The Best-Kept Secret

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “Oh yeah, he told me about that last week, when I spoke to him on the phone.”

  “So are you ready?”

  “Yep. I just need to run into the family room to get my CD player. I think I need some new headphones for it.”

  “If you do, we can pick them up on the way.”

  Alicia left the room for a few seconds and then returned.

  “Okay, Daddy, I’m ready.”

  “You be good,” Tanya said, embracing her daughter.

  “I will. And tell Dad James I’ll see him when I get back.”

  Now, that was the one thing Curtis would never get used to, Alicia referring to another man as her father. Of course, James was only her stepfather, but the closeness he had with Alicia still bothered Curtis. It made him regret, that much more, the months and years he’d missed with his daughter.

  “You take care, Tanya,” Curtis said, hugging her.

  “I will. And you take care of my baby.”

  “She’s my baby, too, remember.”

  “I know.”

  Curtis placed Alicia’s bags inside the SUV, they both got in, and Alicia waved at her mom one last time as they drove away. Curtis honked the horn.

  “You still love Mom, don’t you?” she asked.

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because I can tell. She still loves you, too. I mean, she definitely loves Dad James, but she still cares about you a lot.”

  “But it’s a different kind of love. No different than how I love Charlotte as my wife, and I love your mother as a close friend. I love her because we once shared a very special bond and because she is the mother of my first child.”

  “I’m just glad you guys can finally get along with each other. I hated it when you and Mom used to do all that arguing.”

  “And I apologize for that because we never should have done that around you. Not when we were married or after we got divorced. But the divorce thing was new and painful for both of us.”

  “I know.”

  “So, what do you want to do while you’re visiting?”

  “Matthew wants to go to Great America in Gurnee, and then there’s some movie he wants me to take him to see.”

  “Figures. He’s always got a list of things he wants to do. And he’s been telling all of his little friends that his big sister is coming to stay with him for a week. It’s almost as if Charlotte and I don’t even exist.”

  Alicia smiled. “I love him, too. He’s such a sweetie.”

  “The way you have accepted him makes me very happy.”

  “He’s my brother, Daddy.”

  “I know, but I wasn’t sure how you would feel about him at first.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you were so used to being an only child.”

  “Actually, it did bother me for a while, but Matthew makes it very hard for anyone to dislike him.”

  “That he does.”

  “Charlotte said she’s taking the day off on Thursday so we can go shopping.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I hear. You like her a lot better than you did Mariah, don’t you?”

  “I guess. But it’s probably because Charlotte is only nine years older than me. So, when I’m with her, it’s almost like hanging out with my girlfriends.”

  “Does that make you feel uncomfortable? You know, having such a young stepmother.”

  “Not really. But it’s not like I’m ever going to call her Mom or anything either.”

  Curtis laughed. “Point taken.”

  After stopping at an electronics store in Schaumburg to purchase a new set of headphones for Alicia, Curtis made it back to Mitchell in record time. The moment he pulled into the driveway, Matthew ran out of the house.

  “Alicia!”

  “Hey, Matthew,” she said, holding her brother closely.

  “Can we go to the movies tonight?”

  “Not tonight, but what about tomorrow?”

  “Matthew, why don’t you let your sister get settled in first?” Curtis said.

  “Okayyyy,” he whined. “But can we order a pizza and rent a movie, then?”

  “We’ll see,” Curtis responded.

  “Hey, Alicia,” Charlotte said as they walked inside.

  “Hey, Charlotte.”

  “Your room is all ready. And there’s a surprise in there for you, too.”

  “Really? Then I’m going up there right now. Come on, Matthew.”

  “I know what it is,” he said.

  “Matthew!” Charlotte warned him.

  “I’m not going to tell her, Mom.”

  “Okay. Make sure you don’t.”

  “Your son has such a big mouth when it comes to surprises,” Charlotte told Curtis when the children left the room.

  “Yeah, he does. And thanks for buying Alicia whatever it is you bought her.”

  “I bought her a pair of diamond earrings.”

  “Whoa. Then she ought to be screaming in just about—”

  “Oh my God, Charlotte, thank you, thank you,” Alicia said, running back down the stairway and showing much love for her stepmother.

  Nothing could’ve made Curtis more joyful than to see his wife and daughter so friendly with each other. Blended families were not always happy families, so this was a blessing.

  Alicia and Matthew headed back upstairs so he could show his sister some of his new games and his new comforter set, featuring the Hulk.

  “I know things have been awkward for us lately, but I do love you, Charlotte.”

  “I love you, too. But can I ask you something?”

  “Go ahead.”

  “Is Matthew the only reason you married me?”

  “Where is all this coming from?”

  “Nowhere. But I need to know.”

  “In the beginning . . . that was the reason. But it was only because you made it clear that marrying you was the only way I could ever have a relationship with my son. But by the time we were married, I was definitely in love with you. And it was the first time I knew for sure that I could love a woman without being unfaithful to her.”

  “But if I hadn’t given you that ultimatum, you would have been just as content not being married to me.”

