Surviving, One Day at a Time (Demented Revengers MC: Quitman Chapter Book 2)

by Vera Quinn

  “Gracie, I never meant to hurt you. I just couldn’t pretend and I am sorry I left you and Shelby unprotected. I will never forgive myself for that. It’s unforgiveable. Just so everyone is perfectly clear, I am only helping Jilly back on her feet. At the end of the week I will be going back on the road and back to work and Jilly knows that. I don’t know what she is trying to make everyone believe but I will never step over the line of family even if I must move away permanently. Which I do not want to have to do.” I think Brody is finished but he goes on. “Kaden is going to help me get Jilly situated back in her house. I have also set up a checking account at the bank for you until you get a job and all this is behind you. I dropped everything off at your attorney’s office. If you don’t use it then it will just sit there. It’s the least I can do. If you ever need anything else your attorney has my contact information so he can get in touch with me. I won’t be back around to bother you. When I am in town I will keep my distance.” I have nothing to say to that.

  “I won’t use the money, but thank you again.” I don’t want his money. Still, Jilly just can’t let it go.

  “Brody, you don’t have to stay away from everyone. You, Rebel, and I need to work through our issues.” Rebel starts laughing. I look at him. I think he is losing it.

  “Jilly, you just don’t get it. No one is understanding what I am saying.” Rebel stops laughing and goes serious. “Gracie is mine. I am not pushing her right now because she is still married. Not that it matters to me but because it matters to her. I am going to do what I need to do to keep her and Shelby safe and happy. I LOVE GRACIE! Do you understand what is coming out of my mouth, Jilly? I do not lie to you. This is me not lying to you. She has my child growing inside her, she will have my leather on her back and my ring on her finger soon. Then when our child is born she will have my ink on her. I am not making a hasty decision. I have claimed her to the Demented Revengers so it is a done deal. Do you all get that?” Rebel has a look of determination on his face. I don’t know how I feel about any of what he has said but right now I am too tired to argue. Jilly looks like she could cry and Brody has a look of acceptance. “Now, Spinner, show Brody and Jilly out of my clubhouse and they are not allowed back in.”

  “You got it.” Spinner has been quiet taking everything in. Brody turns and walks back up the hall. Jilly hesitates but Rebel pulls me over to the bed and we sit down. Jilly finally turns and follows Brody. Spinner shuts the door and follows them. I look at Rebel and he is smiling at me. I never expect it but Rebel pulls me to him and I think he is going to kiss me but he just holds me close and kisses my forehead and holds me in his arms.

  “You know, babe, this is testing all the patience I have. This is not my usual. I normally just take what I want but for you, I am waiting. I want you so bad. Having you so close.” He kisses the top of my head and inhales the smell of my hair. Smells my hair? That’s sweet. “It’s like heaven and torture at the same time but for you I can do it. I am not going to rush you for anything. Just know you are mine.” I feel safe with Rebel. I know he wants more but if he is willing to wait. How can I argue with that?

  “Rebel, if you are being honest with me and you are willing to wait for me to be ready then I will do this with you.” Rebel squeezes me tighter. I feel just how much he wants me. I pull back and look at him. “I won’t be with you physically until I am divorced. I don’t even know if I will be ready for intimacy the second I am free but I am willing to try with us. We need to take this time to get to know each other. Spend time together and make sure we are what you truly want. I don’t want to be in this same place again in a year or two or three. I will not share you with any woman. I know your commitment to your club and I understand it or I am trying to. No other women. I will be with only you and I expect the same.” I look in Rebel’s eyes and I can almost see the relief. “If you are in a situation just think if the tables were turned. Would you want me in that same situation with another man? That’s all I ask. It’s that easy. If you can give me that then I will be willing to try.” Rebel pulls me back to him and hugs me tightly. Almost too tightly.

