Jillian's Promise

by Kristin Noel Fischer

  “But I ate it one evening when my mother and I came to pick up the boys, right?”

  “That’s right.” She peeled the potatoes and set them on the cutting board. “Do you think being at the house is helping your memory? First, you remembered Matt’s broken arm and now the pot roast.”

  I looked around the family room, the kitchen, and finally at her. “Maybe, but everything has changed so much—Bella, the furniture, the boys. Why isn’t Matt playing baseball anymore?”

  She sighed. “He quit after the first practice, which is a shame because he had a lot of talent and talked about playing in college. Unfortunately, he didn’t get along with the coach.”

  I frowned. “That kid needs a sport for direction, not to mention scholarship opportunities.”

  “I agree.” She sounded discouraged and slightly resentful. “Ever since he stopped playing, he’s lost his drive for anything productive. It seems the only thing that makes him happy is spending time with his girlfriend. He’s obsessed with her, and I don’t think that’s good for either one of them.”

  “I remember a guy like that.”

  She gave a bashful smile and looked down at the cutting board. “We were in college, and you still managed to play ball, earn decent grades, and fulfill your ROTC obligations.”

  A sad moment of regret fell between us. Jillian tossed the potatoes into the crockpot. I was saddened by the fact she no longer wore her wedding ring. I wanted to ask her about it but was afraid I wouldn’t like the answer.

  I studied my own bare finger. What had I done with my wedding ring? Whenever I deployed, Jillian wore it on a chain around her neck with the gold cross I’d given her that first Christmas we were married. Did she still have those items, or had she pawned them off to buy something else?

  “Can I ask you a question?” I said.

  She washed the knife and set it aside to dry. “Sure.”

  I lifted myself onto the barstool and placed my cane on the counter between us. Turning the cane over, I examined it carefully as if it contained the answer to my painful question. “Am I a good father? You said I spend a lot of time with the boys, but I don’t like Matt’s attitude. He was such a happy kid. When did he become so rude and angry?”

  Her face fell, making me regret the question, but I had to know the answer. “You’re a good father. Matt doesn’t act like that all the time, but these last few years have been tough on him. You’ve been gone a lot, we lost your mom, and he resents—”

  “Your boyfriend.” The word was like acid in my mouth and I practically spat it out. “I know. I could tell whenever we talked about Bryan in the hospital.”

  She bristled. “I was going to say he resents you.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes. Ever since he hit puberty, the two of you haven’t gotten along. It’s probably best you don’t remember everything. You and Matt have had some very intense disagreements. You’ve always been good at calling and coming down to see the boys, but lately things have been tough with Matt.”

  Although it hurt to hear Jillian say that, I needed to know in order to fix it. And I definitely intended to fix things with Matt and everything else wrong with my life.

  Chapter 10

  Keith

  I followed Jillian across the backyard to the detached garage that opened onto the alley running behind the row of houses on our street.

  “You probably don’t remember,” she began, “but apartment is really an overstatement. The place is still just an insulated room with a window unit. The exterminator came yesterday, but I hope you’re not expecting much.”

  I pulled my eyes from the sway of her hips. “I’m not.”

  She opened the door, and I followed her inside, noting how much the room resembled an abandoned storage unit. Boxes, a punching bag, a drum set, and what looked like a bunch of junk had been pushed against one wall. A neatly made bed sat between the window and a bookshelf packed with old paperback novels.

  “It’s not a five-star hotel, but the sheets are clean, and I heard the spiders are friendly. Everything else is pretty much the same as you left it.”

  “The same as I left it?”

  She avoided my gaze. “You used to spend a lot of time out here, Keith.”

  “Why?”

  She shrugged. “You were angry, and we were fighting all the time. You’d come out here to crank the music and use the punching bag. Sometimes you played the drums.”

  “And I slept out here?”

  “Yes, in the end, you did.”

  I stared at her. Was she being dishonest? I didn’t think so, but I was having a hard time believing her. A gust of wind whipped through the garage, lifting her hair and slamming the door shut. She jumped, startled by the loud noise.

