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by Marit Weisenberg

  Forty years of friendship erased.

  Lati followed him, drawing closer to where I stood. “No one threw you out when you jeopardized everything.”

  Novak jerked around. “You’ll survive. You’ll be on the run your entire life, but you’ll survive.”

  You could see the moment Lati realized it was final, and he changed tack completely, years of stored-up hate pouring out. “As a leader you’re full of shit. You have all the skill but none of the compassion of our great ones.” Lati gestured to Angus’s room. “I let you convince us to alter the development of our most talented children who were ‘interfering with your visions.’ What bullshit. Who would we be if we hadn’t been trained? I know what you’re trying to do: eliminate your and Liv’s competition so you can stay in power. We’ve always elected our leaders, and you’re trying to create a fucking royal family. And at the expense of our children, Novak. My son and your daughter. I’m glad Angus somehow found a way around you. You and your fucking predictions you’re making come true. Really, you’re just like them, another greedy billionaire trying to stay in power.”

  Lati took one more step even closer to Novak. “The funny thing is, now everyone is starting to doubt your visions. We’ve stayed here too long, sitting on our hands while we’ve waited for you to hear voices. There isn’t a chosen one out there for you or Liv. It’s just a story, Novak. No one can come wholly over to our side in our exact image. You have a daughter who’s proof it doesn’t work like that. If you want a next generation, they’ll be like her. A version of us, but not the same. We’re lost whatever you do.” Lati began backing away.

  “If what I’m planning is so fucked up, why do you want to be part of it?” Novak smiled at Lati. “It’s because you know nothing in the ‘real world’ comes close to it. You know you will never feel complete again. Good luck taking care of your family when this world goes to shit. It’s coming sooner than you think.” Novak pivoted to walk down the hall and saw me standing there. He knew I’d heard everything.

  He paused imperceptibly before passing me without acknowledgment.

  Shell-shocked, I stood motionless in the hallway, the entire world tilting on its side.

  I lost all touch with my surroundings and any sense of time. But then Liv’s voice penetrated my stupor. She’d reappeared at my side. Through a fog she was saying, “They said we need to leave.” She pulled on my sleeve, trying to get me to follow her out the ER entrance.

  “No,” I said, coming alive.

  I didn’t want to see him. Novak had messed with our very nature. He had made me believe I was nothing special, and then he’d deliberately separated me out in hopes of stunting my abilities permanently. You didn’t do that to your own child. Or anyone else’s. The authority he thought he had, even over our bodies, made me want to be sick.

  “Come on. Julia, what’s wrong with you? We’re all waiting for you.” I realized she’d missed the entire thing. Liv still had her hero. She grabbed my hand. Why would they be waiting for me? We weren’t a family. I was a failed experiment from Novak’s youth.

  They were waiting in the shadows, to the side of the building entrance. Novak and Victoria were the portrait of themselves, not at all disheveled despite that it was almost dawn.

  For the first time in my life, I would only look at Victoria, though I felt Novak waiting to catch my eye, his presence thrumming through the air. It was going to be different now that it was out in the open between us. He didn’t have to pretend. I knew who I was, and I knew he’d tried to stunt me and the other Lost Kids. It looked like he had managed to succeed with Roger and Ellis.

  I knew it was time to receive my punishment again, like I had after Barton Springs when I’d had the gall to act like one of them—worse, to be as powerful as one of them. But apparently that was a punishable offense for others as well. Even without proof of any wrongdoing this time, how would he not group me with Angus? It was what I deserved, regardless. Angus and his entire family would suffer because he’d stood up for me. I dragged my gaze upward to meet Novak’s eyes.

  Novak shocked me by tilting his head to the side, his eyes gentle. “There’s no point discussing tonight. Any of it. In a few hours it will feel like it happened a lifetime ago.” I could feel him trying to manipulate my emotions by using that remarkable power he had. I was amazed he was looking at me like this, with love instead of disgust.

