Murmur of the Lonely Brook

by Debashis Dey

  She knew she could not contest the decision; she had to accept it. If she didn’t, she would be marked as an outcast and thrown out of the house. There would be no place she could go. She also knew that her world would not be the same again. She knew the meaning of love would be lost forever. True, she enjoyed his brother’s infatuations and also floated with his dream sometimes, but in her mind, the image of love was always around one person. Was it that he did not find her love strong enough, not passionate enough, that he could share her so easily?

  She looked at him in pain. How could the person she trusted so much betray her love? Had he ever loved her? She felt very much like a commodity that had no say in the trade, or who would acquire it. How could he decide like that?

  She looked away. She went to the window and looked outside. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Outside the sky was dark and the wind gathered speed and grew into a storm. A blizzard came from the south and hit the eastern peaks, sweeping the snow off the pine trees and blowing them down on the valley. The trees swayed violently and the wind started brushing the rocks and boulders in broad furious strokes; the deposits forming on them rode the storm to scatter everywhere. The blinding blizzard moved from one peak to the other like a caged leopard, knocking down poles, flags, tiles, and all in its path.

  Nisha stood still as a rush of snow came along with a gust of wind and plastered the window. Another came soon to clean it and then a burst of wind approached, twisting and twirling with snow, and hit the house, shaking the foundation. The front yard, the logs, the grass, everything disappeared below a covering of white. Huge slabs fell from the rooftops, blocking the roads, lanes, and steps. Pravin left the room while Nisha sobbed silently near the window. Her sobs floated across the ranges and finally condensed into a single teardrop, which fell on the river and flowed toward some unknown destination.

  ***

  Shevak came in late. He had been struck by the storm and had snow all over him. He changed and sat next to the fire with the others. Parvati gave him a glass of hot water. She lit a candle and placed the meat on the bukhari to warm it up. Diwakar told everyone about Naresh’s son and Parvati listened intently.

  “They need to call the Lama to perform puja. If there is an evil spirit, he needs to be driven out.”

  “It was all his fault and his son is paying for it,” Shevak said. Everyone was aware that he neglected his wife and spent most of his time with his brother’s widow.

  The meat was delicious and all ate silently. Outside the storm lessened. Nisha fiddled with her food for some time and then ate a little. No one in the room was aware of the storm that raged within her mind, devastating her.

  At night, Pravin found Nisha sleeping on her side with her back toward him and her head buried in the pillow. He placed an arm around her but she remained silent. He realized that she was upset and that it would take time to make peace within her mind. He hoped she would realize what was good for the family. He left her alone.

  ***

  The storm ceased at night and took away the clouds with it. The valley woke to an azure sky with bright sunlight dazzling across the snow. The villagers pushed their way through the snow. A few stray dogs followed them. Everyone was busy clearing their compounds and roofs. A few trees had fallen, blocking a major part of the road and forcing everyone to skirt it. Dayawanti abused the PWD officials, as they always came late to this part of the valley. Balbir smiled at her as he sipped his tea.

  “Yours words won’t make them come earlier. They will clean the approach first and then reach here.”

  “But, Bhaiya, I am out of stock. I have almost nothing to sell except these snacks.”

  True she had only a few cabbages, which had shrunk in size and turned black, and a few potatoes with sprouts showing on them.

  “Ask Lalaji to get some when he returns,” Balbir said and waited for her reply with a smile. Lalaji had left a few days back to see his second wife in Bilaspur and he knew Dayawanti was upset.

  “You think that man would carry goods? You think he will find time after having a good time with that witch? He will enjoy the warm comfort of his home and his preferred lady,” she fumed.

  “Then you should close the shop and rest for a few days.”

  “I cannot rest. If he finds out he will abuse me like an animal.”

  Shevak came in a while later with Mahajan. He had been out since morning to assess the damage.

  “Five poles are down between Sangla and our village,” he announced.

  “Does that mean we will be without power for another week?” Balbir asked.

  “Maybe less if I can gather more people from the village.”

  Balbir nodded, but he also knew that power was not that important, except for lights and TV and there were not many TV sets in the village. He was more worried about the road blockage, as that meant his Jeep taxi service would remain stagnant.

  “We also need to check the upper reaches.” Shevak looked at Mahajan.

  Chitkul was ten kilometers away but another two thousand feet up. It was a small village of about seven hundred people. Being the last village on the road, it suffered the most. Snow blocked the road to Chitkul for most of the winter and supplies remained out of their reach. The people did not migrate such long distances and preferred to remain in their houses braving the severe cold. Shevak knew it would be weeks before they could restore power but that was quite common in this region. He decided to make a trip in the next few days once he was able to fix the poles and restore power in the village.

  All of them turned around as they saw Arvind running down the road at great speed. A little ways behind him, Amarchand came running with his big rifle in hand. Everyone stood up, as they thought he was chasing Arvind, but he waved at them and pointed to the river.

  “There is a buck out there.”

  In winter, most of the springs and water sources froze and sometimes the deer came down to the river. They mostly came at night but sometimes a few desperate ones came during the day. The villagers thought these were a gift from the Devta and killed them if they could. The kill was then offered to the Devta after a puja and then everyone had the meat.

