by A. D. Ellis
When he returned to the room, I let him crawl under the covers and get comfortable before perching on the side of his mattress again.
“I can’t sleep with you sitting there like some creeper.” Cam chuckled.
Laughing, I asked, “Well, where should I sit? On the floor?”
“No, that would be weird, like some killer under my bed.” Cam patted the empty side of his bed.
Shrugging, I padded around to the other side and took a seat leaning against the headboard. We talked about the boys, the plan for the next day, the boat we’d been thinking about buying. At some point, Cam reached for my hand again, his sleepy voice rumbling, “Thanks for staying with me.”
Squeezing his hand, I whispered, “No problem.”
Our words became fewer, our voices more mumbled, until the next thing I knew I awakened to the morning sun’s first rays, streaming through the window. My neck cricked at a terrible angle. And my hand was still clutched in Cam’s.
The clock on his bedside table said it was early morning. I slipped my hand from his, and quietly made my way from his bed to mine. Knowing the boys would sleep for at least a couple more hours, I fell into my bed. I wanted to sleep, but my mind was too busy thinking about Cam.
Chapter 7
Cameron
In my defense, the dream really did fuck with me. Losing Deacon night after night in my dreams was terrible. But, losing Kade and the boys in the most recent nightmare was unimaginable. Could I have gone to sleep without Kade by my side? Of course. But, where was the harm? My best friend had admitted that he had some bi-curiosity, if not bi-sexuality, and he found me attractive. I wasn’t planning to put him in an uncomfortable situation, but having him in my bed, holding his hand, I’d felt relaxed when I fell back to sleep from a nightmare.
I felt guilty that I’d slept so soundly and comfortably when I knew Kade would likely fall asleep sitting up. I felt the moment he’d awakened next to me. I took it as a good sign when he didn’t stiffen and freak out. I mean, if I pursued something with him. Which I wasn’t. But, I liked that he didn’t scramble from my bed in disgust.
Smiling inwardly as I felt him gently remove his hand from my grasp and sneak from my bed, I couldn’t help but wonder where Kade and I would go with this new development in our relationship.
~*~*~*~
Kade and I pooled some extra money we’d been hanging onto for a special occasion. Our purchase was slightly extravagant, but it was something we’d use. And, we’d talked about it for a couple weeks, so it wasn’t a rash decision.
The boat was an absolute beauty. Nothing super flashy, but it would bring the six of us many days of fun out on the lake.
The boys worked together to name our new toy. Myles and Declan, being the oldest, declared the name should be Rocket, and the younger boys enthusiastically agreed.
Taking Rocket out for a maiden voyage turned out to be a day I knew the boys would never forget. There was a good chance Kade and I wouldn’t forget the day anytime soon either.
A beautiful day spread out before us. Warm sunshine sparkled on the glassy water, and a few wispy clouds floated in the slight breeze. Mother Nature was definitely giving hints of a gorgeous summer to come.
Before leaving the house and heading down our back stairs to the beach and boat dock, Kade and I slathered the boys and ourselves with sunscreen, packed a cooler with enough food to keep us satisfied for a week, grabbed a first aid kit, and filled a second cooler with water, juice, and soft drinks.
“Is it lunch time yet?” Myles asked as we descended the wooden stairs to the beach.
I laughed at the boy, “No, bud, we’re not even on the boat yet.” Ruffling his blond hair, I continued, “You ate breakfast not too long ago. Are you already hungry?”
“Not really,” Myles admitted. “But, I know there are sub sandwiches, chips, and cookies in there, and those are my favorite.”
“Well, the food will be ready when we’re hungry. I promise you’ll get all of your favorites,” I assured him before picking up a lagging Justin to carry him the rest of the way down the stairs behind Kade who was carrying Evan. The little boys’ legs sometimes couldn’t keep up with the bigger people.
Kade and I let the boys play on the beach until we had the boat loaded with our food, supplies, and all the necessities.
“Ahoy there, mates! Prepare to come aboard!” Kade called to the boys from the boat.
