Dead in the Water

by Chrystal Vaughan

  “What if…” he started, slow, like he was working it out in his head or worried what I’d say.

  “Go on…”

  “What if I was here for one, and I asked questions, just to see what would happen? Maybe it will answer me if I ask it what it wants.”

  “The last time you saw me have one, you were scared of me. I don’t think I could stand it if you were afraid of me or didn’t love me anymore, Jess.”

  “I was scared Eva, but not of you, for you.”

  This led to holding, hugging, and kissing, a little light petting maybe. Oh, god, I can feel myself blushing writing this. But it’s true; things are starting to heat up between us.

  Finally, I pushed him off me and sat up. His idea has merit. I told him we could try it if he’s here for another one. He asked if we can “bring it on” and it took me a sec to get my head out of the gutter and figure out what he meant. Go Eva! A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste, they say.

  “No, I’ve never found a way to make one happen. But maybe you should have a list of questions to ask if and when it happens when you’re here.”

  He agreed and told me I was a genius. HA! I love him. He’s super, and mine, mine, mine. He typed up a list on my laptop and says I’m not supposed to see it in case that messes up our experiment. So I’m not looking at the Word doc on my desktop labeled, “Questions from Beyond,” for science.

  Jesse

  He'd found the necklace in a jewelry shop downtown. The shopkeeper, a nice old lady with silver hair and a gentle smile, had told him that the piece belonged to a young woman whose husband had gone away to the war long ago and never returned. He felt sad for that lady who had lost her necklace and her husband, and knew that Eva would be as taken in by the story as he was.

  He was so surprised by Eva's gift he didn't know what to say at first. He knew she loved cruising the twisty Redwood Highway and the 101 with him, the Jeep hugging the curves in the road and the radio blasting. They had similar taste in music and never argued about the song choice, which was a nice surprise when he'd discovered it. The new sound system she'd had installed in his Jeep meant more than her wish to please him. To Jesse, it showed that she planned to stick around for a while and listen to the music they loved together. And that was the best part of the present in his opinion.

  He'd enjoyed giving her the necklace and explaining the story behind it as he slipped it on, clasping the small chain around her slender neck while she held her fabulous dark hair out of the way. He planted a kiss on her exposed skin, watching with pleasure as she got goosebumps and shivered slightly.

  He felt pretty lousy when, a few days after Christmas, he showed up at her house and found her in bed, lethargic and depressed. There had been another episode, and he missed it. Not only that but he'd almost forgotten about her spirit writing with the excitement of the Winter Formal and holidays. She hadn't had one for a while and he was kinda hoping they were gone, but in the back of his mind he knew better.

  She claimed she wasn't afraid, but he knew she was. Hell, he was afraid but he was more determined than ever to get to the bottom of it and try to make it stop. He flipped through the new notebook while Eva slid over to the computer so he could stretch out on the bed, but with every page he flipped through, Jesse's frustration grew until he couldn't contain it any more.

  "FUCK!"

  Eva turned. "What?"

  Jesse knew he'd already covered this with her but he couldn't help it. He wanted her to ask them what they wanted. Now was as good a time as any to tell her his idea about him asking the next spirit that used her body to communicate what the hell it wanted. She didn't respond as badly as he'd thought she would and eventually, after some serious making out, she gave him the green light to make a list of questions to ask it. Jesse was determined to get some answers and protect the girl he loved.

  Eva

  December 31, 2013

  I’m going to Jesse’s tonight to celebrate New Year’s; my parents are going, too, to hang out with the Williams'. Jess and I were going to go hang out with Eric and Beth at her house for a New Year’s Eve party. Jesse called it a New Year’s Eva party. He’s such a loveable dork. We decided against the party, cuz our parents would let us have champagne as long as we’re at home and not driving. That sounded pretty good to us so we’re gonna watch a movie upstairs and give the old fogey’s the downstairs to party their butts off. Haha. I bet we had more fun than they did, making out all night. Wink wink.

  * * * *

  Oh, god, I forgot to write this down. So humiliating. My mom asked me if Jesse and me were using protection. That’s how she worded it: using protection. UGH! Nothing like the “sex talk” to make you feel awkward and creeped out by your parents. I’m glad it was my mom and not my dad though. I can’t imagine that conversation. I told my mom, not that it’s her business, that Jess and me aren’t doing “it” yet.

  She was all cool and stuff and she said, “Well Eva, I was young once, too, as evidenced by your existence, and while you are a delight and a joy, I want you to experience more out of life before becoming a mother. So I’ll tell you what: I’ll prepay for a doctor’s visit and you just go in whenever you feel like you need to and that will be all I have to say about the matter, okay?”

  Now that I think about it, my mom is super cool, kind of a hippie in a way, but really a smart lady. I’m not ready but it’s nice to know she’s got my back.

  January 1, 2014

  It happened last night. I didn’t have my laptop, it was in my room, so Jesse improvised. He remembered most of the pretyped questions. He’s a genius like that, remembers everything. It’s kind of exciting because this is the first time I’ve ever had anything like this happen, although it really freaked Jesse out. When I came back to myself, he was shaking and holding me really tight; I could hardly breathe. I’m like, “Ease up baby, I’m ok.”

