Erectile Dysfunction- What Worked for us

by Jacob Clark

  He gave me another side eye and raised his eyebrows.

  Me: I was kidding.

  Him: Good. I was talking about your sexual habits with Michelle. How many times a week were you having sex before you became impotent?

  Me: Do you have to use that word?

  Him: I can use ED, but it’s essentially the same thing.

  Me: Let’s use ED. It sounds less… emasculating.

  Him: Very well. Before your ED problem surfaced, how many times a week did you have intercourse?

  Me: You mean with Michelle or with the goat?

  Him: I’m gonna fire you as a patient.

  Me: Sorry. Before I went to Europe we made love two or three times a week. While I was gone, not at all, although I noticed the mail man didn’t seem too happy to see me when I returned.

  Him: And did you masturbate at all while you were abroad?

  He: No.

  Him: You probably should have. Your body may have taken your self-imposed abstinence as a sign you were no longer interested.

  Me: Yes. Looking back I wish I had.

  Him: So you went from three times a week to a screeching halt. And now you want to go back to the way it was before? Two or three times a week?

  Me: Yes. That would be wonderful. For me and for Michelle, and probably the goat too.

  Him: Hey, stop it with the goat, will you?

  Me: I’ll have you know I only fuck female goats. I’m not weird or anything.

  Him: Want me to send you for a psych eval?

  Me: Sorry. I’ll shut up now.

  He said that, in his opinion, based on all my lab results and stress test and existing conditions and sexual habits, that Viagra was probably best for me.

  He said that if Viagra didn’t work for me, we’d try Cialis. But that there were factors which led him to believe Viagra should be my first choice.

  He also told me (pay attention, this is important) that he wanted me to use Viagra only as a last resort. Not to take it just because I was too lazy to do other things to bring on an erection.

  I asked him why not.

  He said that men who take ED drugs as a first line of defense can become dependent on it. In other words, they lose their ability to get hard without it. And then, if they ever have to stop using it because for medical reasons, they’re out of luck. They no longer have the ability to get an erection without it. And their days of enjoying intercourse with the woman (or goat) of their choice is gone forever.

  “Do whatever you can to give yourself an erection the old fashioned way. Have Michelle help. And if nothing seems to be working, take a Viagra. Either take a short break while it takes effect, or do other things for awhile that don’t involve intercourse. But give the other things a chance to work first.”

  He prescribed me four tablets of Viagra in the 50 mg size, scheduled a follow-up a month later, and wished me good luck.

  From Michelle:

  I was so excited when Jacob brought home the Viagra. I envisioned our troubles as being over forever. I thought he could just pop one whenever one of us was in the mood and we’d make love until the crack of dawn.

  Then he explained Paul’s stipulations. That we only use it after we’ve tried other means of getting him hard.

  Still, it sounded reasonable.

  We made love that night because both of us were looking forward to trying out our new miracle drug.

  But we didn’t need it that night. Jacob was able to get hard fairly easily. He said he supposed it was because he’d thought of making love to me pretty much nonstop since he left Paul’s office and “willed himself” into it.

  Two or three days later we get frisky again with different results. Try as I might, I just couldn’t coax his little soldier into standing at attention.

  So he very happily popped the magic pill and we went on to other things.

  About forty minutes later he was hard. I mean, rock hard, and we enjoyed an extremely pleasurable and extended session of intercourse.

  He never softened at all until he came. Never waivered. He was just as hard when he came as when he first inserted himself into me.

  It was, in a word, wonderful.

  From Jacob:

  The Viagra worked great the first night we had to use it. And it’s continued to work great every time we’ve used it since then.

  A couple more things about it… Paul told me when I went back for my follow-up that Viagra, like any medication, can lose its potency over time. That if I took it exclusively three times a week for several years, it might not work for me as well after three years as it did for the beginning.

  That was another reason he’s hesitant to prescribe it as the first line of defense against erectile dysfunction.

  “It’s fine to use an ED medication as a crutch. Or as a backup. But if it’s your first solution every time, your body might forget that manual stimulation or other means are even options. And if you ever have to go back to those means, you may well find they no longer work.”

  At my follow-up, Paul prescribed four tablets, this time for the larger one milligram size.

  Him: Now I’m not going to put this on the bottle, but when you get this prescription filled I want you to use a pill cutter and cut each of them in half. And only take half a tablet each time. Take it only when you need it, and never two nights in a row.

  Me: Um… okay. But why not just give me the smaller size?

  Him: Because Viagra is an expensive drug. And your insurance is cheap. They’ll only approve four tablets per month regardless of the tablet’s size. This way you’ll have eight doses per month instead of four.

  Me: What will happen if I forget your instructions and take a full tablet? Will my dick get harder?

  Him: No. You’ll just run out of pills faster.

  Me: And why can’t I have sex two nights in a row if I want?