With whoops and hollers, the big boys dropped what they were doing and bounded toward Rocket, with the little ones scampering behind in delighted glee.
We went over the rules and safety precautions once again, and helped each child into their lifejacket. I assisted Declan and Myles in climbing aboard before handing a wriggling Justin and a giggling Evan up to Kade. When Kade reached for my hand, I didn’t even hesitate. I held on and let him pull me aboard. The movement brought us chest-to-chest, and I stumbled trying to catch myself. But, when Kade’s arms grabbed me by the shoulders to steady me, and his laughing eyes looked down at me, my heart stuttered.
“Sorry about that,” Kade murmured while the boys ran around the boat laughing and screaming.
“No worries. You don’t know your own strength,” I replied, turning my eyes up to stare at Kade’s plump pink lips. I could have stayed in his arms forever, but I saw the moment it became a little too real for Kade, and I stepped back. Relief mixed with confusion danced across Kade’s features, but he simply shook his head and made for his position as co-captain. As the only one of us who knew how to drive the boat, I took my place behind the wheel.
We traveled about five miles simply enjoying the view and waving hello to fellow boaters, before dropping anchor in an area the boys dubbed Turtle Cove because about twenty turtles were sunning themselves on logs.
“Looks like they have the right idea,” Kade nodded toward the turtles. “Time to start working on the summer tan.” Trying my best not to swallow my tongue, I turned away quickly when Kade stripped his shirt over his head. Before Kade’s talk of his bi-curiosity, I wouldn’t have thought a thing about my best friend being shirtless. But, since his admission, I couldn’t help but notice the sprinkling of light hair dusted on his chest and abs, the trim V of his waist, and his broad shoulders.
Mentally shrugging away the shot of longing I had while watching Kade secure the anchor and spread a blanket for the boys, I pulled my shirt over my head. Immediately feeling the warmth of the sun on my skin, I took a moment to soak it all in. There was never a day I didn’t miss Deacon, but days like this made the heartache a little easier.
Once we had the boys settled out of the sun with their lunches, I walked to the coolers perched on the bench seats and grabbed a sub sandwich and bottle of water. As I stood gazing out at the gorgeous natural beauty that lay before me, my skin prickled when I felt Kade close behind me. Leaning closer and reaching past me, his sun-warmed skin brushed against my back as he grabbed his own lunch and drink. He smelled of sunscreen, sweat, and sunshine. And he kept himself pressed against me slightly longer than seemed necessary. Was he flirting? Just giving some leeway to the bi-curiosity? Testing out his feelings in a non-threatening environment?
I wasn’t sure, but I knew I’d need to keep myself facing the water for several moments until my dick calmed down. I could only smile when I watched Kade reach down and attempt to inconspicuously adjust himself, as well. Oh, the places my mind could wander with that little tidbit of information.
After lunch, we found a nice open area with very little traffic and let the boys have some fun inner tubing. Myles and Declan insisted on riding the tube by themselves.
“Dad, we have life jackets on, please let us go alone,” Declan begged.
Kade held the little boys on his lap on the tube while I drove the boat. Keeping the speed slow so I knew the boys wouldn’t fall off, I drove in zigs, zags, and circles, waving at the boys as they screamed with laughter. Coming to a stop, I heaved the boys into the boat and helped them dry off before turning
to assist Myles and Declan in their preparations for more tubing.
“I think the little dudes are ready to crash.” Kade nodded toward Justin and Evan. I smiled as their heads lolled back against the edge of the boat as they fought off sleep.
“Hey, big guys. Why don’t you lay down a few minutes?” I crouched beside the sleepy boys. “Here, wrap up in your towels.”
They both mutely nodded, their lids heavy.
They were asleep within seconds. Myles and Declan took a few more rides on the tube, but soon even they were dragging. Helping them dry off, and wrapping them in their sun-warmed towels, I told them to curl up on the other bench. The two of them attempted to stay awake for several moments, but the rocking of the boat and the soft roar of the engine lulled them to sleep.
“Want to learn to drive the boat?” I asked Kade.
