Jillian's Promise

by Kristin Noel Fischer

  His question shocked her. Hank Brown was asking her out on a date? Her mind scrambled for the right answer. Yes, no, maybe? And most of all, why?

  “Avery can come, too, of course. The event is family friendly, and I know you don’t like to leave her. I always enjoy talking to you, and I’d love to get to know you better.”

  Lyla opened her mouth to speak but words failed to come.

  Hank gave an embarrassed chuckle. “There, I said it. My sister made me practice that speech a million times, and hopefully I didn’t mess up too bad.” He laughed. “I wasn’t going to tell you that part, but . . . well, it’s been a long time since I asked out a woman. Not that I’ve ever been much of a lady’s man.”

  Lyla smiled at his honesty and a warm feeling spread through her. “I’m flattered, Hank. Really. You’re a great guy, and you’ve done so much for Avery as well as the other kids at the gym. I know it’s not easy to ask someone out—”

  “Why do I feel like you’re about to turn me down?” he asked, a glimmer in his eye.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Oh, that’s fine. I understand.”

  Lyla cringed. “I really do appreciate you asking, but you don’t want to get involved with me.”

  “I don’t?”

  She shook her head. I’m an adulteress and a washed-up journalist. You own a successful business and participate in a men’s prayer group, for crying out loud. “No. I’m just ending a relationship, so I’m—”

  “With Avery’s father?”

  Lyla’s face grew hot. Only her college roommate knew about her relationship with Ronnie.

  “I’m sorry,” Hank said hastily. “It’s none of my business. I didn’t mean to pry, but Avery talks about her father all the time.”

  “She does?”

  He hesitated. “When the air conditioning broke at the gym, she blamed Daddy’s real wife. I don’t mean to upset you, but I thought you should know.”

  Lyla clenched the e-reader, wishing she could disappear. “My relationship with Avery’s father is complicated.”

  “I understand.”

  Did he? She studied him carefully, fearing his opinion of her had just dropped. How could a man like Hank—a man of prayer, patience, and church dinners—possibly understand her situation?

  He offered a quiet smile. “Lyla, if you ever need someone to talk to, or change your mind about coming to dinner on Wednesday, or just want to grab a cup of coffee . . . Well, the offer stands, okay?”

  “Oh . . . thank you.” In the seven years since she’d been with Ronnie, she’d been asked out, but never by anybody she cared about. Certainly, never by anybody as kind and sweet as Hank Brown.

  After Hank left, Lyla sat at her daughter’s bedside, thinking about him. Avery adored Hank so much, and the prepared speech he’d nervously given had been incredibly heartfelt. Maybe after she sorted out her life, she’d take him up on his offer for coffee.

  Or maybe not.

  After all, she didn’t want to fall back into the trap of being dependent on another man. Still, she needed to expand her circle of friends. Waiting alone during Avery’s surgery today had made that blatantly clear. Maybe Hank was God’s answer to her prayer for a friend.

  *

  A little later, Lyla sat reading when the door creaked opened. She looked up, expecting to see one of the nurses. Instead, Ronnie appeared, larger than life in sunglasses, a freshly pressed suit, and custom-made full-quill ostrich cowboy boots.

  “How are my girls?” He removed his sunglasses, and although he spoke in a whisper, his Texas-sized voice filled the room.

  “Daddy?” Avery’s little eyes widened, and she smiled in earnest for the first time since the surgery. “Daddy, mouth hurts.”

  Ronnie strode to her bedside and kissed her forehead so gently it transported Lyla back to the first time he saw Avery. The pregnancy had been completely unplanned, and early on, Lyla had decided to put the baby up for adoption.

  She’d told Ronnie not to worry about anything because the papers were in place, and she’d list the baby’s father as unknown on the birth certificate.

  After Avery was born, however, Lyla saw her daughter’s tiny almond-shaped eyes, the flat nose, and small mouth that characterized children with Down syndrome. In that moment, Lyla knew she couldn’t give up her daughter. Avery needed her!

