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by Heidi Marshall

  “No,” she replied with a scratchy morning voice. “I’ll be fine. Have a good meeting.” Ian rushed out the door and Kate sat up in her bed and stretched towards the ceiling. “Good morning, Paris,” she said. She swung her feet over the side of the bed and shuffled to the bathroom. After showering, she got dressed in khaki capri pants and a sleeveless top that was the perfect shade of green to make her eyes pop. She bounced out of the room and onto the streets of Paris.

  The hotel was on the edge of the first arrondisement, which the hotel concierge explained is one of eighteen neighborhoods that Paris is divided into. The first arrondisement is in the center of the city, just a short walk or metro ride away from many of the city’s most famous sights. Armed with maps from the concierge, Kate set off on a walk to the Jardin de Tuileries, which is the extensive garden just outside the Louvre. She walked slowly to take in all the sights – parents walking with children in uniforms and backpacks, men in suits on bicycles, and buildings older than Kate had ever seen with incredible architecture and detail. When she reached the garden she stopped at a small stand to buy a croissant and a cup of coffee. It seemed appropriate for her first meal in Paris. She strolled around the garden, stopping periodically to let the cool water of a fountain run over her hand or sit on a bench and people-watch. It all seemed so historic and important.

  Pulling out her map, she saw that she was very near the Seine River. After a short walk she reached the banks of the river that were lined with all sorts of locals. There were people sitting with only a book and a coffee to keep them company, others surrounded by friends talking loudly and laughing, and couples apparently just out for a stroll on this perfect Paris morning.

  Kate found a quiet spot and settled onto the ground with her journal. She wanted to capture all of these memories on the page so that she’d never forget a moment of this amazing trip. She was deep in thought when she heard a man ask a question in French. She looked up and saw a smiling white-haired couple, strolling with arms linked. The man was holding a leash to a small white dog. “I… I’m sorry sir, but I don’t speak French.”

  The man chuckled. “It is all right, I speak very good English,” he replied with an accent. “Lots of French people do. But most of them won’t admit it.”

  Kate smiled at the couple. “It’s a beautiful language. I wish I could speak it. What is it that you asked me?”

  “I asked you if you are enjoying the lovely weather today.”

  “Oh, yes, I am. It’s perfect. This is my first day in Paris, and I’m just out taking it all in.”

  “No!” cried the woman. “You have never been to Paris before? A beautiful young woman like you?” The dog, who had been sniffing on the ground, made its way over to Kate where he nuzzled up to her hand.

  Kate began to rub the dog’s head as she replied, “No, I have never been here before. A friend of mine is here on business, and he brought me along with him.”

  “Your lover, no?” asked the woman bluntly.

  Kate blushed. “No, nothing like that. He’s just a friend.”

  The woman raised an eyebrow and said something under her breath in French. “George Clooney seems to like you very much.”

  Kate looked puzzled. “George Clooney? I…I don’t think George Clooney knows who I am.”

  The couple chuckled. “No, no, George Clooney is our dog.”

  Kate glanced down at the little white dog she was still petting as his tail wagged wildly. “Oh!” she exclaimed. “Well, that makes much more sense. George Clooney is a very sweet dog.” She stood up and stuck out her hand. “My name is Kate.”

  “I am Paul, and this is my wife Claudia.”

  “It’s very nice to meet you, Paul and Claudia.”

  “It’s so nice to meet you, Kate,” replied Paul. “We’re walking down the river to the best glace shop in Paris. Would you care to join us?”

  “Glass shop?”

  “Yes, glace. Ice cream, you call it.”

  “Oh, ice cream,” said Kate. She glanced down at her watch. The time had slipped away from her quickly and it was now past one.

  “Well, I’m meeting my friend soon, so I’m not sure if I have time.”

  “Don’t be silly,” said Claudia, removing her arm from her husband’s and linking it with Kate’s. “There’s always time for glace. Besides, it is not far.”

