Carry My Heart

by Cooper, J. S.

  “We’re just getting two beers, man.” Josh sounded exasperated and I just grinned at him. Nina giggled and stared at me for a few seconds before leaning forward.

  “I want to know your story, Jacob.” Her eyes looked at me for a few seconds with a serious expression and I realized then that she had a lot more going for her than I’d thought. She wasn’t the bumbling airhead I’d assumed she was. But then, it should have made sense to me that Sage wouldn’t be friends with an airhead.

  “There’s not much to know.” I shrugged innocently, wondering what Sage had told her about me. It hurt me inexplicably that Nina didn’t seem to know about our history. I don’t know why it should bother me so much. I should be happy that Sage had moved on with her life, but a part of me really wanted for Sage to have told her best friend about me. About the lost love of her life. If I was that. Maybe I wasn’t. Maybe she didn’t really care about me in that way, anymore. Maybe she’d been over me for a long time. Maybe it was just the anger and hurt that had remained. That would make sense. I mean, it was almost too much to ask that she would still have feelings for me. I could feel a wave of anxiety and stress hitting me. I swallowed hard. I couldn’t allow myself to worry about it too much right now. And it didn’t matter if she didn’t love me anymore. I loved her enough for both of us. And I just wanted her to be happy. That was all I wanted. I could live the rest of my life alone knowing that she was happy. She deserved happiness. She deserved everything that the world had to offer. I took a deep breath then and gave Nina a winning smile. “There’s not much to know, but I’d love to get to know you better. If you’re Sage’s best friend, you must be an awesome person.”

  “Wow.” She looked at me with an impressed expression on her face and I could tell she was trying to size me up. “Not only are you handsome, but you’re smooth as well.” She giggled slightly and played with her hair, before leaning forward to whisper in my ear, “I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but I’m warning you, don’t fuck around with Sage. If you do one thing to hurt that girl, I swear I will kill you.” She moved back then and stared into my eyes. “And that’s a promise,” she said. I stared at her with respect and a sense of happiness. I was glad that Sage had a friend like Nina.

  “Understood.” I nodded, and I could see Josh staring at us with narrowed eyes trying to figure out what was going on.

  “Good.” She turned back to look at Josh. “Where are the wings?”

  “They’re coming, woman.” He laughed and handed her a glass. “Here, take this beer.”

  “You promised me beer and wings,” she said and just as easily as that she was back to flirting with him. “All I have right now is a beer.”

  “Woman, they’re coming.” Josh chuckled, and I could tell from the expression on his face that he was in a great mood. He took another enthusiastic swig of his beer and then said, “You’re a handful, aren’t you?”

  “You have no idea.” She winked at him as she chugged down her beer. I had no need to be worried about her. She could definitely handle herself. I felt my phone vibrate and I pulled it from my pocket. I saw Kimberly’s name on the screen again and I froze. What did she want?

  “What do you guys want?” Nina asked me, and I looked at her for a few seconds before answering.

  “Uhm, Sage wants a Rekorderlig cider. I’ll take a Heffe if they have one. Also, order some cheese fries and nachos,” I said with a small smile. I looked back down at the screen and opened the message to read it quickly. “Call me, Jacob.” It said and then the next message is what made my heart drop. “I’m coming to visit next weekend. Get ready. Xoxo.” Shit! Kimberly was coming. I could feel my face burning up and I had no idea what I was going to do.

  “Anything else, Jacob?” Nina’s voice sounded concerned. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m fine. Thanks.”

  “You sure?” Her eyes narrowed. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”

  “No ghost. I’m fine.” I grinned and put my phone back in my pocket. My heart was racing. This was the last thing that I needed right now. Why was Kimberly coming? Did she want to cause trouble? No, she couldn’t possibly know. Could she? I shook my head to try and rid myself of thoughts of her. Now was not the time to worry about it. I was going to enjoy the evening with Sage and just see what happened.

  “Why don’t you go back to Sage.” Nina pushed my shoulder. “We’ll bring the stuff over when it comes.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yeah, yeah.” She nodded. “Go play some games.”