  He reached out his hand. I stared at it for a second and then realized I had no choice but to take it. Grasping it, it felt so strong and reassuring. I could feel my heart rate slowing.

  “We love you girls more than anything. You know that, right?” Novak asked. Why was he including me? And did he so overestimate my love for him that he didn’t realize he’d just broken my heart?

  Victoria moved closer to Novak, interrupting the moment. “Look, the survival of this group is what’s most important, and we are all in danger right now. We need to leave,” she urged. It sounded like Victoria expected me to go with them. At that moment I didn’t know if I could make myself get in the car with them, regardless of any nirvana awaiting me on the other side.

  Novak didn’t seem in any particular hurry as his gaze moved speculatively over me. Once Novak made the call, Relocation would spring into action, and he would have to admit defeat—that his hand had been forced by a kid he thought he had under control.

  “When are they getting out?” Liv asked, referring to Angus and Lati. She still had no idea.

  “Novak,” Victoria interrupted sharply. “Everyone’s been told they have two hours. We need to get inside our house. Now.” Victoria began to walk, expecting us to follow her.

  “We shouldn’t leave a car here,” I said suddenly. “I’ll take Liv’s car home.”

  “I want you to ride with us,” Victoria said to Liv. She wasn’t going to let Liv out of her sight.

  “I need your keys,” I said to Liv.

  “Julia,” Novak said. I froze. Then he said, “We’ll see you at home.” Novak turned, and the three of them walked into the dark, Liv looking back at me. She didn’t know she was being robbed of the chance to say good-bye.

  I kept my head down and walked directly to his room. It was insane, but I couldn’t leave without seeing him.

  Carefully, I opened the door without knocking, wanting to get out of the hall before someone stopped me. Immediately Lati snapped his head around and stared at me hard, quickly ending his phone call. The lights were dim. Lati sat on Angus’s bed, and Angus looked like he was asleep. I closed the door softly behind me.

  “You can’t be in here, Julia,” Lati said.

  “What happens next?” I asked quickly.

  Unfazed, Lati accommodated. “Our ride will be here in ten minutes. My son will not be spending the rest of his life as an FBI lab rat.”

  I wondered who was helping them. It was nice to know not everyone was abandoning them because Novak said so. “Where will you go?”

  “Your father’s not the only one who can make plans,” he said.

  “Can he be moved?” I asked, looking over at Angus.

  “His foot has been reset. No internal injuries. So, yes. Amazing. Too amazing.” Lati shook his head, looking down at his son.

  Lati brushed his knuckles against Angus’s arm, his relief palpable. He didn’t seem angry, in spite of what he was facing, all because of a spur-of-the-moment choice made by Angus—a kamikaze fuck-you to my father.

  “Did you know my mother?” I asked, point-blank. Lati looked at me, realizing I had overheard the conversation. He hesitated.

  “She was an outsider,” he said eventually. “I always thought it was unfair he wouldn’t tell you.”

  “How?” I asked, incredulous. I knew this might be my only chance to get any information.

  “I don’t know very much, in spite of the fact that we were close friends. Best friends.” Lati’s pause reflected how quickly things had changed. Angus stirred, and for a second I feared Lati wouldn’t say anything more. Then he look
ed up at me. He could probably see the desperation in my eyes, and he relented.

  “The year before the Relocation to Austin, Novak started disappearing for long periods of time. Then one day he came to the group, telling us he’d found someone like us. Novak said she’d been searching for similar people, that she’d been drawn to us, and by being near him she’d developed some of our traits.

  “Novak brought her to us only one time, and everyone was skeptical and suspicious of her. But Novak was hell-bent on convincing everyone she should be part of the group. It was clear he wanted to marry her. Then months later, with no warning, we needed to relocate. Novak showed up with an infant—you—and we were given strict orders never to question it.”

  If Lati knew anything about her working with the FBI, he didn’t say a word. “How did he get away with it?”

  “Novak was too valuable to let go.”