  “That’s not true, because I always wanted Matthew to grow up in a home with both his parents. I’d already messed things up for Alicia, and I didn’t want to do the same with him. We may not have gotten together spontaneously, the way you wanted us to, but the love I have for you is very real. And you should know that by now.”

  “I just wish we could be as happy as we were when we first moved here. You had so many plans and so many dreams.”

  “And I still do. You may not believe that my column is good enough for syndication or that my book is going to be picked up, but I’m telling you, I have faith in what God has led me to do. Both opportunities are going to present themselves, and it’s only a matter of time.”

  “You really think this is going to happen, don’t you?”

  “Yes. And you should, too. You should believe that God has great things in store for us. Everything is in divine order, and nothing can change that.”

  “I guess it’s just hard for me, because very few people have a syndicated anything, let alone a newspaper column. And the odds are just as slim when it comes to having a book published.”

  “But not when God has His hand in it. You know my favorite motto is that ‘we have little because we think little,’ and I’ve made sure to never fall into that category. Not one day. I’ve thought big all my life, and I’m thinking the same thing about my writing.”

  “But if all this happens the way you say it’s going to, how are you going to continue leading the church?”

  “I don’t know, but I’ll figure out something. Even if it means having a couple of the associate ministers doing more sermons than they have been. Which they’ll be fine with as long as they’re compensated.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  Curtis wondered why she was teary-eyed. “For wh
at?”

  “For not supporting you and for not being the wife you want me to be.”

  “Every marriage has problems, but it’s up to you and me to correct them.”

  “I know. But I just want you to know how sorry I am. For everything,” she said, laying her head on his chest.

  Curtis knew deep within his soul that what she was actually apologizing for was her infidelity. She would never admit it, and at this point, he didn’t want her to. But maybe now she was ready to take her marital vows more seriously. Maybe now she finally realized that he was all she needed in a man, that she had no need for anyone else.

  Maybe now they could get back to the happily ever after they were living a few months ago.

  “Aaron. I just can’t keep doing this.”

  “Well, that’s not what you said at lunchtime today. And that’s certainly not what you said two nights ago in the backseat of my Navigator.”

  “I know. But I can’t keep living like this. I can’t keep doing this to Curtis or to my son. And now with Alicia here this week, I feel even more guilty.”

  “Then, instead of screwing my brains out at that hotel today, why didn’t you go with the good reverend to pick up your little stepdaughter?”

  “Because you’ve got this crazy hold on me, Aaron.”

  “Charlotte, please. You sleep with me because you’re not getting what you need at home. You like the excitement I create for you.”

  “But I’m in love with Curtis.”

  “No, you’re not. You might care about him, but you don’t love him.”

  “I do. I’ve been so confused about that, but after talking to him a couple of hours ago, I know that I love him and that I want to be faithful to him.”

  “Even though you know he only married you because of Matthew?”

  “Maybe he did, but he explained all of that to me, and I know now that he does love me.”

  “Well, it’s like I told you before, if I can’t see you on a regular basis, then all this good lovin’ I’ve been giving you will now become Michelle’s.”

  Charlotte didn’t know why the thought of Aaron being with another woman made her want him that much more. It was such an insane way of thinking, her obsessing over one man, knowing she was married to another.

  “I don’t want this anymore,” Charlotte said.

  “Is that right?” Aaron said, grabbing both of her arms. “Well, if that’s true, then why in the hell are you standing here in my bedroom butt naked, when you’re supposed to be picking up videos for your son and stepdaughter?”

  Charlotte didn’t even try to answer him. She couldn’t.

  She never even tried to resist him. She didn’t want to.

  She allowed him to love her the way he always did whenever she didn’t have a whole lot of time.

  When Aaron finished with her, she took a quick shower, left his condo, and drove away as if her life depended on it. When she pulled into the parking lot of the video store, she picked up her cell phone and dialed Curtis.

  “Hey,” he said.

  “Sweetheart, I’m sorry it’s taking so long, but the first store I went to didn’t have the movies that Matthew and Alicia wanted, so I had to drive all the way on the other side of town to find them.”

  “No problem. The pizza isn’t here yet, anyway. So just take your time.”

  “Do you need anything else?”

  “Not that I can think of.”

  “Okay, well, I guess I’ll be there in about twenty minutes or so.”

  “Love you.”

  “I love you, too.”

  Charlotte pressed the end button and wondered how many more lies she was going to have to tell.

  She wondered when they were all going to catch up with her.

  Chapter 11

  CHARLOTTE, ALICIA, AND MATTHEW WALKED INTO WOODFIELD Mall. Charlotte had wanted to shop at Oakbrook but decided to come here instead, since the drive was much shorter. Last night, she and Curtis had argued once again about her not wanting to make love to him, and this morning, he’d barely spoken to her. He hadn’t said anymore than he’d had to. She’d wanted to make love to him, but after dropping by Aaron’s on her way to the video store, she just couldn’t will herself to do it. She couldn’t have sex with both of them on the same day, only hours apart, the way she had a few weeks ago. So Curtis had completely blown up and warned that she had better get her priorities in order or else. His tone and facial expression had spoken a thousand words, and Charlotte could tell he was serious. She knew it was just a matter of time before he found satisfaction in another woman’s bedroom. He would do what he had to do the way he used to. But even knowing all of that, Charlotte couldn’t stop thinking about Aaron. Either she couldn’t or wouldn’t, she didn’t know which it was. But what she did know was that Aaron was her outlet, her exhilaration, her stimulation. He was the thrilling part of her life. But maybe if she could spend big money, the way she was planning to do today, that would be all the excitement she needed.

