Murmur of the Lonely Brook

by Debashis Dey

  Shevak reached the stream and found it completely frozen. The stream carried ice-cold water from the glaciers and went across the road on its way to the river below. In summer, the water was sometimes knee high and the current made it difficult to cut through. But now it was frozen and the pebbles and rocks that traveled down from the high peaks rested inside peacefully. The pine forest stood in solemn silence on a thick white carpet with only the occasional sound of snow dripping off the trees and splattering below.

  They could not go far because of the huge deposits of snow that covered the road and merged it with the valley below. Shevak decided to come back again after the bulldozer had cleared way. They both returned to the army outpost and, after having tea with Jeevan Ram, returned to the village.

  There were no vegetables in the house so Parvati decided to use apples instead. She took six apples from a crate kept for the family and cut them in cubes. Nisha watched intently as this was a new dish for her. Parvati blanched the cubes on the bukhari and removed them. She then heated some oil in another pan and added cumin, chopped garlic, onions, and a few pieces of dried tomato. After frying them a bit she added the apples cubes and sprinkled in a pinch of turmeric and red chili flakes. She cooked and stirred it a few more minutes and the dish was done. She looked at Nisha and smiled. “You can even add peanuts or almond bits. This goes very well with pancakes.”

  “I have so many things to learn from you,” Nisha said.

  Pravin came in and sat next to the fire. He looked at Nisha and then turned toward Parvati. Nisha was making the pancakes. “Aama, the roads are clear and I will leave tomorrow. I will go to Sangla with Balbir and catch a bus from there.”

  “The mela is just a few days away. Why not stay for the mela?”

  “I cannot, I have to save my job. I have left the shop in the hands of a boy. I have nothing to do with the mela. And if it snows again I will have to walk.”

  “This boy stays with you?”

  “Yes. I will try and bring him for a visit one day. He is a nice boy.”

  “I hope he is not a Koli. Did you check on his parents?”

  “Yes, Aama. His house is near Batseri. He lost his father and left his house a few years back.”

  “But when will you be back again? I have planned the announcement next month, though I need to discuss it with your Aau.”

  Nisha glanced at Parvati for a moment and then continued doing her work. “You don’t need me for that and I cannot come frequently.”

  “But there is some expense.”

  “I know. I will send more money this time, and that should take care of the expense.” Pravin went outside and saw the heaps of logs kept in one corner. He knew that it would help if he stayed, as the family needed more logs. But he knew that his baya was capable and together with his friends, he would manage.

  At night he saw Nisha standing near the window. On the floor he saw a crate of apples and another box neatly packed. He assumed that the box contained potatoes, buckwheat flour, and other things that aama must have given her to pack for him. He went and stretched out on the bed. Nisha came and sat beside him. Pravin saw she was calm and composed.

  “You will leave tomorrow.”

  Pravin simply watched her and said nothing.

  “My life will never be the same as it was earlier. But I know I will continue to love you even though you decided on such a fate for me.”

  “I also love you, Nisha, and will continue to do so. Only now you will get his attention also. It’s not as bad as you think. And everyone will respect you more.”

  “I never wanted this but let’s not discuss that. It’s my destiny. I can only say my love will not be the same for him.”

  “I don’t think he will notice or ever complain.”

  “But do you think he deserves it? Don’t you think he also deserves to be loved and cared for by someone who devotes herself solely to him? I don’t know who is the bigger loser in all this.”

  “I don’t fully understand you. But all I can say is this is good for our family.”

  Pravin pulled her close and kissed her. She did not protest but remained unresponsive. They made love but somehow Pravin realized it was not the same. He missed the warmth and the rhythm. He slept, spent and exhausted but not content.

  Nisha watched him and realized for the first time that she had some control in his happiness. She became conscious of the fact that her action and participation played a vital role in giving him the required sense of satisfaction, providing him the sense of achievement. She couldn’t fake passion, rather didn’t know how to fake it, but came to the conclusion that it must be the state of her mind that played against her. And she herself was not responsible for that. It also dawned on her that the body spoke the language of the mind and the soul. She lay there wondering about the future and then she slept.

