The Last Wish of Sasha Cade

by Cheyanne Young

  She focuses back on the webcam, and I get the chills when her gaze falls on me. “It may feel like that time is gone. But in a universe that is infinite, that moment still exists. It’s in the past, but it’s there, and it makes me happy. You were the brother I’d always wanted. And you still are.”

  I think Sasha meant for this to be a beautiful, heartwarming video, but a sadness hits me so hard I turn off my phone and toss it back on the nightstand. I sit up in bed, nausea rolling around my stomach. All those years ago, the future seemed so bright. Two beautiful siblings had the whole world ahead of them.

  Now only one of them does.

  Chapter Thirty-Two

  The blue dress might look good, but a cold front blew in last night and now I’m shivering on the long walk from the parking lot up to the county courthouse. Mrs. Cade throws an arm around my shoulders as we enter inside a set of glass doors.

  “Are you cold, or scared?” she asks, her breath smelling like the coffee she holds in her other hand.

  “Both.” It’s the honest-to-God answer. My parents offered to take off work for the day, but I’d insisted that they go about their normal lives. After all, letting my parents meet the guy I’m pretty much in love with during his court appearance? Not ideal. I worried that they would have told me not to miss any more school, but they didn’t. After all, my best friend has only been gone a few months.

  This is something I have to do.

  The courthouse has a life of its own, with people going every which way. Lawyers walking quickly in their tailored suits, faces bored or determined, or too focused on their cell phones. Worried mothers fussing over their sons’ ties, silk formalities that are only pulled from the closet for rare occasions like these.

  We have to go through a metal detector before we’re let in the main part of the building, and then Mrs. Cade and I spend a few minutes staring at the map in the lobby to figure out where to go. There are several courtrooms hearing many cases today. Some of them are simple things like people trying to get out of speeding tickets, and others are more severe, like trying to get a drug charge dropped. Mr. Cade told us this morning that Elijah’s meeting with the judge is closed door, and if we want to be here for moral support, we have to wait outside.

  I focus on breathing exercises as I sit on a hard bench next to Mrs. Cade, who is reading an ebook on her cell phone. She acts calm, but I notice she hasn’t flipped to the next page in a long time. The only reason we came today is because we want to be here the moment the judge releases Elijah, not that it’s guaranteed. But he has the truth and the tough Texas lawyer on his side, so I refuse to believe the judge would rule against him.

  When the doors swing open, I feel like it hasn’t been nearly long enough for the judge to rule in our favor. I bolt off the bench, my heart pounding and my teeth digging into my bottom lip. Does a quick meeting mean Elijah is screwed? Or —

  Mr. Cade seems ten feet tall as he strides out of the courtroom, shaking hands with colleagues as he passes. Behind him, Elijah wears a suit that’s too baggy and a subtle grin.

  “Well?” I practically shout at Mr. Cade and I rush to meet them.

  “All charges dropped,” Mr. Cade says, clapping a hand on Elijah’s back.

  All sense of propriety disappears into thin air as I rush forward and throw my arms around Elijah. He hugs me back, lifting me off the floor. I get lost in the scent of his shampoo, the fresh minty smell of his breath as he places a kiss on my cheek.

  When he sets me down, the whole world is spinning. I can’t take my eyes off him — not that I’d want to.

  “Thank you so much,” Elijah tells Mr. Cade. “I can’t ever repay you for helping me.”

  Mrs. Cade inhales sharply. “Oh Elijah,” she says, grabbing him in a tight hug. “It is so great to meet you in person.” His eyes go wide as he looks at me over her shoulder, and all I can do is smile.

  When she pulls back, she holds his face in her hands, and even though he’s taller than she is, she seems to be looking down on him with the utmost approval. Her lips curl at the corners. “You do have her eyes,” she whispers, tears filling her own.

  “So I’ve been told,” Elijah says, his gaze darting to me.

  “I think we should celebrate,” Mr. Cade’s voice booms. “I spoke with the Reinharts, and they’re happy to meet us for lunch. What do you say, Elijah?”