  “You’re so damn cute. Gracie, you and Shelby are already mine.” He bends and kisses my cheek. “I am sure this is exactly what I want but we can do what you said and get to know each other, babe. I know what happened with Jade and then Brody has you skittish about a life with me but it’s not going to stop us. I don’t want any woman but you. I am not some man who doesn’t know exactly what I want and you are exactly what I want. You are the only woman who will be sharing my bed. You are the only woman who I will be fucking. I am not smooth or have the flowery words you deserve but I will always be honest with you. I will be faithful to you. That’s doesn’t mean the club girls won’t try but I will say no. I can’t share everything going on in the club. That is for your safety as much as it is to protect my club. I can assure you of all this but the only way I can prove it is for us to live it. There’s no guarantees in life any other way.” I know Rebel is speaking the truth. “I’m a hard man and most times I am a real asshole but not to you and our children. Our lives won’t always be easy but we’ll face that shit together.”

  I turn into Rebel’s arms and relax. “I can accept those terms. One day at a time. One step at a time.” I know I can. First, I just need to close this chapter of my life with Brody

  Chapter 13

  Rebel

  The last month things have been going smoothly with Gracie. Her divorce with Brody is final but we are still taking it slow. Too damn slow for my liking. I want her in my bed every night and she hasn’t even been there once yet. My cock is only getting the attention of my own hand and that doesn’t even take the edge off. Being around Gracie every day and having her so close is my own heaven and hell rolled up into one. Shelby, on the other hand, has come out of her shell. She has every one of us wrapped around her little finger and she knows it. She talks nonstop. When she first arrived here she barely spoke a word but she feels safe now with us and it has built her confidence. It is a beautiful thing to see.

  The club has gone back to normal. We let everyone go home and called off the lockdown. The only exception is Gracie and Shelby. Ma is here more times than not. Her and Gracie have developed a bond and she has become a Grammy to Shelby. We haven’t heard anything from Jade. That keeps us all on our toes. We know she is close but she is like a ghost. We can’t put eyes on her. The Hell Keeperz MC is still giving Cap hell in Tyler but it is nothing big, just annoying. It’s like they are gearing up for something big but they need to keep letting Cap know they are still there until they do it. Cap disposed of Jade’s cousin. I don’t know how or where but he wasn’t any help.

  Today is Gracie’s OB appointment and we may find out the sex of the baby. I don’t care if it is a boy or girl, if he or she is healthy. I think Gracie is hoping for a little boy. She just won’t say it. Every name she comes up with is for a boy.

  Brody left town like he said and it left Jilly a bitter woman. Jilly has been dealt a bad hand with her heart. She is, or was, a good woman. She still tries to contact me and I don’t hide it from Gracie. I don’t know what happen to Jilly. She always had a big heart and put others first but I think life just broke her. She sticks close to Kaden and his family. Even Charlie and Gladys don’t know what to do with her. Jilly can’t accept Brody has a line he won’t cross, even for her. She can’t accept I love Gracie. I think Jilly is disappointed in life.

  She quit working because of her health limitations. Her divorce to Kevin is final and Kevin married the woman he got pregnant. Jilly has no children and will not have any. I think she always thought she had Brody or me to come back to. Life just fucked with her plans but Jilly needs to move on. I want to be her friend, just right now it is not possible.

  Today has been a hell of a day already. We patrol our territory every day. We check and recheck at all of Jade’s old haunts and no leads. We make sure all our businesses are protected. Always looking over our shoulders is someth
ing we are used to. It’s our lives, every day. It’s how we stay on top and stay alive but when it comes to keeping the ones we love safe then we take the extra steps. We put in the extra hours. We haven’t had the time to unwind or just to kick back for a night. The stress is getting to a breaking point so tonight we are kicking back to a watered down party. Tonight, I have a surprise for Gracie. Hopefully today, we will finally know if we are having a son or another daughter. The family is coming together for a dinner and Gracie’s surprise and then the brothers get to kick back and party.

  I get back to the clubhouse in enough time to shower to go to the doctor’s appointment. We are taking my truck now because no way am I letting my woman get on my bike as pregnant as she is. Gracie is sitting in the common room when I come in from showering. Ma is here to watch Shelby and it looks like the women in my life have their heads together. “Are you ready, babe? We need to get going.” I tell Gracie.

