Missing Lily

by Annette K. Larsen

  And when that happens, am I supposed to feel relief? Somehow I don’t think that’s the way it will be.

  Yours,

  Lylin

  ***

  “I really do think that I would be just fine walking down the stairs myself.”

  Rhys grinned as he carried me down to the parlor, cradled in his arms. “And pass up the opportunity to take care of you the way I wanted to when we first met?” He kissed my upturned face. “Never.”

  “What was wrong with the way you took care of me last time? I thought you did a remarkable job.”

  “But I had to act entirely proper the whole time.”

  “You still have to act properly, my dear Lord Fallon.”

  “To an extent.”

  “Rhys Fallon, there are guards posted all throughout this house. My father approves of you entirely as of this moment; don’t you dare do anything to change his mind.”

  He set me down on a chair. “I would never, Princess,” he said just before he brushed his lips against my neck.

  I smacked his arm with the back of my hand. “Rhys,” I chastised while hiding a smile.

  He wiped the grin off his face and straightened into his formal bearing. “Your Highness, what might I do to make you more comfortable? Simply say what you require and it shall be done with the utmost haste.”

  I tried to smother my laughter, but was unsuccessful. I was happy to be out of the confines of my room, to sit in the drawing room where Rhys had once played nursemaid, taking care of my injured head.

  “Would you like me to read to you?” Rhys asked.

  His question made me pause. Reading did not sound at all appealing. It was too sedate. I wanted a bit of excitement now that I’d been released from my chamber. I cast my eyes about the room, looking for ideas. “Will you teach me to play chess?” I asked, spying an elaborate, decorative set in the corner.

  “You’ve never played?”

  I shook my head. “None of my sisters were interested. There didn’t seem much point in learning when I wouldn’t have a partner.”

  “Well then.” He retrieved the table and brought it to stand in front of me. “We must begin your instruction right away. We haven’t a moment to lose.”

  I admired the light in his eyes as he arranged the board to his satisfaction.

  “This set was one of my father’s prized possessions. Silly, since it’s not worth very much, but he loved a good game.”

  He explained the rules and I enjoyed the way he leaned over, forgetting his rigid posture, and the way he kept pushing his hair out of his eyes without realizing he did it. The afternoon was one of the loveliest I had spent in his company, and it made me long for the day we might put the trouble with Tobias behind us and start a life of our own.

  Chapter 24

  AFTER THREE WEEKS, Rhys finally agreed to let me shoot. I had been itching to use a bow and arrow, to release all the frustration and helplessness building up inside me.

  “Are you certain you’re up for this?” Rhys asked once again as we walked across the lawn.

  “You heard the doctor. He said it would be good for me.”

  “He said it would be good for you to move more. I think archery might be a bit much.” The worry creasing his brow made me smile.

  “I’m fine, Rhys.” I tried to sound convincing, but still caught him glancing at my side, where I had been cut. “Really, I am.”

  He gave a decisive nod. “Well then, let’s see what you can do. I’ve been anxious to shoot with you ever since you cheated during our little competition.”

  “Is it cheating if you do worse on purpose?”

  “Yes.”

  I suppressed a smile. “So is this a rematch?”

  “No, we’re on the same team today.”

  “Like we should have been then?” The thought surprised me as it left my mouth, giving me pause. “Have you ever wondered how things would have been different if you hadn’t had the arrangement with my parents?”

  “Yes.”

  My eyebrows up up. “You have?”

  “I’ve given it a great deal of thought,” he admitted as he tested the tension on his bow.

  “And?”

  “There are too many unknowns. My life could have gone in fifty different directions. I could have been married, and even if I wasn’t and you had still stumbled into my stables, what reason would I have had to show up at the palace? I would have never seen you again after you left.”

  “I would have sought you out.”

  “You think so?”

  “Yes.”

  He smiled. “I would like to think that we would have found each other, but I wouldn’t want to risk it. Now,” he handed me an armguard. “Show me what you can do.”

  I strapped on the guard and took my stance. I raised my left arm, trying to pull back with my right in one fluid stroke—and got stuck half way. My muscles wouldn’t obey my order to pull back all the way, and I had to release my draw altogether. I let out a little sigh of frustration.

  “Don’t push too hard, Lylin. The last thing you want is to re-injure yourself.”

  “It’s not that. My injury feels well healed, it’s just the muscles refusing to work after so much disuse.” I fisted my hand and rolled my shoulder, trying to stimulate the muscles.

  “Forget, for the moment, trying to shoot an arrow.” He took the arrow from me. “Just practice drawing. Draw as far as you can and then ease off. Don’t try to hold it and don’t try to draw all the way.”

  I did as he instructed, surprised by how sore I was by the time we returned inside, but happy that I had been able to achieve a full draw.

  Over the next few days, I practiced often, not minding the soreness because I was so relieved to be active again. I even convinced Rhys to let me take Willow for a ride each day, though he insisted we keep it at a sedate walk.

  We were sitting at breakfast and I was imagining the best way to cajole him into letting me increase the horse’s pace to a trot during our ride. We only had a few hours before my parents arrived to take me home, and I wanted to make the most of our time together. I opened my mouth to broach the subject when a guard entered, bowing as he apologized for the interruption. He leaned down and murmured something to Rhys, who immediately burst to his feet.

