I'll Be Seeing You

by A. P. Hallmark

  Burying his face in my hair, he takes a deep breath. I get goose bumps when he exhales and moans into my ear.

  "I need to go. You look tired, and it's been a long day," he whispers, his lips against my temple.

  "So soon?" I whine.

  Not wanting him to leave, I hold onto his arm and lay my head against his chest.

  "I guess you won't be at the café tomorrow, huh? You and Scott have your meeting?" he asks with a hint of sarcasm. It makes me grin.

  "Yes, we’re meeting here to go over the details of the first book. Apparently the male character has an air about him, and Scott wants to make sure he gets him down correctly," I explain. Matthew's arm tightens around me, and when he brings my chin up, I feel his warm breath on my face. His soft warm lips touch mine and toy with them, tickling me with the tip of his tongue.

  "What kind of 'air' does this male character have?" he asks, kissing my nose.

  "Well, he has a sexual dominance-type of air, sexy, self-assured, or at least that's what the write-up of the story indicated."

  "You tell Mr. Wood that your kitty is mine, Joy," he orders.

  "But I don't have a kitten," I reply, and he smiles against my lips.

  "Oh, yes, you do, and I tasted her tonight and no one," he says, pinching my chin firmly between his finger and thumb, "No one will taste her but me."

  "Yes, Doctor.” I kiss him in agreement after realizing what he meant.

  "Okay, walk me to the door," he says, getting up and pulling me with him. We walk arm-in-arm to the front door and I refuse to release him.

  "I'll walk down with you; I need to take Conrad out." I don't need to put a full halter on him since we’re just going downstairs.

  "Come on, boy." His dog tags chink as he runs over to me, dancing around the living room. Once we make it through the door, he takes off in a dead run, circling the courtyard. Matthew pulls me into his arms and simply holds me. He's pensively quiet.

  "Is something wrong?" I ask, wrapping my arms around his trim waist.

  "No. Something is perfect," he replies, swaying me back and forth, as if we are dancing. My cell phone disrupts our quiet time and the voice activator says that it’s Scott. I don't want to answer, and I should press ignore and call him later, but he never calls and I fear it may be important.

  "Hello," I answer.

  "Oh, hello, Scott," I say and feel Matthew's arms fall slightly away from me. I squeeze his waist tighter with my free arm.

  "Yes, I am busy, actually. Matthew is here for dinner, remember? I asked him over while we were at Julia's?" I wanted to let him know that I wasn't happy with what he did to Matthew today.

  "Yes, I know we’re meeting tomorrow.” He is calling to deliberately interrupt my date with Matthew, to remind me of something I already knew.

  "Yes, Scott, I will see you in the morning. Goodbye."

  I’m kind of angry that he did this. He knows very well that I had plans this evening.

  "You know, don't you?"

  I can feel Matthew’s tension and annoyance since Scott called.

  "Know what?" he asks.

  "You know what Scott is trying to do, don't you? That he intentionally interrupted us. He’s flirting with me, knowing that you and I are … you know." I stumble over my words because I don't know exactly what we are. He did say I was his, but our situation is still so new and young, I have no idea what we have going on here.

  "Yes, I know what he's doing. Just be careful, okay?" he says, holding me tighter into him.

  "I will. I promise. I just want you to know that I know what he’s doing as well. I’m safe around him. I just need to talk to him and tell him to back off." I explain, turning away from him. "Come on, Conrad, let's go inside." As soon as I call his name, I hear his paws thumping on the ground, running toward me from across the yard.

  "You go ahead, Matthew. Conrad and I are safe to go up alone. He’ll take care of me, won't you, boy?" I say, patting Conrad's side while holding onto Matthew's hand.

  "Okay, beautiful. Thank you for dinner and thank you for … you know … earlier. I’ll be dreaming about tonight," he says wistfully, kissing me long and deep. I feel my body respond, wanting him.

  "I enjoyed it, too. It’s not something I will forget in a hurry, I promise you that," I admit, leaning into him.

  "Good night, Matthew." I can feel his eyes watching me, making sure I'm safely inside. Once I close and lock the door, I nearly pee my pants in excitement and run to my phone to call Laura.