He smiled. “Definitely.” He took his place at the wheel, glancing nervously at me. “It’s not hard, right?”
“Nah, you’ll get the hang of it quickly. Mainly just make sure you stay away from the shallow areas and other vessels. Always watch for wave runners and skiers.” Reaching from behind him, I messed with some of the toggles and buttons, not really needing to adjust anything, but wanting a reason to tease him with my proximity as he’d done earlier.
When my bare chest made contact with his back and Kade drew in a sharp breath, I figured I’d pressed my luck enough for one day. I stepped backward and instructed him for several moments as we traveled up and down the lake[PC42].
By the time we tied off at the dock, the boys had stirred from their naps.
When the four boys saw the grandmas sitting on the beach with their legs immersed in the water as they lounged in the beach chairs, the kids immediately got a shot of energy that came as much from seeing the women as it did from the naps they’d taken.
“Grandma!” the boys yelled.
I helped them all out of their lifejackets before heaving them over the side of the boat and onto the dock. The noise of their running feet sounded like an army of marching soldiers.
Kade and I stood on the deck of the boat and watched our moms prepare to intercept the incoming balls of excitement. Both women caught our gazes mere moments before they were bombarded with arms and legs and kisses. There was definitely happiness and curiosity directed our way in those few short seconds.
Our parents came over for dinner. Kade and I sent them outside to play with the kids and visit with each other while he and I started dinner. I found I enjoyed cooking a lot more when Kade was in the kitchen. Deacon had done most of the cooking before the leukemia. He was a master, and he belonged in the kitchen creating gourmet meals. When he got sick, I took over the meals. But, boxed macaroni and cheese didn't compare to Deacon's homemade dishes. Having Kade in the kitchen, adding his cooking skills and his assistance, made the chore much easier.
"That marinade is perfect." Kade dipped a finger in to taste the mixture I was preparing to brush on the pork chops and chicken.
"Thanks," I replied. "I got the recipe on some grilling site. I thought it sounded good."
"I'll get the broccoli and cauliflower washed and cut up. Let me know when the meat is about twelve minutes from being done so I can start the veggies in the steamer." Kade pulled the fresh vegetables from the refrigerator and began to wash them. "Should I do a cheese sauce for the boys?"
"Probably. I mean, I'd rather they would eat the veggies without the sauce, but the cheese seems to encourage them to eat it more than anything else. So, go ahead." I couldn't help but roll my eyes when I spoke. What was it about coating something with cheese that made people more likely to eat it? At least I knew Kade would make a cheese sauce from scratch rather than tossing cubes of processed cheese into the microwave. His mom had taught him how to make the sauce. Kade called it his one true specialty.
By the time dinner was ready, the kids were grimy and sweaty. When they clamored through the backdoor, I halted them. "Whoa, slow down. I don't know who these people are. I called some boys in to dinner, not four dirt monsters." I teased them while they took off their shoes.
"It's us, Dad!" Declan exclaimed.
"Monster. Rawr!" Justin pretended.
"I think we better go wash the dirt monsters down the sink," I said. "I'll take the littles to the back bathroom. Big boys, you head to the other bathroom. Use the restroom, wash with soap and warm water. Then we'll eat dinner."
Ruth followed the big boys to the bathroom. "I'll supervise." She winked at me.
My mother followed me to the back bathroom with the little boys. "I'll do their hands and faces if you'll help them potty and dry off."
"Deal," I said. "Now, which monster shall we wash first?" I pretended to ponder the decision while looking at the two grubby little guys standing at my feet.
"Me monster!" Evan cheered.
"Okay, let's wash this monster first." I picked him up and handed him to my mom.
"You and Kade seem to be settling in nicely." Mom’s soft brown eyes watched me with interest as she pushed her silvery gray hair behind an ear.
"Yeah, it's been great having someone here to help."
"Your dad and I can always help, you know."
"I know, but you guys have your own place and your own jobs. You already help tremendously with the boys. Having Kade move in helped us both in a lot of ways." I placed Justin on his little potty seat on the toilet.