  “Waiting on you.” Gracie stands. Shelby is watching us. She does not like being left behind these days. It seems like she clings to Gracie, Ma, or me more since she came back from being kidnapped. I love that she wants to go with me or to be with me but I hate the thought that this angel is afraid we are going to leave her and not come back.

  “Poppy, go?” Shelby has started calling me poppy. The first time she said it my heart felt like it would explode with love. Dawg Man’s kids call him poppy and I know it is where Shelby picked it up but that makes it even sweeter that she understands what she is saying.

  “Yes, Poppy and mom are going to be back very soon.” I take Shelby from Ma’s arms and hold her close and give her a kiss on the head. I never thought I would have this sweetness in my life. I am handing her back to Ma after getting my hug.

  “Boss, we have eyes on Jade. Salty and Cue Ball are watching her and she has Sear with her. She’s in Mineola. Are we going to roll on it?” Spinner is waiting for my answer. I look at Gracie. I don’t want to miss the ultrasound today but we need to take care of Jade. She has been like a ghost and there is no telling when we will get eyes on her again. My instinct is to get on my bike and roll but this is a big coincidence. Gracie has been going stir crazy in this clubhouse and the day she is going out is the day we get eyes on Jade. Coincidence, maybe, maybe not. I am not taking any chances.

  “Sin, take two prospects with you and go with Gracie to the doctor. Do not let her out of your sight. She goes in to take a piss you check that room out and then let her in to do her business. You are like glue to her ass. Tip, you and the other two prospects stay here and guard Ma and Shelby. Lingo will be on the gate. Stay alert. I am going to get Kaden to send a car to patrol the street and see if he can do the same with the doctor’s office. Everyone else on your bikes. Spinner send Cap a text and give him the address.” I send off the text to Kaden. “Babe, we have to do this.” Gracie smiles.

  “Go, make us safe again. I would like to be out of this clubhouse by the time this baby is born.” That’s my woman. I kiss her head.

  “Let’s roll.”

  Chapter 14

  Gracie

  I thought Rebel would be with me today but life gets in the way. If it helps get us out of the clubhouse to a normal apartment or house, I’ll deal. Things with Rebel have been going smoothly. We have gotten to know each other and he hasn’t pressured me for more. He is being patient. Something I didn’t think he was capable of but he has proven me wrong. My hormones are what I am having to fight. That man is too darn sexy for his own good.

  There have not been any loud parties at the clubhouse since I have been here and I am glad of that. Rebel put a stop to them for me and Shelby. The brothers haven’t been happy about it but they all complied. That doesn’t mean the skanks haven’t been here. Rebel cleaned house of all the old club girls and they have been replaced with hang arounds looking for a good time. Some have approached Rebel but he nips it in the bud and lets it be known he is hands off. I know this is a big step for Rebel and I do appreciate it but I can’t stop myself from waiting for the other shoe to drop. It always does with me. I know this is not a healthy train of thought.

  As soon as our safety is not in question I am considering therapy. Just to help me deal with everything. I think it is what I need to do to help me but also so I can be better for my children and if Rebel and I are going to have a fighting chance at a good relationship it may help. I have been going online and there are support groups for battered women. I have joined a few to just see what they are about. I talked to Rebel about it and he said he supports anything I choose to do but to not talk about the club. I haven’t interacted in any of them but I observe and read all the articles they suggest. I just don’t want to feel like damaged goods anymore and I want to be the person I would have been if Kendall was never in my life. I’d like to think that my mom and dad would be proud of me and that my children will be proud for the way I handled our lives when they are old enough to look back on it.

  I look out the window and realize we have made it to the doctor’s office. I know Sin is probably not happy to be on babysitting duties today instead of with his brothers but he hasn’t said a word about it. “I’m sorry you have to be on babysitting duty. I know whatever is happening today that you should be there watching Rebel’s back. I hope this is over soon so we can all get back to our lives.”

