More

by Heidi Marshall

  “He’s a rare breed. You two just get each other, you know? Would it be such a bad thing to give it another shot?”

  “I guess I should,” replied Kate, shrugging her shoulders as if there was no other choice. She grabbed her phone and dialed a familiar number. “Meredith? It’s Kate. I know this is late notice, but I was hoping I could take the day off. There’s something I need to do.”

  Chapter 22

  Ian came walking out of his office with his tie loosened and his dark brown hair slightly disheveled. He looked like he was in the middle of another stressful day at the office. His secretary had told him that someone was in the lobby to see him, but didn’t mention who his visitor was.

  When Ian saw Kate standing in the lobby, the tension that was in his face seemed to melt away in an instant. She stood there, in a lavender sundress and denim jacket, holding Bernard the frog. Ian smiled, and for the next few moments a lot was communicated between the friends without words. “Greta?” he yelled back towards his office. “I’m taking my lunch now.”

  They walked out of the building and down the block to a familiar coffee shop. Ian bought Kate her favorite drink without having to ask what she wanted, and they sat down at a small table on the patio.

  “I’ll start,” she said. “You really shocked me when you walked into the store yesterday. I mean, you haven’t said a word to me since our fight that night. You abandoned me, Ian. When things got rough and I found the courage to be honest with you, you gave up. And that scares me. Relationships are hard. I don’t care what kind of relationship it is – a friendship, a marriage, a business partner – it’s all hard. It all takes work. To be honest, I probably wouldn’t have wanted to be your friend after what happened between us even if you had tried. But you didn’t even try. And that really hurt me.”

  “I was stupid, Kate. I was foolish and scared and immature and it took me far too long to figure out how wrong I was. But I’m here now. Does that count for anything?”

  “It does. As hurt as I was by you, the fact remains that we have a very special bond and I think our friendship is worth fighting for. But I think you’re in my life for a reason. I’m not willing to give up on us. I think now that the truth is out on the table, I can do this. I can be a friend to you. But if I’m getting uncomfortable and think that boundaries are being crossed, I’m going to tell you. And if you think I’m getting too attached to you, you need to do the right thing and talk to me about it.”

  “I can do that.”

  “Promise me, Ian. Promise me that truth will come first. We can’t do this if we’re afraid to be honest with each other.”

  Ian put down his coffee cup and looked Kate in the eyes, with determination and openness in his eyes. “I promise. Truth comes first.”

  Kate nodded and said, “Well since we’re being honest with each other, I have something to tell you.”

  “You can tell me anything.”

  “I hate this frog.”