  ~.~

  Turning around to see her close the door behind her, I get a sinking feeling. I hate walking away from her. My hands cling tightly to the steering wheel as I drive away from the curb. What is this need to be near her and this overwhelming want of her?

  Arriving home, I open the door to an empty, silent house, and it suddenly hits me that it’s just too big for just one person. I should sell it and get a condo in a high-rise that overlooks Seattle. This house was designed for a family and I try to envision kids running through the kitchen into the family room and notice the fireplace. I will need to block that off.

  Does Joy want children? The blind have kids all the time. I think about her and her medical history and really want to know, but I notice that every time the topic gets too close to her and her medical history, she quickly changes the subject. She never seems to want to discuss it, and I think it's time. If my new procedure could help her, why the hell not?

  Changing out of my jeans and into a pair of sleep pants, I get myself a glass of juice and climb into bed with my research file and computer. If I want to get this recognized, I need to look into setting up medical trials. After sending an email to Krista to set up a meeting with my research team to start organizing the clinical trials, I also send an email to the IT department to do a dress rehearsal for the presentation. I know it's ready, but I won't take any chances.

  After my eyes start to burn, I look at the time and nearly fall out of bed … twelve-thirty. Hurriedly, I close my laptop and put it on the bedside table and crawl under the blankets. It's getting cooler at night, and I like a cold room and an even warmer bed, preferably a warm body next to me. Her body. One day soon, she will be in my bed.

  Does she sleep in the nude? Closing my eyes, I think of her groomed sex and the downy softness of her trimmed upper area. The soft bare skin of her sweet lips and oh, God, the way she spread her thighs, welcoming me. Lifting her hips and wanting more. I want every bit of it, every bit of her.

  ~.~

  I'm in a nervous funk this morning. So much is riding on this trip to New York tomorrow, and I wish I could meet Joy this morning, but she has yet another meeting with Scott. After entering the café and, even though I know she's not there, I glance at her table anyway. It's empty.

  "Good morning, Myra," I say, laying a ten on the counter.

  "Good morning, Doctor. How are you this fine morning? No friend today?" she asks as she makes my espresso.

  "She has a meeting this morning and can't make it," I say, smiling at her.

  "Well, here you go. Would you like a muffin to go with it?" she asks.

  "Not today, Myra, thanks." I drop the change into the tip jar and head to the table where I used to sit before Joy happened in my life.

  After Myra brings me a second coffee while I pore over my files yet again, I hear her beautiful laugh travel across the room. Surprised, my head whips in her direction and see Scott escorting her to her seat. I’m equally surprised that Conrad is not with her. My heart takes a beating, when he places his hand on her lower back and the other on her arm as he guides her to her chair. She beams at him, smiling that smile that I wanted reserved only for me.

  She doesn’t know I'm here, and like a little brat, I keep my head down in my file and sneak glances at them from the corner of my eye. Myra’s pitying glances don’t go unnoticed either. Putting my eyes back down on my file, I take another sip of coffee, risking another glimpse. He’s crouched down in front of her and they’re absorbed
in a tight embrace. I cringe when I see him hug her breasts into his chest. Watching as she kisses his cheek, her lips linger there a little too long for just a friendly kiss. After she pulls back to whisper something to him, Scott stands up and pulls her up with him, hugging her and swaying them back and forth just like we did in the courtyard last night.

  What did she say to him that warranted him pulling her out of her seat so that he can hold her like that? This is all too intimate to watch.

  Forcing my eyes back to my file, I lay my forehead in the palm of my hand. Sneaking another look, they’re still hugging, and he's whispering in her ear.

  "Joy," I whisper out loud, continuing to watch. He finally lets her go and helps her back to her seat, then takes her hands into his.

  I quickly gather my papers, and when I steal another glance, I see them look my way. She knows I'm here now. He whispers something to her, and she sits up in her seat. When I see him smirk at me, he mouths, “She’s mine”. I give him a nod as I walk out the door, not looking back.