  He blinks. “Sounds … great, thanks.”

  We walk out of the courthouse together, this weird group of people who are all somehow related in ways that aren’t blood.

  As we step out into the chilly December air, I gaze up at the sky, a cloudless blue, and then close my eyes. I miss you, Sasha. And I did the best that I could.

  We pile into Mr. Cade’s SUV, Elijah and I in the back seat. He marvels at how creamy soft the leather interior feels, and then he takes my hand. My pulse quickens.

  In the rearview mirror, I catch Mrs. Cade’s eyes as they trail to our clasped hands. She looks away. And grins.

  Leave it to Mr. Cade to take us to the fanciest restaurant in the county. The Blue Crab is an upscale seafood restaurant only accessible to members of the country club next door. Elijah’s eyes widen as we enter and are taken to our reserved table. The Reinharts are already here, and although they introduce themselves, it feels like we’re all family, right from the start.

  Mrs. Cade directs Elijah to the seat next to hers. “I want to hear all about you,” she says, fawning over him the same way she used to fawn over Sasha. “Tell me everything.”

  “Everything would take a long time,” Elijah says, unfolding his napkin and placing it in his lap. “How about I start with the day I met Sasha online?”

  “Even better,” Mrs. Cade says, touching his arm.

  “There’s a popular website for adopted kids to search out their family members,” he begins. Everyone at the table watches him. “I signed up under the Texas forum and made a post for my little sister. After a million dead ends, I kind of forgot about it until one day a few weeks later, when Sasha replied to my message. She was mad because she’d messaged me several times over a week but I hadn’t checked my email so I didn’t get them. But when I did reply, and we started talking, it was like an instant connection. She made me send her a picture of myself, but she didn’t send me one right away, saying she had to make sure I wasn’t a murderer first.”

  The Cades chuckle and wait with anticipation for him to continue telling these stories of his life. And he does. He tells us about Sasha’s emails, the long stories she’d tell him about her childhood. The kind things she had to say about her adoptive parents, and how she’d wished he could meet them. Mrs. Cade is so engrossed with his stories that she doesn’t even touch her salad.

  Elijah hasn’t had a chance to check his email yet, but I can’t wait for him to watch Sasha’s final video. He’ll probably want to show it to everyone else, but I want him to watch it by himself the first time.

  Our food is outstandingly delicious — like seriously, seafood this good should be illegal — and after a few moments, we’re talking and laughing and sharing stories about the beautiful girl who brought us all together. And though she isn’t here, there’s an empty chair at our round table that’s set for seven, and I keep staring at it, imagining Sasha’s spirit hanging out there just beyond the realm of what I can see.

  I think she’d be happy, thrilled even, to see this reunion. And it hits me, as I’m dipping a forkful of salmon into garlic butter, that I’ll never get to tell her about this day. She will never again be the girl sitting across from me on my bed, eyes wide, the air smelling like wet nail polish, listening to my stories and telling me exactly what she thinks about them. For the rest of my life, I will only have moments like these. Moments I will treasure, but moments I can’t share with her.

  The pain of her death hits me all over again, and suddenly I am back in the Cades’ library, wa
king up to find my best friend dead. With a deep, shaking breath, I take the cloth napkin from my lap and dab at my eyes.

  Elijah stops talking, looks over and takes my hand. “Are you okay?”

  I shake my head, sniffling. My ears burn with the knowledge that our entire table is watching me. I gaze at that empty chair. “I just miss her.”

  “Oh, honey,” Mrs. Cade says loudly, scooting her chair back. She comes and leans over me, wrapping me in a motherly hug that smells like perfume and baby powder. “We all miss her. But we’re going to be okay.”

  The other adults at the table say encouraging things, but I don’t really hear them all. I breathe in and out, watching that empty chair across from me, wondering why the hell life is so hard. Sasha is the one who died, after all. All I have to do is pick up the pieces and carry on without her. After my unexpected breakdown, Mr. Cade asks Elijah about his interests for the future.

  “Have you looked into colleges?”