  “Okay, thanks.” I smiled at her and headed back over to Sage. She was standing next to three guys that were waiting to play the pinball machine behind her. “Hey, you doing okay?” I asked as I approached her. The bar was starting to get crowded and I had to raise my voice a little bit.

  “I’m good,” she said with a small smile and then blushed as she stumbled into me as two guys brushed past her rudely. Her body felt soft and warm against me and I could feel myself immediately reacting to her touch. I wanted to pull her into my arms and crush her body against mine so that I could feel every inch of her against me.

  “Are you all right?” I asked her as I grabbed her arms to steady her.

  “Yeah, I’m good, thanks.” She gave me a half-smile. “It’s crazy here tonight.”

  “Would you prefer to go somewhere else?”

  “No, are you joking?” She gave me a crazy look. “I still need to whoop your ass.”

  “Whoop my ass?” I laughed at her vocabulary. “Do you really think you can whoop my ass?”

  “I know I can, honey.” She grinned at me and for a few seconds, it felt like we were back in the orphanage teasing each other.

  “Well, let’s get started. What shall we play first? Tetris?”

  “You’re on.” She grinned. “Shouldn’t we get some coins first?”

  “Aww.” I pulled some coins out of my pocket. “I’m already ahead of you, Sensei. I got coins before you arrived.”

  “You think of everything.” She smiled and made a face at me. As she stuck her tongue out and wrinkled her nose, all I could think about was sucking on the tip of her tongue. I wondered what she would do if I leaned forward and just kissed her. Right here, in front of everyone.

  “Yes, I do.” I winked at her. “Hmm, I have an idea.”

  “Oh God, another idea?” She mock shivered in front of me. “What’s this idea now?”

  “Ha ha, don’t make me laugh, Sage. I’m thinking whoever wins Tetris tonight has to serve the other one breakfast in bed tomorrow.”

  “Wow, okay. So you want to serve me breakfast in bed, huh?” She winked at me and I just shook my head at her.

  “So we’re on?”

  “We’re so on.” She gave me her best blue steel face. “Hey, girl.” She looked over my shoulder and I turned around and saw Nina and Josh heading back toward us. “Thanks,” she said as she took the cider from Nina and then sipped some from the glass. “Mmm, mmm good.” She licked her lips and then giggled as I gave her a weird look. “Try it,” she said as she handed the glass to me. “You’ll see why I love it.”

  “Okay,” I said and grabbed the glass and took a long gulp. I swallowed the sweet liquid down my throat and groaned as I handed her the glass back. “That tastes like strawberry soda. Are you sure that it has alcohol in it?”

  “Positive.” She laughed. “Now come on or are you scared that I’m going to beat you?”

  “Never. You will never beat me.” I laughed alongside her, and we walked to the Tetris machine like the best of friends.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Sage

  “Did you have fun tonight?” Jacob questioned me as we entered the living room. I watched as he pulled his sweater off and threw it onto the couch. He turned toward me, and I could see his pecs through his T-shirt. I looked down toward his flat stomach and I swallowed hard. Why did he have to be so sexy? And why was this already so complicated between us?

  “I had a great tim
e,” I answered honestly. I wanted to be moody and mad at him. I didn’t want him to think that I could enjoy spending time with him, but I couldn’t lie. “I haven’t had that much fun in a really long time.”

  “No?” He looked really pleased with himself and a part of me warmed that he was happy that he’d made me happy.

  “No.” I made a face at him and laughed. “But maybe that’s also because I have breakfast to look forward to tomorrow.” I rubbed my stomach. “Yummy yummy in my tummy.”

  “Oh, Sage.” His face looked serious and sexy as he walked toward me, his eyes all of a sudden intense as his gaze fell to my hands on my stomach. “And what does that beautiful tummy want in it in the morning?”