  “When?”

  “Late last night.”

  “Where?” he asked, heading for the door.

  “The inn at Farria.”

  “Rhys?” I stood, calling to him before he disappeared.

  He stopped to look at me for a moment before returning to me. The way he gripped my hands caused a feeling of dread to settle in my stomach.

  “Tobias?”

  He nodded. “I have to find him.”

  “My father will be here in a matter of hours. Can’t you wait for him?”

  He shook his head. “He could be gone in a matter of hours, and it’s my responsibility.”

  “No, it’s not.”

  He studied my face for several moments before speaking. “Whether it is my responsibility or not, I have to help.”

  “Rhys, don’t—”

  “Please? You know I have to do this.” He kissed me, squeezed my hands and then left without looking back.

  “Rhys.” My pathetic plea fell flat in the empty room. I could only hope that he wanted resolution more than he wanted revenge.

  As the echo of the door slamming died down, I tried to remember the conversation we had had on the subject.

  “When Tobias is found, are you still going to go after him?”

  We were playing chess. Rhys claimed I was doing well, but I knew that I was no match for his strategic mind.

  He took a deep breath and blew it out before looking at me. “I know that you don’t want me to, and I understand why. But I truly feel this is something I have to do.”

  “Is revenge worth risking your life?”

  He gave me a sad smile and shook his head. “It’s not revenge. Maybe it was before, but that’s not m
y reason now. I’m not going to provoke him. I’m not going to attack him. It was you that made me realize that I could never live with myself if his blood were on my hands.”

  “Then why go after him? Why take that risk?”

  “I know my brother. And when this ends—if it ends—he will not come peacefully. If he is cornered, he will be vicious. He will hurt as many people as possible.”

  His explanation increased my panic. “Then why would you put yourself in that position? I don’t understand, Rhys.”

  “I want to prevent him from attacking. If it’s just me, then he won’t feel cornered—”

  “So you want to confront him by yourself?” I stood, scattering chess pieces over the floor. “Rhys!”

  “I just want to speak with him. I want to give him the chance to come without a fight. Perhaps I’m a fool for thinking that anything I could say would make a difference. I could very well make it worse. But I have to try.”

  I sat, defeated. “You don’t.”

  “I do, Lylin. Please try to understand.”

  I shook my head, wanting to declare that I didn’t understand. But I did. I understood his loyalty to his brother. But I still feared it.

  I opened my eyes after several minutes of worry. A steward finally asked if I was finished with my meal, and I allowed him to clear my dishes. I had no wish to eat anymore, so I removed myself to the drawing room and tried to sit still. Instead I found myself at the window, in front of the fireplace, sitting, standing, pacing as the minutes ticked by. It was a relief to hear the telltale sounds of a carriage.

  “Where is Lord Fallon?” My father’s voice came from the entry and I went to meet him.

  “Your Majesty, Lord Fallon has gone after his brother,” someone answered.

  “When did he leave?”

  “As soon as he found out. More than two hours past.”

  I reached the doorway and watched the exchange between my father and the guard who had told Rhys of Tobias’s whereabouts. My mother and Lorraina stood silently behind him, listening.

  “He has probably already reached Farria. Did he take anyone with him?”

  “No, Sire. He insisted on going alone.”

  My father let out a frustrated sigh. “Foolish man,” he muttered, then turned to my mother. “My dear, I will entrust you and Lorraina to Lylin and the good people here. I must try to catch up with Lord Fallon.”

  “Be safe.”

  My father kissed her hand and stalked out, signaling his knights to follow.

  When the sound of hooves had faded and the dust still hung in the air, I was left standing on the steps with my mother and sister.

  “Shouldn’t we return home?”

  Lorraina’s question made me tense. I couldn’t go home. The waiting and worrying was bad enough. Trying to keep my emotions in check while keeping up appearances for the sake of everyone who would be watching at the palace was something I was unwilling to face. If my mother chose to return, she would have to do so without me.

  My mother sighed, gazing around at the trees and land that left us isolated. “I think it would be wise to handle this as a family matter. There’s no reason to return home and alert everyone to the situation.”

  “We’ve managed to keep it a secret?” I asked in surprise.

  “Some of it.”

  “What is common knowledge?”

  My mother turned to enter the manor and we followed.

  “It’s common knowledge that you were attacked and wounded here on Fallon property and that you had to recover here. The identity of the attacker is not common knowledge. Mr. Fallon’s previous dealings with our family are not well known either.”

  “Hm. I always thought it would be near impossible to keep any part of our lives private.” How strange to be wrong about that.

  We sat in the parlor and for the first time I really looked at Lorraina. She looked awful—sad, distressed and nervous. She didn’t sit, just stood in the middle of the room, her gaze fixed on me, her hands fidgeting.

  “Lorraina, whatever is the matter?” I asked in alarm.

  Her eyes widened. “How can you be so calm?” Her voice was ragged.

  My brow furrowed, confused and concerned.

