Finding You (Finding You Series Book 1)

by Amanda Mackey

  “Are you ready to head back now? It’s getting dark.” Kyle’s voice had a husky edge to it.

  I was reluctant and hesitated before speaking. “I guess. It’s just so magical here, it’s hard to leave.”

  I felt him shift and move in to me, pulling me back to his chest, where I relaxed with the regular beating of his heart. The safety of his arms enveloped me, emblazoned me with peace.

  “Mmm. It sure is. Makes you want to stay forever, just vanish from society and set up camp right here. Can you imagine those headlines? Hollywood movie actor disappears without a trace, feared dead. I can honestly say that it wouldn’t bother me one bit.”

  I chuckled at the thought. “The only snag in that wonderful dream is the fifty or so crew members that know where you are. We’d have to escape to a different island if we wanted solitude.”

  “I would buy you an island if that’s what you wanted. I’d give you the earth.”

  Pulling his wonderful, full mouth around and down onto my waiting lips was a token of my gratitude. The softness of them stole my breath. Our tongues danced together playfully. One of his hands fanned at the back of my neck while the other traced the outline of my cheekbone. Kyle’s soft whimpers were lost to mine as we tried to simmer the burning fire that quickly raged. All the emotions we’d just shared seemed to be poured into the kiss as gentle became fierce. I could feel the kiss all the way down to my toes. Desire stirred in my belly and I questioned whether I wanted to rip his clothes off and take him right there.

  “Baby, you’re driving me wild here. Kissing you is never enough.”

  I felt the button on my shorts pop open and his hand slid underneath my lacy underwear. Lust being a hard beast to tame, I wanted nothing more than to let the hungry tiger feed on me but the mosquitoes were biting and it would soon be dark.

  “Let’s finish this at my place.” Oh my God! Was I actually saying that? Did I want this? Did I want sex? After two weeks of toying with my libido and having Kyle be so patient, I knew I was ready. There was no turning back.

  Kyle let out a gentle groan as his hand left my groin and teased my breast.

  “Do you think you can wait that long?” he crooned, hoping to convince me otherwise.

  “That depends on how fast you can drive.”

  Having said that, it was the fastest pack up we’d ever done as the picnic basket and all its contents hit the floor of the car with such haste that it overturned, spilling out knives, forks and plates. Kyle hit the gas and we left in a cloud of stone-infested dust.

  Before we reached the resort, Kyle broke the silence.

  “Let that be our place. Whenever you are feeling down or depressed, go there in your mind’s eye and imagine us sitting there, staring out to the horizon, embraced in each other’s arms. All your fears and doubts will soon go away.”

  I loved it. I was the writer and yet he was the one that always managed to say the right things. I vowed to treasure our place in my heart and would never forget it, ever.

  As we entered Reception, Ramah looked up from behind the counter. She smiled but it didn’t reach her eyes.

  “Dakota, there has been a call from your mother. She sounded a little upset. I think she wants you to call her.”

  Instant mood change! Fear. Panic. Breathlessness. What on earth would my mother be doing calling Sapphire Island? What’s happened? Why didn’t she just sent a text message?

  Kyle kept close, snaking his arm around my waist to steady me as I stumbled slightly. I had the sudden sinking feeling that my world was about to come crashing down.

  “Don’t worry. It mightn’t be anything too bad. Go and call her and find out and then we’ll deal with whatever is wrong.”

  I wasn’t so sure.

  He led me over to the phone behind Ramah’s desk where I dialed the number with trembling hands. Something was very wrong, I just knew it.

  The phone rang for a long time and just when I was about to hang up, my mother answered.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, it’s me. I got your message from Ramah. What’s happened?” I didn’t have time for small talk. My heart was about to beat out of my chest and I needed to find out what my mother wanted.

  “I’m sorry to have to call you and interrupt your holiday but I thought you should know. John has been harassing us, trying to find you.”

  In that moment, I felt like I was standing before the firing squad, waiting for the first bullet. I held my breath and waited.