  Tucking my file under my arm, and with long strides, I make it back to my office in no time at all.

  "Krista, I don't want to be disturbed … by anyone," I say, shutting and locking my office door. I tossing my file on the coffee table, and the force of it spills the contents onto the floor.

  Resting my elbows on my knees, my hands thread through my hair, totally destroying it. What the fuck just happened?

  Thinking through the events of last night, going over every single detail in my mind, I admonish myself. Am I an idiot for thinking she was mine? We haven’t made it exclusive, so do I have a right to hold any claim to her?

  Abruptly, my phone rings, startling me out of my thoughts. It's her ringtone — I hit ignore. It rings again, and its Jessie's ringtone — I hit ignore. When Joy and Jessie call again, I turn my phone off.

  "Krista, will you have Dr. Stevens make my rounds for me today? I'm going home to work on my presentation," I say into the intercom of my desk phone. Gathering my files, my jacket and my cell, I walk out the door.

  "Is everything okay?" She knows. She always knows.

  I shake my head and walk toward the elevators. Just as I am about to hit the button, Jessie steps out.

  "You ignoring my calls, Matthew?"

  "Yes."

  "Where are you going?" he asks, very astutely noticing my arms full of files heading toward the elevator.

  "Jessie, I'm going home. Is that all right with you, or do I need your permission first?" I ask sarcastically, as I walk past him. Grateful the elevator doors are still open, I step inside and inwardly dare him to get in with me. Staring at his shoes, I will them to stay planted in place and let out the breath I’ve been holding as the doors close.

  Pulling my phone out of my breast pocket, I have two voicemails and know they’re both from her. I'm not mad at her. Hell! I'm not even angry at Scott. I'm angrier at myself that I allowed myself to open up to her. Maybe it was all too soon. Maybe I'm not ready for a relationship. Maybe Joy isn’t either. Maybe she’s not sure what she wants.

  Maybe … just maybe Scott should jump off a cliff.

  ~.~

  Watching the numbers tick down to the first floor, I step out as soon as the doors open and I instantly smell it. Perfume is so thick and pungent one can’t miss the green cloud that follows in her wake.

  "Matthew! Finally," she shrieks. "I've been trying to talk to you, but the warden over there won't let me past his desk," Emma says, cooing and slithering up to me. Her fake syrupy tone turns my stomach. It always has, but she's perfected it, I see.

  "Emma, what the hell are you doing here?" I demand, impatiently. I’m appalled that she even thought to show her face to me again. She's changed. She looks fake. I guess silicone and Botox will do that to you.

  "You’re trespassing, Emma. Get the hell out of my building," I say loudly. Apparently a little too loud because everyone is looking in our direction. I really don’t care.

  "Eugene," I shout. "Get her the hell out of my building." As I storm through the now silent lobby, her heels click on the tiled floor as she trails behind me.

  "Matthew?" A sweet voice says behind me, and I snap my head around at the sound.

  "Joy. What are …?" Taking a step closer to her, I guide us to a quiet corner, looking around us to make sure we are alone.

  "You weren't taking my calls, so I thought it best to come see you," she says in a shaky voice.

  "Listen, Joy, I'm on my way out.” I see the disappointment on her face. “I'll … I'll call you, okay?" I turn and walk toward the door toward the garage.

  I know she’s upset, and I feel bad for that, but this is for the best. It’s just so easy with her, and I let my guard down but, damn, I'd be lying if I said this doesn't hurt. It hurts more than I ever thought it would.

  Making it home in record time, I’m inwardly surprised I didn't find myself on the receiving end of a speeding ticket. But the frightening part is, I don’t remember the drive home.

  Walking into a quiet house, I begin undressing, starting with my tie. I remove my suit, dropping it piece by piece as I trudge upstairs to my room. Stepping into the shower, I rest my forehead against the wall and savor the heat of the water as it runs down my back. As soon as the cold water snaps me back to reality, I realize that, at some point, I have unknowingly dropped to my knees.

  Slowly, I rise to my feet, wrap up in my thick bathrobe and lay down on my bed. Thankfully, that's all I remember.

