
Her eyes widened with recognition. She laid back, her gaze on the ceiling. “Sex and love are two different things. Don’t try to make it that simple.”
“But it is that simple.” He ran his fingers through her hair then rested a hand on her cheek. “I care about you. I want to be with you, and only you. And I know you feel the same way about me. You’re just afraid to admit it. Of being vulnerable.”
“I can’t stop being who I am.” Her tone was abrupt, but her voice was shaky and her hands trembled. “I can’t pretend to love you—”
“I’d never ask you to do that,” he whispered, pressing his hand to her heart. His eyes searched hers. “All I’m asking is that you let me in here.”
Biting her lip, she averted her gaze before finally returning it to his. She choked out her response, eyes filled with uncertainty and perhaps pain. “Even if it hurts?”
“Especially then.”
He made love to her, their bodies melding. He only hoped he could eventually have the same effect on her heart.
Chapter Twenty-Three
Jamie settled into bed after a busy day at the bar. She’d almost fallen asleep when the phone rang. It took a few minutes for it to register that it wasn’t a dream. She glanced at the phone. The number wasn’t familiar. If it was the wrong number at 3 freaking a.
m., she was gonna give someone a piece of her mind that would be epic. “Yes?” she said in a tone that was synonymous with What the fuck do you want?
“Ms. Charles?”
“Yes. Who is this?”
“This is Mae Nelson. I’m a nurse here at Cuyahoga General Hospital. I’m calling because your mother—”
“Ellie?”
“No...” The woman paused. Jamie could hear papers rustling. “No,” she said again. “I’m calling about Josephine Charles. She is your mother, isn’t she?”
Jamie swallowed. She took a few seconds longer to answer than the question should’ve required. “Yes. I’m her daughter. What is it? What has she done now?”
“I’m sorry to tell you, ma’am, but your mother was rushed to the hospital. Someone dropped her off here and left her. He gave one of the nurses your card and said you were her daughter.”
Jamie sat up, dragging her fingers through her hair so roughly she scraped some skin off her scalp. “What’s wrong with her?”
There was an uncomfortable pause. “It appears to be a drug overdose. Right now she’s unconscious. But I wanted to let you know where she was. I’m sure she’d like to see a familiar face when she wakes.”
Jamie bit the inside of her cheek, the coppery taste of blood filling her mouth. Nostrils flared, her breathing came harder. A vein in her forehead pulsed. She fucking knew it the moment she laid eyes on Jo. How could she be so gullible, believing for a second that Jo had changed, that she could change? She slammed her fist against the headboard. Shaking her head in response, she rocked back and forth. “No, I don’t think she would.”
“What do you—”
“I appreciate you calling, but ours is not that kind of relationship,” Jamie seethed. “I really don’t know who you should call.”