  Him: I never said you couldn’t have sex two nights in a row. I just said I didn’t want you to take Viagra two nights in a row. As with any prescription medication, you want to take the least amount possible to get the desired affect. With a lot of men, the effects of Viagra will linger for more than a day. If you use it one night, and manual stimulation or other means to get an erection the second night, there may well be enough residual Viagra left in your system to give you a boost for the second night as well.

  Me: Wow! It works for two nights?

  Him: In some men, yes.

  A friend of mine who has a battle-related war injury and is treated by the Veteran’s Administration told me the other day told me they have the same policy. They’ll only prescribe four tablets of Viagra per month.

  I think it’s a damn shame that anyone, much less an insurance company, presumes they have the right to tell us how many times we can have sex with our wife each month. You can damn sure bet those insurance company fat cats approve as many tablets as they want for their own use.

  If you’re on a budget and on good terms with your doctor, and if he says 50 MG are enough for you, see if he’ll consider prescribing the larger size instead. Promise you’ll cut them in half and take half a tablet only when you need to.

  But explain to him that keeping Mama happy requires intercourse more than four times a month.

  Hopefully he’ll understand.

  Erectile Dysfunction Tool Box Thus Far: 12 Items

  1. Frequent penis stimulation

  2. Pin stimulation to penis head

  3. Eat well. Diet is everything

  4. Enlist your doctor’s help

  5. A good selection of written erotica

  6. Play. Experiment. Find new things to love

  7. Water is our friend. Drink lots of it.

  8. Limit caffeine

  9. Ice can be nice

  10. Try warming oils as a stimulant

  11. Porn as a visual mood setter

  12. ED Medications as a backup, not as a go-to

  Chapter 11: Get in the habit of holding some back

  Not every man can do th
is, but it’s well worth the effort to try

  Okay, this little trick won’t work for all men. But it’ll work for a lot of you.

  And granted, it takes some effort and some practice.

  But if you can master the technique, it’ll help you tremendously in achieving an erection next time you need one.

  What we’re talking about here is limiting the amount of ejaculate you release when you have your orgasm.

  Many of you are saying, “What? I have a choice?”

  The short answer is… maybe.

  Some men (our Jacob included) have the ability, under the right circumstances, to stop the flow early, before their testicles are completely emptied.

  To understand this, let’s look at the whole purpose of the testicles.

  They are for making, and storing, semen. That’s it. That’s the only reason they exist. To make sure that when it comes time to make a baby they have the stuff ready and available to allow the man to do his part.

  And you thought they were also meant to be a target for angry girlfriends to kick. No, not at all. That’s just a fringe benefit. For her, not for you.

  Most people think the entire load of ejaculate, or semen, is made up of sperm.

  The fact is, sperm makes up only a tiny part of the semen. Most of it is just a delivery vehicle to get the sperm into the female’s body and to the eggs it’s meant to fertilize.

  Okay. That’s what the balls are for. But they, by themselves, have no way to enable the man who hauls them around all day to deposit his load into the prospective mother of his choice.

  That’s where the penis comes in. Obviously the sperm delivery systems that are the testicles does no good without a penis to facilitate the whole delivery process.

  In that regard, the penis and testicles work together to plant the fertilizer of life onto (or in close proximity) to the seed of life.

  Still with us?

  Good.

  But they themselves can’t make the man find the woman he needs to further the species.

  Nor can they encourage the woman of his choice to play ball. After all, sex is messy.

  That’s where the brain comes in to help bring everything together.

  The brain is in charge of something we call “attraction.” It makes the woman attractive so that he wants to deposit his load into her.

  It makes the man attractive to the woman so she’s willing to allow him to deposit it there.

  And the brain recognized the whole “reward” thing. To sweeten the pot, it gives us orgasms as rewards for our efforts to further the species.

  And that, boys and girls, is a nutshell (and way oversimplistic) explanation of how procreation works.

  Of course, there are many more things at play here.

  The capacity of testicles is not finite.

  They can only hold so much semen.

  When they start to get full, men tend to become more apt to look around for a sex partner. Or is more likely to make advances on his wife or girlfriend.

  The testicles pretty much work nonstop, twenty four hours a day, to produce that sperm and the semen it’s mixed with. It wants the man to be ready to deliver the sperm anytime.

  However, when they get full or close to full, the pressure starts to build. The result is a crude term men often refer to as “blue balls.”

  “Blue balls” are sensitive to the touch, and can make it uncomfortable for men to walk or sit, or pretty much anything else.

  When a man uses another rather crude term, and says he’s “horny,” he likely has a case of blue balls, or is close to it.

  Just how long it takes for a man to develop blue balls after his last sex session varies on several things. The man’s physical makeup, his testosterone level, his sexual appetite in general, how often he has sex, the availability of willing sexual partners, among others.