  On impulse, I stepped toward her. “Let me ask you a question.”

  She blinked but didn’t move. “Okay.”

  I hesitated and stepped even closer, invading her personal space. “Why in the world would I want to sleep out here in this dump when I could be in bed with my beautiful wife?”

  The question unnerved her, and she pressed against the wall, trying to create distance between us. “You just did. How was I supposed to know what you were thinking?”

  I said nothing but continued staring at her, standing so close, I could smell her shampoo—a sweet strawberry scent. Forget about Doc’s warning to give Jillian space. I wanted to touch her soft cheek, cup her face, and kiss her. As if sharing my desire, she parted her lips and tilted back her head.

  “I remember now.” I lowered my face toward hers.

  She swallowed. “You do?”

  “Yeah.” I studied her eyes. She wanted to kiss me all right. I wanted to kiss her, too. Wanted to feel her warmth in my arms. Nothing had changed between us. I still loved her, and she loved me.

  Drew’s laughter in the backyard brought me back to reality. I couldn’t rush this. Until Jillian broke up with her so-called boyfriend . . . until she begged me to come back into her life, I would keep things strictly platonic between us. I would give her the time and space she needed in order to fall in love with me again.

  Stepping back, I straightened to my full height. “I slept out here in the garage instead of with you because of your snoring.”

  “My snoring?”

  I pretended to be repulsed, despite the smile tugging at my lip. “Yeah, your snoring, woman, could wake the dead.”

  She laughed with shock and relief and hit me playfully on the arm. “That’s not true, Keith. I don’t snore.”

  “How would you know?” I said, chuckling.

  She grinned at me. “If I snored, Bella would tell me.”

  I shook my head. “I don’t think so. As I remember, that dog used to snore and fart all night long.”

  “She still does.”

  “Then I’m sure the two of you are fantastic roommates.”

  She shook her head and we both laughed, causing my heart to explode with joy. I’d always loved the sound of Jillian’s laughter. If I could still make her laugh, then I could win back her love. As long as I was patient and kept my hands to myself, she’d come back to me.

  “Look,” she said, her mood shifting, “you can stay here for a little while, but we have to maintain a mutual level of respect. I want to be sensitive to Bryan’s feelings toward this arrangement. I’m sure when I tell him that you’re living here he’s going to find the situation less than ideal.”

  “You haven’t told him yet?” Her hesitation gave me incredible hope. “Don’t you want him to know, Jills?”

  “Of course I want him to know. I’m not trying to hide anything. He’s been out of town, and I didn’t want to disturb him. I’ll tell him as soon as he comes back next week.”

  “Next week. Okay,” I said, unable to keep the skepticism out of my voice.

  She lifted her chin in defiance. “It’s not a big deal. Bryan’s a very compassionate person, so he’ll understand why I agreed to let you live here. I just need you to be sensitive
to his feelings.”

  Bryan. Things were going so well, then she had to bring up the issue of her boyfriend. Seriously, what was so great about this guy? I shrugged, pretending not to care. Needing to distance myself from thoughts of Jillian with another man, I strode to the window and pointed at the hot tub on the back porch.

  “When did you buy that?”

  “I didn’t. You and the boys bought it for me when I injured my back last Mother’s Day.”

  “Does it work?”

  “No, you promised to install it, but you never did.”

  I shook my head, disgusted. Great. One more promise I hadn’t kept. “Your fancy boyfriend couldn’t set it up for you?”

  “I was waiting for you to do it.”

  I turned to face her, shocked by the yearning in her voice. Her cheeks reddened. Had she been waiting for me to come back all these years? I tamped down the thought, warning myself not to overanalyze her response. She was just upset I hadn’t kept my promise.

  “We eat dinner at six.” She opened the door to leave. “Does that work for you?”

  “Seeing as I would walk through fire for your pot roast, six is fine.”

  She gave an amused smile. “No fire walking required. I’ll send one of the boys out when it’s ready.”

  “Tell them to wake me if I fall asleep. I don’t want to miss dinner.”