  “No worries, Gracie. Rebel sent me with you because he trusts me to keep you as safe as he would, so he can concentrate on what he needs to. That’s all that matters. We work as a team, that is what a brotherhood is.” I know what Sin is saying but I also know he would rather be there with Rebel.

  “Okay, let’s do this.” The two prospects park their bikes beside us. I start to open the truck door and Sin catches my arm.

  “Stay put until Crowder opens the door. I am going to get out and he will walk you around to me.” I do as Sin says. I don’t believe anyone is stupid enough to try something in the middle of the day with so many people around but I listen anyway.

  Crowder is at my door and he helps me out of the truck. I see the other prospect looking around to make sure no one is waiting to get us out in the open. Crowder walks me to the other side of the truck where Sin is waiting. A sheriff’s SUV pulls up beside the curb and parks. Kaden gets out and smiles at me. I guess I get more than one safety detail today. He approaches us and gives me a hug.

  “How are you feeling today, Gracie?” Kaden is smiling but it is a stiff smile. He is worried.

  “I’m doing okay today. Trying to find out if I need to buy pink or blue. How are Laura and the boys?” Kaden smiles a genuine smile at the question.

  “Can’t keep the boys in clothes and shoes and they eat us out of house and home. Laura is doing alright. She is gaining her strength back from her first round of chemo. Getting some color back in her cheeks. How’s Shelby?” Kaden is a good family man.

  “She is getting into everything and has everyone wrapped around her little finger. Spoiled beyond belief.” I am being truthful.

  “She is a sweetheart and you know it, Gracie. Do you think we can move on into the doctor’s office? Standing out here makes me nervous.” Sin is one of the worst ones about spoiling Shelby but right now he is all about business. He keeps looking around. Crowder is right behind the three of us as we enter the office building. The other prospect is standing by the bikes and truck. I don’t even know this one’s name. He’s new. I guess that is why he gets left standing outside.

  We make it inside and I sign in and make sure they know I am here. Kaden sits beside me. Sin and Crowder are looking around and even go in the women’s restroom and check it out. Thankfully it was empty and there wasn’t a scene.

  “How are Ms. Gladys and Charlie? I miss them.” I tell Kaden.

  “They are doing good. They are getting ready to go off on a camping retreat with their church. They need some time away. It’ll be good for them. Brody is in and out of town and they don’t speak to Jilly much when she is home.” Kaden stops like he has said somet
hing wrong.

  “It’s alright, Kaden. I’m good with Jilly and Brody. You can say their names, I’m not going to fall apart. I miss my friendship with both, but I know it is best to have the distance between us. Is Jilly doing alright?” Kaden looks relieved.

  “I didn’t want to bring up anything to upset you. Jilly is taking care of her health and she is in therapy again. I think it is helping her cope. She says she understands Brody standing by his principles and she accepts that Rebel loves you. She’s also working on her issues with Kevin and not being able to have children. It’s a day to day process. She is talking about taking a cruise and she has been visiting her friends from college. That’s the reason she is not home much. She comes home for doctor appointments and therapy sessions. I think she is embarrassed about how she acted too and that is keeping her away. I talk to her every two to three days.” Kaden misses Jilly and he is still worried about her. He can try to deny it but it is there in his voice.

  “Well, I am glad. Jilly is a good person. I just miss her. She helped me when I had no one and I will never forget it.” I owe Jilly a lot.

  “I know she thinks the world of you too but she got lost there for a little bit.” Spoken like a loyal brother. “How are you and Rebel? You going to make an honest man out of him?” I think for a second.

  “I am in love with Rebel.” I laugh. “I know that sounds crazy. I haven’t been divorced but for a second but I can’t deny it. He has proven to me he is in this relationship for the long haul. He’s a good man and a good dad to Shelby. You know she calls him poppy now and every time he breaks out into a big smile.” That smile warms me all over. I blame lack of sex. “We just need to get this situation taken care of.”