  ***

  It was a bright morning and Parvati thanked Devta for keeping the clouds away. She expected a hundred women from her family whom she invited for lunch. This was an old custom and followed by almost every family. There was no name to it. Parvati and Nisha took out two sacks of wheat flour while Shevak busily cut the dried meat into pieces. Diwakar shoveled the snow from the courtyard and made space for the guests to sit.

  Jayshree, Parvati’s sister-in-law, was the first to arrive. She was married to the second and fourth brother of her husband who had two portions of land between them. She was jovial and friendly and came early to help them with the cooking. “So when do we start?”

  “You have just come, so go inside and rest a while. I will join you in a moment.”

  Parvati asked Nisha to strain the wheat and went inside to make some tea. She told Jayshree about Diwa’s marriage and also mentioned that Nisha was a bit upset. “Everything will be okay with time,” she said.

  Nisha came in a while later and smiled at Jayshree. “Aama, we need oil and salt to knead the wheat.”

  “I will carry them out. Meanwhile you chop the garlic and onions for the meat. If we don’t start boiling the meat now it will be evening before it gets soft.”

  Parvati went out with the tea for Shevak and Diwa.

  “Bring the garlic and get me a knife,” Jayshree told Nisha.

  Nisha always loved Jayshree’s company; she was simple yet full of wisdom. She often came out with simple answers to important issues. Jayshree came from a far off place.

  “So, you will have two husbands soon.” She smiled at Nisha.

  Nisha looked at her but she failed to see any signs of sadness. Almost all of the time Jayshree was merry and smiling.

  “Tell me something. How do you love both equally?”

  Jayshree smiled at Nisha as if she was asking an innocent question.

  “The balance of love is in our mind. How will they read what is inside me? Will one come to know the difference? It’s not as difficult as you think.”

  “You mean you didn’t feel any difference when you came to know that you would have two husbands?”

  “Why should I? Even my mother had two husbands and both my father and uncle adored me and my brothers and sisters. We were one big happy family.”

  “But I am worried. I know it’s good for the family but I cannot be at peace in my mind.”

  “Look at me; I am happy with my two husbands and four children. And I can tell you that time will teach you many things. Very soon you will enjoy being loved by two handsome men.”

  Nisha felt confused with these insights and wisdom. She continued chopping the onions and thought about Pravin. She thought about the thrill and romance of their first meeting, about their first night, and about the night when her universe crumbled.

  Jayshree looked at her. She could not make out if the tears that rolled down her cheeks came from emotional pain or from the onions.

  ***

  In the courtyard, Diwakar kneaded flour with oil and water and passed on the portions to Parvati. Shevak finished cutting the dried chunks of meat with his axe and knife and pl
aced the lot in the large vessel of water. Nisha, Jayshree, and Uma, Balbir’s wife, who had also come early, made balls out of the kneaded flour mixture and rolled them with rolling pins.

  The guests arrived in lots and the place was filled with laughter and chatter. A group came and left and then another group came. A few gossiped while a few sang in chorus. Diwakar sat upstairs and played music from his mobile. Parvati started frying the poltu and placed them on a covered vessel. Nisha worked mechanically, helping Parvati. She served the guests while Parvati cooked and sometimes they changed places. Diwakar came down occasionally and helped them wash the plates. By evening, it was over and only a few close relatives and friends remained. Parvati took this opportunity to inform them about the ensuing engagement of Nisha and Diwakar. Everyone was in favor of the understanding and appreciated the arrangement. Parvati felt relieved and thanked the Devta.

  Shevak, Parvati, and Diwakar sat in the courtyard. Everyone was exhausted after a hard day’s work. “We need to make the announcement next month,” Parvati said.