  “Anyway, he came around here last night looking for you and came into contact with your father. You can imagine how enraged your father became when he saw John. The two of them got into an argument and ended up fist fighting. Oh Dakota, it’s just horrible. John’s put your father in hospital with head injuries and a fractured jaw. They don’t know the extent of the head injuries yet but it could be serious. John has skipped town and can’t be found. I’m so sorry to call with such bad news but I thought you’d better know before you arrived back here to all the mayhem.”

  My airways had narrowed to the size of a pinhead. I pulled at my shirt to ease the constriction. My dad was in hospital because of that monster and now I would have to cut my holiday short to go back and be with my family. They needed me now. When would all this end? Happiness was something that got dangled in front of me to tease me. My life was jinxed. I started to think that the last two weeks of bliss had all been a figment of my imagination. Tomorrow I would wake up back in my own private hell. John would burst through the door, demanding dinner, and I would discover that my holiday and Kyle had all been some wonderful thought up illusion.

  “I…is…Dad…going to be…okay?”

  “The doctors won’t know until they do more tests. I’m so worried about him.”

  “Oh God. This is terrible. I’m so sorry. I feel like it’s all my fault.”

  “No! You stop that! It’s not your fault at all. Don’t think like that. You weren’t even here. Please don’t worry. I’m sure your father will be fine. He’s tough like his daughter.” My mother’s attempt to downplay the situation failed miserably.

  “I’ll come home as soon as I can. You need me now. I want to be there for both of you.” The words sounded alien. My mouth was on autopilot, saying the right things while my head was in turmoil.

  “Thanks, darling. I’m so sorry you have to cut your trip short. We’ll see you when you get home”

  “Okay. I love you.”

  “I love you too, dear.”

  I stood cradling the receiver after the conversation ended, eyes vacant, unable to feel anything.

  “Dakota, what is it?” asked Kyle, taking the receiver from me and placing it down.

  The conversation replayed over and over in my head.

  “John has struck again. He’s put my father in hospital. Apparently he went to my parents’ house looking for me and came into contact with Dad, who probably provoked the situation a little, wanting to tear his head off his shoulders. They got into a fight and Dad’s in hospital with head injuries and a fractured jaw. They don’t know how serious the head injuries are. I have to go back and be with them.” I howled, harshly knowing that my time with Kyle was about to come to an end, feeling selfish for even thinking that when my dad was in such a state. “Why is this happening to me? I’m not ready to leave you yet. I had another two weeks of my holiday remaining. What are we going to do?”

  The mere thought of flying back to hell was deeply disturbing. No one would want to leave paradise to return to face the devil.

  Kyle comforted me from behind. Pulling my back into his chest, resting his chin on my shoulder, both arms tightly around my waist. “You have to go home. It wouldn’t be right for you to stay here while your father lies in hospital in who knows what sort of a state. I don’t want you to go, though. I want you to come stay with me in LA after you get everything sorted out. I’m paying and I don’t want any rebuttal. Our time together has been cut short due to unforeseen circumstances so I want to make that
up to you. To us. Will you at least think about it?”

  Now more than ever, I needed him. My old life was just too painful to face alone.

  He nuzzled his face into my neck and held me tightly, waiting for my answer.

  “There’s nothing to think about. As soon as I see that Dad is okay, I’ll be on the first plane out of there. I feel like I don’t belong in that world any more. I don’t want to be a part of it. I’d love to spend some time with you in LA. I’m more eager than ever now to get divorce proceedings underway. I just hope the police can find John, as he’ll need to sign the papers.”

  Kyle looked wounded. “Are you sure he’ll sign them? Maybe he won’t, just to spite you.”

  “I don’t know,” I said, suddenly hoping Kyle was wrong. What if he didn’t sign the papers? How would I get him out of my life? That bridge would just have to be crossed when I came to it. The first thing was to get to my dad.

  “Let me call the airport and see when we can get you on a plane out of here.” Kyle suddenly took charge.