  The friends laughed and both felt the familiar comfort of being in each other’s presence. Maybe I can do this, thought Kate. Maybe I do have the strength.

  ~~~~~

  Olivia Henry was so proud of her the incredible transformation that had taken place in her backyard. After months and months of planning, sketches, sweat, and hard work, Jacob had helped to design and build the garden that Olivia had always dreamed of. It had everything – the winding stream, the jasmine crawling up the white lattice attached to the house, the vegetable patch for peas and peppers and everything in between, and the outdoor fireplace where Olivia planned to spend many of her evenings reading beside. It was, in a word, magnificent.

  Olivia had invited practically the whole neighborhood over for an afternoon tea to show off her pride and joy. She lived in a well-established part of town, and most of the neighbors had known each other for years. All afternoon familiar faces drifted in and out of the backyard, many carrying covered dishes or plates of desserts. Olivia spent the afternoon talking with friends, breathing in the sweet aromas all around her, and wishing that her only daughter could be there with her.

  Late in the afternoon, Jacob and his father opened the side gate and stepped into the backyard. “Jacob! Jerry! I’m so glad to see you both. I wasn’t sure if you would come.”

  Jerry Patterson surveyed the impressive backyard. “I had to see this project that my son had been spending so much time on,” said the soft-spoken man. “Beautiful work, son. Beautiful work.”

  Embarrassed by the praise, Jacob shuffled his feet and looked at the ground. “Thanks, Dad.” Jacob walked his dad around the garden, explaining his design and how he had done the work in a way only a fellow landscape designer would understand. The other guests slowly filtered out of the garden and back to their own homes until only Jacob and Jerry were left.

  “Come inside for a cup of coffee,” said Olivia. “Sit and chat for awhile.”

  Jerry, who had an extensive vegetable garden in his own yard, was soon deep in conversation with Olivia about varieties of tomato plants. Jacob excused himself to use the restroom. On his way down the hall, he found himself stopped in front of the half-open sewing room door. Just walk past, he thought. Don’t snoop. But Jacob was drawn into the room as if by a force outside of his own body. There on the shelf was the box labeled ‘letters’. I’ll just take a peek, he thought. I just want to see what she’s up to. I want to make sure she’s happy and well.

  He pulled the letter out from the front and began to read. Instantly, his heart began to ache for this woman whom he barely knew. …could have been my everything, he read. …emptier than I ever felt possible. He continued on and was struck by the last paragraph of the letter.

  “I feel like I was built to be a support to a man. I believe it with every fiber of my being. I know I’m the person to convince him he’s good enough when he’s feeling low. To be honest with him and knock him down a couple of pegs when he needs it. To celebrate with him, cry with him, belly laugh with him, have faith in him, and believe in him. To love him with everything that I have for the rest of my life. And he’ll allow me to do all of these things because he’ll know that he needs me.”

  Not once did she mention that she wanted someone to take care of her, or to make her laugh, or to provide for her. No, everything she wanted was either for him or with him. Selflessly loving and supporting was what Kate seemed to be designed to do. Jacob recalled Olivia’s impassioned prayer that he had overheard and knew this letter must have prompted Olivia to plead with God on her daughter’s behalf.

  “What an idiot,” he said out loud, thinking about this Ben character. “What man wouldn’t want that?” He was startled by the sound of his father’s cough in the other room, and quickly put the letter back in the box and headed back towards the kitchen.

  ~~~~~

  “Good grief, Parker, you’ve grown so much since I’ve seen you last. What are you now, like thirty-seven? Thirty-eight?”

  Parker giggled at Ian. “No, I’m only seven!” he said, putting his hands on his hips.

  “I don’t know, I could have sworn you were pushing forty,” said Ian, relentless in his teasing. “Although I’ve never met a thirty-eight-year-old who was this ticklish!” Ian ran outside after Parker, with his wiggling fingers threatening to attack the young boy and cause a fit of laughter and screaming. It wasn’t long before Ian got involved in a game of catch with Parker, Todd, and Rick. Amy and Brooke were at school for teacher/parent conferences, and Darren was in the kitchen watching Kate do the dinner dishes after she had graciously refused his help.

  “Well look at you, Kate Henry. I haven’t seen you smile like this in quite a long time,” said Darren.

  “I know. I’m really happy with how things are going. It’s wonderful to have Ian back in my life, especially now that we’ve gotten everything out on the table and decided that we are just going to be friends. There’s just so much less pressure and uncertainty now.”

  “I’m so glad. I was really worried abou
t you after Ben, but you seem like you’ve been able to move on and not let Ben or Ian break your spirit.”

  “What am I, a horse?”

  “Oh you know what I mean, Kate Henry. Don’t be difficult.” He swatted at her with a dishtowel. “You’re a strong woman, you know that?”

  “Only because I have to be.”

  “No you don’t. You don’t have to do anything. Life’s all about making choices. You’ve made the choice to pick up the pieces and keep going, even when you’ve been devastated over and over again. I know you trust God, and I can really see the evidence of that by the way you live your life. It’s admirable, my friend.”

  “Thank you, Darren. That means a lot to me.”