  “Oh my god Eva, that was amazing and horrible at the same time!”

  “Really? What happened?”

  “I’ll show you in a minute, just let me sit here a sec. I’m kinda spooked.”

  So we sat there and I held him for a change until he felt better. Then he said he’d go through it with me and I said well let’s do it on my laptop, so we walked to my house. It was dark, and we could hear the sounds of the waves crashing on shore. Jesse held my hand really tightly and I didn’t complain. By then I was pretty spooked, too.

  Here is what happened while I was away from my body. I put in Jesse’s questions and then scanned in the answers.

  Who are you?

  Why are you here?

  What do you want?

  How did you die?

  Where are you now?

  How can Eva help you?

  That’s as far as we got before the really frightening thing happened, Jesse said. He told me that my eyes were rolled up in my head so only white parts showed and my eyelids flickered really quickly the whole time. Then I threw down the pen after I wrote “stop” and flung my notebook behind me on the bed. I kinda hunched over and just sat there motionless for a really long time. He got worried so he reached over and touched my shoulder, and I flung myself on him really fast, catlike, and he fell back on the bed with me riding on top of him and my eyes still all fluttery and white and I go, “Jeeeessssseeee Willlliaaaaammmms” in a whispery, not-Eva voice and fell on him.

  He said it was super freaking cold in his room and my body was frozen, rigid, against him, and the light bulb in his room suddenly just went out. He told me later that he was honestly considering pushing me off him and getting help. I can’t blame him. That’s never happened before, but I’ve almost always been alone when I spirit write, except for when my parents have seen and they never said anything about something like this happening. But I think maybe it’s time I had a talk with them.

  Luckily, the light from his TV was enough for him to see so he wasn’t completely in the dark with his possessed girlfriend. God, am I doing the right thing by involving Jesse in thi
s? What if he gets hurt somehow? I’ll never forgive myself.

  Jesse said he could tell immediately that it was over as soon as the light bulb went out because everything warmed up and I sagged against him, and my body started to warm up too. He was holding me super tight, like I said, when I came back.

  We sat quietly on my bed for a while after he told me all this and we had scanned the notebook pages into my journal. I finally had to break the silence.

  “Are you going to break up with me?”

  “God no, Eva. I’m just so worried for you. This thing didn’t really tell us much.”

  I was never happier to hear him say no to me.

  “Sure it did, babe. We have a name. I think it’s been trying to tell me its name for a while. There’s sometimes that funny little mark in the lower corner; now that I think about it, I guess that’s an “A”, right?”

  “I think you’re right, now that you say it. As weird and terrifying as that was, I’m kind of glad it happened. Now maybe we can get to the bottom of this and make it go away.”

  That made me feel sad. Didn’t he understand that it was never going to go away? This is part of who I am.

  I felt his strong fingers under my chin as he lifted my face to his. “I meant this particular ghostie, sweetheart. I love and accept you in all your forms, even the creepy scary ones.”

  “Gee thanks! What a resounding endorsement of love from the man I plan to marry!”

  Oh. Hell. Why, Eva, why, why, why? What’s worse is, he said nothing. A smile curved his perfect lips and that was all. I guess I’m kind of glad he let it drop. After all, we’re just kids. It’s a fantasy I have, really, that he’ll wait for me, we’ll go to college together, and live happily ever after, only in fairy tales, Eva, not nightmares.

  Jesse

  New Year's Eve was amazing. They had planned to go to Eric and Beth's party, but their parents offered them not only some champagne but alone time too. Jesse knew that both sets of parents worried about what they might be doing but trusted them to behave. It was getting more and more difficult to live up to that trust as the days went by, and New Year's Eve was no exception. The taste of champagne on Eva's lips fueled the fire and he'd finally had to stop them with a movie and some pillows between them. Eva pouted at him in the most adorable manner but he was not dissuaded. If he touched her again, he would no longer be responsible for his actions so he stayed on his side of the pillows.

  The next day it happened and he was ready, or so he thought. They were at his house watching TV in his room, so the questions they'd typed on the laptop were at her house, but he remembered most of them. Not that it was easy to question her when she was possessed by something else. It freaked him out to see her hand, her delicate hand that he held tenderly when they walked together, jerking around on the paper and scratching out shapes and words in an unfamiliar writing.

  As he asked the questions, and the thing using Eva's body answered, he could feel the sweat breaking out on his body. As before, all the sound in the world bled from existence and the polar temperature of the room froze the sweat pouring from him before he could wipe it away.

  As soon as the last question was finished, Eva's eyes rolled back into her head and the whites gleamed in her face, almost glowing in the dim light of his room. She flung the paper and pen away like before, but this time she launched herself at him and whispered, "Jeeeesssseeee Wiiiiillllliaaaaammmmsss." Her fingers gripped his shirt tightly and she pulled him closer and closer, the whites of her eyes jiggling in her head. The light bulb in his room burst, and he almost pushed her off of him to run and get someone but then it was over.

