Until Then (Cornerstone Book 2)

by Noorman, Krista

  “Michelle.”

  She wouldn’t let him speak. “And then you just broke Mom’s heart and got yourself a new wife and a new daughter. You act like I don’t exist. Well, I do! I exist, Dad. I exist!” She was yelling now.

  Ava shuffled in behind their father and stared up at Michelle.

  “I was your daughter long before Ava was, but you never treated me like you treat her. You never loved me like you love her.”

  “That’s not true,” her dad replied.

  “Are you kidding me? I don’t think you’ve ever hugged me once in my life. How do you think that made me feel?”

  Dad hung his head.

  “Worthless. That’s how I felt. That’s how I feel. That’s how you make me feel.”

  Her dad looked up and took a step toward her.

  She held her hand out to stop him. “That little girl standing behind you doesn’t even know me. She’s six years old, and we’re meeting for the first time, and that’s your fault.”

  “You know where we live, Michelle.”

  A laugh escaped her. Unbelievable.

  She turned swiftly and hugged her grandmother.

  “Please stay,” Grandma whispered.

  “I can’t.”

  She walked over and hugged Grandpa, then grabbed her bags from where they still sat just inside the door.

  A little shuffle of footsteps followed her, and her heart broke at the sound.

  “Michelle.” Ava’s tiny voice was sad.

  Michelle dropped her bags and turned around, crouching down to Ava’s level.

  “Are you going home?”

  She nodded her reply.

  “Bye, Michelle.” Ava hugged her so sweetly.

  She squeezed her eyes closed and did her best to swallow her sobs as she held her little sister tightly.

  Ava let go and wiped tears from Michelle’s cheeks. “Don’t be sad.”

  Michelle forced half a smile.

  “I love you, big sister.” Ava had the most adorable smile.

  Michelle kissed her on the top of the head as she stood, then grabbed her bags and walked out of the house.

  When Michelle arrived home that night, she was surprised to see Simon’s car in front of the building. She got an uneasy feeling as she climbed the stairs to their apartment, afraid of what she might find. Simon was seated on a stool at the kitchen bar, while Maggie stood across the counter from him.

  “Hey, Chelle,” he greeted her.

  “You’re back early. How was your trip?” Maggie’s words seemed forced, like she wasn’t over their previous conversation.

  Michelle eyed them suspiciously. “Fine.” She carried her bags into her bedroom and threw them down with a loud thud.

  Simon followed her and laid his hands on her shoulders. “What’s wrong?”

  She shook him off. “What are you doing here?”

  “I came to see you.”

  “You knew I was going to Illinois.”

  He shrugged his shoulders. “I forgot.”

  Unlikely.

  “Why are you back early?” he asked.

  “It’s a long story, and I don’t really feel like talking about it.”

  “OK.”

  “What were you and Maggie doing?”

  “Talking wedding photography.”

  “What? You weren’t trying to convince her to call off her wedding?” she asked sarcastically.

  A sly grin crossed his face. “That’s a good idea. Someone should do that.”

  He said it as a joke, but Michelle was not in the mood. She knew there was truth in his remarks.

  “Can you just go?”

  He was taken aback by her abruptness. “Uh … yeah. OK.”

  “I’ll call you tomorrow.”

  “All right.” He shuffled out of her room.

  She hadn’t meant to be so rude. It had been a very long day. She turned to follow him and apologize, but through the bedroom door she saw him walk over to Maggie in the kitchen and put his arm around her.

  “Goodnight, Canon.”

  The sweet tone in his voice unleashed the green-eyed monster within.

  On the morning of Maggie’s bridal shower brunch, as Michelle prepared the final decorations and food, Simon hovered about the apartment. He was fidgeting and looking genuinely bothered. Michelle was already in a bad mood because Maggie still wasn’t speaking to her, and his presence wasn’t helping matters.

  “Maggie and her mom will be here any minute, and the guests will be arriving soon. You have to go.”

  “She can’t marry him,” he blurted out.

  “Simon, stop!”

  He looked her in the eyes. “I’m serious.”

  She had heard all of his reasons over the years, but now she wanted the truth. She stopped what she was doing and rested her hands on her hips. “Why not, Simon?”

  He didn’t reply.

  “Why not?” She needed to hear it.

  “She can do better than that jerk.”

  She let out an exasperated sigh. “You’re a coward.”

  “What do you want from me?”

  “Just be honest with me, Simon.” She had seen it in his eyes. That day she had seen them fighting outside the dorm about Emma. The day he walked into the bridal shop and saw Maggie in her wedding dress. The countless times she had seen him gazing at Maggie at the apartment.

  “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

  “It bothers you that Maggie hates you.”

  He stared at her.

  “It bothers you that she won’t give you the time of day.”

  Still nothing.

  “It bothers you that she’s marrying Ben.”

  “Of course it does.”

  “Why?” She already knew the answer.

  “Michelle,” he seemed to be pleading for her not to make him reply.

  “Say it!” she cried.