  Kate looked at her new friends. She had always heard that French people were snobbish and standoffish, but Paul and Claudia (even George Clooney) were shattering that stereotype. She just couldn’t turn them down. “Glace sounds wonderful. Let’s go.”

  The threesome plus George Clooney set off down the banks of the Seine in search for Paris’ finest glace. “So Kate, tell me about this friend that brought you to Paris. He must be a very good friend.”

  “Oh he is. I’ve known Ian for ten years now. We met in college and we’ve been best friends ever since. Well…we weren’t speaking for a few months recently, but everything is okay now. Better than okay. Everything is great.”

  “But why were you not speaking?” asked Claudia.

  “It’s complicated.” Kate saw her new friend looking over at her expectantly, and even though she was walking arm in arm in a foreign country with a woman she had just met, for some reason she decided to open up. “It was just getting too hard for me to be his friend. We got close. Really close. So I basically told him I couldn’t be that close to him unless we were dating. And…well…that’s not what he wanted. So we didn’t talk for a long time.”

  “So how is it that you are speaking now?”

  “We talked and we worked things out.”

  “Who compromised?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Someone must have compromised. The problem didn’t disappear just because you didn’t speak for a while, no? So who was it – you or him?”

  “Well…I suppose it was…me,” said Kate. “Because now we’re friends again, but he’s made it very clear that we’ll never be anything more.” She looked over at Claudia. “But it’s okay. I don’t see it as a compromise. I see it as I have my friend back, that’s all.”

  “Is that what you want? To go on a trip to Paris with a ‘friend’?”

  In a moment of uncensored honesty, Kate softly blurted out, “I’m afraid to be alone.” She winced upon hearing her own words.

  Claudia patted her new friend on the hand. “I know.” They walked in silence until they reached the glace stand. “It’s my treat,” said Paul as Kate pulled out her wallet and tried to count out the correct number of Euro coins.

  When the ice cream cones were nearly empty, Kate felt her phone buzz in her pocket. “It’s Ian,” she said. “He’s back at our hotel. I need to go and meet him.” They all stood up and George Clooney jumped excitedly at Kate’s feet. She leaned down to scratch the dog behind his ears.

  “I’m very glad we met you, Kate.”

  “Oh, the pleasure was all mine,” she replied. “It was such a treat to meet you both. Thank you for the delicious glace. And for the company.”

  Claudia leaned in and kissed Kate on both cheeks. She grabbed both of Kate’s hands and spoke softly to her. “If you surround yourself with people, you will never be alone. But sometimes it’s important to be alone in order to find what you really want.” And with that, Paul, Claudia, and George Clooney walked off.

  ~~~~~

  “Only you could randomly make friends with French people on your first day in the country,” said Ian, shaking his head after hearing Kate’s excited narration of her morning.

  “They were so sweet! They even bought me some ice cream.”

  “I object!” said Ian, loosening his tie. “Should you really be accepting food from strangers in foreign countries?”

  “Counselor, do you really think that an elderly couple out with their dog on a morning walk are really mass murderers in disguise? Who use ice cream as their weapon?”

  “I’ve heard of stranger things,” said Ian haughtily.


  “Oh go on and change out of those stuffy clothes already!” said Kate, giving him a playful shove towards the bedroom. “We need to get out there and explore!”

  After stopping at a café for jambon et fromage sandwiches (ham and cheese, explained Ian), Ian and Kate hopped on the Metro and made their way towards Notre Dame. Ian wanted to take a taxi, but Kate insisted on navigating the crowded subway system instead.

  “I don’t want to be a tourist,” she said, and she simply stuck her nose up in the air and continued on foot towards the nearest Metro station when Ian pointed out that they were, in fact, tourists.

  As they turned the corner to the plaza where Notre Dame stood, Kate was mesmerized by the sheer size of the incredible cathedral. “Wow,” she whispered under her breath as they walked closer. Huge stained glass windows adorned the structure, as well as intricate carvings of both saints and gargoyles. They walked into the building and their eyes were immediately drawn upward. Kate had never seen ceilings this tall in her life. As they wandered around the massive church the sound of a pipe organ filled the sacred air. She looked up the aisle and could see locals filing into the seats. “Look, Ian, there must be a mass starting right now! Let’s go sit down.”

  “But we’re not Catholic.”

  Kate shot him a sideways glance. “God is still God.” Ian nodded and followed Kate to a pair of empty seats near the back. The organist skillfully played a melody that was so bittersweet; full of such longing. Kate closed her eyes and let the music speak to her. Ian heard a sniffle and looked over to see a tear rolling down her cheek.

  “Kate…are you okay?”

  She let out a deep sigh and opened her eyes. “I’m more than okay. I’m just overwhelmed by this place. I know that we can worship the Lord anywhere – in a school gymnasium, in a mega-church, or even on our knees in our own homes. But being here just makes me think about the majesty and glory of God. It makes my problems seem so small and God seem so big.” She turned her head and looked at Ian with tears still clinging to her lashes. “It just…makes me think of heaven.”

  They stayed for the whole service, Ian trying to translate the main points of the sermon for Kate. When it was over they walked back outside to the plaza in a reverent silence. When they reached the end of the plaza, Ian gently asked, “Well, where would you like to go now?”

  A grin spread across Kate’s face. “The Eiffel Tower.”