  “I know.” Shevak puffed on his bidi.

  “Do you have some money with you?”

  “For what?” Shevak looked at her.

  “Chotu said he would send more this month. But I need a bit more as I wish to give a necklace to Nisha.”

  “She already has one.”

  “But it’s my wish. If you cannot help me buy one then I will give her mine.”

  “You only come up with more expenses when you know the earnings are low. Let me see how much we can afford. The bank loans are there.”

  “Maybe we could sell the part of the land that we don’t use?”

  Shevak felt disturbed and irritated. Land was close to his heart and he could never imagine selling any part of it even though it remained unused.

  “You foolish woman, you don’t know what you are saying,” he yelled at her and picked up an empty glass. Diwakar saw his aau and realized that he had to act promptly and stop him. He jumped up and stood between them and grabbed his aau by the shoulder.

  “Please calm down, Aau, please,” he pleaded.

  Shevak sat down but continued rumbling.

  “An ornament is of no use to the family. Land can come to use at any time. I will get you the money you need but don’t ever think of selling land!” He looked at her with scornful eyes.

  Parvati kept quiet, as she knew about his ill temper. But she was happy that he assured her he would get the money she needed. This was the only thing on her agenda—to give the girl who would do much to keep the family together a piece of gold.

  “Get me the necklace when you go to Sangla.”

  “I will, but I need to get wheat and meat also.”

  “Yes, and ask your sister to send Ria back.”

  Shevak remembered that Ria was the next liability he had. He had to marry her off and that was an expense also. “I will ask them to put her on a bus to Sangla. And then Diwa can go and bring her here.”

  “Maybe Diwa could go to Chandigarh and bring her back.”

  “I don’t think that’s required. The bus is safe and she can travel alone.” Shevak was tired. He got up and both went inside.

  Chapter 18

  It was the first day of the mela. Snow flurries filled the valley but the mild wind that blew held some promise of clearing the clouds. Dayawanti was happy to see a gathering at the shop. Some supplies of vegetables and essentials like sugar, rice, and wheat had been delivered. During the mela, everyone brought something and contributed to the temple.

  The mela was an annual event during winter and the locals called it Gunga Mela. Gunga means deaf and dumb. No one knew who would be the Gunga; the Devta selected him and Gunga could be either one person or two. Once selected, the Devta spoke through the Gunga and passed judgments. Balbir and a few others chatted and speculated on who would be the Gunga this time.

  Parvati saw that one of the cows had been groaning since morning. She took out some dried turnips and fed her. Turnips help to keep cows warm and provide relief from mild diseases. But the turnips did not help and the cow kept groaning. Shevak was not in the house, as he had left for Sangla. She found Diwakar fiddling with his mobile on the balcony.

  “You need to take her to the doctor.” A veterinary doctor was posted in the village but his clinic was at the far end beyond Lalaji’s shop.

  Diwakar had his breakfast and went out with the cow. It was a slow trek for two kilometers as the cow was sick and could not move fast.

  Parvati had breakfast with Nisha and picked up the shovel. “We need to take out the droppings from the cow shed. It’s loaded and will overflow if we don’t move it.”

  Both went down and made their way to the apple orchard. Parvati cleared a space in one corner where the cow dung would be heaped. They went inside the cowshed and pushed the manure out into the courtyard. Parvati sat down and spread a sack that was cut open from the middle. She started gathering the manure and stacked them in the middle of the sack. When enough manure were loaded, Nisha and Parvati lifted the sack by holding the corners and carrying it to the clearing. By late afternoon the shed was clear but by that time they both looked miserable and smelled horrible. Parvati sat down exhausted and wiped her hands with snow. She watched Nisha as she cleaned hers with a towel and water.

  “We will go to the temple tomorrow. It’s no use for all of us to spend the night there.”

  “But will Aau be going tonight?”

  “Yes, he has to go. He will have his dinner early and leave.”