  I blushed as my mind immediately thought, you, and I could have groaned out loud. Was I sex crazy right now? All I could think about was touching him and being touched by him. I wanted his hands on me. They looked so strong and masculine. Jacob had grown up into one fine man. It was weird being around him now that we were both adults. We were still essentially the same people, but there was a sexual tension that had never existed there before. And it had been really apparent as we’d played games; standing so close together, teasing each other, touching each other’s arms and shoulders. I’d never been more aware of a man before in my life.

  “Why don’t you surprise me,” I said. “And when I say surprise me, don’t forget the Nutella crepes and strawberries.”

  “How could I ever forget the Nutella crepes?” He laughed. “Do you want bananas as well?”

  “No, no, bananas. You’re the banana lover.” I stuck my tongue out at him. “Don’t go pawning your bananas off on me.”

  “I would never pawn anything off on you.” He pouted. “Do you really think I’d do such a thing?”

  “Yes!” I nodded vehemently. “I remember when you used to try and put your broccoli and spinach on my plate back at the orphanage.”

  “Lies!” He grinned. “I would never do such a thing.”

  “Sure thing, Popeye,” I said and then did the Popeye whistle. “Do you know how much spinach I had to eat because of you?”

  “Because you loved me so.” He laughed awkwardly and as his laugh trailed off, we both stared at each other awkwardly. I think that neither one of us knew how to respond to that statement. It was a fact. We both knew that I’d loved him. I’d thought we had loved each other. I guess I’d been wrong.

  “I didn’t love you that much. I hated spinach myself,” I said finally and laughed. I didn’t want this hanging over my head anymore. I didn’t want to be sad. I didn’t want to be bitter. I didn’t want to feel rejected. I didn’t want to not be able to laugh. “It’s a good thing I don’t have to eat your spinach anymore,” I said with a small laugh and Jacob’s expression changed.

  “Would you though?” he asked softly, and I froze.

  “Would I what?”

  “Would you eat my spinach if I asked you to?”

  “I dunno.” I shrugged, feeling hot. Why was he asking me this? Was he really asking if I still loved him? And if so, why?

  “Do you want to watch a movie?” he asked me, turning away and reaching over for the remote.

  “Now?” I asked with a small yawn. I was tired and a little drunk, but even though it was late, I was loathed to go to bed right away. I didn’t want the night to end.

  “Yeah now.” He nudged me in the shoulder. “Come on, sleepy head. I’ll make us some hot chocolate. I’ve even got marshmallows.”

  “Oh, why are you tempting me?” I asked, licking my lips.

  “Because I can,” he said and gave me a warm smile. “So?”

  “Okay.” I nodded and stifled a yawn. “I can’t guarantee I’ll stay awake, but I’ll do my best.”

  “Okay, go and put your pj’s on and I’ll get the hot chocolate going.”

  “You going to use real chocolate?” I asked hopefully.

  “Is there any other way to do it?”

  “No.” I giggled and walked to the bedroom to change. It was weird how easily we’d fallen back into our old camaraderie. As if we’d never been apart. I grabbed a pair of shorts and my long Yellowstone T-shirt and quickly changed. I looked in the mirror and saw that my hair looked a little messy and my makeup was slightly smudged. I grabbed my hairbrush without thinking and brushed the tangles out of my hair before putting it up in a ponytail. I walked toward the bathroom and grabbed a makeup remover wipe from the vanity and started cleaning my face.

  “Don’t brush your teeth.” Jacob came up behind me in the bathroom and poked me in the side. “I’ve got cookies to go with the hot chocolate.”

  “Not going to brush my teeth,” I said, and I felt like my whole body was on a roller coaster as I watched him pulling his jeans off right in front of me. “Um, what are you doing?” I asked as he then pulled off his T-shirt and stood there in just his boxer shorts. His white, snug, tight, body fitting boxer shorts. That left nothing to the imagination. I swallowed as I stared at his visible package. Oh God, my heart was racing and my whole body felt warm as I stared at his body.

  “Getting ready for the movie.” He laughed, and I felt his arm go around my waist as he reached past me to grab floss from the shelf.

  “By flossing?” I asked him, my eyes narrowed as he continued to stand right behind me. I could feel his body heat through my clothes and it was making me feel even hotter.