  “Fine! I care about her, OK?” His eyes dropped away from hers. “I care about her,” he admitted softly.

  Michelle cringed at the way he said care, because she suspected that care really meant love, and it broke her heart.

  The bridal shower was small and personal, just the mothers, grandmothers, and bridesmaids. Michelle could barely concentrate after her conversation with Simon. She certainly didn’t feel like celebrating Maggie’s upcoming wedding, but she put on a happy face and made nice, pleasant conversation as best as she could.

  Horrible thoughts filled her mind. She knew Ben was a cheater, but she wanted Maggie to marry him anyway so she would never have Simon. A part of her even hoped Ben would cheat on Maggie so her happily ever after fantasy wouldn’t come true. Why did Maggie get her dream guy and Simon’s love? She knew deep down that she needed to pray and ignore these thoughts, but at the moment, she didn’t care. Why doesn’t Simon want me? What is wrong with me? When will it finally be my turn?

  When the games had been played and the food eaten, Michelle went about cleaning up, while Maggie hugged all of her guests and thanked them for coming.

  “Thank you for all your hard work putting this together, Michelle.” Patty gave her a hug. “I’m so glad my daughter has such a wonderful friend.”

  Michelle faked a smile, just as she had been all day.

  While Maggie, Patty, and Ben’s mother carried some of the boxes to their cars, the groom-to-be appeared at the door.

  “Hey, Michelle.” He sauntered in with his usual flirty grin.

  She busied herself putting away leftover food and ignored him.

  He stood on the other side of the kitchen bar and started covering one of the bowls.

  “I got it,” she snapped.

  He raised his hands in defense. “Sorry.”

  She lowered her head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just having a day.”

  “Did the party not go well?”

  “Oh no, the party was great. You guys made out like bandits.” She pointed to the large pile of gifts by the door.

  He moved a
round to her side of the counter.

  She glanced over at him.

  “Are you OK?” He seemed genuinely concerned, and walked over and laid a hand on her shoulder.

  Tears suddenly burned her eyes. She did not expect it, and she definitely did not want to cry in front of him. She turned away for a moment.

  He suddenly took hold of her arm and pulled her in for a hug.

  It was unexpected, but not completely unwelcome. She felt very alone, and she let him hold her for a few moments.

  He rubbed his hand comfortingly up and down her back.

  She pulled away and wiped her tears. “Sorry.”

  “You gonna be all right?” he asked.

  “Yeah.” She waved him off. “I’m fine.”

  He brushed a runaway tear from her cheek, and it made her stomach flip.

  She chewed nervously on her lip.

  “You know I’m here if you ever need to talk. You’re like a sister to Maggie, and that makes us family.”

  It was the nicest he had been to her in a very long time, but the way he looked at her was not without a little edge of flirtation. She was still reeling from her conversation with Simon earlier, so she decided to keep this little moment with Ben to herself.

  Maggie returned with the mothers and greeted her fiancé with a kiss. It annoyed Michelle immensely, and annoyance turned to anger when the four of them gathered the last of the boxes and left. No hug from Maggie. No thank you for all she had done for the bridal shower. Nothing.

  I care about her.

  The words echoed in her mind as she stood under the steaming shower that evening. Not even a five-mile run could shake them.

  Michelle emerged from her room a while later to find Maggie working on her laptop at the kitchen table. She shuffled around the apartment slamming cupboards and doors in her wake. She kept thinking about all that had happened over the past week — the tension between her and Maggie, the conversation with Simon, the disastrous run-in with her father. Part of her wished her dad had tried to stop her or made some effort to talk to her before she left. But he hadn’t. He didn’t care enough to do that. Care. There was that word again. Her thoughts returned to Simon, and she slammed the refrigerator door, bottles clinking and rattling within.

  “What is with you?” Maggie asked.

  “Nothing,” she grumbled.

  “Is it Simon?” Maggie looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

  Michelle gave her a dirty look.

  “Why are you looking at me like that?”

  “I don’t wanna get into it with you,” she snapped.

  Maggie stood. “What does that mean?”

  “You are so clueless,” Michelle blurted.

  Maggie’s mouth dropped open.

  “About so many things.” Michelle couldn’t help herself.

  “What are you even talking about?” Maggie stared dumbfounded.

  “It’s so unfair.” She had never felt so angry in all the time she had known Maggie.

  “What is?”

  Michelle nearly confessed it all right then and there. She wanted to burst Maggie’s happy little bubble. She wanted to tell her that Ben was probably the biggest cheater on the planet, but she couldn’t bring herself to say it. And she couldn’t tell her that Simon cared for her and didn’t want her to marry Ben. She never wanted Maggie to know that. Ever.

  “I have to get out of here.” She grabbed her purse and bolted out the door, knowing full well where she was headed.

  Michelle was shaking. Jealousy had taken over the sane part of her mind. She stood at the door to Ben’s apartment, wishing she hadn’t just knocked. What am I doing? She started to walk away until she heard his voice.

  “Michelle?” He looked surprised to see her. “Is everything OK?”

