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by Heidi Marshall

  “Paris,” she said with a far-off look in her eyes. “I’ve always wanted to go to Paris…” Snapping out of her trance she entered upon hearing the name of this magical city, she looked Ian squarely in the eyes. “Is this a good idea? Do you think we can handle this?”

  “I do,” said Ian. “I’ve thought about it a lot. I really think we’re in a good place. So why can’t two friends go on a trip together?”

  So many thoughts and emotions raced through Kate’s head and her heart as she considered Ian’s offer. Of course she wanted to go to Paris, and she knew that Ian would be so much fun to travel with. She could picture the two of them exploring the city together, walking along the Seine, roaming through the halls of museums, and trying all sorts of new cuisines. But wasn’t Paris known as the most romantic city in the world? Was it really smart to put herself in a situation where she might fall back into her old habits with Ian? Was she strong enough to share such an experience with him and still be satisfied with only being friends? Of course I can, she thought. I can do anything I set my mind to. Looking at Ian, she said, “It sounds absolutely amazing, but I can’t afford a trip to Europe.”

  “I know you can’t. That’s why I’m paying.” Kate opened her mouth to argue but Ian stopped her rather harshly. “Do not say one word, Katherine. If you agree to go, I’m paying, end of story. Look, my firm is already paying for my plane ticket and hotel and food, so it’s not like I’m paying for a complete vacation for two. And if you’re not with me I won’t have any fun, so whatever a plane ticket and a few meals costs is a small price to pay for your companionship.”

  She knew better than to argue with Ian about money once his mind was made up. “Well…I…”

  “Come on. Please say yes.”

  Taking a deep breath and ignoring the few nagging thoughts that remained, Kate let a huge smile spread across her face. “Yes! Yes, I’ll go to Paris with you!”

  ~~~~~

  “You’re doing what?” exclaimed Meredith and Amy simultaneously. Amy often brought the boys to the bookstore on Saturday mornings and let them explore the colorful room containing children’s books while having a cup of coffee with her grandmother to start out the weekend.

  “Oh calm down!” exclaimed Kate. “It’s really not that big of a deal. I mean, I’m going to Paris, which is a huge deal, but it’s just two friends going on a trip together. It would be the same as if Brooke and I were going to Paris.”

  “False,” said Amy. “It is not even anywhere remotely near the same zip code as being the same.”

  “Why?” asked Kate stubbornly. “Why can’t this work? We both know what the expectations are, we both enjoy being around each other, and we want to go do something fun together. Is there anything so wrong with that?”

  “Yes,” said Amy. “There is. It’s not going to work, that’s what’s wrong with it. You two have too much history together. There is no way you’re going to be able to be satisfied just being Ian’s friend in Paris of all places!”

  “Amy, dear, don’t raise your voice,” said Meredith. “Kate is a grown woman. She knows what she’s getting herself into. Don’t you, Kate?”

  Kate looked over at the woman whom she respected so much and saw no judgment or disapproval in her eyes. “I do, Meredith. I’ve had so much time to process my new friendship with Ian and I really believe that it can be a good thing. Good for both of us. I’m not going to get hurt this time.”

  “Just as long as you’re ready to deal with the consequences in case anything happens, then I say have an amazing time in Paris.”

  Amy looked at her grandmother, exasperated. “That’s a lovely sentiment, but let’s be realistic here. Kate wants a family more than anything in the world.” Kate wrinkled her brow. “Oh don’t pretend it isn’t true. We all know it’s true. And we all want that for you. I see you with my kids and I ask God why is it that I can be so lucky and he keeps ignoring your requests? But you aren’t going to get any closer to having what you want if you go gallivanting in Europe with a man who will never give you what you want, no matter how long you cling to him!”

  Kate stepped back as if she had been punched. “How dare you. I am not clinging to him. I’m trying to have a healthy friendship!”

  “Girls, I’d much prefer you didn’t yell at each other, but if you must, please go outside,” said Meredith.

  Kate stormed out the back door and Amy followed her, yelling for Parker and Todd to stay put on her way out the door.

  “I don’t enjoy being this harsh with you, but I’m scared for you,” said Amy. “I’m scared that you’re going to miss out on something amazing in your life if you keep playing house with Ian. He broke your heart. He doesn’t love you; he’s said it time and time again. But he loves the comfort and security of having you around. You’re worth more than that, Kate. You deserve someone who is desperate to love you.”

  “But we’re just friends! Why can’t you understand that? I’m not missing out on anything.”

  Amy lowered her voice and spoke with compassion. “I know you, Kate Henry. I’m sure you’ve convinced yourself that you’re just friends. But you love Ian. You always have. And you’re hanging on, even if it’s subconsciously, to the shred of hope that he might someday realize what an amazing person you are and fall in love with you too.” She moved closer to Kate and put a hand on her shoulder. “It’s time to let go of that, friend. God has something better in store for you. I know it.”

  “I appreciate that. But you can’t see into my heart. I can do this. I can be Ian’s friend. I am going to Paris with him, and everything is going to be fine.”

  “I want to believe you. And I hope you have a wonderful time; I really do. Will you just do me one favor?”

  Kate looked at her friend who had always had her best interest at heart and knew she could not say no. “Anything, Ames.”

  “Don’t settle for anything less than you know you deserve. I know this probably doesn’t have much impact coming from a person who hasn’t been alone at all in her adult life, but I believe with all of my heart that it’s better to be alone than to be with someone who is not the one. Remember that, will you?”

  “I will.”

  Amy headed back into the store to collect the boys and Kate sank down onto the ground, not caring if she got her clothes dirty. I know I can do this, she thought. I know Ian will never love me. We can just be close friends, nothing more.