  What Lyla hadn’t expected was how much she’d come to need and love Avery. Nor had she expected Ronnie would want any baby, let alone one with special challenges.

  A few days after Lyla brought Avery home, Ronnie came to the house. In his usual decisive manner, he strode to the bassinet and froze. Lyla braced herself for his reaction, fearing the worst.

  To her astonishment, he’d tenderly bent down and lifted Avery into his large arms, pressing her tiny body against his chest as though she were the most precious thing in the world.

  “She’s so beautiful. I can’t believe we made her.” His eyes filled with tears. “I can’t believe you gave me a child.”

  At that moment, Lyla had believed with every cell in her body that Ronnie would leave his wife. His marriage would be over, and soon all the lies and secrets would end.

  But Lyla had underestimated his wife, a woman who had a reputation for using force and manipulation to achieve her goals. According to Ronnie, Mary had threatened to destroy him if he ever left, so Lyla had agreed to be patient until he could file for divorce.

  She’d accepted the arrangement as temporary, just until Avery was a little older. Years later, however, she was still waiting. And years later, Ronnie was still treating Avery as though she were the smartest, most beautiful girl in the world. He never viewed her Down syndrome as a hindrance, only as part of her personality that made her special.

  Ronnie hugged his daughter and sank onto the bed beside her. “Did they give my princess some ice cream?”

  “Vanilla.”

  “Vanilla?” He tucked a strand of Avery’s hair behind her ear. “Vanilla is always your third choice. Chocolate first, strawberry second, vanilla third.”

  “Only vanilla.” Avery tugged at Ronnie’s tie and looked up at him with pleading eyes. “Daddy, watch TV? Please?”

  He shook his head. “Not today, sweetheart. When you come home, there’s going to be a big surprise waiting for you.”

  Avery’s eyes lit with excitement. “What?”

  “It’s a surprise.”

  “Daddy. Please. Tell me.”

  He laughed. “No way. I can’t tell you about the three-story Barbie townhouse with the elevator that goes up and down. That would ruin the surprise.”

  Avery giggled but immediately covered her mouth with her hand as tears filled her eyes. “Hurts.”

  He reached out and gently patted her arm. “I know, darlin’. Try to sleep, okay? You’ll feel better soon. I promise.”

  She hugged him and Ronnie tucked her into bed, pulling the covers up to her chin. “I love you, pumpkin.”

  “Wuv you.”

  He stood and walked toward Lyla. “How are you doing, darlin’?” he asked in his irresistible southern drawl. “I’m sorry I couldn’t be here earlier.”

  For a moment, Lyla felt herself drawn toward him. She imagined his arms wrapping around her, holding her tight, making her feel safe and secure. Then she remembered her resolve to change, and she dug deep to find the fortitude to keep her distance.

  Help me, Lord. If you really exist, please, help me.

  Squaring her shoulders, she looked Ronnie in the eye. “I know Avery appreciated seeing you, but you should go . . .” Her voice trailed off, revealing her sadness and lack of confidence. She didn’t want Ronnie to leave. She wanted him to stay so she wouldn’t be alone.

  But she was always alone, and that was the problem. A healthy relationship couldn’t thrive in a bubble of lies. She needed to be part of his life, not just a dirty secret he kept hidden from everyone.

  Still, letting go seemed impossible. While Lyla had enjoyed Hank’s visit, she did
n’t have the history with him like she did with Ronnie. She’d loved Ronnie a long time, and Avery bonded them together like only a child could.

  “Come here, darlin’.” Ronnie opened his arms. “Let me hold you. You must be exhausted.”

  “No.” Lyla kept her voice low so Avery couldn’t hear.

  Ronnie frowned. “No?”

  She glanced at Avery, relieved her daughter had fallen back asleep. “I can’t keep doing this, Ronnie. You have to make a decision and choose either me or your wife.”

  He exhaled slowly, as he always did whenever she brought up the subject of his marriage. “Lyla,” he cooed, rubbing her shoulder.

  “Don’t.” She crossed her arms and stepped back.

  He studied her carefully. “What’s going on? Are you seeing someone else?”