  Elijah stares at his fork. “Kind of. I have this dream career that I’m pretty sure is impossible to attain, but Sasha was pretty insistent that I try to get into college. She mailed me all these brochures and stuff.”

  The Cades exchange an impressed look that makes me want to cringe. Is it so hard to think he’s capable of rising through poverty and dreaming big dreams? Sasha believed in him, and I do, too.

  Elijah continues, “Before I worry about college, I need to find a new job as soon as possible. Mr. Reinhart’s been helping me with that.”

  Mr. Reinhart nods. “Economy has gone down the tubes, Walter. I used to have contacts around here, but I can’t find the boy a job anywhere.” He adjusts his glasses, frown lines appearing around his lips. “I told him he doesn’t have to pay me rent or anything, but we simply don’t have the money to help out much with things he may need. College would be a dream, but a job is the first step.”

  Mrs. Cade clears her throat. “Honey, you seem like a smart boy. You should really look into school instead of another job. With a degree, your job opportunities will be much better.”

  She’s using that voice she used to use on Sasha when she refused to pick a college our freshman year. Only, Elijah isn’t a grumpy fourteen-year-old whose rich parents are trying to get a head start. He’s twenty, and grown, and able to make his own decisions.

  “I understand, totally —” Elijah begins, but Mr. Cade cuts him off with a wave of his hand. He and his wife exchange another cryptic look and she nods.

  “Sasha has a college fund. She won’t be using it now.”

  Mrs. Cade continues where her husband left off. “Walter and I have talked about turning it into a scholarship in her memory. I don’t see why you can’t be the only applicant for it.”

  Mrs. Reinhart puts a hand to her heart. Sasha’s parents are watching Elijah, their expressions hopeful.

  Mr. Cade straightens his back. “I know you already have a home with the Reinharts, but there’s a great university near Peyton Colony, and we have plenty of space.”

  Mrs. Cade cuts in, leaning forward and grabbing his arm. “I know you’re too old to be adopted, but we have a spare bedroom and you’re Sasha’s brother. You’re family.”

  Elijah’s mouth hangs open. Even his hand that’s holding mine under the table goes limp. I’m pretty sure Mrs. Reinhart is crying, and Sasha’s dad frowns in this weirdly happy way.

  He’s no longer the tough Texas lawyer; now he’s just a dad. “Will you think it over, Elijah?”

  Elijah turns to look at me. I squeeze his hand. “Say yes, you dork.”

  His eyes sparkle, and he seems to wake up, his hand tightening on mine. “Yes, sir,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “I’d love that. Thank you.”

  “Then it’s settled,” Mrs. Cade says. “Welcome to the family, at last.”

  I raise my glass, nodding to the Reinharts, the Cades and the one Delgado. We may all have different last names, but we’ve chosen to be together. “To family.”

  “To family!”

  As our glasses clink together, I glance over and see a single tear rolling down Elijah’s cheek. His hand squeezes mine so hard my fingers hurt. “Thank you,” he whispers.

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  The final letter will arrive any minute now. Mrs. Cade will probably check the mail the moment it’s delivered, just like she always does. She’ll see the letter addressed to the newest member of the household, Elijah Delgado. Maybe she’ll recognize the handwriting. But she probably won’t.

  Mr. Cade is arranging an internship for Elijah at his law firm, but for now, Elijah is adjusting to his new life, one that now has a cell phone and Sasha’s old computer. He’s been spending all of his time getting to know his new parents and letting Mrs. Cade take him on the occasional shopping spree. In the evenings, he hangs out with me.

  Elijah might be in his new bedroom when Mrs. Cade brings him the letter. Or maybe he’s on the back porch, which is his favorite part of the Cades’ house. He loves that you can see the lake from every angle of their backyard. He loves the sunset dancing on the water and the deer who hang around waiting for food. Most of all, he loves that he finally feels free.

  I am in school as the letter is being delivered. I don’t know exactly when it happens, but I feign attention in class while holding my phone under the desk, waiting for a message. Will he call me the second he gets it? Or will he wait a while?

  Unlike the others, this letter is from me.