  “Valuable how?” There was so much that had been kept from me.

  “He was an outlier. At a young age he was capable of things it took most of us a lifetime to master. He surpassed all of us with what he was able to do with his mind—telekinesis, and his complete control over physical response.”

  Of course. What had he called the same in me? Nothing important, nothing worth mentioning. He had made me feel so small.

  “He began correctly predicting near events. And then Novak said he could see farther and farther into the future. After that people were listening to him more than to Victor. Novak came back to the fold and married the leader’s daughter, but you were part of the deal. Eighteen years later he’s still trying to save face and prove there are more of us out there. Some people are more receptive now since we’ve been unable to reproduce.”

  “Julia.” Angus had opened his eyes. His voice was rough and low. He gestured for me to come to the bed and reached out to try to touch my cheek. I leaned in closer.

  “Angus, I’m so sorry. That was my problem, not yours. I never should have—”

  “Shhhh. If it weren’t for my family, I’d do it again. I don’t know—the thought of him trapping me somewhere…I just couldn’t go. I fucking hate him, Julia.” Angus’s anger could have seared the wall. He tried to collect himself. “Besides, I couldn’t let you hurt yourself after you told me you don’t have pure blood like me,” he joked.

  I wanted to laugh but I couldn’t. “Did you always know I wasn’t like you?” I asked.

  “No. Maybe I guessed. It doesn’t matter,” he said. I laughed at that. He pulled me down closer and said, “You’re still you. And you’re still one of us. Them,” he corrected himself.

  I nodded, but I knew it wasn’t convincing. I said, “You were right about Novak. We were the best. Thank God you taught the boys.”

  “Thank God you taught me.”

  Lati stood up, wanting to usher me out. “You need to get out of here and get back to Novak.”

  “How am I going to do that, knowing what I know? And why would he take me?”

  “He’s raised you as his daughter, in our group, in front of everyone, and you deserve to be part of Relocation. Somehow, by luck and chance, you’re here. If you could wish anything for this one chance on earth, wouldn’t it be for a long, peaceful life? To experience bliss? Isn’t that what all of existence strives for? What we’ve created can ensure a beautiful future, secure from the outside world. You have to go. You can’t let him take away the extraordinary things about us. Don’t let what you just heard change anything.”

  “What does that mean exactly, ‘secure from the outside world?’”

  “You know I can’t talk about it. Even now.”

  “Where is it?” I pushed.

  In a firmer voice he said, “You need to go. Say good-bye.”

  I looked at Angus, realizing I might never see him again. “I won’t forget you.”

  “Promise me you’ll take care of the boys,” he said seriously. I nodded. Angus’s eyes glowed bright blue as he did everything he could not to cry. “I love you, Julia.”

  I could tell he was scared.

  “I love you too. You’re my best friend.”

  “Julia,” Lati said, impatient now.

  “Maybe you’ll get the best of both worlds,” I said to Angus coaxingly.

  “I don’t think it works like that.”

  I couldn’t stand seeing him broken, and it scared me, not being able to help him. I lay my head on Angus’s chest. Everyone in the room knew it was futile, that we couldn’t go back in time, but Lati and Angus were quiet for a moment.

  Angus caught my hand as I stood to go. “Julia, don’t accept their story that you’re less. You’re more of everything. All the best parts.”

  I’d never thought about it that way, that I was more than the image they had of me. I smoothed the hair from Angus’s forehead carefully. I leaned my face down to his and whispered in his ear.

  “Angus,” I said, with wonder in my voice, “don’t worry. You are going to feel so alive.”

  The path to the car was blurry, the tears falling freely as soon as I was out of Angus’s sight. Still, I was sure I recognized one of the FBI agents who had questioned me. He walked right past me, striding into the building with purpose.

  I parked across the street, one house down, but with a clear view of their driveway. I sat watching in the black winter night.

  I knew that in all probability he was safe inside, sleeping. No one would have pursued Liv’s theory about John once Angus jumped. There wasn’t any time. We had to run now. I knew the smart thing for me to do was to run too. I was crazy for making this stop.