  Lyla blinked hard. “You know I’m not.”

  He scanned the room as if trying to determine the source of her change. “Who brought the balloons?”

  Despite her innocence, Lyla felt a momentary pang of guilt. “Avery’s gymnastics coach.”

  “Is that why you’re acting like this? Because there’s something going on between you two?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “Then what?”

  “I told you already. I can’t do this anymore. Today, I didn’t have anybody to sit with me while Avery was in surgery. Do you know how lonely that felt?”

  His shoulders slumped, and he looked at her with understanding. “I’m sorry.”

  She pushed out a slow, determined breath. “You need to make your decision and move on. I’ve waited long enough.”

  “I know you have, but I love you, Lyla. I promise, as soon as the election is over, I’ll end it with her. I want us to be a family. I do.”

  Lyla opened her mouth to speak, but her throat thickened and tears blurred her vision. Before she could resist, Ronnie pulled her into his embrace.

  With her face pressed to his broad chest, she couldn’t think. Couldn’t remember her ultimatums and desire for a different life. Couldn’t remember praying for God’s help in the chapel.

  Couldn’t do anything but breathe in the scent of him and wonder how she would ever break free.

  Chapter 12

  Jillian

  I found Keith’s excitement over my pot roast extremely flattering. At best, my cooking generated lukewarm enthusiasm. Even frozen pizza received more applause than anything I made from scratch. Growing up, my mother and Vicki had dominated the kitchen, leaving Bianca and me with an incredible ability to set the table—a talent not exactly appreciated by teenaged boys.

  As we sat down for dinner that evening, the doorbell rang. Assuming it was a package I’d been expecting, I told Keith and the boys to stay seated while I answered the door.

  To my bewilderment, I found Bryan standing on the front porch holding a large bouquet of red roses.

  “Hey.” I heard the false cheerfulness in my voice. “What are you doing here? I thought you were going to be out of town until next week.”

  “Well, hello to you, too.” Bryan handed me the flowers and kissed my cheek. “My meetings took less time than anticipated, so I came home early.”

  “That’s wonderful.” I stood in the doorway, trying to figure out how best to tell him about Keith. So much for my plan of picking up Bryan from the airport and discussing the matter over a candlelit dinner.

  Bryan gave an irritated smile. “Aren’t you going to let me in?”

  “Of course,” I said, not moving.

  Thankfully, his phone dinged and he glanced down at it, giving me time to think. Why, why, why had I delayed my decision to tell him about Keith?

  Bryan finished his text and looked up from his phone. “Do you want to walk downtown for dinner?”

  “Yes, definitely,” I agreed, relieved by the suggestion. We could walk downtown and sit at one of the sidewalk cafes where I could tell him about my ex-husband’s new living situation.

  Before I could figure out how to keep Bryan on the porch while I collected my purse and put the flowers in fresh water, Keith came to the door, calling my name. “Everyone is waiting on you for dinner, Jills. What’s the holdup? Are you coming?”

  “Keith?” Bryan’s voice tensed.

  Keith’s eyes narrowed, and I did my best to diffuse the situation. “Keith, you remember Bryan, right?”

  “No,” he said flatly, clearly lying. Maybe he didn’t remember meeting Bryan in person, but he obviously knew who he was.

  Bryan forced his best everything-is-fine smile. “I didn’t know you were out of the hospital. How nice of Jillian to have you over for dinner.”

  Keith’s shoulders relaxed as he realized he had the advantage in this situation. Casually, he rested a hand on my waist. “Oh, I’m not just here for dinner, Bryan. I’m living with Jillian and the boys now.”

  Bryan stiffened. “Excuse me?”

  “Jillian didn’t tell you?”

  “No, she didn’t.”

  I removed Keith’s hand from my waist and thrust the flowers at him. “Bryan and I are going out for dinner. Please put these roses in water and have the boys clean the kitchen when they finish eating. I’ll be back.”

  “You’re leaving?” Disappointment flooded Keith’s face. “You’re not staying for pot roast?”

