Hard Focus (BAE Book 1)

by Vic Tyler

  “Oh, by the way, my guy went through her files for insurance and found this.”

  Grant tossed a USB drive onto my desk. I picked it up and raised a brow at him.

  “You weren’t excluded from her arsenal.”

  Jesus, that bitch. I cursed and tossed it back to him.

  “Nuke it,” I gritted. “No fucking way I’m thanking her after that.”

  He grimaced. “I’ll just send some flowers and a giftcard to her agency.”

  “For the best.”

  The relief of dealing with Cooper and Janessa hung in the air between us, and we basked in it for a couple minutes.

  “Before I leave,” I said slowly. “I want to visit Martin’s grave.”

  I wasn’t looking at him, but I knew Grant’s expression was quizzical. After all, this was the first time I mentioned him of my own accord.

  “I want to tell him about how far I’ve come.”

  I wasn’t big on talking to gravestones, but it felt like the least I could do after everything.

  “I’m sure he’d like that.” Grant’s voice was softened by his smile.

  “Come with me,” I said, turning to look at him.

  He looked out the window, completely still for a bit before shaking his head.

  There were no words needed. Both of us had a deep connection with Martin, but I was the only one who had come the closest to resolving my situation with my old mentor. Maybe one day we would be able to visit him together, but it was fine if it wasn’t anytime soon.

  “How’s Cheddar?”

  Grant raised a brow at me. “You’ve seen her.”

  “Yeah, she’s even peppier than before. It’s getting annoying,” I grumbled. “But I wasn’t actually asking about her. How are things between you and Cheddar?”

  He picked at some invisible dust on his chair. “Same old.”

  “And with the rest of her family?”

  “Same old.”

  “That black eye doesn’t seem ‘same old.’”

  Although Grant covered it up pretty well with the help of some makeup artists I asked, the black and purple bruise Brie’s brother dealt him was no joke. I had heard they used to be best friends, but now they never exchanged a word, even in each others’ presence. I didn’t know what happened, but if Grant didn’t talk about it, he didn’t want to talk about it.

  He exhaled, rubbing his jaw. “Same old, minus the bruise.”

  Then, as is Grant’s fashion, he slapped on his big million-dollar smile. Ah, yupp, there it was. The end of this conversation.

  “Time for me to get back to work,” he said, getting up and adjusting his silver striped Givenchy suit. He waggled his finger at me, mockingly. “Now, don’t be slacking off. You’ve already incurred 69% more expenses this year than all your previous years. Combined. And you closed the studio for six days and opened late nine times. That’s six and nine more than all your other years working here. Combined. You know, I’m starting to think you’re not serious about your job.”

  I scowled. “Stop harassing me, you dirty old man.”

  “I’m not making up the numbers.” Grant shrugged. “Alright, the expenses were only about 55% so I’m rounding up. But for your attendance. Well. Got it all down in the system. You can check for yourself.”

  “What the hell? What system?”

  “Oh, right. I guess it’s more like my secretary taking a tally of when you’re playing hooky from the CCTV. She thought I was harassing her by making her watch porn. Can you believe it?”

  Grant cackled as he ducked from the flying mouse aimed at his head.

  “There’s only one camera pointed at the entrance,” I gritted.

  “Uh huh,” Grant said, wiggling his brows before disappearing behind the door.

  I collapsed back into my chair, inhaling and exhaling deeply. The days Grant stopped by were draining.

  The door creaked open. Goddammit, did Grant forget something? His wallet? His carefully manicured manners?

  “I swear to God, I’m going to chuck my monitor at you, and this time I’m not going to miss.”

  “Nice, I guess I’ll finally have my own desktop setup.” Maria bent down, picking up the forgotten mouse.

  Even though she told Grant she was quitting immediately, she agreed to stay for two weeks. It didn’t take long to convince her, especially when I spent most of that time with my head between her luscious thighs.

  “Jesus, I thought you were Grant,” I groaned, rubbing my eyes.

  Maria’s footsteps got closer and then I felt her legs slide up beside me before she sat her pretty little butt on my lap.

  “I prefer when you straddle me without any clothes on,” I murmured, squeezing a handful of her ass.

  “Nuh uh,” she whispered. “We’ve got a meeting in twenty minutes. The AD sent an email just now, and I wanted to make sure you checked it.”

  I grabbed my phone, and as soon as I unlocked it, Maria snatched it.

  “What’s this?” Her eyes widened as she showed me the background.

  Dammit. The cello picture.

