Illusion

by Ashley Beale

  "Thanks." He kisses my forehead.

  The tattoo artist comes in and shows me the design and how it'll look on my left wrist. I love it, it's perfect. I accept it and lay back, closing my eyes. I can feel Harvey's hand in mine, and it's all the comfort I need to go through with this.

  The buzzing starts and I startle just slightly when he touches down on my wrist. It isn't nearly as painful as I expected it to be, and it takes no more than twenty minutes to be finished. When the buzzing stops, I peel my eyes open and look down at the fresh, swollen skin, with black ink covering it. It came out absolutely perfect and I'm immediately in love.

  I'm a little cliché on the type of tattoo I got when it comes to this generation of females, but I love it anyways. It's an infinity symbol, but on the bottom of the right circle, the line spells out faith in cursive, and in the left circle on the top, it actually separates momentarily to have three small birds flying back into the symbol. I love everything it represents. Especially when choosing the word faith. It's something I lost when Kirt died, but I gained back when meeting Harvey. So although it has to do with me and my struggles, a piece of them both are involved. I'll always be reminded of the happiness they gave me.

  The guy adds on some gunk, puts a white bandage over it, which he tapes, then he proceeds to tell me how to take care of the tattoo. I listen carefully, thank him then cash out.

  When we leave the shop, I look to Harvey. "So what do you think?"

  "I think it's perfect."

  I nod, agreeing. "Yeah, me too. Thank you for bringing me to do this, and giving me the encouragement to get it done."

  He smiles, pleased with himself. "You're welcome. It's good to see you smile so much."

  Harvey doesn't stay the night again. I'm not sure if to be upset or not. It's nice having him sleep here with me. It's also nice to have some time to be alone, think about things, and relax.

  I give my parents and Emi a quick call, then I grab the novel I was reading earlier and fall asleep before flipping the first page.

  Spending most evenings, lunches, and another weekend with Harvey, time has gone a lot faster than I ever expected it to. We had our exclusive talk finally, only because Emi was forcing me to have it. Last night I just blurt out, "so are we boyfriend and girlfriend or what?" I was incredibly embarrassed by my outburst.

  Of course Harvey thought it was adorable. He grabbed my face with both hands, planted a kiss to my lips, then said, "I would love that." That was that. We had sex a total of four times after, and I passed out very sore but very, very pleased.

  Today I know I'm walking with a slight wobble. I don't think anyone notices, but they could just be thinking I'm a giant weirdo and don't want to say anything or stare too long.

  Since Harvey had to work early today, I have to eat in the break room, which I don't mind because it's raining out today. While microwaving yesterday's left overs, someone walks up next to me. He's slightly younger than me with a full head of blonde hair and bright blue eyes that really shine under the florescent light. He smiles at me while waiting for the microwave with his own food.

  I don't recognize him. He is dressed in a dark blue polo shirt, tucked into a fit pair of khaki’s. He gives off a vibe that he doesn't work here, just by the way he is dressed, but I can't be too sure. I thought I met most everyone at least once.

  "So your sister will be here in two days," he states.

  I'm taken aback and look at him, pulling my brows together in confusion. "Excuse me?"

  He starts laughing, completely humored by his statement. I, however, am not amused at all. It's quite freaky to be honest. I almost wish I had my pink little bottle of mace. "Brice," he puts out his hand, "the IT guy."

  My face flames in embarrassment. "Oh," I tell him, thinking of yesterday’s email with Emi.

  She had told me for the very last time everything better be exclusive between Harvey and I by the time she shows up, or she is going to kick him square in the nuts and we can't have hot, passionate sex anymore. Then she proceeds to talk about how when she is here, she is going to find some sexy man to screw, since she is apparently jealous of me. She claimed she wanted a taste of New York City too.

