The Last Wish of Sasha Cade

by Cheyanne Young

  “But he’s innocent.” My forehead drops to my palm, and I stare at the perfectly cut piece of coffee cake. “This can’t be how this works. Life can’t be this bad. First it takes my best friend and now it’s wrongly punishing her brother.” My other half. My first love.

  My voice cracks on the last word. I am so sick of crying. So sick of hurting. “Elijah never had parents, or a home, or a sister he got to meet,” I say as the ceramic pumpkin salt and pepper shakers blur beneath my tears. “Now he won’t even have his freedom. He won’t even have a chance to live his life.”

  The room goes so silent I’m not even sure the Reinharts are still in here. I close my eyes and wipe away the tears, and then Jarrah’s hand is warm on my shoulder. “I have an errand to run,” she says simply, her voice a little thick. Or maybe it’s just my imagination. She grabs the stack of their money and slips out the door, leaving her coffee cake untouched.

  “Well, that was weird,” Mr. Reinhart says a moment later. “Guess she wants it back in the bank where it belongs.”

  “What are we going to do now?” I reach for my money and shove it in my pocket, where it makes a lump in my jeans. A shameful reminder that I’m not the right person to fix this for Elijah. I’ve let both him and Sasha down.

  Mr. Reinhart takes a bite of his coffee cake. “We hope for the best.”

  ***

  We get the week off school for Thanksgiving break, and the reprieve from homework couldn’t have come at a better time. I am worried about Elijah, missing Sasha like crazy and filled to the brim with guilt over the whole situation. But at this point, flunking out of chemistry would only be a blip in the vast galaxy of everything that is wrong.

  My parents have to work until Thursday, so I spend my days at Izzy’s helping her with the rush of Thanksgiving orders. Unlike at school, where I am a catatonic zombie, I find that I can focus on my tasks here in the flower shop. It’s peaceful arranging flowers, and after all the hours I’ve spent standing at this counter, Izzy’s feels more like home than anywhere else.

  She takes my wrist on Tuesday morning, turning it upward while she hums along to a David Bowie song on the radio. “You are stressed about something,” she says, rubbing an essential oil onto my skin. It’s a mixture of peppermint and maybe thyme, and she applies a lot more than usual. “Maybe even ashamed. If I were a betting woman, I’d say you’re worried about Thanksgiving dinner with the Cades.”

  My eyes dart to her. “How do you know this stuff?” I ask. She just shrugs and turns back toward the cash register, her skirt sweeping along the floor, taking fallen petals with it.

  Though my head is swimming with worries, I could definitely tack down Thanksgiving dinner as one of my bigger concerns. I haven’t talked to the Cades since they all but threw me out of their house last week. Then Saturday morning, Sasha’s mom called my mom and invited us all over for the holiday. Mom happily accepted — having no idea what had happened — and I’ve been weird about it ever since.

  I haven’t told my parents about Elijah, and I’m guessing the Cades won’t bring him up. If I know them as well as I think I do, we will probably all enjoy a large and delicious meal without any mention of things that are awkward. But how can I ever look at them the same way again? These are the people who would have happily given their own lives to save Sasha, yet they couldn’t be bothered to consider helping her brother. Not once, but twice, they had the chance to save him. And both times, they walked away.

  When I get home from work and find Mr. Cade’s SUV in our driveway, I can only guess he’s here to talk about Thanksgiving dinner. Too bad that nagging feeling in my gut, the sensation a luckier person might call intuition, is telling me otherwise.

  Mom and Dad are sitting with Mr. Cade at our kitchen table. On the counter, the coffee maker is gurgling and spewing out a fresh pot of my mom’s go-to drink for company.

  All eyes turn to me. Mr. Cade is dressed for work in a suit that probably cost as much as my car. He looks so out of place at our dinky kitchen table, his hands clasped together over our plastic tablecloth. Any other time he’s come to my house, it’s been for fun things like dinner parties or dropping off Sasha for a sleepover. Now, though, seeing him here is all wrong.

  My purse is slung over my shoulder and I hold on to the strap like it’s a security blanket. There’s a vibe in this room and it’s not that of a friendly chat.