Mom watched me for a moment.
"What?"
She smiled and shook her head. "Nothing. I'm just glad you have a friend like Kade."
I felt like she had more to say, and I wondered briefly if she was thinking about the relationship rumors that were likely going around town. But, I didn't want to delve into it at that moment.
"Yeah, he's great." I agreed. "Having him here has made things a lot easier."
Mom nodded.
Once Evan and Justin were both washed and dried, we headed back to the dining room. Kade had set the table, and Declan and Myles came running into the room moments later.
"Let's eat!" Myles exclaimed.
Glancing around the table as the ten of us enjoyed the meal, I could only smile. I missed Deacon every day, I doubted I'd ever stop missing him. But, my boys were happy and healthy, they had their best friends with them. My parents and Kade's parents were true blessings. Kade was facing a rough patch, but I was determined to stand by his side as he traveled down the path Stephanie had forced upon him.
Kade caught my eye and smiled. A fiery shot zinged through my veins, and for a brief moment, I wondered what it would be like to have Kade as my true partner, my lover. Pushing down the thought, I returned his smile. It was too soon. Wasn't it? Plus, I'd only asked him to move in with us to help everyone involved. How could I move him in and then try to force a relationship on him? Besides, he'd barely started thinking of his bisexuality again. I was sure he wasn't ready to enter into anything with a man. At least not a grieving single father.
We'd take our friendship journey one day at a time. I needed more time, I needed to heal, and I needed to learn how to be Cameron without Deacon. Kade needed to fight for his boys. He needed time to do some soul searching, needed to get comfortable with the real Kade. Neither of us would be smart to jump into anything relationship-wise anytime soon.
The boys were going to a movie with Ruth and John, then spending the night with my parents. Kade and I had a whole Saturday to ourselves. I woke up with plans running through my head. We could grab some lunch, take out the boat, catch a movie and a nap, and maybe head out for dinner later. The thought of hitting the gym before lunch on the lake sounded good, as well.
Once the boys were packed up and headed to the theater with Kade's parents, I presented Kade with my ideas.
"Man, that sounds amazing." Kade winced. "But, um, I sort of have plans for today."
My heart sank.
Chapter 8
Kade
The look on Cam’s face was at odds with the words coming out of his m
outh.
“Oh, okay. No worries. Just thought we’d make use of a day without the boys.” Cam turned to the refrigerator to get the milk. Pouring himself a glass, he continued. “So, um, what are you doing today?”
Was he upset I had plans? I mean, surely he had only come up with ideas for us to stay busy, right? It wasn’t like he’d made the plans thinking specifically of spending the whole day with me. Right?
“Oh, um, there’s a new guy at work. He’s new to town, asked me to show him around. Figured it was the nice thing to do.” I felt stupid now, admitting to the plans I’d made. When Alan had asked me to grab coffee and show him around, I’d agreed. I didn’t find the man attractive, and I wasn’t looking to date right away. Men or women. But, it felt good to know I had plans instead of just being Kade the single father going through a divorce.
“So, like a date?” Cam asked.
“Nah, nothing like that.” Guilt ate at me. “Damn. I really wish I’d known you wanted to do something. I wouldn’t have agreed to show Alan around.”
“No, it’s seriously no problem at all.” Cam said the words, but I could tell he was disappointed.
His disappointment likely had more to do with knowing he had a whole day by himself than with me not being available to hang out.
“Tell you what. Why don’t I grab coffee with Alan and show him the main parts of town he needs to know. Then, I’ll head home and we can have the rest of the day.” I didn’t like the idea of Cam being home by himself, trying to stay busy and keeping his mind off Deacon.
“You don’t need to do that.” Cam shook his head.
“Really, I mean, how much does this town have that I need to show him? He knows the college and the area around his apartment. I’ll give him a quick tour then head back home.” I could tell Cam didn’t want to agree to the plan, but I also knew he was desperate to have someone with him today.
“Yeah, sounds good. I’ll head to the gym. Want me to pick up lunch after? We can take it out on the boat if you want.”