  “Ha, guess I should wait to floss.” He put it down on the side of the sink and then pulled my ponytail. “Smarty-pants.”

  “Well, you’re the one that just told me not to brush my teeth.” I put my wipe into the trash can and turned around to look into his eyes. “If that makes me a smarty-pants, then you don’t have very high standards.” I laughed as I gazed into his sky-blue eyes, so close to mine. I watched as his eyes surveyed my face, looking over every inch of me, from my forehead to my nose to my chin and then to a spot right below my right eye. “What?” I said self-consciously rubbing the spot he was staring at. “What are you looking at?”

  “Your freckles.” He grinned, his eyes light as his fingers caught ahold of mine and pulled them away from my face and then lightly ran over my freckles. “You’re even more beautiful without makeup, you know that, right?”

  “Uh huh.” I rolled my eyes. “Isn’t that what guys always say? Until you roll up with no makeup and then they’re like, what the hell happened?”

  “I don’t know about other guys and other girls, Sage. I only know about you and me. And right now, I’m telling you that you’re beautiful with no makeup.” His voice was warm and husky as his fingers lightly moved across my cheek, and then down the bridge of my nose and then traced the lines of my lips. “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, Sage,” he said and brought both of his hands up to the side of my face and just gazed at me. “The most beautiful, the funniest, the smartest, the most caring, wonderful girl in the world.”

  And before I could say anything to him, he leaned forward and kissed me. And it was frankly, the most perfect, most wonderful moment in my life. I didn’t care about anything else in that moment asides from the feel of his soft luscious lips on mine as he cradled my face. He pulled back slowly and then kissed the tip of my nose, and then my forehead and then both cheeks and then his fingers ran through my hair.

  “Every single part of you is perfect, my dear Sage.” He licked his lips then and it almost seemed as if he were nervous. “Now I better head back to the kitchen and finish this hot chocolate before I get too carried away.” He grinned at me mischievously then. “Why don’t you go and choose a movie?”

  “You’re going to let me choose the movie?” I asked, feigning shock. “Has hell frozen over?”

  “Keep that up and I won’t.” He grinned, and I felt his hand lightly tapping my ass before he exited the room. I stood there feeling bewildered, flustered and happy. My head was all over the place. I placed my face in my hands and groaned. Why me? Why was everything always so complicated in my life? Why was Jaco
b doing this to me? I sighed and then headed to the living room. I felt like I was floating as I moved into the other room and relaxed onto the couch. I grabbed the remote and turned the TV on and flipped to the movies on demand screen.

  “No old movies,” Jacob shouted from the kitchen as the sound started playing from the TV. “And no rom-coms.”

  “No fair. You said I could choose the movie,” I shouted back. “That means I can choose whatever I want.”

  “Fine.” He groaned as he walked into the room holding two cups. “Here you go,” he said as he handed me a cup with a huge marshmallow at the top. “The cookies are in the oven.”

  “You’re baking fresh cookies?”

  “Don’t be too excited.” He laughed. “They’re premade. Nestlé Toll House.”

  “I love Nestlé Toll House cookies,” I said as I took a sip from the cup. “This is delicious.”

  “Thank you,” he said as he settled onto the couch, next to me. “So what are we going to watch.”

  “I don’t know yet.” I shook my head. “Let me see what’s available.”

  “So, do you think Nina is going to hook up with Josh?” Jacob asked me curiously and I felt my heart warm at the concerned expression on his face.

  “Why do you ask?”

  “I was just curious.” He shrugged. “She really seemed to be into him and I was surprised when they started making out after we played Pac-Man.” He rolled his eyes slightly. “Just seemed a bit quick.”

  “Oh?” I looked at him. “Were you jealous?”

  “Jealous?” He shook his head and then gave me a devious look. “Not that she was kissing him, but maybe the fact that he was getting a kiss and I wasn’t.”

  “I didn’t think you wanted to kiss me,” I said with a slight tilt of my nose. “From what I remember, you’re the one that stopped it the last time we kissed.”