  "Matthew? Matthew, are you all right?" A familiar voice says quietly. Opening my eyes, Maddie is kneeling on the floor next to my bed.

  "What are you doing here, Maddie?" I ask, annoyed. Taking my pillow, I bury my head under it.

  "I'm here to check up on you. Krista said you weren't in the best of shape when you left the office today," she explains, as she rubs her hand over my back. "What's going on, big brother?"

  "Oh, nothing. Nothing that a bottle of vodka won't fix," I say.

  "Well, just so you know, the grapevine was in overdrive this afternoon." I peek out from under the pillow and look at her.

  "What do you mean? What grapevine?"

  "Well, Joy called Laura. She called Brian and he called me. I believe Jessie is in the mix somewhere as well."

  "Don't, Maddie. Just leave it alone, all right? Please? I just want to forget about it." I bury my head back under the protection of padding.

  "Joy knows something is wrong, but she doesn't know what it is. Can you tell me?"

  "No."

  Getting more persistent, she continues. "Matthew, what happened?" It's just a matter of time before she goes postal, and it's not a pretty sight when she does.

  "Maddie, please. Just leave it, and me, alone for a while, all right? I'll get over this. I just need some time," I muffle through my pillow.

  "Did Joy do something?" She won’t give up.

  "No. She didn't do anything wrong. She just wasn't ready for me … for us. I thought there was something there that really wasn't, so just leave it alone, Maddie. Please, just go," I say, hoping it’s enough to satisfy her.

  "I'm going down to make you some dinner. It's late, and by the looks of it, with your clothes all over the floor, you came in and crashed as soon as you got home." She gets up from her knees and heads towards the door.

  "Come down when you’re ready. I'll have dinner on the table." She leaves, shutting the bedroom door behind her.

  Eventually, I get up, get dressed and head downstairs, I can hear Maddie running interference on the phone.

  "But, Joy, what did he see? You were in the café with Scott, that's not a big deal. Did he see something that made him believe things have changed?"

  "Maddie? What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I yell, tired of the interference. “What part of leave me alone don’t you understand?” Angry beyond words, I turn and head back upstairs. "Just lock the door behind you," I bark out at her before slamming my bedroom door.

  ~.~

 
; "Matthew, man, what’s up, dude? Are you ever going to tell me what happened between you and Joy? I hope you do, because you are one bastard to live with right now," Jessie says, looking straight at me.

  "Jessie, I need to focus on what I came here for. Can you allow me that? If not, then you need to get your own suite," I admonish him. Frankly, I just don't want to hear about Laura or all the sex he’s getting and I certainly don’t want to talk about what happened between Joy and me.

  "Hey, there’s mom and dad," I say, smiling at them.

  "Mom, I've missed you so much," I say, wrapping her in a huge bear hug.

  "Dad, how are you?" I ask, shaking his offered hand.

  "Mommy!" Jessie picks her up and spins her around, dodging the passengers trying to walk around them.

  "Jessie, put me down this instant," my mom says through her giggles. When he does, he turns to my dad.

  "Jessie, if you pick me up and call me Daddy, I'll tell everyone that you wear ladies’ lingerie under your lab coat." I burst out laughing, and my mom stands there with her mouth hanging open.

  "Do you really, Jessie?" she asks, sounding seriously naïve, "Because if you do, I have a drawer full of last year's designs you can have." She redeems herself, and laughs behind her hand.

  "Don't worry, Mom, your nighties are too small," he says, draping his arm over her shoulder, walking through the airport with her tucked into his side.

  "Let's get out of here, Dad, we can have dinner at the hotel if you want."

  After a pleasant and entertaining evening, we make it to our suite, where I sit and begin poring over my presentation again. Annoyingly, I find my mind drifting to Joy a little too often and catch myself wanting to pick up my phone to call her. Fortunately, I bring myself back to focus on the matter at hand. I’ll have time after the presentation to deal with my personal matters.

  Getting up early the following morning, I call room service, order breakfast and for the last time, go over my presentation in my head. I’m confident that I can answer any question or scenario they throw at me today. I'm ready, both physically and mentally.