  Here’s the thing. Whether a man’s testicles are full or close to full affects his ability to get an erection.

  And that makes sense if you think about it. If the testicles are full of semen that wants and needs to get out, it’s only natural for the brain to help facilitate the whole sex process.

  And the first step in facilitating the sex process, at least for the man, is to get an erection.

  They’re all tied together, you see, in an intricate orchestration meant to empty the testicles and allow them to start producing more.

  That’s when the brain steps in and says, “I’m gonna make you feel horny, dude, so you start looking for a place to shoot that stuff.”

  That’s also why you guys lose all interest in sex the moment you ejaculate. Because your testicles are empty. The pressure is all gone.

  Here’s the question we set out to answer:

  What if it didn’t have to be all or nothing? What if we could train ourselves not to empty our testicles completely, but to leave some of the semen behind?

  It stands to reason that if some were left behind, they would fill up again faster, the brain would send that horniness fairy sooner, and we’d be able to get another erection sooner.

  Like maybe in a couple of days instead of a week or more.

  Makes sense, doesn’t it?

  It’s just too darn bad it’s impossible to do that.

  Only shoot half a load, we mean, and save the rest for another day.

  Isn’t it?

  Impossible?

  Maybe not.

  In fact, definitely not.

  Some Indians have been practicing the technique for generations. We’re talking about men who live in India, not Native Americans.

  It’s doable for most (but not all) men. For most men, it merely takes practice.

  From Jacob:

  I’ll admit, this technique has been the hardest one for me to master. I think it’s partly because I tend to lose my mind when I have an orgasm. I’m lost in the moment, and the last thing I want to think about is, “Hey, I need to save some so I have an easier time getting an erection next time.”

  I have a bad habit of frequently saying instead, “Oh, to hell with it. This feels too good to stop.”

  It’s also because, even when my head is in the right place and I’m able to pull up short, there’s such a small window to hit. And if you don’t hit that window, your body takes over and you can no longer control it.

  It just happens on its own, the way nature intended. I empty my testicles and then they have to start all over again to fill the empty space.

  Oh, don’t let me mislead you. I have had limited success at this technique. Just not as much as I’d like to have had. And I’m still working to get batter at it.

  And it really is effective in shortening the recovery time, and making it easier to get an erection a couple of days later. It makes sense. The fuller the testicles, the more the semen is going to want out. And the hornier our brain makes us feel.

  As I see it, those are the two biggest difficulties with this technique:

  - Keeping your mind on the goal, when all your body wants to do is give you an orgasm

  - Hitting that window, between the time your orgasm starts and the split second you have to stop it.

  The articles we read made it sound so simple: As the first flush of pleasure hits your brain, simply turn off the spigot. That first rush that tells you your orgasm is starting, you have to stop. Completely and immediately. Just slam the brakes on and come to a complete and total stop.

  I know. It’s not easy. Believe me, I know from experience.

  But if you can train yourself to do that, two things will happen.

  You’ll still have your orgasm. Granted, it won’t be as powerful or as prolonged. But you’ll still have one.

  You’ll likely be a bit disappointed at first. After all, it’ll go against everything you’ve ever wanted to achieve sexually. You may even pout like a little boy whose mother took his candy away from him.

  But if you look at it another way, that this will help you get another orgasm two, three, four nights in the futur
e (and another chance to have an orgasm), it’s a little easier to handle.

  After all, two orgasms are better than one. There’s no denying that fact.

  The second thing that’ll happen when coming to a complete stop is that you will ejaculate. That much is inevitable.

  But… you won’t ejaculate your whole load. Much of it will be left behind.

  And that, my friends, is the whole purpose of this particular exercise.

  Michelle asked me a couple of weeks ago what I meant about having to “hit the window.”

  I thought about it a bit, trying to put it into terms she could understand.

  “Picture yourself standing aside a roadway with a baseball in your hand. And a car is coming by at seventy miles an hour. Its back window is rolled down, and your job is to throw that ball into that window.”

  She asked, “And the car is going seventy miles an hour?”

  I said, “Yes.”

  She said, “That’s pretty hard.”

  I said, “Now you understand.”

  Then she said something that sounded absolutely ludicrous at the time, but which turned out to be very profound.

  She said, “Why not slow the car down to, say, thirty miles an hour?”

  From Michelle:

  He looked at me as though I’d grown a second set of ears or something.

  He said, “What do you mean?”

  I told him he always picked up his pace tremendously when he felt he was getting ready to cum. He’s been that way in all the years we’ve been making love. But apparently he never realized it before.

  He was incredulous. He said, “Do I really?”

  I told him he sped up with all the subtlety of a caveman dragging his woman by the hair.

  I said, “Why not just slow down? You know it’ll happen. It always does. You’ll still have your orgasm. You’ll still cum, but maybe by going slower it’ll be easier for you to hit your window.”