  She nodded, said good-bye, and headed back to the house. I stood at the window, watching her.

  “Turn around if you love me,” I whispered. “Come on, baby. Turn around.”

  I waited, my anxiety building with every step she took. She crossed the porch and opened the back door without the slightest indication of turning to check on me. My stomach knotted as she started to enter the house.

  Then, at the last minute, she stopped and gazed over her shoulder at me.

  Everything inside me exploded. Yes, yes, yes! She loved me! She still loved me, and that was the greatest feeling in the world.

  Now, I just needed to be patient, persistent, and prayerful as I waited for her to come to the same conclusion.

  Chapter 11

  Lyla

  While Avery underwent surgery, Lyla sat by herself in the hospital waiting room. Seeing the other families gather in groups of two or more to support each other heightened her loneliness.

  She checked her phone for the hundredth time, disappointed Ronnie hadn’t called. It was a busy day for him with the opening of the new library in Austin and various campaign obligations, but it was an even bigger day for his daughter.

  Where was he? What was so important he couldn’t even call or send a quick text?

  Looking for a quiet place to think, Lyla wandered into the hospital chapel and sat in the last pew. Although she hadn’t been to church since she was a little girl, she had fond memories of going with her grandmother. Of course, now, a woman like Lyla probably wouldn’t be welcomed in the house of God.

  Biting the inside of her cheek, Lyla studied the cross hanging at the front of the chapel. A yearning to depend on someone stronger than herself filled her, and for the first time in ages, she asked God for help.

  Lord, I’m probably the last person on earth who deserves anything from you, but protect Avery. Please. Please keep my little girl safe and help the doctor during the surgery. Help me. I know I need to change, but I don’t know how. Please show me what to do because I can’t live like this anymore.

  Tears interrupted her silent prayer. She opened her purse and pulled out a tissue, ashamed by her choices in life. If God actually answered her prayer and showed her the way, she would do her best to listen and follow His path. Deep down, however, she feared changing her life was impossible.

  She stayed in the chapel a long time, praying, watching people come and go, and thinking. As she’d told Ronnie, things couldn’t stay the same between them.

  Lord, I’m lonely. I know I have Avery, and I’m so grateful for her. She’s the absolute light of my life, but I could use a friend.”

  “Ms. Gray?” A female voice interrupted Lyla’s thoughts, and she spun around to see Avery’s surgeon.

  “She’s doing well,” Dr. Rogers said. “The surgery was successful, but it was more extensive than expected, so we’ll keep her in the hospital a few extra days.”

  Lyla pressed a hand to her racing heart. “Will she be okay?”

  The surgeon smiled. “Yes. She’ll have to continue speech therapy, but I believe we’ll see a vast improvement before too long.”

  “Thank you.” Lyla released the breath she’d been holding. She walked back with Dr. Rogers to Recovery where Avery, groggy from the anesthesia and in a tremendous amount of pain, sobbed.

  Lyla brushed back her daughter’s hair. “I’m sorry, honey.”

  “Want Daddy.”

  “I know you do, but I’m here.”

  Avery shook her head and continued crying. Eventually, she was moved to a private room where she slept most of the afternoon.

  Around three, the door opened, and Avery’s gymnastics coach stepped into the room carrying a big bouquet of pink and white balloons.

  “Hank,” Lyla said, surprised. Although Hank Brown played a huge role in Avery’s life, Lyla hadn’t expected him to come to the hospital.

  He gave a bashful grin. “I hope it’s okay I came without calling . . . I won’t stay long. I promise.”

  “Of course. Come in. We’re thrilled to see you. Avery, Coach Hank is here.”

  Avery looked up from the bed and placed a hand on her throat. “Want Daddy.” She pulled the covers over her head.

  Lyla forced a smile, nervous as always whenever Avery mentioned her father. “She’s hurting so don’t take it personally. I know she’ll appreciate the balloons when she’s feeling better. That was very thoughtful of you.”