  “There she is,” Mom says, her cheeks rosy from her heavy-handed makeup application. “Walter came to talk to you.”

  “Okay,” I say, my heartbeat ratcheting up to unsafe levels. “Is it about …?”

  “I was hoping to speak in private,” Mr. Cade says. “If it’s okay with your parents, of course.”

  “Not a problem at all.” Mom doesn’t even look at me as she puts her hand on Dad’s arm. “We’ll go outside and get some fresh air.” Funny how they still think Mr. Cade is this wonderful man with upstanding morals. They’re not even questioning why he’d be here to see me.

  When they’re gone, I pull out a chair and sit across from Sasha’s dad, somehow feeling like I’m in trouble for something, even though I’m not the one who abandoned Elijah. Mr. Cade takes off his glasses and sets them on the table. He pinches the bridge of his nose, an action that only takes a couple of seconds but feels like an eternity.

  “I owe you an apology,” he says. My eyes bug out. Of all the things I imagined him saying, that wasn’t one of them. He holds up a hand, then sighs and runs it through his white hair. “Sue doesn’t know I’m here. I wanted to talk to you first. I recently had a visit from a woman named Jarrah Reinhart.” He lifts his brows when he sees my reaction. “You know her?”

  “Yes, sir,” I say, tightening my grip on my purse strap. I’m still not sure if this is good news. “I’ve met her.”

  He nods, then clears his throat. “She showed me Elijah’s eighth grade report card. Apparently, he had given it to her back in the day.” He straightens, and a slight smile curves on his lips. “All A’s. I was quite impressed. This woman, whom I’d never met before, came to my office at work and spent an hour talking to me about Elijah Delgado. She made a real case for the boy, talking him up as if he were her own flesh and blood.”

  I press my lips together as I listen to his story. I’m trying to smile, but tears are lingering in the wings. “She’s a really nice lady.”

  “She is,” he says. The corner of his eyes crinkle. “She asked for my legal services. Said she didn’t have much, but she wanted to give me the entire contents of her savings account, one thousand dollars. She even had it in cash, right there in her hands.”

  Chills prickle up my spine. While Mr. Reinhart and I were giving up hope, Jarrah was making one last attempt. I gnaw on the inside of my lip until it goes raw.

  “Raquel,” he says, heaving a long sigh. “I loved my daughter with all of my heart. But the truth is that I kept a secret from her, and although I told myself it was for her own good, I realize now that I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have judged Elijah for the sins of his father.”

  His hands twist together and his forehead is creased with deep lines. “I kept asking myself, what would Sasha think? How would she see me now, refusing to help the boy? How could I do justice to her memory if I didn’t do something?”

  I can tell this is hard for him to admit, but the anticipation is about to break me in half. “What are you saying, Mr. Cade?”

  There are tears in his eyes, vulnerability I’ve never before seen in the tough Texas lawyer. “When that woman came to visit me, I saw some of Sasha in her. My daughter also sought out the good in people. She loved her brother and she would have wanted me to do anything I could to save him.”

  He laces his fingers together, elbows on the table, and the wealthiest man I know looks me right in the eyes.

  “I guess what I’m saying to you, Raquel, is that I’ve decided to help.”

&n
bsp; Chapter Thirty-One

  Over the next few days, Mr. Cade works his lawyer magic, and I decide to come clean to my parents about Sasha’s last wish. I figure I’ve already broken Sasha’s ultimate rule, so revealing everything to my parents isn’t much worse. After Thanksgiving dinner at the Cades’ house, I sit Sasha’s parents and mine together in the living room and show them Sasha’s first video.

  Mom didn’t cry as much as Mrs. Cade did, but Dad didn’t cry at all. He said this was the greatest gift Sasha could have given me. He said a friendship like that only comes along once in a lifetime, if you’re lucky. And I have to agree with him. I am the luckiest to have had Sasha, if only for a little while.

  While the infamous Walter Cade sets to work on the case, Mrs. Cade wants to meet Elijah through the jail’s video chat visitations. It costs twenty freaking dollars just for a ten-minute video call, but Elijah is allowed visitation time every day.