  ~~~~~

  Ian took the packing list that he had printed out at the office that morning up the stairs to his bedroom. Pulling out a big suitcase, he began to meticulously fill it with neatly folded articles of clothing while making sure to mark each item off the list. Six pairs of socks? Check. Enough shirts and ties for his business meetings? Check and check. Shorts, polo shirts, and sneakers? Check, check, check.

  As he closed his dresser drawer a little too hard, a picture frame that was perched on the dresser toppled over from the sudden movement. Ian picked up the frame and turned it over in his hand. It was a photograph that some forgotten friend had snapped of him and Kate in college. They were standing in a movie theater that they frequented in college, mimicking a scene on the movie poster behind them. She was looking down at him, pretending to be annoyed, and Ian was down on one knee with his arms outstretched, seemingly begging to be forgiven. He had always loved this picture. He loved the faint smirk on Kate’s aloof face. He loved that not only would she spontaneously decide to become a real-life recreation of a poster, but that he jumped right in with no hesitation. She always brought out the fun in him. The best in him, really.

  He was glad that Kate had accepted his offer to take her to Paris. Going alone just wouldn’t be any fun, and he wanted her with him. End of story. And now that their friendship was ironed out, they could have fun together without any issues. Any drama. Everything was just how he wanted it, and he was so thankful that she was mature enough to understand the kind of relationship he wanted with her.

  Ian heard a knock on t
he door and snapped out of his trance staring at the picture. Placing the frame facedown on his bed, he quickly descended the stairs and swung his door open.

  “Ian, we need to talk to you.” Amy was standing there with her husband by her side.

  Caught off guard, Ian looked sideways at the Baileys. “Sure…” he said, slowly backing away from the door and motioning for the couple to come inside. As they all sat down in the living room, Ian in the leather chair and Rick and Amy on the couch, Ian suddenly looked worried. “Wait, is it Kate? Is she okay? Is anything wrong?”

  “Kate’s fine, man,” said Rick. “Nothing to worry about.”

  “No, actually she’s not fine,” said Amy under her breath, giving her husband a quick glare.

  “What do you mean? What’s going on? IS KATE OKAY?”

