The Mending

by Susan Lantz Simpson

  He gulped the iced tea one of the women set in front of him. His throat felt as dry as the creek bed at the end of a rainless August. Tim looked around the table at the other men gathered for the meal. Most looked as hot as he felt, but at least a slight breeze brought a small measure of relief. Two of the new members talked animatedly with the fellows around them. Tim smiled to himself. He remembered feeling so different after his baptism—so clean, so new, so adult. His gaze traveled around the table and stalled on Isaac Hostetler.

  Isaac looked anything but happy. In fact, he looked downright sullen. His pasty appearance reminded Timothy of the ashes he shoveled out of the woodstove, all white and gray. Was Isaac sorry he’d made his vow to the church? Did he wish he had bolted, as Becky had done? Maybe Tim should try to talk to him.

  Timothy hoped to catch Malinda’s eye as she bustled about refilling cups. He hoped he’d get the chance to talk to her later—maybe even take a walk with her. When she finally glanced in his direction, he smiled and winked at her. He nearly laughed aloud at the crimson flush that crept up her neck and across her cheeks. She averted her eyes and moved on to refill another cup.

  While he waited for the women to finish eating, Timothy decided he would seek out Isaac. Maybe he could help the younger man. Even though he’d been furious with Isaac for hurting Malinda, things had worked out for the best. Poor Isaac looked like he could use a freind right now.

  Timothy sidled up to Isaac, who stood alone in the shade of a huge, old oak tree. “Big day.”

  “Jah.”

  “You don’t seem particularly happy.”

  Isaac shrugged and turned to walk away.

  Timothy clamped a large hand on Isaac’s shoulder. “What’s troubling you, Isaac? I’m a gut listener.”

  “Why should you care?”

  Isaac sounded like a petulant little bu, but Timothy kept that thought to himself. “I remember my baptism day as one of the happiest days of my life, but you seem troubled. I’d like to help if I can. That’s all.”

  “Ach ! You can’t help. What’s done is done.”

  “Are you afraid you made a mistake by joining the church?”

  “Nee. Jah. I don’t even know.” Isaac rubbed a hand over his clean-shaven jaw.

  “Does your confusion have anything to do with Becky Zook?”

  “Why would you think that?”

  You’re too defensive. Dead giveaway. “Well, you two seemed kind of, um, close. She didn’t get baptized, and you did. I figured that might make a problem for you.”

  Isaac shrugged again and then jerked his head toward the far reaches of the yard, indicating for Timothy to follow him farther away from any listening ears. Isaac didn’t stop until he’d practically reached the woods bordering the Yoders’ property. Timothy thought their trek seemed a little extreme, since everyone else looked preoccupied with eating or visiting, but he’d placate Isaac.

  “Was ist letz?”

  “Everything is wrong!”

  “Do you want to explain?”

  “I-I don’t even understand myself. Why do we do the things we do?” Isaac let out a long, exasperated sigh.

  “That’s hard to say, but we all do things we wonder about later.”

  “I’m so befuddled.”

  “Do you know why Becky changed her mind?”

  Isaac nodded. A tortured expression crossed his face. “I-I guess.”

  Timothy waited, trying very hard not to tap his foot or show any other sign of impatience. He wanted to talk with Malinda, but he had initiated this interaction with Isaac, so must see it through. Besides, he really did want to help Isaac, or at least persuade him to talk to the bishop about whatever was troubling him. He didn’t know if he would be successful with either option, but he needed to at least try.

  “Becky showed me something after our meeting at Bishop Menno’s last night.” Isaac’s voice dropped so low Timothy needed to strain to hear him.

  When Isaac didn’t continue right away, Timothy prodded. “What was it?”

  “Papers.”

  “What kind of papers?”

  “Train schedules and prices.”

  “Was she planning to go on a trip?”

  “She was planning on us going on a trip.”

  “You and Becky? Just the two of you?”