  “No, I’m not.” I grabbed my purse from the entry table, told the boys good-bye, and joined Bryan on the front porch. “Good night, Keith. Don’t wait up.” Without a backward glance, I strode past Bryan to the sidewalk and kept walking.

  At the corner, Bryan caught up to me and demanded to know what was going on.

  I stopped walking, took a deep breath, and did my best to explain why Keith was staying in the garage apartment during his convalescent leave. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you earlier, but it’s such an unconventional situation, I wanted to tell you in person.”

  Bryan brushed off a piece of Bella’s dog hair from his slacks. “You’re too good to him. After all Keith has put you through, you’re not only forgiving, but generous and helpful.”

  I swallowed and tried not to feel guilty. “Helping him is the right thing to do.”

  “I agree. I just wish you would’ve told me. Seeing him with you like that was disturbing. I’ve never considered myself to be a jealous man, but I didn’t like how comfortable he seemed with you.”

  I placed a hand on Bryan’s arm. “I’m sorry. There’s nothing to worry about.”

  Bryan patted my hand and we resumed our walk to town. I wanted to loop my arm through his, but something held me back.

  I’d met Bryan a few years ago when I decided to buy a house. He’d acted as my realtor, patiently showing me every single option on the island. When I couldn’t find anything I liked, he suggested I make an offer on my rental house. Even though I’d lived there for years, buying it had never occurred to me. Bryan pointed out the house had everything I was looking for, so he negotiated a price with the owner that was more than fair.

  On the day we closed, Bryan asked me out for a celebratory drink, and we’d been dating ever since. He wasn’t interested in marriage, and neither was I, but we had a nice comfortable relationship that we both appreciated. Until Keith came back in my life, it’d been enough. Now I found myself sneaking sideways glances at Bryan’s profile, looking for something wrong in his handsome features.

  Although my sisters appreciated Bryan’s good looks, they found him extremely boring. What they didn’t see was his kindness and patience. Anna had once said she thought I was attracted to Bryan’s steadiness, and I suppose there was some truth to that. Hopefully, our relationship went beyond my need for stability.

  For the rest of the evening, Bryan and I attempted to make small talk about his trip and the upcoming charity gala for Chelsea’s Friends. Bryan had founded the nonprofit in honor of his cousin, a special education teacher, who’d died during a rock-climbing incident. The organization raised money to provide a better life for children with disabilities.

>   When I returned home, the house was quiet. I assumed Keith and the boys had already gone to bed, so I nudged Bella off the couch and took her outside to use the bathroom. Because the lights were on in the garage apartment and Keith hadn’t closed the blinds, I could see him playing cards with Matt and Drew.

  Melancholy filled me as I watched them. Keith and I had played endless card games with the boys when they were little—Go Fish, Kings Corners, Spoons, Spades. Drew and I often played Hearts at the ranch with my sisters, but Matt seldom participated. How had Keith convinced Matt to play tonight?

  Drew must’ve said something funny because both Keith and Matt threw their heads back and roared with laughter. It’d been ages since I’d seen Keith or Matt laugh with abandon like that. Keith took the cards, shuffled the deck, and dealt another round. The boys picked up their cards and grinned.

  I’d just spent the evening enjoying a nice dinner with one of the most popular bachelors on Rose Island, so why was I filled with regret that I hadn’t stayed home tonight? Why did I want to walk across the backyard, knock on the door, and ask Keith to deal me in?

  Did I simply want what I couldn’t have? Or was there more to my longing?

  *

  The next evening, I came home from work to find Keith in the kitchen, showing Matt how to make an omelet.

  “We’re cooking dinner.” Drew greeted me with a hug. “Dad taught me how to make bacon, and Matt’s cooking eggs.”

  I gave a bittersweet smile, remembering eggs and bacon was the first meal Keith ever cooked for me. I groaned inwardly. Could I not go one minute without remembering how things used to be with Keith?

  “Mom,” Drew said, “why don’t we ever have breakfast for dinner?”

  “I don’t know.”

  Keith winked at me. “How was work?”