  Dear Elijah,

  I am sending you on an adventure. It is part business, part date, but dress like it’s all business. I’m thinking slacks and that black button-up shirt you have. Drive to the address below, and walk into Building A. Tell the person at the front desk your name and that you have a 3:00 p.m. appointment.

  (Don’t be late!)

  After your business adventure, the fun part begins. Meet me at the marina, behind the Starbucks. See you soon.

  Raquel

  I check the time as I stab two green straws into the mocha Frappuccinos I just purchased. It’s almost four, and Dean Marshall told me the meeting would last about half an hour. My phone has been silent all day, and I’m a little nervous that Elijah might be pissed at me. But when I step outside, drinks in hand, I see him leaning against my car in the parking lot, arms crossed over his chest, a carefree smile on his face that sets my mind at ease. The sleeves of his black button-up shirt are pushed up to his elbows, and his pants are crisply ironed, no doubt thanks to Mrs. Cade.

  “Hey.” I feel like the luckiest girl alive.

  He takes a step forward, peeling himself off my car. “I got some mail today.”

  “Oh yeah?”

  He pulls a folded stack of papers from his back pocket, peering at me through his lashes as he opens the pages I’d carefully folded myself the day before. “Step one,” he says, “apply for admission. Step two, complete pre-assessment activity. Step three, complete placement testing.”

  He lowers the papers. “Step four, get a bacterial meningitis vaccination? I have to get a freaking shot?”

  I bite my lip and he continues, glancing back at the paper. “Step five, complete new-student orientation. Step six, register and pay for classes. Step seven, collect class essentials and a campus ID card and parking permit. Step eight.” He pauses, pressing his lips together before looking at me. “Step eight. Go to class.”

  I gnaw on my lip.

  Elijah leans his head back and gazes at the cloudy sky. I’m standing on edge, wondering if my bold move will pay off or land me in hot water. “You made me have a meeting with the dean.”

  I nod meekly. “How did it go?”

  A few terrifying heartbeats later, Elijah’s lips quirk into a grin. “It was … educating. Did Sasha tell you to do this?”

  I shake my head, taking a step closer. “Not exactly. But I know it’s what she wanted for you.
I also know she’d never have given up on you. So I’m not, either.”

  He chuckles softly, staring at the papers in his hand. “I have no idea how to do this.”

  “I’ll help you,” I say, reaching for his other hand. His eyes peer into mine, a mirror image of my best friend’s, but these are all Elijah. “Dean Marshall will point you in the right direction and the Cades will pay for it. You’re not going to fall through the cracks, Elijah.”

  He blinks quickly, then brushes the hair from my eyes. “Thank you.”

  I touch the silver chain around his neck, then peer up at him. A ray of sun breaks through the clouds and warms my face. This is the moment I’ve been waiting for since I woke up in the Cades’ library that fateful morning. I can feel her all by myself, without her help. I know she’s here.

  I smile and press a key with a foam keychain into his palm. “Ready for the fun part of this adventure?”

  Recognition flashes across his face as he holds up the key. “You rented another boat?”

  I shake my head. “I got permission to hang out on Sue’s Paradise. Since Sasha’s not bankrolling our fun adventures anymore, I had to be frugal to set up something romantic.”

  Elijah’s thumb slides across my cheek. “Let’s go.”

  Mr. Cade wrote up boating instructions for us, and Elijah has no problems driving out of the marina and into the middle of the lake. We drop the anchor once we’re in a secluded area away from other boaters, and I unpack the picnic-style dinner I prepared for us. There are sandwiches, chips and some of Mrs. Cade’s homemade cherry pie.

  “You know, Sasha really lucked out that you’re so cute,” I say, poking him playfully in the arm. It’s nearly nine o’clock and we’ve been talking for hours. Making plans for the future. Making plans for us.

  Elijah stands next to me on the balcony that overlooks the back of the boat. “Why’s that?”

  I shrug. “If you were butt ugly, her plan to set us up wouldn’t have worked.” I snap my fingers together. “The whole thing would have fallen apart.”