  ~~~~~

  The sun was starting to set as Kate and Ian stepped off the elevator on the highest deck of the Eiffel Tower. The city glowed in the brilliant light. They walked around the entire perimeter before settling into a spot with a view of the sparkling Seine. Ian had been very quiet since leaving Notre Dame. “What are you thinking?” asked Kate.

  Ian continued to gaze out at the bird’s eye view of the city.

  “What am I thinking…”

  “Yes.”

  Ian spoke slowly, as if carefully choosing each word. “Well, I’m thinking I’ve never seen a place as beautiful as Paris. I’m thinking that I don’t ever want to leave.”

  “I know the thought.”

  Ian turned his gaze from the city to Kate. The sun was dancing on her auburn hair so it shimmered. Her eyes were so full of wonder and contentment. Her perfect pink lips curled ever so slightly into a smile. She looked…exquisite. “I’m thinking that I want to kiss you.”

  The moment could not have been more perfect. Kate turned her body to Ian and stood there, as still as a statue, with her arms at her sides. “You do?” she whispered.

  Without bothering to respond, Ian took Kate’s face in his hands and lowered his lips to hers. He kissed her, gently at first, until they both began to lose themselves in the moment. Kate threw her arms around his neck and Ian wrapped his long arms around her waist and held her close. She had been waiting for this kiss for years. They stood there in a tight embrace, completely oblivious to the other people around them. This moment was just about Kate, Ian, and a magical kiss.

  ~~~~~

  Kate sat perched on the edge of her bed in the hotel room, looking at her watch. Her unexpectedly romantic evening with Ian had been cut short when they had to part ways at the base of the Eiffel Tower. “I told the clients I would meet them for drinks,” Ian had said apologetically. “I can call and cancel. I don’t want to leave you right now.” She told him not to be silly, and that she would wait up. “Okay, then we can talk later,” he had said. “And kiss some more.” With a quick peck on the forehead he had jumped into a cab and sped off to meet his clients at a trendy bar on the Champs Elysees.

  Kate was actually grateful for the time alone to try and sort through the thoughts that were racing through her brain. She had to keep telling herself that this really just happened. It wasn’t a dream. Ian Rutherford kissed her. She was still weak in the knees hours later. But what did it all mean? Had he finally come to his senses and fallen in love? Kate’s eyelids were getting heavy, and she stretched out on her bed. I’ll just close my eyes for five minutes.

  ~~~~~

  “Kate. Kate.” Kate opened her eyes barely a squint and could see through the window that it was morning. She still hadn’t stirred, and Ian continued to whisper. “I’m leaving for another meeting, but I won’t be more than a couple of hours. Kate. Can you hear me?”