  The mere mention of the airport made it all seem so, final. I was going home.

  Shit. “Kyle, I don’t want to go now. I want to stay here with you. I don’t want to risk running into John again, even though he’s supposedly disappeared. When it comes to me, it’s like he has a built-in radar. He’ll find out I’m home. What if he gets violent again? After all, look where my father has ended up. I don’t think I can face any of it. I don’t want to.” I sounded like a defiant child but I didn’t care.

  “If he so much as breathes near you, call me immediately, and movie or no movie, I’ll be on the first plane over there to show him how we deal with things the American way.”

  I admired his chivalry but Kyle didn’t know whom he was dealing with. This was no ordinary hot-head. John was mentally unstable and was capable of anything. Who knew what his plans were?

  My eyes widened as I also came to the conclusion that John now knew that I wasn’t dead. This was going from bad to worse. Afraid was not even in the same league as to what I was feeling. I felt like throwing up. My heart palpitated as Kyle called the airport.

  I barely listened as he spoke to reservations, the sound of his voice was merely background noise as I tried to simmer down. Adrenalin had everything inside me working frantically, my body in fight or flight mode.

  “What did they say?” I mumbled when Kyle hung up and turned to me, clasping both my cheeks in his warm hands and pulling my face up so I would look at him. I seriously hoped to God that all flights out of Sapphire Island had been cancelled permanently.

  “Well, considering it was such short notice, the best they could do was the day after tomorrow.”

  Jesus! That’s way too soon.

  I felt myself collapse under the weight of the sudden curve ball that had been thrown at me.

  Kyle pulled me into him tightly and if it hadn’t been for his vise-like grip on me I would have ended up on the floor curled into a ball, withdrawing into myself like I had done so often in the past.

  “Hey. It’s okay. Everything is going to be fine. I’m here for you and I’m not going anywhere. You don’t have to face this alone. I’ll be on the phone to you whenever I can to help, I promise.”

  “I wish you could go with me.”

  “I know. So do I, believe me. There’s nothing I’d like more than to accidentally run into your ex.”

  “Having to go back and face everything after the last two perfect weeks is like throwing a bucket of cold water on my face. I’m scared. I don’t want to be that way anymore. Being here with you has made me realize that there is so much more to life.”

  “You’re so amazing and brave for what you’ve been through. I can’t begin to imagine what that is like but you aren’t that person anymore. You’re so much stronger than the woman you were because of what that asshole did to you.”

  I felt his lips brush mine so softly, I barely felt them. Needing the reassurance his kisses brought me, I crushed my lips harder into his, gripping his head and guiding it on an angle so I could absorb him into my being to give me the strength I knew I was going to need.

  There was a desperation in the kiss. I could feel Kyle giving me another piece of himself as his full lips devoured mine. Here we were standing in the middle of reception, oblivious to anyone other than each other, not caring who saw that moment of need and it was one of the best moments of my life. For the first time in my life, I needed a man. This man. If not just for the support he was giving me, I needed the kind heart I knew he possessed. I needed it more than anything.

  Kyle pulled back, letting a moan escape his throat as he rested his forehead on mine. “What are you doing to me?”

  Even with acid still broiling in my stomach, although not quite as much after that kiss, I managed a small giggle.

  “I guess trying to seduce you in a public place isn’t such a good idea, huh?”

  “Angel, you can kiss me like that anytime, anyplace.” His breathing came in short bursts.

  “I don’t want to go.”

  “I know but the sooner you get over there, the sooner you can leave.”

  I knew that was true but it still didn’t make it any easier. Seeing my father beaten up in the hospital was just terrifying to me. Having to suffer the long flight home, I knew that by the time I touched down on Australian soil, I would be desperate.

  “Let’s go out tonight and have some fun. How about we go dancing? There’s a club in town called The Hip Thing. A couple of the crew have been there and said it’s great,” Kyle mused, obviously trying to help by changing the subject and getting my mind off the trip home.