  A few men came running down from the village as they heard the gunshots and joined them in the chase. The dogs also joined in and all ran down to the river.

  The deer, quite young, was first startled by the gunshots but soon realized the imminent danger and ran along the riverbank. For the villagers, running in the snow was not easy and the rifle was quite old to offer proper aim. The deer ran through the gorge and escaped along the river to the valley below.

  Shevak and Balbir watched from the road above. Soon the party came back disheartened.

  “You and your gun are both good for the museum,” Balbir said.

  “My father killed a leopard with this gun. Don’t make fun of it.”

  Everyone settled down at Lalaji’s shop and recalled the various old tales of hunting.

  ***

  Parvati glanced at Nisha. She was making wool while Nisha soaked some dried peas and spinach in hot water. Since morning, she had worked silently without uttering a single word or looking up. Parvati guessed something was wrong. Then she realized or rather her wisdom told her that Chotu must have spoken with her. She remembered she couldn’t find her during the storm last evening. She thought for a while.

  “Are you upset about something?” she asked.

  Nisha looked at Parvati, and Parvati saw her gloomy face and moist eyes.

  “Aama, do you think this is right? You all could have married him easily to a beautiful bride. This was beyond my dreams and I am in great pain.” She started sobbing again.

  “I would have done so if he wanted, but both brothers are in agreement. I can understand it is a surprise for you but I also believe you can adjust. There are many women here with more than one husband.”

  “But, Aama, I love only your elder son and for Diwakar I have affection. I know he is good and adorable but how can I love b
oth of them equally?”

  “If you ask me, I cannot answer that. I am illiterate. I don’t know the meaning of love; neither do the other women in this village. For us, it is a life of labor until we die. In this life, we get food, shelter, and clothes. Maybe it is different elsewhere, but here this is the way it is. I am sure that with time, you will also come to terms with everything.”

  “I don’t know if I can. I never wanted this life.”

  Parvati saw that she was a bit calmer, and she knew she needed to be at her side.

  “We never get what we want in life. Look at me. Do you think I wanted this life? Maybe you should come with me to Lamaji and listen to hymns.”

  Nisha remained silent and continued with her work.

  At night, Parvati thought about it and decided to ask Lamaji about a good date in the coming month. It was the month of Poush, as per their calendar, and an inauspicious month. So the announcement would only happen next month. The first marriage was important while the second one was a mere revelation to relatives and friends.

  She made a mental list of relatives. As it was, she had to call all the women shortly for a meal. Every woman treated all other women among the relatives, far and near both, once a year. It was generally meat and poltu. Parvati decided to use the occasion to make a casual announcement.

  Nisha slept with her back to Pravin, who wondered what was so wrong about his proposal. This was a common thing and no one complained. Instead of one, she would now have two husbands. And both would take care of her and the family. Also, the family would remain united.

  Nisha sobbed silently on her pillow. She wanted to run away, far beyond the hills and the meadows. Run away to her Sheru, to her aaya.

  The mountains glimpsed at the boulders on the slopes. The river, which was flowing in a torrent, hit the boulders, and divided into two, forming an island never to be reached by anyone.

  Chapter 17

  It was the day of Tang-Tang. Parvati searched among her cooking utensils and found a silver plate broken near the edge. She remembered it had been a gift from Shevak’s aunt, but the ritual involved was important. During Tang-Tang, one member from each family went out with a stick banging against a broken utensil, which he or she threw away at the far end of the village. If there was nothing broken at home, then the villagers carried tin or anything metal that could make a noise. This was a symbolic ritual to drive away the evil spirit from each home.

  Parvati joined her neighbors and all of them marched down the road. Soon more villagers joined and the noisy procession marched ahead. Naresh’s wife came out with a large brass vessel. The family was scared after the recent mishap that injured their son. The doctors at Sangla diagnosed a spinal injury and advised a consultation with a specialist in Chandigarh.

  The procession reached the end of the village and everyone threw the broken utensils into the gorge next to the river.

  ***

  Pravin was out early, as he wanted to spend the day with his friends. Diwakar decided to chop more logs for the bukhari as the temperature went down to minus twelve. Apart from overnight, everyone now needed fire, even during the daytime. He spat on his hands and picked up the axe.

  Nisha watched him from the kitchen window. And once again, the definition of love haunted her. She thought maybe it was a totally useless effort to imagine that she belonged to one person and that one person belonged to her. Maybe she had been wrong from the very beginning and had been deceiving herself all along. She knew even in her wildest dreams she would never be able to share him with anyone.

  She listened to the song that played on Diwakar’s mobile outside and remembered all the moments and the dreams he had shared with her. She liked his innocence and simplicity. But maybe that would be lost forever. She felt sad that even he would soon realize that love and dreams are both fragile. A thought crossed her mind. She could plead with him to back out, but she realized instantly it would mean betrayal and she could not afford to take such a risk. Also, she was not sure if he would agree. She was certain he was very happy now that his dream was taking shape.