  “Yes. No … I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come here.”

  “You look like you need to talk.” Ben opened the door further to let her inside.

  She paused. Turn around and walk away, Michelle. Do not step foot inside his apartment. But she ignored the voice in her head.

  Ben laid his hand on her lower back to usher her in. “You’re shaking. Come here and sit down.” He led her to the couch. “Can I get you something to drink?”

  She shook her head no, and he joined her on the couch.

  Michelle had no idea what to say or how to explain why she was there. She couldn’t tell him what Simon had said about Maggie. She couldn’t tell him that she was insanely jealous. She couldn’t tell him the real reason that she had driven to his apartment. Because now that she was sitting there next to him, she knew how incredibly juvenile and wrong it was. It was the stuff of high school revenge and rivalry, which she’d had plenty of experience with back in Chicago. But she wasn’t a teenager any more. She was twenty-six years old, and she knew better.

  Ben suddenly laid his hand on hers, and all thoughts of right and wrong flew out the window. “You can talk to me, Michelle.”

  She turned her hand over under his, and his fingertips moved back and forth across her palm.

  It had been so long since she felt that old familiar flutter in her stomach, and the warmth moving throughout her body made her pulse race.

  This is so wrong.

  But it felt very right.

  “I don’t wanna talk,” she admitted.

  His fingertips left her palm and caressed the inside of her arm from wrist to elbow.

  Her breath caught, and her lips fell open.

  Ben took this as his opportunity to swoop in. His lips were on hers, and his fingertips moved further up her arm, over her shoulders to her chin. He turned her head to gain a better angle and kissed her deeper.

  They kissed and kissed like the night at the roller rink, and she felt wanted, something Simon would never feel for her. Simon. Her heart ached. His words echoed in her mind — I care about her — and she leaned back on Ben’s couch and pulled him on top of her.

  This didn’t seem to surprise Ben in the least. He kissed her cheek, her ear, her neck, everywhere skin was visible.

  She knew she should stop him. She genuinely despised him. And this would inevitably lead to a place she didn’t want it to go, a place from her past that God had forgiven her for, a place she should save for her future husband.

  She choked back a sob. She just wanted to stop hurting. She needed to feel like someone wanted her.

  When Ben had kissed all the visible places, he grabbed the bottom of her shirt and tugged it up, giving himself access to more. And she didn’t stop him. She didn’t stop him from doing whatever he wanted that night.

  “You’re not gonna tell Maggie, are you?” Ben asked when he walked her to her car.

  “You need to tell her,” Michelle replied.

  “What? No way!”

  “And you need to end things with her.” The words flew out of Michelle’s mouth before she knew what she was saying. And she meant them. Despite the fact that she and Maggie weren’t in a great place at the moment and might never be friends again once she found out about tonight’s tryst, Michelle did love her and wanted the very best for her. And Ben was not it.

  “That is not happening.”

  “Why are you with her, Ben?”

  He gave her a puzzled look. “Because I love her.”

  A laugh escaped. “No, you don’t. You love yourself.”

  “Shut up, Michelle.”

  “You love that she loves you so much,” Michelle continued. “You love that she’s so loyal to you, and she would never, ever cheat on you.”

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  “You love that she’s a good person, because you are most certainly not.”

  “Hey!”

  “I’m sure you wanna be, and maybe you feel like a good person when you’re with her. But you don’t love her. You love the idea of her.” Wow! The psychology degree is really coming in handy tonight.

  “You’re no saint, Michelle.”

  “I never claimed to be.”r />
  “I know about all the guys you’ve been with.”

  This comment stung. It hurt that Maggie had told Ben about her past, but she pushed it aside. “Do you even want to get married, Ben?”

  “Well, it’s a little late to change my mind now.” He snickered.

  She shook her head in disgust. “No, it’s not.”

  “I’m not gonna do that to her so close to the wedding.”

  “So you’d rather just go through with it even though it’s not what you want? Do you have any idea how wrong that is? Marriage is not something to take lightly. If you don’t wanna marry Maggie, don’t marry her.”

  “I never said I didn’t wanna marry her. I just don’t know if I’m ready to marry her right now.”

  “Ben, it’s been five years. If you aren’t ready by now, that should tell you something.”

  “I don’t wanna hurt her.”

  “She’s gonna be more hurt if you marry her and it doesn’t work out.”

  He stared off across the parking lot.

  “If you don’t end things, I’m telling her what just happened.”

  His head whipped in her direction. “You wouldn’t.”

  “Watch me.”

  “How could you do that to your best friend?”

  She was shaking again. This time from fear. “How could I not?”

  She snuck quietly into the apartment. It was very late, and she knew Maggie was asleep. She felt sick for what she had done with Ben. When she thought about his hands on her, she thought she might be physically ill. Oh, God, what have I done?

  Her gut suddenly lurched, and she ran to the bathroom. The contents of her stomach emptied into the toilet. She tried to hurl as quietly as she could so she wouldn’t wake Maggie. Good thing Maggie usually slept like a rock.