  “Anytime, kid. Now, if you would go ahead and make the choice to bake an apple pie right now, I would admire you even more.”

  ~~~~~

  Mom,

  I’m so glad to hear that Dr. Tobias is pleased with your recovery from your stroke. You really scared me; you know that? You need to be around for awhile, so you better keep taking good care of yourself. Who else is going to spoil my future children if you’re not around?

  I still can’t really believe all I’ve been through since Ian moved to Raleigh. At that point in my life, I was definitely longing for a little excitement, but I think I got more than I bargained for. No, I haven’t spoken a word to Ben. Darren said he’s still dating that same girl. All I can do is shrug my shoulders and shake my head when I think about it. I don’t think there’s anything I could have done differently. And I try not to look at it that way. Life’s a journey, like you always say. The decisions I’ve made have gotten me to this point, and I trust that the Lord has been guiding my steps along the way. I’m ready to have a little less of a rocky journey for awhile, but I can definitely see how I’ve grown through all of this pain. The thing about figuring out what I don’t want is that it helps me figure out what I do want, even if it’s just by default. I’m learning what is important to me.

  I know you won’t let me off that easy. You want to know what I’ve learned, don’t you? Okay, fine. I’ve learned that I have no patience for people who are afraid to take a risk. Living in fear is no way to live. I’m not saying that I think being reckless is a good idea, but I don’t always want to make the safe choice. Ben taught me that figuring out what you want and going for it wholeheartedly is an admirable quality. (Of course, I plan to be less fickle than him. Figuring out what you want is just the first step. Sticking with it is a whole different story.) I think Ian is learning how to take risks. At least, in his own Ian way. It was a big risk for him to try to convince me to let him back into my life. But things have worked out for the best. I am doing everything I can to be a friend to Ian. It’s possible for two single adults of the opposite sex to be friends. I just know it is. And I’m going to prove that with Ian.

  In the meantime, I am just focusing on enjoying my life. I love my friends and my job more than ever, and I’m so thankful for everything that I have.

  Love always, Kate

  Chapter 23

  Ian and Kate found it very easy to find the groove in their friendship again. Kate had convinced herself that she could make this friendship work, and she didn’t let her mind wander to the places where it once lived. Ian was her friend, nothing more. It just wasn’t in the cards for them. They saw each other often for meals, movies, and good talks. She was trying hard to guard herself and not get too close to Ian, but with every passing day she could feel herself relax and become the carefree young woman that she longed to be. No more anxiousness about what was going to happen. No more wondering how long it would take Ian to come to his senses. She found great comfort in the stability and openness of their relationship.

  Ian had called her the night before and invited her to his loft for dinner the following night. He told her he had exciting news, and that he wanted to celebrate by cooking her dinner. What the exciting news was he wouldn’t say, and Kate wasn’t so sure that Ian cooking was really the right way to celebrate since his cooking skills were rather anemic, but she didn’t argue. Hopping in her car, she set off on the familiar drive to Raleigh and speculated over what the big news could be.

  Winking at Bernard as she passed by, Kate realized that this was the first time that she’d been in his apartment since their big fight. Since they had reconciled only a few weeks earlier they had spent plenty of time together, just not in one another’s homes. She reached for the doorknob to swing the door open and walk in like she used to, but she hesitated and drew her hand back to her side. After reconsidering, she reached up and knocked on the door. She waited, but there was no answer. She knocked again, louder. Finally she heard footsteps and the door swung open, revealing Ian standing in the doorway with a quizzical look on his face.

  “I thought I heard a knock. Why didn’t you just come in?” Ian had lost the tie and the shoes from his typical work attire, and stood there in gray slacks and a light blue shirt with the sleeves rolled up. He had a splotch of some sort of red sauce on the front of his shirt.

  “Didn’t want to just barge in like I own the joint.” Ian shrugged and moved aside so that Kate could come in. “What do you have on your shirt?”