  Diwakar saw her and asked for a glass of water. He was sweating even in the cold and his hands were red from the effort. Nisha came out and gave him the glass. “You don’t look well.”

  “No, I am all right.” She took the glass and left silently.

  Diwakar thought that something must be wrong between her and aaté. He said nothing and continued with his work.

  The bulldozer came through pushing the snow to both sides of the road. Children jumped on its back while the dogs barked at the huge bulk and noise. A thin layer of snow, frozen and hard, still remained, but everyone knew it would soon melt away.

  “Now I can resume my trips,” Balbir said, as he saw the plow approaching Lalaji’s shop.

  “Yes, but you need to get my supplies first,” Dayawanti said.

  “I don’t know if I can make a trip to Rampur; there’s nothing to be found at Sangla. You will have to wait for a few days.”

  “Do you have Devta’s duty during the mela (fair)?”

  “Yes, this year my trip will be affected by my duty, but maybe Devta will be kind to us.”

  Dayawanti knew that Balbir and his wife performed puja all through the year for blessings, but they did not yet have any children.

  “Look at you and look at Lalaji. Are you going to marry another woman like him if your wife fails to give you a child? It is all my fate.”

  “Lamaji says it’s all for our sins in past lives. Maybe he is correct,” Balbir said with a stoic smile crossing his lips.

  ***

  Ria enjoyed every moment of her stay in the city. Her cousin, who was a little older than she was, took her through the various facts and benefits of city life. She listened in awe and firmed her resolve to run away as soon as the opportunity came. Her aunt gave her a new pair of jeans and shirt and she wore them every day. She learned how to pluck her eyebrows, the right way to apply lipstick, and much more. She devoted most of her time to watching popular movies on TV. In the village, they only had free channels provided by the state services. She listened to all the romantic exchanges, redesigning and reshaping her own upcoming dialogues. She loved almost everything about the city—the bright lights, the girls with short hair, their dresses, the food, the shops, the mall, the glitter, the cars, everything. Even the stray dogs looked different, from a class apart. The only thing she hated, that made her feel like crying, was the unsolicited tutorials she received every evening. She failed to realize the need for learning and books. After all, she was not going to be a teacher or work somewhere. She would cook, keep the house clean, shop, and travel all the time. She did not miss the village or her family at home but spoke to aau and aama whenever her aunt called them. She told them she was fine and would return when school opened after winter was over.

  ***

  Parvati took out the leh berries. They grew plentifully and she had brought enough branches before winter. She knew the cold was severe and Shevak needed to be given the juice to keep up with his work.

  “Aama,” said Diwa, “you know these berries are very good for health and rich in vitamins. My teacher said that even the army drinks this juice, as it remains unfrozen even at temperatures below minus forty!”

  Parvati nodded. She only knew from her grandma that the juice from the leh berries provided strength and vigor and helped with disease resistance.

  “Diwa, make the fire in the courtyard.”

  Diwakar placed logs in a tin can in the opening where he had sized the logs. He lit the fire and Parvati put on a vessel with water. Then she and Nisha started plucking the berries and dropping them in a wooden vessel. It was a painful exercise as the branches had sharp thorns all over them and soon their hands burned in pain. Nisha was new to this and she followed Parvati but soon her hands turned red.

  “Give them to me.” Diwakar came and took the branch from her. “Just keep the fire on,” he said and smiled at her.

  With
all the berries in the vessel, Parvati took a wooden pounder and crushed them, turning them over and over. She then dropped them in the boiling water on the fire while Nisha stirred it with a branch. Parvati spread a clean cloth on top of another vessel and Diwakar poured in the liquid. Nisha got a few bottles and filled them up.

  Diwakar watched her and went inside. He came out with an almost empty tube of cream but managed to press out a little bit with great effort. He gave it to Nisha to rub on her burning hands. He took a sip from one of the bottles.

  “Aama, add some sugar before you give it to Aau.”

  “I don’t want to spoil the benefits,” Parvati said and carried the bottles inside.

  ***

  Shevak walked down toward Chitkul with Mahajan. Very few people had gone up this stretch of road and the trench that formed was narrow. They reached Mastarang and were greeted at the army outpost. Jeevan Ram stood at the gate with an AK-47 slung over his shoulder. He smiled at Shevak. Jeevan Ram was from Johuri and the only person who was familiar with the terrain. He was middle aged and had spent most of his life with the border force. He had two daughters at home and an apple orchard. Jeevan Ram was considering voluntary retirement, as he needed to be at home to arrange his daughter’s marriage.

  “Did you get a good price for your apples?” he asked Shevak.

  “I went to Shimla but the price was average, much lower than last year.”

  “Yes, the rains spoiled everything.”

  “When are you going back?”

  “Soon. My holidays are overdue but the new men want me to stay here. Why not have some tea?”

  “We will on our way back,” Shevak said and kept walking.

  The army was friendly with the locals and helped them in many instances. They often gave them a lift to the city or carried the seriously ill people to the hospital in their vehicles. They also bartered their supplies, like rum for apples.