  Of course, she put stars in replace of her words, but it's obvious to what she was saying. Then she turns around and writes a letter to the IT guy on my email. Something like, Hey IT guy, sorry to get you all hot and bothered at work again. My sister here has never told me anything about you, so I'm assuming you're the shy and hot type. Am I right? I usually am. Well, I'll be in town in three days. Send me your picture, name, and a few things about yourself and maybe we can hang out sometime. That is, of course, if you're single, because I may love me some booty but I'm never a home wrecker. K, thanks, bye!

  That is Emi for you. Although, I have no idea if she was serious or not.

  I don't shake Brice's hand, instead I take my food out of the microwave, stir it with my fork, then place it back in for another thirty seconds.

  His hand drops and fiddles with the cover to his Tupperware dish. "I didn't email her," he states. I can hear the humor in his voice. I'm glad he can take a joke so well.

  I smile at what he must have thought when he read it. I'm glad I didn't email Emi this morning to tell her how sore I am, that would be even more embarrassing. Especially if I mentioned my mini wobble. "She's a little wild," I tell him, not sure what more to say.

  "Yeah, I can tell by your daily emails."

  I bite down on my lip to stifle my laugh. My dish is a little hot when I try to pull it out of the microwave, so I let it sit there a second. "Sorry, it's a little too hot for me to take it."

  He reaches in without asking and pulls it out, then he sets it next to the microwave for me. "There you go."

  "Thanks," I tell him. I put my fork back in and stir it one more time, then bend down to blow on it.

  Brice puts his dish in the microwave, presses the start button, then turns around so he is leaning against the counter, crossing his feet at the ankles. "So tell me some about this sister of yours."

  I stop blowing on the food, stand up and face him. Is he being serious?

  I think on it for a moment when I don't see any more hint of humor in his expression. "She's twenty four, lives in Georgia, works in landscaping, a little wild and crazy. All things you probably picked up on when you read them emails."

  He smiles. "Yeah, pretty much. She look like you?"

  I shake my head no. "We have the same nose and smile, that is about it. Where my hair is slightly curly, hers is naturally straight, but it's the same color. Her eyes are a soft green instead of blue, and she is about four inches shorter than me."

  He presses his lips together as he slowly nods his head. "So she’s pretty?"

  "She's gorgeous," I tell him with a smile. It's the absolute complete truth.

  "So where we all going Saturday?"

  I pause again as I'm about to pick up my food. "Excuse me?"

  He grins at me. "Well she did invite me out on Saturday with you guys. I'm single, she's pretty, let's make it a double date."

  I shake my head as I walk with my bowl to sit at a table. I can't help but laugh. God, what has Emi gotten herself into? At least Brice is very attractive, so she'll be happy. Why not, I think, may as well. "I don't know where we're going yet, that is all on Emi."

  When his food is done, he takes it out and walks over, sitting at the table with me. His bowl obviously isn't too hot, either that or he can handle the heat. "Well where am I meeting you ladies, and what time?" His smile is adorable. I'm now quite amused myself.

  "I'll have Emi email me the details later."

  He winks at me before taking a bite of his ravioli.

  When I get back into my office I can't help but laugh at the audacity of the situation. I decide to send Emi a quick email, giving her a laugh as well as Brice. He seems like a real nice guy. We talked a little more in the break room during lunch, and I quickly found that he'd be a great person to have as a friend. />
  To: emi.laroche@margolandscapes.net

  Subject: Brice....

  So I just had an interesting lunch, I thought you'd like to know. The IT guy, Brice, will be joining us Saturday. He would like to know when and where to meet us, and where we are going. I'm sure you've researched night clubs already and have the entire week mapped out- so just give the poor guy some insight. He's a real nice guy.. :-) We can talk about other things when you call me later, because a little FYI, my s** life will no longer be mentioned via work email, lmao.

  Love youuuu.

  Zoey LaRoche

  I laugh silently at myself for putting his name as the subject line. It'll catch his attention fast. It'll certainly confuse, and probably intrigue, Emi until she reads the email.

  Meghan pops in the door the same time I get a notification on my computer. I can't check my email yet, and I'm itching to do so. "Hey, Gemma is wondering if you have that report finished about the advertising market in Chicago?"