  Ian looked down. “Well that’s just great,” he said. “It’s spaghetti sauce. I hope you’re in the mood for pasta.”

  She chuckled and said, “I’m in the mood for eating it, but maybe not for wearing it like some people.” She ducked and narrowly missed a flying strand of angel hair pasta that Ian had slung at her.

  “Nice try. I have cat-like reflexes.” She took a ninja stance and prepared for another pasta attack.

  “You win,” muttered Ian, serving up two plates of spaghetti. Kate sat down at the table across from Ian, and something shiny in the living room caught her eye. She was so focused on the stain on Ian’s shirt when she first came in the apartment that she hadn’t really glanced around the familiar space yet. She surveyed the living room and saw many recognizable things – the couch and leather chair they had picked out together, the rug and the bookcase, and…a suit of armor.

  “Ian!” she said, pointing at the unfamiliar decoration. “What did you do?!”

  “What?” he said with a mouthful of pasta. He turned and saw what she was pointing at. “Oh, my suit of armor! I just thought that corner needed something. Isn’t he great?”

  “It’s…it’s a suit of armor!”

  “I know! He’s a conversation piece.”

  “I’m sure it…err…he is, Ian.” She couldn’t break her gaze from the unwelcome new addition to her perfect design. “Why is he…so short?”

  “Oh, he’s 5/8 scale. I call him Peanut.”

  Kate turned her gaze to Ian and shook her head slowly.

  “Remind me to never get in a big fight with a friend during a decorating process again, please.”

  “He’ll grow on you. I just know it.”

  She put her head in her hands and laughed. “Ian, you always continue to surprise me.”

  “That’s actually why I wanted to have you over for dinner tonight.”

  “To meet Peanut?”

  “Not to meet Peanut. You can just consider that a bonus.” Kate rolled her eyes. “No, I’ve actually got a surprise for you.”

  “What is it?” asked Kate.

  “Well, there’s a little bit of back story to this. So if you can hang tight for a few minutes, there’s a great surprise at the end. I promise.”

  “Okay, let’s hear it.”

  Ian took a deep breath, put down his fork, and took a long sip of ice water before speaking. “I didn’t tell you what it was that urged me to get back in contact with you. Of course I missed you, but there was actually a specific event that pushed me to drive to Rocky Mount and walk into your store. I went on vacation with my family up to Maine. Just me, my parents, and my sister. Mom and Dad wanted to do one last family vacation before Elizabeth leaves for college and they officially have two adult children. Well, we stayed at this gre
at resort that had tons of activities, and we got to interact with a lot of the other guests. We met some great families and just had a really fun week.”

  “Sounds wonderful,” she said.

  “Oh, it was. I really enjoyed myself, and it was nice to get away from work for a whole week. But the more we interacted with people, the more lonely I felt. Which I didn’t really understand at first. I mean, most people don’t feel lonely when they’re surrounded by people, right? So I thought about it and one thought kept coming back to my head. The only person I wanted there with me, the only person that could take away that loneliness, was you.”

  Kate took a deep breath and was careful not to let her expression change. She had worked so hard to find peace with being a friend to Ian. Was he changing his mind about his feelings for her?

  “Look, I know how this sounds, so I want to be perfectly clear. I’m very happy with the way things are now. I love having you in my life, and I want to keep it that way. As friends. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I think we’re really learning how to do this the right way. You’re…okay with us, right?”

  Kate took a minute to gather her thoughts before answering that loaded question. My heart no longer aches to be with Ian, she told herself. I’m not trying to make him fall in love with me, nor am I still in love with him. I am a mature woman who can handle this type of close relationship with a male friend. “Yes. I’m definitely okay with us.”

  “Good,” said Ian hastily. “I was hoping you would say that, because if you weren’t, I wasn’t going to ask you this next question. Kate, would you go to Paris with me?”

  Kate’s mouth fell open.

  “Kate?”

  “I…um…Paris, Ian? With you?”

  “Let me explain. My firm is working on a case for a big company in Paris, and I need to fly out there for a couple of meetings. I know how you’ve always talked about wanting to go to Paris, and I just can’t think of anyone I’d rather have with me than you. What do you think? Will you do it?”