  “Jah.”

  “A trip where? For how long?”

  “To New York. She said she wanted to see the big city and all it had to offer before she settled into a humdrum, boring life. Those are her words, not mine. She said there had to be more to life than cornfields and cows.”

  “Did you want to go along?”

  “We had talked about how much fun it would be to travel someplace and see new things, but . . .”

  “Did you change your mind?”

  “Traveling a bit would be fine, but . . .”

  “How long were you planning to be gone?”

  “That’s just it, Tim. I wanted to go on a trip. Becky didn’t want to kumm back.”

  “She wants to jump the fence?”

  “I’m not sure if she even knows what she wants. I thought maybe she wanted me, but I guess not.”

  Timothy could have told him Becky didn’t seem to be the “settling down” kind. She liked flirting with all the fellows too much. “What happened?”

  “Becky was all excited and wanted to leave as soon as we got an Englisch driver lined up to take us to the train station. I asked her about baptism, and she said we could always do that later if we came back. That’s when I knew for sure and for certain she didn’t want to kumm back. Tim, I never wanted to leave the community forever. I just wanted to see other things.”

  Timothy nodded. Each person had to make his own decision. Many young folks grew restless and wanted to try new things, but, thankfully, most got baptized and stayed in the community. “Did you tell Becky your feelings?”

  “Jah. She wasn’t too happy, and she kept trying to change my mind. She didn’t want us to show up for the service today at all. She kept trying to convince me, but I didn’t want to disappoint my mamm and daed. Maybe I should have waited. Now Becky will go off without me and-and I-I’ve lost her.”

  “Do you think you ever really had her?”

  “I thought we had something special.” Isaac held up a hand as Timothy opened his mouth to speak. “Before you say anything, I know Becky was a bit of a flirt, but things were different with us.”

  Timothy held his tongue before the words “That’s what all the fellows believed” slipped out. “Were you courting?”

  “Sort of.”

  “Sort of?”

  Isaac’s face flushed bright red. “We were going to settle down and court properly after we took a few little trips. That’s what I thought, anyway.”

  “Who was going to chaperone those little trips?”

  “We hadn’t gotten that far with the plans.”

  “It sounds like Becky got a lot farther with them than you did, if she had train schedules and such.”

  “I guess so. She’ll probably leave now, and I’m stuck here. I thought since she showed up at church and walked forward with the rest of us she had decided to join the church after all.”

  “Are you having second thoughts about your commitment?”

  “I-I don’t know.”

  “Maybe you should talk to Bishop Menno. He’s pretty understanding and wise.”

  “I can’t. It’s done now.”

  Isaac’s shoulders slumped, and he had the most hangdog expression Timothy had ever seen. Isaac reminded him of a balloon that had sprung a leak, allowing all the air to seep out. “Where is Becky now?”

  “Who knows? She’s probably trying to get a ride to the train station.”

  “You don’t think she’d go ahead with her plans all alone, do you?”

  Isaac shrugged. “It’s hard to tell. She can be pretty impulsive.”

  That was an understatement if Tim had ever heard one. “She’s probably at home right now. Maybe
if you go there, you can talk some sense into her.”

  “I doubt that, but I’ll think about it. Danki for listening, Tim.” Isaac turned and raced away like a dog fleeing from a rabid fox.

  Timothy shook his head. He prayed Isaac would sort out his feelings. Maybe Tim could put a bug in one of the ministers’ ears to have a chat with Isaac. One of them or the bishop would most likely head over to the Zook place soon, if they weren’t already there.

  Timothy strode off in the direction of the tables. The conversation with Isaac had eaten up more time than he had planned. Surely Malinda would be finished her meal by now. He hoped her family hadn’t already started home.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Malinda continued to float on air as she tackled the mountain of laundry Monday morning, still buoyed by the warm, wunderbaar memories of her baptism. She hoisted the laundry basket full of wet clothes and headed for the clothesline. She’d felt a few twinges of disappointment that she’d been unable to speak with Timothy after the service, but maybe that was for the best. She really needed to force herself to end any serious relationship with him before either of them could get their hearts broken. She hoped she wasn’t too late. It would not be easy to pretend she desired nothing more than a casual relationship with Tim. He’d already become so much more than a freind.