  I started the car, the dashboard lighting up. I felt like I was outside myself, watching to see if I could make the final break and pull away from the curb to drive home through the streets of Austin for the last time.

  But I had to check.

  I turned off the engine. Walking briskly down the sidewalk, I was in front of John’s house in a second, but not without a neighbor’s dog starting to bark. I walked back to their rotting wood gate and tried to open it with a push of my hand. It didn’t budge. I slammed my shoulder into it, and it made a loud scratching sound on the concrete. Breaking into a cold sweat, I glanced at the neighbor’s windows, but no one came to peer out to see what was driving their dog crazy. Letting myself into the backyard, I nudged past the recycling and garbage cans.

  It felt surreal—an out-of-body experience—being at John’s house early in the morning, his backyard cold and quiet. My eyes locked on the weathered French doors leading into John’s bedroom, and I slowed.

  I tapped so lightly on the glass, he may not have heard. If he didn’t open the door in ten more seconds, I’d turn around.

  Nothing. I drew a shuddering breath and turned to leave.

  “Julia!” I heard his voice, low and husky so as not to wake the house. I whipped around to see John standing in the doorway, shirtless, in boxers. Oh, thank God.

  “I’m sorry I woke you up.” I could go now, knowing I was leaving him right where he was supposed to be. I still didn’t move.

  “I couldn’t sleep. What are you doing here?” he whispered, his eyes tired and sexy behind his glasses.

  “I wanted to make sure you were okay. That’s it,” I said, as though it were perfectly normal that I was knocking on his door at dawn, so many weeks after we’d broken up.

  “It’s freezing.” John opened the door wider, silently asking me in. He seemed half-asleep, and his defenses were down. I’d lost my jacket at some point in the night, and cold was coming off me.

  I knew I shouldn’t do it. No one would wait for me.

  I brushed past him. Stepping into his room, I was enveloped in warmth. His bed was rumpled and the sheets had the impression of his body. Just being this close to him made me aware of every pore in my skin.

  John seemed to be waking up and realizing I was actually here. I could feel when the wall went up. He swiftly put on a pair of jeans over his boxers and grabbed a T-shirt.

  Earlier in the
evening felt like playacting compared with this. Maybe his family was asleep in the house, but this time we were really alone, no one watching over our interaction.

  “Are you okay?” I asked. “I didn’t get a chance to talk to you after…”

  “I’m fine. That was crazy. It’s all over the place now. Videos of it.” He backed as far away from me as he could get in the small room, hands shoved in back pockets in his usual stance. He had a long gash on his arm from the tree. “What happened? Why did he do that?” John asked.

  “It was—I don’t know—things got out of control. It had to do with a fight we were having among ourselves.” My eyes rested on the framed photo of John and Alex. If I never did another good thing in my life, at least I’d saved John’s. It blew me away how much potential he had here. His family, Stanford, tennis. Meeting John had made it impossible for me to continue ignoring the value of other people’s lives. I thought about how his life, how every outsider’s life, would keep moving forward, in contrast to mine. In five years John would be finished with college, and who knows what he would have seen and done in that time. And who he’ll have been with.

  “Was that you? The butterflies?” he asked. I nodded, and he gave a small Of course smile. I realized we were both holding our breath.

  “What else don’t I know?” he asked.

  “I think now you’ve seen it all.” Though I actually didn’t know what I was capable of anymore. I’d unnerved him. I backed away a few steps.

  “So what happens now? How do you explain what happened tonight?” John asked.

  I stopped smiling. “We can’t. It’s done. We’re leaving.”

  “When?”

  “Right now.”

  “What? Where are you going?”

  “I don’t even know.” I tried to sound matter-of-fact instead of scared.

  John’s eyes widened, and then he quickly looked down, studying the floor. When he looked up, he’d concealed his emotions again. We both stood in the awkward silence.