  “Yes,” said Rick calmly. “She doesn’t know that we’re here, but Amy wanted…” he stopped short when he was elbowed in the ribs, “we wanted to come speak to you before your trip tomorrow.”

  “Okay,” said Ian, settling back into his chair. “Go for it.”

  Amy opened her mouth to speak, but Rick put a gentle hand over hers and began to talk. “Ian, we think it’s great that you and Kate are friends again. We both really like you, and we really like spending time with you. You fit really well into the group. We hope you stick around long term.”

  “I’m not going anywhere,” said Ian.

  “You’re going to Paris with Kate,” interrupted Amy.

  Ian looked quizzically over at Amy, who was obviously upset about something, but he couldn’t for the life of him figure out what it was. “Do you have something to say to me, Amy?”

  “You bet I do,” she replied. Rick took a deep breath and looked his wife in the eyes, apparently having a secret conversation with glances and eyebrow movements that were some sort of secret spousal language. When they had reached some sort of agreement (although Ian had no idea how) Amy calmly began to talk.

  “Ian, we’re here today because we love Kate. She is so excited about going to Paris with you tomorrow. And she says that she can just be a friend to you and everything will be fine and dandy. But I’m worried for her. I’m worried because I don’t believe her. I think if she was being completely honest with herself, she would admit that there is a part of her that hopes you’ll fall in love with her and sweep her off her feet. She doesn’t want a friend right now. She wants a husband. She wants a father to her future children. But since she hasn’t been able to find that anywhere else, she’s holding on to the hope that you’re the one. And I don’t think you’ll ever want to be the one for her. Am I wrong?”

  Ian looked up at the ceiling, his hands rubbing his forehead.

  “No,” he said meekly.

  “Look man, I get it,” said Rick. “You like having a woman around. Every guy does. And you’ve kind of got the best of both worlds right now. You’ve got someone who you can be close to and who is always there for you, but you’ve got no real commitment to her. She won’t freak out if you don’t call her every day. If you want to spend a Friday night with the guys, she has no grounds to get upset with you.

  “But what’s wrong with that? Lots of men and women have these types of relationships and are just fine.”

  “We’re not talking about lots of men and women, though,” said Amy. “We’re talking about you and Kate.”

  “So what are you saying? You’re saying I shouldn’t be taking her to Paris?”

  “I’m not saying that,” replied Amy. “You just need to be aware of what you’re doing to her. I don’t think she even quite realizes what it is that you’re doing to her. And trust me, she’d be livid if she knew we were having this conversation right now. I do want you to be her friend. But not blindly. Don’t treat her like you would treat a girlfriend. Think about what you do and what you say. Realize that there should be boundaries. And, for heaven’s sake, if for any reason you change your mind about her, you better be able to commit.”

  Ian sat in silence, unsure of how to respond. He was grateful when Rick jumped in. “We’ve taken up enough of your time. You probably still have packing to get to. We really do hope you two have an amazing trip.” Rick and Amy stood up from the couch and Ian followed them to the door. Rick stuck out his hand and patted Ian twice on the back in a very manly hug. “Just do the right thing, and you’ve got nothing to worry about.” With that, the Baileys walked out and closed the door behind them.

  Ian stood by the door for several minutes without moving. Did Kate really want something more with him? Hadn’t they worked through all of this? He had been trying to do the right thing, darn it! He made sure she was okay with everything before even asking her to Paris! “I will never understand women,” he muttered as he trudged back up the stairs towards his partially full suitcase.

  Chapter 24

  “Welcome aboard, Mademoiselle Henry,” said the flight attendant in a thick French accent and nametag which read Juliette. “Do you care for some champagne?”

  Kate was overwhelmed as she settled into her large leather seat in first class next to Ian. “Champagne? Why…yes, champagne would be lovely. Ian, do you want anything?”

  “Oui, merci madam,” said Ian to Juliette with a lovely lilt in his voice. “Deux champagne sil vous plait. Et deux oreiller aussi.”

  “What did you just ask for?” asked Kate quietly as Juliette walked slowly down the aisle to take requests from the other first class passengers.