  Putting distance between them would be best for both of them, Malinda reminded herself. She needed to end things before she had another flare-up that sent Timothy fleeing in the opposite direction. He had some inkling about her disease from hanging around with Sam, but he’d never personally experienced the extent of her illness. It was not a pretty sight. What if she had a severe flare-up like she’d had in Ohio and ended up in the hospital? Tim would be horrified to see that or to learn how expensive her treatment could be.

  Malinda could be content to live with her mamm and daed and to help care for her bruders. Maybe she wouldn’t be completely happy, but she would be content. She loved her family. Aden was still young enough that she’d have a few more years to play games with him and help him with schoolwork. What would happen to her, though, when her bruders married, her parents moved into the dawdi house, and Sam and his wife took over the farm? What would become of her then?

  She sighed. No use in thinking of those things yet. She should just enjoy this beautiful, sunny, late summer day with the laundry flapping gently on the line. Malinda snatched up the empty basket. One more load of laundry to wash and hang out this morning. Wheels crunching on the gravel captured her attention. She raised one hand to shield her eyes from the bright morning sun. Who was visiting so early in the morning?

  Malinda watched as the horse and buggy raced up the driveway, kicking up a cloud of dust. Whoever it was either was in a terrible hurry or had some sort of news to share. Malinda reached the front yard just as a female voice hollered, “Whoa!” A moment later, Becky Zook hopped from the buggy. Loose tendrils of pale blonde hair flew about her head. She must have been driving furiously to stir up enough of a breeze to loosen her hair from its pins. She swatted at the hair to get it out of her eyes, but she didn’t even attempt to poke the strands back under her kapp.

  “Becky, was ist letz?” Malinda’s heart thumped a wild rhythm. Had something happened to one of Becky’s parents? The Stauffers weren’t the Zooks’ nearest neighbors. Why would Becky drive all the way here if they needed help?

  “As if you don’t know what’s wrong!”

  “What are you talking about? How would I know why you zoomed up my driveway?”

  “Don’t you look all innocent!”

  “Kumm sit on the porch, Becky, and explain what you’re talking about.”

  “I’m not going to sit on the porch so all your eavesdropping family can hear me through the open windows. Walk a ways with me.”

  Malinda dropped the laundry basket at her feet and approached Becky’s horse. “Do you want me to tie him for you?”

  “Just leave him alone! I don’t plan to be here that long.”

  Malinda and Becky had, of course, known each other forever, but they had never been much more than acquaintances. Lately, they had practically avoided each other, except at the baptismal classes.

  “How could you turn him against me?”

  “Turn who against you?”

  “Isaac. Who else?”

  “Becky, I’ve barely spoken to Isaac in weeks. You should know that. I thought he spent every spare moment with you.”

  “Who else could persuade him to abandon our plans?”

  “What plans? I assumed you both planned to join the church, since you attended the classes.”

  “That was Isaac’s idea. I figured he’d change his mind after the first two or three classes and stick with our plan to get out of here.”

  “You were going to jump the fence?”

  “We were going to travel.”

  “Then why did you bother going to the classes at all?”

  “Isaac felt pressured to go. I wonder who could have pressured him.” The sarcasm dripped from Becky’s voice.

  “It certainly wasn’t me. I don’t have any influence over Isaac. Besides, a person shouldn’t be coerced into joining the church. He should want to join.”

  “Exactly.”

  “I’m sure Isaac’s parents hoped he’d join, but I doubt they pressured him.”

  “Well, now he’s gone and joined. He’ll be under the ban if he goes off to travel with me.”