  Her hand shot out of my reach. Shit, I thought I was fast.

  “Give that back, sweetheart,” I growled.

  Maria raised her brow. “I think I’m entitled to an explanation about a picture of me.”

  “I just happen to like it.”

  “If you wanted more pictures of me, you only had to ask.”

  “I have plenty to choose from.”

  “What?” Oh, crap. “What pictures?”

  I sighed, running my hand through my hair. This was a mess of a day. “Pictures I’ve saved from location shoots. And the camping trip.”

  “Oh,” Maria said thoughtfully. “Makes sense. Except this was from neither.”

  She motioned to the phone.

  “Alright,” I growled. “I took a few — sometimes — when I felt like it. When the moment hit me, and I wanted to remember it.”

  Maria smiled, putting my phone on the desk. She leaned to kiss me.

  “Alright,” she whispered. “I saved pictures of you too.”

  “Ugh, like that picture of me sleeping?”

  She laughed while I groaned.

  “I did have a question for you though,” she said, cocking her head.

  I grunted in response.

  “The whole safeword thing. You said you never used it before.”

  “Nope,” I said, leaning back. The chair wobbled, and Maria yelped as she fell onto me. “All the other times I’ve had sex were pretty vanilla. I never even thought about needing a safeword.”

  Maria’s face filled my vision, those sparkling chocolate eyes narrowing under her frown.

  “But you wanted to establish one before we even slept together.”

  My hand snaked up her neck, and I pushed her face into mine. Her soft, warm lips were deliciously plump.

  “I wanted you so bad that I was scared I was going to hurt you,” I murmured.

  “I’m pretty sturdy.” Maria’s lips turned up, her smile participating in our lip lock.

  “Prove it,” I whispered, grabbing her ass as I stood up and laid her on my desk. “You said twenty minutes?”

  “Fifteen now.” Maria’s eyes were hooded with desire, her face flushed, and her glistening pink lips parted.

  “Then let’s get started.”

  EPILOGUE

  Everything - Michael Bublé

  Maria,

  Got off the plane in one piece. It’s hot already. Wish you were here Wish you were here.

  Benji

  Maria,

  Hey. This is pretty awkward. I never wrote letters before.

  It’s pretty amazing here. I wish you could see it. It’s green everywhere. And wet. Pretty sure I touched poison ivy or something.

  Tell me more about what you’re up to.

  Love,

  BR

  Hey Maria,

  I’m pretty sure I can just email you now, but you seem to like the letters so I’ll continue. It�
��s hard to think of stuff to write.

  I’m glad you like your new job. I’ll try to call you soon so I can hear more about it. Let me know if anyone hits on you bothers you.

  The villagers here keep poking at me. I think they’re starting to accept me. Never tried this hard to be liked. Except with you.

  They keep making fun of this tall white man in a jungle where he’s got no business to be. Even I’m starting to think I’m a freak.

  Freaky B

  Dear Maria,

  Damn, I loved the new short film you worked on. It’s distinctly you. I felt like you were next to me. Nick made fun of me when I took a photo of your name in the credits.

  I want to tell you all about the life here. The rainforest is so fascinating.

  But I suck at words, so I’ll email you some of the photos I took.

  A picture says 1000 words, right? There’ll be enough for a dictionary.

  I have nothing to say to everyone else. But tell Cheddar I’m not coming back just to make her look good in pictures. She’s a shit model if she can’t do that herself. And tell Grant I’m glad to be somewhere he can’t reach me.

  Thinking of you,

  Benji

  To my Maria,

  That’s what you’ve always been. My Maria. So if you want to officially change your name, then I’m behind you 100% (thinking about being behind you is driving me crazy). I’m sure your parents are proud of you, wherever they are. You’re chasing your dreams, and you made it this far on your own. Hell, I’m proud of you.

  Nick and I attended one of the peace talks. It was intense, and I was scared shitless, believe it or not. It’s mind-blowing how the people here are amazing and resourceful. The things they’re capable of doing out here make me feel like a barbarian, and it’s frustrating when I feel like I can’t capture it on camera like I want to.

  It’s hot as balls.

  I’m dying

  to see you.

  Love,

  Your Benji

  Dearest Maria,

  Would it be tacky to say how happy I am? That you want to wait for me to change your name? It is pretty fucking tacky. But I’m ecstatic so deal with it.

  Trekking through the rainforest is one hell of a trip. The forests in the States are botanic gardens compared to this. The other day, I found a bunch of Queen’s Tears on this one tree, and I thought of you. The petals curl up like your morning hair when you shower before you sleep. It didn’t feel as nice as you though.