  Diwakar came back a while later with the cow. He explained the medicine to Parvati and left for the temple.

  It was late evening and the villagers, braving the cold, had reached the temple. The snowfall had stopped and the wind finally moved the clouds. The stone bricks of the temple floor were all covered in white. The main complex was in the middle. The thick wooden posts stood dark in the twilight while the tapered slate roof, now covered with snow, extended on all sides. A few candles burned near the door with flickering flames and the light fell on the wooden walls that depicted dragons and deities enhancing their mystery. The Devta sat outside the door in his throne in solitary silence.

  On the western side of the compound stood three large halls where the roof offered some protection. The villagers sat outside on the balcony under the overhang and huddled closely together. A fire had been lit on one corner to heat a large vessel filled with oil. A few women strained wheat and cleaned the meats.

  The only sound came from the Gur, who was reciting hymns and would perform the puja. He finished his ritual and came back to light oil-soaked torches on four corners. The flames danced in the darkness of night. An eerie silence prevailed until the first beat of the drum. The sky was clear with stars blinking and a quarter moon that spread a mystic glow across the snowscape. The beat continued and suddenly the tempo increased. Everyone looked around and saw the Gunga rising from the crowd. It was Rajaram. He walked in a trance toward the fire and in a flick dipped his hand in the hot boiling oil. He took it out intact and unscathed. This was the proof the villagers were waiting for. It meant that the Devta had taken possession of his body and mind. And Devta was all-powerful. The Gur removed a silver belt from the Devta’s idol and wrapped it around him. He also placed a piece of yellow cloth over his shoulder. Finally, he was made to wear a sheepskin helmet.

  It was not that the Devta was present constantly. The Gunga remained silent most of the time and only stood up when Devta wanted to speak through him. The Gunga walked among the crowd of people and everyone felt scared. The Devta passed judgment through the Gunga and identified the non-believers, who were fined. Sometimes it was ten rupees, sometimes twenty, and sometimes more. The youth that followed him decided on the amount. The money was collected and kept in a fund to be used the next morning for buying goodies like chocolates, biscuits, and condiments. The villagers were worried. Not for the fine, which was negligible, but for the loss of face in front of others.

 
This continued until midnight and then the Gunga rested, or rather the Devta rested. Everyone went home with apprehension for the victims, which Gunga would identify the next day.

  The second day was festive in nature. Villagers came with sacks and baskets of apples, wheat, flour, meat, rajma, and other edibles and gathered at the temple. Except for the sick and elderly, everyone came, as staying at home would make them a candidate for identification as a non-believer. Parvati and Nisha left early with apples and buckwheat flour. Diwakar was already in the temple. Shevak woke up late and joined them.

  The Gunga was already up and wanted a tour of the village. The drums and cymbals and the Gur followed him. He walked with his eyes half closed, speaking incoherently. The Gunga pointed at three homes in the village whose owners were fined. Arvind was among them and he was fined the highest. He had to pay a hundred rupees to the party.

  In the temple, the women and men sang and danced while some cooked meat and poltu. During a break Nisha approached the Devta and stood before him with folded hands and closed her eyes in prayer. In her mind, she spoke with him.

  What wrong have I done that you have given me such a punishment? Why are you making me suffer? I have never asked anything from you and even now I don’t ask anything. I respect you and have full faith in you. She paused for a moment but then continued again. If this is my destiny then so be it. Just give me courage and strength so that I perform my duties peacefully. I have no peace in my mind. I need your blessings. She stood there for some more time and then went back to sit with Parvati and the other women.

  After a while, liquor was served and the men drank to their heart’s content. The liquor helped them overcome the cold and they continued dancing until late in the evening. The party broke up and except for the victims, everyone went back relieved.

  Ria came back after a few days. She traveled alone on a bus to Sangla. And as the city faded behind her, she felt depressed. Diwakar picked her up at Sangla and brought her home. Both Parvati and Nisha looked at her for a while.