  “So, Alicia,” Charlotte said. “What do you want to look at first?”

  “Sandals. I need at least a couple more pairs.”

  “Then let’s go into Nordstrom. They had a pretty huge selection when I was here a few weeks ago.”

  “What about me, Mom?” Matthew said when they headed toward the department store. “Can I get a game for my Game Boy?”

  “You really don’t need any more of those, but maybe one and that’s it.”

  A smile lit Matthew’s face. There was nothing he loved more.

  When they arrived in the shoe department, Alicia and Charlotte tried on one style after another.

  “Charlotte, look at these.” Alicia had on a red pair of Cole Haans.

  “Those are too cute.”

  “Yeah, but they’re eighty-nine dollars.”

  “And?”

  “Mom would never buy me a pair of sandals that cost this much.”

  “Well, normally, I wouldn’t spend that much either, but if you really want them, I don’t mind paying for them.”

  “But you already got me the earrings.”

  “Yeah, but I’m telling you, you can have the shoes, too.”

  “Wow, Charlotte, thanks.”

  “No problem, sweetie. Plus, why shouldn’t you get what you want, because I’m definitely getting these Donald Pliners and those Kenneth Coles,” she said, pointing to the box sitting on the floor.

  After Charlotte slipped back on the shoes she’d worn, she and the petite salesclerk walked over to the counter. When the clerk scanned the final bar code on the third box, she said, “Your total comes to three hundred twelve dollars and twelve cents. Would you like that on your Nordstrom account?”

  “No, I think I’ll use my Visa instead.”

  “Would you be interested in opening an account with us?”

  “No, actually, I already have one.”

  The clerk printed the signature receipt. Charlotte signed on the bottom line and laid down the pen.

  The clerk packed Charlotte’s shoes in one shopping bag and Alicia’s in another, and the three of them left the shoe area.

  “So now what?” Charlotte asked.

  “Can we go look at some shorts?” Alicia answered.

  “Fine with me.”

  When they arrived in juniors, Alicia loaded her arms with five pairs of shorts, five shirts, one pair of jeans, and two T-shirts. Each piece was designed by J-Lo, Nautica, or Tommy Hilfiger.

  Charlotte browsed through another rack and passed to Alicia a sleeveless jean dress to add to the pile. Then she gave her a pair of white capri pants she thought were pretty cute. Finally, Alicia went into the dressing room, and Matthew sat down in a chair nearby. Just as he did, Charlotte’s phone rang.

  “Hello?” she said, walking away from her son when she saw that it was Aaron.

  “Why aren’t you at work today?”

  “I decided to take the kids shopping.”

  “Well, you could’ve told me, don’t yo
u think?”

  “I didn’t know for sure that we were going until this morning.” Charlotte didn’t like the way he was trying to keep tabs on her. He was acting as if she needed to report in to him.

  “I guess I won’t see you at all today, then, will I?” he asked.

  “Probably not.”

  “And why is that?”

  “Because we’re in Schaumburg, and I don’t know what time we’ll be back.”

  “Come on now, Charlotte. It’s not like you’re going to be shopping late into the evening. Not when it’s only eleven o’clock right now.”

  “But Matthew wants to see a movie, and then we have to get dinner,” she said, looking around, making sure no one was listening.

  “Let his sister or his father take him.”

  “What?”

  “Let Alicia or Curtis take him.”

  “So what are you saying? That you want me to abandon my son so that I can come be with you?”

  “No. But since you’re with him now, I’m sure he won’t mind being without his mother for a couple of hours. And to make sure he doesn’t miss you, you and I can get together while they’re at the theater.”

  “Absolutely not,” Charlotte said. Betraying Curtis was one thing, but neglecting Matthew was another. She could certainly be categorized as a terrible wife, but a terrible mother she would never be. As a matter of fact, she would never again do what she did last night, stopping by Aaron’s like some hooker when she was supposed to be picking up a video for her son. The scary part was that she’d never thought about her actions from this perspective until just now.

  “Well, you do what you have to, and so will I,” he assured her.

  “You know, Aaron, I’m sick of you threatening me.”

  “Is that what you think? That I’m threatening you?” he said, cracking up laughing. “Girl, these aren’t threats, these are promises I plan to keep. So, if you can’t be here for me, then I’m calling Michelle.”

  “Good for you, Aaron. You be with whomever you want to.”

  “I will. Trust me, I will,” he said and hung up.

  Charlotte glanced over toward the dressing room and saw Alicia looking for her. She was wearing the dress Charlotte had given her to try on, and Charlotte knew Alicia wanted her opinion of it. So she hurried back in that direction.