  She finally sat. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

  I was at a loss, wondering what she might have done to provoke such a vulnerable apology.

  “If I had known what Tobias was capable—”

  “Tobias? You’re apologizing for him?”

  “Not for him. I’m not, I’m—I’m apologizing about him. I just—I didn’t know. I didn’t—”

  “Nobody knew, Raina. This is not something you need to apologize for.”

  She nodded her head, staring at her lap as she let out a breath.

  I put my hand over hers where it sat clenched in her lap. “I’m sorry you’ve been worried about this. And I’m sorry for the pain he’s caused you.”

  She gave a derisive laugh. “He and I were always good at hurting each other.” She attempted a smile but it fell into a grimace. “And yet we still understood each other. What does that say about me?”

  I had no idea how to answer that, but she didn't seem to expect an answer. She appeared small, sitting there with her shoulders slumped and her hands crumpling the fabric of her gown. Her hair was disheveled and her face lacked its usual luster.

  I shook myself to action. “You both must be tired. Would you like to rest? Or eat?”

  Lorraina looked up with a strained smile. “Playing lady of the manor already?” She usually said such things with a clear intent to mock, but his time it was only a gentle teasing. I smiled, not only at the thought of being lady of the manor, but at the flicker of sisterly affection.

  I lifted a shoulder. “I have to do something to entertain myself while the men are off doing battle.”

  “Do you really think it will be a battle?”

  I had asked myself the same question many times. “You know Tobias best. What do you think?”

  She took a deep breath, but instead of answering, she just shook her head, her eyes worried.

  “That’s what I was afraid of.”

  She shrugged. “I hope I’m wrong.”

  What had Rhys gotten himself into?

  “So do I.”

  Chapter 25

  MY MOTHER WAS off speaking with Rosamond, probably trying to organize some sort of meal for the sole purpose of distracting herself. Lorraina and I sat in the drawing room, the air thick with awkward tension and strained silence. I cast about for any words that might ease our discomfort.

  Lorraina spoke first, surprising me with her inquiry. “Does Lord Fallon have any archery equipment?”

  “Of course.”

  “Maybe you could help me with my aim. And my draw. And everything else.”

  A small laugh made its way past my lips as I saw the pathetic look on her face. I readily agreed, and we headed out behind the stables, where I tried my best to help Lorraina improve her skills with a bow. And she did—marginally. She and I were both on the brink of quitting when the slow plod of a horse reached my ears. I turned toward the trees and found Joe walking doggedly toward the stables, his head bent, his breathing labored. He held no rider.

  “No,” I breathed, the bow slipping from my hand as I stumbled over my skirts. I reached for him and it wasn’t until I touched his neck that he stopped walking. Then he rested his nose in my palm and went no further.

  I stroked his head with nervous movements, and over the sound of his breathing I heard myself whispering, “No, no, no, no...”

  “Lylin, what is it?” Lorraina asked as she carefully approached.

  “This is Rhys’s horse. He should be with Rhys.” My eyes swept over the horse’s features, searching for answers as my thoughts tumbled in panic. “Why aren’t you with Rhys?” I whispered in his ear.

  “Lylin.”

  Lorraina’s tone caught my attention. She was looking past me, pointing. “There’s something stuck under
the saddle.”

  I turned to find a piece of parchment shoved under Joe’s saddle. I carefully pulled it out, opening it with shaking hands. Lorraina read over my shoulder.

  My brother is here with me. He is unharmed and will remain so if Princess Lorraina will come and do me the honor of speaking with me. A conversation is all I ask and when it is concluded, I will give myself up, willingly. If I am not allowed the opportunity to speak with Lorraina, I will fight to the bitter end. The choice is yours.

  I can be found at the old fortress near Sorel.

  Tobias Fallon

  “We must show the guards, and mother.” Lorraina said, turning toward the manor.

  I grabbed her arm. “Wait.”

  Worry creased her brow. “What?”

  Rhys’s words about Tobias being vicious when cornered marched through my head. “He says he will comply if you only talk to him. Do you think that’s true?”

  She took a breath. “Yes.”

  “You don’t think it could be a trap?”

  “I’m not afraid of him hurting me, if that’s what you’re asking.”

  I tried to sort through my thoughts, to think rationally. “If we tell the guards, and they go after them, what happens to Tobias? What happens to Rhys?”

  “I—” She shook her head in frustration. “I don’t know.”

  “We could go. Just you and me.”

  Her face blanched. “We can’t go alone!”

  “If you aren’t afraid of Tobias, then what makes you hesitate?”

  She was silent, the shaking of her head becoming faster and more frantic. “I don’t want to do this. I don’t want to see him again. It’s not that I’m afraid of him hurting me physically, it’s all the other hurt I don’t want to deal with.”

  I knew the idea was dangerous. Though Lorraina may have trusted that Tobias would not hurt her, I knew he had no such restraint where I was concerned. But that didn’t matter. I had to go. The only question was whether Raina would go with me, so I waited, hoping she might be willing. She put her hands on her hips, her back straight, her jaw working in agitation as she looked off into the trees. After an interminable minute, she closed her eyes and let out a sigh.