  Once the thing was gone, Jesse gathered Eva in his arms and rocked her back and forth until she came back to him.

  "Ease up baby, I'm ok."

  Jesse was glad he'd handled himself better than the last time, but he was still pretty freaked. Finally, he was able to tell her what had happened and they looked over the spirit writing session's answers together. She was worried, as usual, that he was going to break up with her but he dismissed that. There was no way he was leaving.

  "It says its name is 'Alex'," Eva pointed out.

  "I'm glad this happened. Now we can make it go away!"

  She looked downcast at that. He knew why, and he did his best to reassure her, his message serious but delivered with some teasing. Then she said, "What a resounding endorsement of love from the man I plan to marry!"

  Marry! She said marry. He heard it. He felt his chest swell with pride and love. This girl made him feel like he was invincible, and he was more confident than ever that they were going to get to the bottom of this spirit-writing thing and conquer it together. He was glad she had said that she wanted to marry him, because he had no idea how to bring up the subject himself. He knew he wanted to marry her, when they were both done with school and college, of course. He decided to go ring shopping soon. Maybe his mom could help him out. They were too young now, but he wanted to claim her as his own as soon as possible.

  Eva

  January 3, 2014

  Jesse hasn’t said anything else about my fanciful schoolgirl stupidity, which is good. We have moved past that and are trying to decode the answers to those questions. Who is Alex? Where is he from? How did he drown? Is his body still in the water somewhere? Is that what “dead in the water” means? We typed these questions up and sent a copy to Jesse’s house. He’s printed them and they are here on my computer as well. We’re ready for Alex to come back whenever he’s ready to talk to us again.

  January 7, 2014

  I have had enough of this waiting around crap; still nothing from our resident ghostie. Jess thinks I need to talk to my parents. I said, "Negatory Batman" and he just rolled his eyes at me and kissed me. I get so distracted by those kisses! Next thing I know, I have agreed to talk to the 'rents about my freaky past. And my pushy boyfriend who was READING OVER MY SHOULDER was going to COME WITH ME instead of making me do it by myself!

  He really liked the comment about kissing though. So we did that for a while until it got too intense. I like that when I sit up and smack him on the leg or arm like a real smooth person would do. He just grinned and tried to mess up my hair. The big jerk. I really think he's the guy for me. I always have, I guess. I'm in horrible danger of losing my morbid, mopey, goth-y reputation and becoming all fan girl over Jesse Freaking Amazing Greek God Williams. Even bitchy McGhee the PE Geek, and Mr. Clausen the English Doom Guy can't bring me down. Though they are trying really hard. McGhee makes us run laps until our legs feel like jello because it's too cold to "play outside" she said. We're freaking teenagers. We don't play outside anyway. And Clausen was actually being really cool. He let us pick our own books to do reports on to "get back in the swing of things" after the Christmas holiday. He must have noticed things were looking up for me cuz Jesse dropped me off at Yearbook today with a smooch, and Clausen said, "Nice catch, Dunbar." I was pretty shocked but you know that Clausen guy is ok.

  January 8, 2014

  We talked to my parents today. Let me just say right here for the record that if Jessie decides never to speak to me again I will completely understand. I don't want to speak to me ever again either. They told us about some of the other creepy things that have happened since I was a baby. Like one time, there was a spirit or whatever they are that kept writing on the frost on my window from the OUTSIDE. How the eff did it do that? That wasn't the same as spirit writing because I wasn't doing that. That's never happened where I can remember, unless it did happen and then melted before I was "awake" or able to see it.

  The parental units were really shaken up talking about the whole thing, but I think they were glad to finally get it aired out. Though I feel way worse about myself, unfortunately. They had some great ideas, though. They suggested asking more questions and were glad Jesse’s there for me. Dad got all teary-eyed thinking about the perfect match his little girl has made. Eva is exasperated. Yes I just referred to myself in the third person. Maybe that
would help me to feel as though all this stuff is happening to someone else, some other poor messed up girl.

  January 9, 2014

  It happened again today. This time we were ready. Here is the "transcript" of what Jesse and the spirit using me to write talked about.

  What is your last name?

  How did you die?

  How old were you when you died?

  Did you live here in Brookings or somewhere else?

  What do you want?

  How can Eva help you?

  How can Jesse help you?

  Where are you now?

  Jesse handled this time a lot better than last time. When I came back to myself he was holding me and rocking a little bit, but he wasn't all freaked out and pale. We spent some time talking about the answers to our questions. We couldn't figure out what the message was to how Jesse can help and where he was from. It looks like it says "move" but that doesn't really answer the question. I guess, unless he moved to somewhere, or from somewhere? And what does it mean "dead in the water"? Is his body somewhere in water? Maybe he wants us to find his body. We couldn't come up with too many answers, but we both agree that the name, Alex Carmichael, rings a bell dimly in the back of our minds.

  I begged Jesse to let it go; usually these things go away, but he insists that if we figure out what Alex Carmichael wants us to do that he'll go away faster. I'm not pushing too hard, really, since I'm getting to spend so much time with him. I just wish our time together wasn't focused so much on my weirdness.