  "Oh, right, I do." I stand up and walk to the filing cabinet as Meghan walks in. I double check the report, making sure I have completed it correctly, before I pass it to Meghan. "Here you go. Everything should be all set."

  She smiles while shuffling through the papers herself. "Thanks Zoey. It looks great, I'm sure Gemma will be real impressed."

  As she is walking out the door I ask her a question that she may know the answer to. "Hey, Meghan, quick personal question."

  She pauses and turns towards me, grinning with excitement. I don't talk much about personal things with anyone in the office, I keep it completely formal, but Meghan always pushes me a little to find out information about my life.

  "What do you think about the IT guy? And what do you know about him?"

  "Oh," she gushes, "you like Brice? How awesome!"

  I shake my head, quickly dismissing the idea. "No, no, not for me." I laugh at the thought. "No, my sister is visiting this weekend and he is going to a club with us on Saturday. I wanted to make sure he was a good enough guy to tag along, and possibly someone my sister could have a, uh, night with." I don't want to blurt out, a guy she can have sex with, that'd be too awkward, but I think she gets the hint regardless.

  Meghan giggles softly, completely fascinated with the idea and the conversation. "He's a great guy actually. I only first met him when this office opened, so not much longer than you, but he is really sweet. I work with him sometimes when people are having technical issues and need both our assistance. I think he is recently single. Something about his girl moving to Tennessee or something crazy like that. I'm not sure of the deets."

  "Oh, ok, thanks."

  "So where are you guys all going Saturday?"

  Now I feel guilty telling her I have plans and not inviting her. She seems to want to go without quite asking. I can see the interest in her eyes. I sigh before answering. "I'm waiting to hear back where. Do you want to join us?"

  "You wouldn't mind?" Her eyes widen in excitement.

  "No, of course not! Invite a friend or two if you want, just not too many. I want it to be a fun night, not a crazy one."

  She laughs. "No problem, I'll just see if my friend Ryan wants to come." Oh perfect, she'll bring a guy, too. That way it'll be three girls and three guys. I like that idea.

  I tell her that I'll let her know the plans by Friday evening, then she leaves my office. I walk back to my computer to read my email from sister.

  To: z.laroche@inandoutmag.com

  Subject: RE: Brice

  Squeeeee!!!!!! How utterly ahh-mazing! "Hi Brice".. ;-) You do have my email you know. I still haven't received anything, but I'll be waiting, hehe. Anyways, to my lovely Zoey (oh and Brice, too I guess) we will be leaving Zoey's apartment approx. 10pm, where we will either walk or take a taxi to that night club called Toxic City. They're having a stripper pole dancing contest that night. You WILL be joining me on it Z *cough cough*. It's a $200 grand prize. Brice, you can meet us either place, Zoey can give you her address. If she says you’re joining us, which means she likes you for some reason or another, she most likely already has some trust in you. I'm sure she has already asked about you from someone in the office too. Right Zoey?! LOL. Anyways, I have to get going. I'm off work early tonight. I'm going SHOPPING! See you both soon. Love, me!

  Oh Emi. My crazy, wild sister. How I wish I still had that loving, carefree spirit. I never was quite as hyper active or outgoing as her, but I was close enough. People have always been attracted to the two of us. Not by our looks either, but by our personalities. Although I notice day by day I'm healing, and returning into a happier person, I'm still a far call away from the old me. I'm not sure I'll ever be there again.

  One thing I have been noticing a lot, which makes me both happy and nervous, as do a lot of other things lately, is that my OCD that I'd developed after Kirt's death has started to disappear. I'm thankful for that. It was frustrating, but I was so scared of the unknown, it was like my safe haven to have things organized and planned.

  I still visit my cafe every morning before work, I still keep a routine while at work, and I still have things organized, but I'm not the irrational person I was.

  I call Harvey when I leave work. He is at work but he usually answers when I call.

  "Hello," he says after the fifth ring, not that I was counting.

  "Hey, am I bothering you?"