  I set up my laptop on the Cades’ dining table and log in to the jail’s visitation website. Mrs. Cade fusses with her hair as I set up the video chat. “You look fine,” I tell her, rolling my eyes.

  An empty booth stares back at us as we wait for them to let Elijah into the visitation room. In the corner of the computer screen, our ten minutes have already started. Once it reaches zero, our visitation time will be over and we won’t get to see him again until tomorrow. Mrs. Cade exhales. “I’m really nervous,” she whispers. That makes two of us.

  Even in an orange jumpsuit, Elijah is the cutest guy I’ve ever laid eyes on. I wave at him, and he grins at me, then turns his attention to Mrs. Cade.

  “Hello,” he says.

  “Elijah,” Mrs. Cade says, her voice warm. I don’t know how she manages to turn off the anxious vibe she had just a second ago. She leans forward. “I’m Sue Cade. I’m so happy to meet you.”

  “Same,” he says, his smile softening. “I wish it were in person and not like this, but yeah.”

  Mrs. Cade watches him as the timer on the corner of the screen slowly counts down the minutes. “You look just like her.”

  He grins. “So I’ve been told.”

  “How are you? Are they treating you okay?” Her voice cracks, and she reaches for a tissue. I use the opportunity to give him a look that shows how awkward I feel. He winks at me.

  “I’m fine. Really. Mr. Cade is confident about my case. Hopefully I’ll be out of here soon.”

  “Are you sure? No one is messing with you or anything?” Mrs. Cade dabs at her eyes. “Walter could talk with someone. Move you to a safer place.”

  Elijah shakes his head. “Nah, I’m good. My cellmate is in here for scamming people out of money online, so he’s not scary. If anything, I think he’s scared of me.”

  I smile, unsure what to say. I don’t want to take up Mrs. Cade’s time with him, so I just sit here and let her do the talking. Just getting to see him fills me with a peace I hope I can hold on to when the screen turns off.

  “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you, Elijah.” Mrs. Cade is full-on crying now. “I should have been there. We should have taken you in, honey. I’m so sorry. I’ll never forgive myself.”

  I put my arm around her shoulders. Elijah’s lips move like he’s trying to figure out what to say.

  “You’re here now,” he says after a moment. “And I really appreciate it.”

  The ten minutes fly by entirely too quickly, and soon a warning flashes across the computer telling us our time is almost up.

  “You’re going to be okay,” Mrs. Cade says, wiping her eyes with the fifth tissue she’s grabbed since this call began. “I can’t wait to meet you in person.”

  “Same,” Elijah says. For a quick moment, his grin looks just like Sasha’s, and I can practically feel Mrs. Cade thinking the same thing.

  “I’ll call you again tomorrow,” I say.

  “You let us know if you need anything,” Mrs. Cade says, as if he’s at a hotel and not locked up in prison.

  He chuckles. “Okay. Thank you.”

  ***

  The day before Elijah has to be at the courthouse to meet the judge (which has been expedited thanks to Mr. Cade), Mom makes us two gigantic bowls of ice cream and we eat it together while we watch Mean Girls with Sasha’s commentary playing next to us on the end table. I close my eyes when Sasha talks, grateful that her voice will never fade from my memory. Something tells me I’ll still be watching these things when I’m old.

  Although I’ve shared a few of Sasha’s adventures with our parents, most of them — the important ones — I’ve kept to myself.

  “Do you have your outfit picked out for tomorrow?” Mom asks, digging her spoon into vanilla ice cream covered in chocolate syrup.

  “Yeah, the navy blue dress. Does that look court-ish?” This isn’t exactly a court case like in the movies, but Mr. Cade has arranged a hearing with the judge to plead Elijah’s case. He explained to us that most good lawyers push this off as long as possible to delay sentencing, but he wants a fresh start for Elijah. So he pushed it forward. He’s obtained character references from the Reinharts and people who worked at Elijah’s old group homes. It only took a few minutes of the tough Texas lawyer’s time to convince Anthony to admit that Elijah never dealt drugs with him or his other roommates. Mr. Cade says we’re going to win this one. We’re all going to the courthouse to show our support.