  As much as I wasn’t in the party mood, I knew the best way to deal with things was to keep busy. If I sat around dwelling on my impending doom I would go nuts. Plus, I needed to make the most of my time with Kyle. That was all that mattered.

  “That sounds like fun,” I lied, trying to sound enthusiastic. He didn’t buy it.

  “I’m sure your dad will pull through. If he has half the strength of his daughter, he’ll make a full recovery. You probably won’t need to stay too long. Buzz in and buzz out and your ex won’t even know you’re there.”

  Oh, he’ll know. Of that I have no doubt. I don’t know which scares me more. Seeing my father black and blue or knowing John is probably waiting in hiding ready to pounce.

  “I’ll meet you out front in an hour. We can grab something to eat at the club.”

  I tried to pull off a smile but it was pained at best. I watched him walk towards his hut and slowly let my legs pull me on auto-pilot towards mine.

  Unlocking the door and stepping into what had become my haven, my stomach lurched at the thought that this beautiful place would soon be just a memory. Someplace I could only visit in my mind. It wasn’t fair. I had earned more than two weeks of happiness. I had. Hadn’t I?

  I switched my cell to camera mode and starting taking photos of the cabin, inside and out. I needed more than just mental images that would start to fade with time. There wasn’t a piece of the cabin that I didn’t capture, including the damn wardrobe that was still way too big for my clothing, even after a spending spree. I especially took about ten snaps of the bath. That fixture held extra special memories. Ones that made my heart hum. I smiled as I remembered the glorious foot rub and heated kisses and caresses that I’d lapped up like a puppy. I hoped those images would never fade.

  I wasted half an hour sentimentally snapping everything in my wake before deciding I’d better decide what to wear and start getting ready.

  Flicking through the clothes that I’d have to pack again the next day, I found what I was looking for.

  Tonight the new navy dress was finally going to be worn.

  That thought alone made me brighten up a bit. I knew Kyle’s eyes would bug out when he saw me in it. I loved how he reacted to me. Maybe in some way it was that built-in desire to please that would always be a part of who I was. The need to feel accepted and wanted. Kyle
made me feel that and much more.

  My skin glistened with a golden tan, which made me look as if I’d lived on the island for years. The dress seemed to show off my brown body all the more as I stood before the mirror doing a once-over after slipping it on. The gold earrings and lipstick finished off the picture. I went to grab the pashmina shawl and then decided to leave it. This time there was no need to worry about hiding my scars from Kyle. He knew all there was to know about me and it felt liberating. No secrets.

  As much as a part of me wanted to keep wallowing in self-pity, I couldn’t help but feel a rush of excitement at the sight of my reflection, knowing that in many ways the woman staring back at me had irrevocably changed forever because of the man I was about to spend the evening with. Hope blossomed. Maybe, just maybe I’d survive the trip home after all and everything would work out. I had to believe that. Look at how far I had come. Surely the worst of it was over.

  Taking a few deep breaths, I straightened my hair, stepped into my sandals, and headed out.

  Drifting through reception, Ramah stopped in her tracks and stared as if seeing me for the first time. The overworked woman had her hands piled high with dirty dishes, some precariously balancing under her chin. I waved, knowing that it was impossible for her to wave back, but offering it all the same. She smiled back at me with her eyes and that was enough. They said everything to me that they needed to. Our gazes held for a long moment before she disappeared into the kitchen.

  People were queued up from the restaurant into the reception area. It certainly was another busy night.

  Kyle paced out in front, hands in the pockets of his tan pants that hugged him in all the right places. His white button up shirt draped outside his jeans, the two top buttons undone. I tingled at his allure. At first he didn’t see me but as I descended the two steps onto the driveway, he looked up.

  He was with me in an instant, eyebrows raised. “You look incredible. I’ve never seen anyone more beautiful. I feel like the luckiest guy on earth.” He reached out to take my hand as his eyes locked on to my body, roaming up and down and then again a second time. His head moved to within an inch of my ear so he could whisper.