  "No, not at all," he replies. "We're actually finishing up for the day. I'm at the last tour stop."

  That makes me smile. "So does that mean you're able to come over for dinner tonight?"

  "Yes, of course it does. I actually need to speak with you about something anyways."

  That doesn't sound so good. "Oh, okay, well I'll see you when you come over."

  We hang up the phone and I make the tread home. I decide to change into something more comfortable, then I paw through the freezer until I find a bag of frozen vegetables. I steam them over the stove top, then I cut up the pork I had thawing. I throw that in a frying pan with some precooked rice, oil, and the steamed vegetables, and make my own version of a stir fry. By the time its done Harvey is knocking on the door.

  He is standing there with a large bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine when I open the door. I'm not sure how excited I should be, because he said he needed to talk to me and shows up with two dozen tulips and an expensive white wine. I'm assuming things aren't going to go so well by the end of the night.

  Nevertheless, I thank him with a chaste kiss to the lips, then I take the bouquet from him. They smell wonderful and are an array of different colors. He walks over and pops the cork on the wine, then pours us both a glass. "Mm, dinner smells delicious."

  "Thanks," I tell him, while placing the flowers into another large cup. Obviously I need to invest in some sort of vase. I pour in the little packet it comes with and set them on my coffee table. It looks too beautiful to have sitting on an old wooden table that wobbles, but it's honestly the only place in this entire apartment I have to put them unless I want to put them on the stove or fridge.

  Harvey makes us both a plate and brings them in the living room, setting those on the table too. It's the only place I can eat in here, since I don't even have enough room for a kitchen table. He then walks back in and grabs the glasses of wine.

  "So what's with the flower and wine?" I ask when he sits next to me.

  He smiles at me before giving me a small kiss on the end of my nose. "I feel the need to apologize."

  "Why?" I swallow the lump forming in my throat at what he could possibly need to apologize about. He doesn't look guilty, and we honestly talk or hang out all the time, so I can't imagine he's been hanging out with anyone behind my back. You never know though.

  He turns towards me and takes my hands in his. "My dad called. My aunt is sick and needs me to head to Maine tomorrow. I won't be able to go on Saturday with you guys. I'm not sure how long I'll be gone for either."

  "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt." I kiss his cheek and give
him a small hug. "Of course I'm not upset, you need to go to your family. I only wish I could go with you."

  "Yeah, I wish you could too. But I know you'll have fun with your sister. Please be safe when you girls go out. It makes me nervous to think just the two of you are going to the bars or to a night club alone."

  "Oh, right. About that. Emi already has a sort of date," I roll my eyes at that. Of course my sister can get a date from several states away just days before she makes it here. "This guy I work with, who monitors all the emails in the office. I'll explain more of that in a minute. Then I have my assistant from work, Meghan, and her friend Ryan that are going."

  He gives me a sad look, obviously feeling bad I'll be the only one without a guy there with me. "I'm sorry. I can call my dad and possibly head up Sunday."

  "Don't be ridiculous, he needs you and your aunt does too. I'll be okay. I'm sure it'll be fun."

  "So tell me how Emi got a date already?" He laughs and shakes his head.

  While we eat supper, I explain about the emails and about meeting Brice today. It completely amuses Harvey and I'm glad he finds it funny and not just incredibly weird. I hope his aunt is fine and he can make it back here Sunday or Monday so he can get to know my sister. They'll get along great I believe. She wins the hearts of nearly everyone she meets, and Harvey is one of the sweetest guys I've ever known.

  That kind of hurts to think. Kirt was sweet. He was romantic, thoughtful, nice, and loved with his whole heart. He was a true gentlemen, that knew how to have a good time. He supported me, even when I was told I couldn't have his children. I never met such a perfect person in my life. The only time I ever truly got mad at him was when he made a decision for the both of us that ended his life. But that is also part of the grieving process, so everyone tells me.

  "Zoey, wake up."

  I grunt and push at Harvey, not wanting to wake up just yet. He chuckles in my ear and it warms me up.