  Not wanting Ian to know she was awake, Kate stayed completely still. She heard him scribbling something on a piece of paper for a few minutes before he opened and shut the door. After lying there for another minute, she rolled over and saw a piece of hotel stationary lying beside her with Ian’s writing on it.

  Kate,

  I’m so sorry we didn’t get a chance to talk last night. When I came in you were sound asleep and I didn’t want to wake you. I’m meeting with my clients right now, but I’ll be back soon. Go ahead and order yourself some room service if you’d like.

  First of all, you need to know that I didn’t plan that kiss in any way. I really did bring you to Paris as a friend, and I had no intention of crossing the line over into something more than friendship. I also want you to know that I could barely sleep last night. I was up thinking about us. We can talk more when I get back, but I just want you to know that I love you. With all of my heart.

  Ian

  ~~~~~

  Ian jumped out of the cab and rushed into the hotel, eager to see Kate. As the elevator brought him closer to her, Rick and Amy’s words kept echoing in his head. You better be able to commit…just do the right thing…

  He swung the hotel room door open and was surprised to see Kate sitting on the couch, looking out the window at the Eiffel Tower, with her luggage beside her. “What’s all this?” he asked, motioning to the bags.

  Kate turned and smiled. “Sit down, Ian. I have some things I need to say.”

  Ian rushed over to her and kneeled in front of her. Grabbing both of her hands in his, he said, “No, listen to me. We love each other. No matter what happens between us, something always brings us together. I know I told you before that I tried to fall in love with you, but something was stopping me. There’s nothing stopping me anymore, Kate. I love you. I do. I can picture our life together, and it’s everything that I ever wanted.” He pulled her face closer and kissed her.

  Ian’s words were ringing in Kate’s head. These sounded like the same words that she once yearned for him to say to her. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up from her perch on the couch and wrapped his arms around her. He held her close and stroked her hair. “I need you in my life.”

  Kate stood very still. “I want more,” she said quietly.

  He pulled away and held her at arm’s length. “What did you say?

  “I said I want more.” She released herself from his grip and walked away several steps, looking off into the distance.

  “What do you mean you want more? I just told you I love you and I want to share my life with you. What more can you want?”

  “It’s a good offer, Ian. An amazing offer, really. You’re such a good man
, and I’m sure we could have a wonderful life together.”

  “Kate, I don’t understand.”

  She turned to face him. “I know you, Ian. You’re just trying to do what’s right. You’ve convinced yourself that you love me because you don’t want to hurt me. And sure, in time, we could learn to love each other and be happy together. But I want more than that. I want someone who loves me with such intensity that he will never once look back and question his decision.”

  “Don’t do this. Please.”

  “We’ve known each other for ten years. Ten years. And yet you never fell in love with me, not even a little bit, until we were standing on top of the Eiffel Tower in the most romantic city in the world. You should have fallen in love with me a long time ago. Back in college, or by the fireplace in Carmel at Christmas, or while we painted the walls in your new place. But you didn’t, and I have to believe there’s a reason for that. It’s not enough for me to choose to be with you just because I don’t want to be alone.”

  Ian, we won’t always be standing on top of the Eiffel Tower at sunset. I’ve come back down, and once you do too, you’ll understand.”

  Kate approached Ian and hugged him tightly. “Thank you. For everything.”

  Ian looked at her with pain and confusion in his eyes as she gathered her bags and walked out the door.

  “Goodbye, Ian,” Kate whispered as she walked down the hallway with tears in her eyes. She headed to the airport and changed her ticket to fly straight to California.

  Chapter 25

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with me, Mom. Apparently I can’t have a successful relationship or a successful friendship. Something always gets screwed up.”

  Olivia hated to see her daughter so upset, but she was so glad that Kate trusted her enough to confide in her. She considered it an honor to be able to be there for her daughter, even though she wished she could just take the pain away.