  Lyla took the balloons from Hank and tied them to the end of the bed. “Avery? What do you say to Coach Hank?”

  Instead of speaking, Avery burrowed deeper under the covers.

  “I hope you feel better real soon, kiddo,” Hank said.

  “I’m sure she will.”

  Lyla led Hank to the window where they could talk without disturbing Avery. Looking down at the parking lot, she watched a young mother buckle her toddler into his car seat. The little boy kicked and squirmed, but the mother persisted and eventually succeeded in securing him.

  The scene made Lyla yearn for the time when her greatest problem had been convincing Avery to stay in her car seat. Avery was such an affectionate child; she always wanted to sit in Lyla’s lap. How naïve Lyla had been to believe life would be easier once Avery was older and could better understand.

  The furrow in the middle of Hank’s brow deepened. “Is Avery’s father coming? I didn’t realize he was part of her life.”

  Lyla shook her head and immediately changed the topic, wanting to avoid discussing Ronnie. “The operation took longer than expected, but things went really well. Unfortunately, the doctor won’t give Avery any more pain medicine until tonight, so she’s very uncomfortable.”

  “Poor kid.” Hank glanced at Avery before turning back to Lyla. “How can I help? Can I bring her a milkshake from the ice cream shop across the street? What about you? Have you eaten? I’d be happy to buy you a salad or a hamburger.”

  Lyla was touched by his considerate offer. “Thank you, but no. We’re fine.”

  A moment of awkward silence followed. Other than the trip up to Dallas for the Special Olympics last fall, Lyla had never seen Hank outside the gym. In the three years she’d known him, they’d only talked about Avery or the weather, and she wasn’t quite sure what to say to him. Part of her wanted him to leave, but part of her craved the companionship of another adult who cared about Avery.

  “Oh, I almost forgot.” Hank reached into the canvas messenger bag slung over his shoulder. “I brought you a little gift.”

  “You didn’t have to do that,” Lyla stammered, embarrassed.

  “It’s small. I know you like to read, and
I don’t think you have one.” He withdrew a leather case containing an e-reader.

  Unexpected heat flushed her face. “I can’t accept this. It’s too much.”

  “It’s not.” He pressed it into her hand. “I’m involved in a men’s prayer group, and one of the guys upgraded his reading device, so he asked if anyone was interested.”

  “Don’t you want it?”

  “I already have one. Anyway, I often see you at the gym reading while Avery has her lesson, so please take it.”

  She looked down at the gift. “Are you sure?”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome.” He grinned, and Lyla felt something between them shift. She’d never thought of Hank as anything more than Avery’s coach, but looking at him now, she noticed the kindness in his chocolate-brown eyes. He was a tall man with a thick mop of brown hair, and for the first time, she wondered if he had a girlfriend.

  Shocked and embarrassed by her thoughts, she diverted her gaze and opened the cover of the e-reader. To her surprise, she found the device was already loaded with dozens of books.

  Hank leaned over and pointed at the screen. “These were written by my sister. I told her about you and Avery staying in the hospital for a few days, and she gifted them to you.”

  “She’s a romance writer?” Lyla asked, judging by the books’ covers.

  Hank nodded. “Christian romance.”

  “Christian romance,” Lyla repeated the unfamiliar phrase. “Interesting. I didn’t know there was such a thing.”

  He laughed. “Until she started writing, I’d never heard of that genre either, but her books are actually pretty good.”

  Lyla smiled. “You’re sure you don’t have anyone else you’d rather give this to?”

  “Positive.”

  “Okay. Thank you, Hank. I love reading.”

  “I do, too. I’m glad you like it.” He adjusted his shoulder bag. “Can I ask you something?”

  Lyla’s gut tightened. “Sure.”

  Hank shoved his hands into his pockets and gave a hesitant grin. “It’s just that . . . I don’t usually date my students’ parents . . . and I don’t want things to be awkward between us, so it’s okay if you say no. My church is having a special dinner next Wednesday, and I was wondering if you’d like to come with me. We have dinner every Wednesday, but this Wednesday is guest night.”