  “Were you going to get married?”

  “Pshaw! We just wanted to see the world a bit before settling down. Or maybe we’d find someplace we liked better than Maryland. Now he can’t go with me.” Becky stomped a foot like a pouty, spoiled boppli.

  Malinda gasped. “You were going to go off together, just the two of you?”

  Becky burst out laughing. “If only you could see your face, Malinda. You look positively horrified.” With one hand, Becky wiped the moisture from her green eyes.

  Malinda snapped her mouth shut when she became aware it was still hanging agape. “It doesn’t seem a laughing matter to me. What would your mamm and daed say? What would the bishop say?”

  “We had planned to recruit someone to be a chaperone, silly. I haven’t strayed that far away.”

  “Have you strayed, Becky? You could always talk to Bishop Menno. You can always repent and be baptized. You did attend classes.”

  “I don’t have anything to repent for . . . yet.”

  Except being devious, Malinda almost blurted out. “You made it sound like you had when you said you hadn’t strayed that much.”

  “Well, you know, just the normal petty sins.”

  “A sin is a sin.”

  “Aren’t you the pious one?”

  “I just mean we all sin and all need to repent.”

  “Surely not you!” Becky clapped a hand over her mouth and gasped in mock horror. “Not perfect little Malinda Stauffer!”

  “I am not perfect. I’m just trying to do the best I can.” Malinda took a deep breath to calm down. She would not let Becky get under her skin. “What will you do now, Becky?”

  “Don’t you worry yourself about it.”

  “You could always join the next baptismal class if Bishop Menno won’t consent to your baptism now.”

  “I’m not ready yet. I couldn’t go through with it during the service with everyone’s eyes boring holes into my back, so it’s not likely I’ll do it now.”

  Malinda reached out tentatively to touch the bigger girl’s arm. “Think about it, Becky. I’ll pr—”

  “Don’t you dare say you’ll pray for me. I don’t need your prayers. I’m still going to see New York and any place in between here and there I feel like seeing.”

  “Alone? That’s not very safe. Aren’t you afraid to go alone? You could get lost, or worse.”

  Becky laughed, a harsh sound rather than a pleasant one. “I’m sure I’ll find someone to go with me.” With that, Becky flounced off toward her buggy without so much as a backwar
d glance at Malinda, who stared after her.

  When the gray buggy had disappeared from sight, Malinda shook her head in an effort to clear her troubled mind. What in the world was that all about? Why would Becky think she had any influence over Isaac? Surely Becky knew Malinda and Isaac only spoke to each other to exchange pleasantries these days. Becky would have had much more influence over Isaac, for sure and for certain. If Becky couldn’t convince Isaac to forsake his baptismal plans, then surely it must be Gott’s will for him to join the church.

  Malinda sighed and reached down to retrieve the straw laundry basket. She absently plucked at the edges as she pondered what she should do. Would Becky really go off on her own? Of course, she’d have to get an Englisch driver to transport her all the way to the train station, but then she’d be on her own. Should Malinda tell someone about Becky’s plans? Who? Becky’s parents or one of the ministers or Bishop Menno?

  “Are you going to bring that basket inside?” Saloma called out the open kitchen window.

  “Be right there, Mamm.” Malinda clomped up the back steps. The screen door slipped from her fingers and slammed shut behind her. “Oops!” she called. “It got away from me.” She started for the laundry room, but Saloma’s words stopped her in her tracks.

  “Was that Becky Zook out there talking to you?”

  “Jah.” Malinda scooted closer to the laundry room. “I’ll get that last load done.”

  “What did she want?” Saloma dried her hands on a blue-and-white-checked dish towel. “That girl sure put her parents in a bad way. They must be so disappointed, not to mention embarrassed.”

  “I-I think Becky is confused. Maybe she needs a little time to sort out her feelings.”

  “Hmpf! She should have done that before she knelt in front of the whole church on Sunday.”