  “I like the navy blue dress.” Mom’s lips curve up as she eats another spoonful. “I think you look very beautiful in that dress.”

  I lift an eyebrow. “That doesn’t really answer my question.”

  Her eyes flit over to me, the look on her face waking up the butterflies in my stomach. “I just thought you’d like to know.”

  The look she gives me is new for us. She may not have said it directly, but she’s talking about boys here. These are the kinds of things I always reserved for talks with Sasha. But now I guess these topics are finding their way into my relationship with my mom.

  “Thanks,” I say, feeling heat rush to my cheeks. On the computer beside me Sasha says, “None for you, Glen Coco!” before collapsing into giggles.

  “So,” Mom says a few minutes later. “There’s only one adventure left?”

  I nod, stirring my chocolate and ice cream until it’s a uniform color. “No telling when it will arrive. I’m not ready for them to be over.” After that first envelope arrived, I thought I’d go crazy waiting for the rest of the adventures. But now that it’s almost over, I find myself hoping the time will pass slower, the mail will take longer and this final adventure from Sasha won’t come until I’m fully ready to say goodbye.

  Mom watches Sasha’s face on the computer screen and then she turns to me. “I’m sure she’ll make it a good one.”

  At night, while I’m lying in bed unable to sleep because the courthouse meeting is tomorrow, my phone chimes from my nightstand. Reaching over, I see that it is 12:01 in the morning, and I have a new email from TheFutureSasha.

  Hey there favorites,

  The time has come to end this adventure. I think it’s only fitting to end by showing you the best day of my life. This one beats out every bad day I’ve ever had.

  Well, what are you waiting for? Watch the attached video!

  Love you and miss you both,

  Sasha

  The video attached to the email is practically glowing with how badly I want to watch it. I should wait for Elijah, probably. But if this is the best day of her life, I don’t think Elijah would fault me for my lack of patience.

  I play the video.

  Sasha grins into her webcam. “I’m just going to get right to it, okay? So this morning, I broke into my parents’ filing cabinet. The one they keep in a back closet in my dad’s office, under strict lock and key. I’ve always figured my adoption papers were in there, so today, with both of my parents gone, I just went for it.”


  She wiggles her eyebrows, and I see a hint of Elijah’s eyes sparkling at me through the screen. “There was a DVD included in my folder. It’s a file my mom saved from her email because back then she put everything on DVDs instead of flash drives. It was dated a few months after my parents had officially adopted me, so I’m not sure why the lady at the agency emailed this video to my mom, but she did. I guess this is when they found out about Elijah … but I don’t want to get into that right now. Right now is about you and me, big brother.”

  Sasha grins into the camera, her face still vibrant even though her hair had fallen out by then. She reaches up and the video goes blank. Then another one begins to play.

  The grainy footage is obviously from an old digital camera, circa 2000 or so. The room looks like a daycare, with colorful walls and toys all over the floor. Kids are playing in the background, but the camera is focused on two kids in particular. A baby sits on a blanket, holding a toy caterpillar on a string. The baby’s skin is a creamy tan, her hair black and her eyes the bluest I’ve ever seen.

  Beside her, a boy, about three years old, plays with a toy car. He has the same hair, the same skin tone and those same eyes. Elijah was a chubby toddler.

  Watching them play together makes me completely lose track of what the woman is saying, until she moves the camera closer to Elijah.

  “This is Elijah. He just arrived and he wanted to find his sister. Elijah, what are you doing?”

  “This is my sister,” he says, his fat little cheeks grinning as he wraps his arms around Sasha’s head. She looks startled, and then bops him in the face with her tiny fist.

  “It’s okay. I love you,” Elijah says, placing a wobbly toddler kiss on top of her head.

  The video cuts out and big Sasha appears again. Her eyes seem far away when she talks. “I always thought my biggest regret was that we never knew each other until it was too late. But that’s not true, Elijah. We were actually together, at least for a short while. We did know each other after all. There was a time in our lives where we were best friends, even if we can’t remember it.”