  I wish I could bring a bouquet back for you.

  Missing you,

  Benj

  Forever my Maria, my love forever,

  Jesus, I think I’m dying. It feels like my body is trying to rip itself off my skin, from the inside out. Everything is so painful.

  But thinking of you is so much more painful. Coming here felt like a dream, but every second I am away from you, you’re the only thing I dream about. My heart fucking aches.

  Woman, what have you done to me? I left my sanity — my soul — with you. There is no place I belong more than beside you and in you. That’s where my home is. Home sweet Maria.

  And now, there’s a glaring emptiness inside me. How the hell I lived this long with you is a wonder. Each and every time I drive myself into you, I am fiercely — irredeemably — barbarically trying to leave myself in you. To mark you. Claim you. Own you. But it’s never felt like enough.

  I’ve been inside you, but you effortlessly fill me. Every time I separate from you, my skin feels empty, but my heart overflows with the knowledge that you love me. I only hope there’s a small space in yours to always carry me with you.

  There has been no greater joy than to become one with you, and if fate permits it, I’ll fill you with my love for the rest of my life until you’re dripping with it.

  My nightmares are of your smile, your lips, your eyes, your touch. Everything I crave, and everything I fear losing. You drive me mad everytime you breath.

  And if I die, my greatest regret will have been not telling you how much I love you.

  I’m not a man of many words, but you have the power to make Shakespeare of me.

  You should, as Hemingway once said, “know I’m not impatient. I’m just desperate.”

  Hopelessly in love with you,

  Desperately yours,

  Benji Reed

  Hello Maria love,

  Benji’s fine. He got food poisoning. Pretty bad, but he’ll live. He was sweating a storm when he insisted on writing you a letter. I didn’t read it, but I figured I’d slip in a little note telling you he’ll be a-OK.

  Nick

  Dear Maria,

  Fuck off, Grant. Stop reading my girlfriend’s mail. It’s illegal, and I’m sending the FBI your address.

  Benji

  Maria,

  It’s been a while since I wrote a letter because of that catastrophe when I was sick.

  And I’ve had a lot of time to think about things.

  This whole long distance thing isn’t working for me. It’s annoyingly difficult, and I realized my feelings have changed since I left.

  It’s been on my mind, and I’ve put it off for a while because I thought maybe it was a passing phase. Nick told me not to be impulsive and warned me to think about it more.

  We’re just incredibly different people, and after everything, even you should know you deserve better than this. You’re too good for the likes of me.

  I told you I’m selfish, right?

  So even though I don’t deserve you, I’m going to monopolize you.

  You’re going to be stuck with this good-for-nothing man, hopefully until death do us part. Otherwise this letter is going to be fucking awkward.

  I’m dropping this off in the mailbox right before I board the plane back to New York.

  Nick is letting me go back for the Nat Geo progress meeting for the mid-assignment update, but if I’m going back to America, I’m going to see you first.

  And when we go to change your name from Michele Ariadne Lennox to Maria Lennox,

  I want you to think about whether you’ll change it again from Maria Lennox to Maria Reed.

  I mean, not for a long time. It’ll be pretty far in the fucking future.

  But... think about it.

  (Although if you say yes now, I’m going to be tempted to sign that marriage registration form and consummate our marriage right then and there.)

  I can’t imagine the rest of my life without you, let alone whatever may come after it.

  Eternity is not long enough for us, but

  since forever is the best we can do, I am

  Forever yours,

  Benji Reed

  Author’s Corner

  Hello!

  Vic Tyler here!

  Thank you for finishing Hard Focus! This is my debut novel, and I hope you enjoyed it!

  When I first started writing, I agonized over what exactly I wanted to write and immortalize on paper (or screen).

  Benji and Maria slowly but surely took shape, and in the end, I just told their story as it happened. They hold a very dear place in my heart now, and I’m already agonizing over how I’m going to move on to write my next work!

  But no worries. My next protagonists are materializing, and I’m eager to tell their story. I hope you are too! (Details to come…)

  Please leave a review for Hard Focus on Amazon and Goodreads so others and I can see what you thought of it!

  If you’d like to subscribe to my newsletter, Letters From Vic, please press here.

  I promise not to spam. Scout’s honor. xoxo

  Letters From Vic will include:

  + Exclusive, unpublished short stories

  + Deleted scenes (more Benji and Maria!)

  + ARC and beta reader opportunities