  “Oh, just two champagnes and two pillows.”

  “First of all, how did I not know that you speak French? Second, I’m still in a state of shock that I’m actually in first class. I can’t believe you bought me a first class ticket. And thirdly, I thought you didn’t like champagne.”

  “Let’s see…well, my grandmother on my father’s side is French Canadian and she used to speak it to me growing up, and I always thought it was a beautiful language so I took it in high school and in college, but I always just had a knack for it, which is why I never needed you to quiz me with note cards…did you actually think I was going to make you ride in coach when my firm bought me a first class ticket…and I normally don’t drink champagne, but it just seems fitting on a flight to Paris. Does that about cover everything?”

  She nodded and accepted the pillow and champagne that Juliette handed to her. She managed to squeak out a soft “merci,” but intended to let Ian do most of the talking while in Paris. They settled in to their comfortable seats with their books and both glanced up to look out the window a few times as they left the ground of America to head across the ocean.

  “Thanks for coming on this trip with me,” said Ian.

  Kate smiled at her friend and started to daydream about the adventures that she’d soon be having in the city she’d always longed to visit.

  ~~~~~

  “Bon soir, Monsieur Rutherford. Welcome to Paris. I will have your luggage sent up to you. Here is your key, and please let me know if there is anything I can do to make your stay more comfortable.”

  “Merci,” said Ian to the hotel clerk. A bellhop hurried to load a cart with Ian and Kate’s luggage while the pair set off to find their room.

  “So…we just got one hotel room, then?” said Kate cautiously.

  “Yes, but don’t worry. I made sure that it has two beds. I figured we wouldn’t be spending much time in the room anyway. I…I hope that’s not a problem,” Ian said, suddenly worried. “It’s a one bedroom suite. I can sleep on the couch and you can have the bedroom.”

  “No, don’t be silly,” she said. “As long as we’ve got two beds, it’s fine. No big deal.” They reached the door to their suite and Ian swung open the double doors.

  Kate’s eyes widened and her breath caught in her chest. She walked into the room slowly without a word. Making her way over to the huge window just past the living area, tears came to her eyes as she gazed at the incredible view of the Eiffel Tower, which was sparkling with thousands of tiny lights. Finally exhaling, she shook
her head in amazement. “Oh Ian. It’s more beautiful in person than I ever imagined!” She turned to him and threw her arms around his neck. “Thank you, thank you, thank you for bringing me here.”

  Kate’s wild hair covered Ian’s face. “How is it possible that you smell this good after an international flight?” he said.

  She pulled away, embarrassed, but determined not to let it show. “It’s a mystery of womandom. Don’t ask questions,” she said with a smirk. “Okay, my body is so confused. We flew all night, but it’s nighttime now. I guess we should try and get some sleep to adjust to the new time zone.”

  “That’s exactly why I kept you awake on the flight.”

  “And here I thought you were just being annoying. Monsieur Rutherford, you are trés brilliant!” Kate said with a horrible French accent, exaggerated to sound even more ridiculous. She opened the door to the bedroom and immediately threw her purse down on one of the beds. “I call the bed by the window!”

  After Kate and Ian took turns getting ready for bed in the bathroom, they both settled into their beds and shut off the lights. Kate kept the curtains cracked open so that she could lie on her side and peek out at the Eiffel Tower. She could tell from Ian’s rhythmic breathing that he had fallen asleep quickly, but she had too many thoughts running through her head to even consider closing her eyes in spite of her exhaustion. “I’m in Paris,” she whispered to no one. She eventually fell into a deep sleep with a slight smile still lingering on her face.

  ~~~~~

  Kate awoke when she heard Ian softly calling her name. Opening her eyes, she saw Ian standing over her, fully dressed in a suit and tie. “I have to go to a meeting,” he said. “And then I’m taking the clients to lunch. But I’ll be back in the early afternoon and we can spend the rest of the day together. Are you going to be okay until then? Do you need anything?”