Until Then (Cornerstone Book 2)

by Noorman, Krista

  When she finished, she lay on the cold bathroom floor and sobbed her heart out. Not only had she slept with her best friend’s fiancé, she had committed a sin, one that she swore she would never take part in again.

  Lord, I’m the lowest of the low. I have no excuse for the disgusting person I am right now. How can I ever face Maggie again after what I’ve done? Please forgive me. I don’t deserve it, but, God, please forgive me.

  Her stomach tightened again. She didn’t think anything was left in there. She was wrong.

  Michelle could barely look at Maggie in the morning. She shuffled into the kitchen near noon with wet hair from her shower. Maggie was seated at the kitchen bar editing photos on her laptop.

  “Good morning, sleepyhead.” Maggie glanced over at the clock. “Well, almost afternoon now.”

  Michelle nodded.

  Maggie turned in her seat. “I’m really sorry, Michelle. I’m sorry I got so upset with you. I know you just want me to be happy. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you how much I loved my bridal shower. I don’t like fighting with you, and I don’t wanna do it any more.”

  Tears began to sting Michelle’s eyes as Maggie stood from the bar stool, walked over, and hugged her.

  “I’m sorry if it was my fault that you ran out of here last night. I hope you can forgive me.”

  Michelle pulled away and gave Maggie a weak smile. It was all the reply she could give at the moment. She walked to the refrigerator and opened the door just in time to hide the tears that slid down her cheeks.

  “Where were you? I went to bed after midnight, and you weren’t back yet.”

  Michelle brushed the tears away and grabbed the jug of milk. “I just needed to clear my head.”

  “Do you wanna talk about it?” Maggie asked.

  Michelle looked at her sweet roommate, who was completely oblivious to all that was going on around her and so blindly in love with the wrong guy. Her heart ached for Maggie, and she almost spilled the beans. She almost came right out with it. But she knew that if she told, she would lose Maggie’s friendship forever, and that scared her more than anything.

  “I’m here for you if you need me. You know that, right?”

  Michelle fought back tears again. She gave Maggie a nod, then turned to get a bowl of cereal, so she wouldn’t have to look into her friend’s kind, faithful eyes. The time would come in the very near future when the truth would be revealed, and Maggie would no longer be there for her. So she remained silent to delay the inevitable as long as possible.

  The door opened, and in walked Ben with a smile on his face.

  Maggie glanced up at him and smiled.

  He walked over, put his arm around her, and kissed her forehead. “Good morning, Magnolia.”

  Michelle cringed at the nickname Ben so often called Maggie.

  “Morning. I’m almost finished,” Maggie explained.

  Ben looked over his shoulder at Michelle, who glared at him.

  He rolled his eyes, which infuriated her.

  “What are your plans for today?” Michelle asked Maggie.

  Maggie clicked twice, then closed the laptop. “We’re spending the day looking at houses.”

  “Houses?” The question popped out of her mouth with surprise. “I thought you were renting an apartment.”

  “We’re just looking,” Maggie replied with a happy grin. “But we need to find a place between here and Hastings, so I don’t have to travel so far to my shop every day.”

  “A house, though?” Michelle was hit with a wave of nausea. “That’s a huge commitment.” She directed her last comment at Ben.

  Maggie looked at her strangely. “So is marriage. We’re thinking about our future.” She laughed a little at Michelle as she gathered her purse, camera, and a folder with a realty company logo on the front. “I’ll take pictures and show you tonight.”

  Ben took Maggie’s hand, and they walked out the door together, leaving Michelle crying into her Cocoa Puffs.

  Michelle almost couldn’t bring herself to step foot in church that weekend, but she made herself go. She was sure Janice could tell exactly what she had done just by the look on her face. Maybe she shouldn’t have gone after all. She was a bundle of nerves sitting in the pew listening to the sermon.

  “Asaph was a priest, who became envious of others and their prosperity, specifically nonbelievers. He saw the way they thrived, their many belongings, the way situations always seemed to go their way, and he was jealous. He saw believers as the ones who constantly struggled in life, and his faith began to falter.”

  Michelle felt like the entire message was pointed directly at her. The sermon focused heavily on envy, how it distorts thinking and turns things dark and twisted. She was extremely uncomfortable as she listened to the pastor talk about not letting jealousy get into your heart, because it makes people do things they wouldn’t normally do.

  Her mind flashed to the other night on Ben’s couch, and her stomach clenched.

  “Asaph sensed something was wrong inside him, so he went to the sanctuary. He didn’t want to. He was weak in his faith, but he made himself go to the place of worship anyway.” Pastor stepped from behind the podium and stood on the edge of the steps. “So many times when a believer is dealing with a crisis of faith, they step away from the church, when church is exactly the place they need to be to get through it. I encourage you to seek out a pastor or a spiritual friend or a mentor to help if any of you are going through such a crisis right now.”

  Michelle glanced over at Janice, her dear friend. She just couldn’t do it. She couldn’t tell Janice what she had done.

  Pastor concluded the sermon with the rest of Asaph’s story. “Asaph realized he had been mistaken, that he was the one who truly had everything because of God’s goodness and grace. His crisis of faith was over. He had learned his lesson, and he was more committed to God than ever.”

  Psalm 73:26, an important verse from Asaph's story, displayed on the large screen at the front of the church. “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

  Michelle’s throat began to tighten, and she knew she was about to lose it. She had failed God big time. The shame and conviction poured over her.

  “I have to go,” she whispered to Janice, and she raced out during the closing songs. She couldn’t get out of there fast enough.

  13

  “I’m telling her tonight.” Michelle spoke sternly into the phone.

  A month had passed since her indiscretion with Ben, and he continued to make excuse after excuse to avoid ending things with Maggie.

  “Just give me a little more time,” he begged.

  “You’re out of time. She finished addressing the wedding invitations today.”

  He groaned.

  Michelle had to stop this wedding, but she was terrified of the moment when everything would be out in the open. Not only because of what Maggie would think of her, but also what Simon would think.

  “Ben? Did you hear me?”

  “Fine! I’ll do it!” There was a long pause. “She’ll never forgive you for this, ya’ know?”

  Michelle knew. “I don’t care. I love her, and I’m not letting you ruin her life.”

  He hung up on her.

  Michelle paced the apartment all evening long. She declined Simon’s invitation to go to a movie, so she would be there when Maggie returned. It wouldn’t be pretty, but she knew she had to face the music.

  The second hand on the clock ticked by slower than molasses. Cleaning the kitchen didn’t make the time move any faster. Clicking through the television channels only agitated her. The apartment was a little dusty, so she went to work on that.

  While dusting the bookcase, she noticed the dating book Maggie had given her. She pulled it from the shelf and sat down on the couch, flipping open the cover. The first page had Maggie’s name written on it with doodles in the corners. She flipped through the pages and read some of Maggie’s original notes
. One thing she had jotted in a margin was “God loves me more than any man ever will. HE is all I need.” She prayed Maggie would remember it and hold onto that truth in the days ahead.

  The minutes crawled by. Eleven o’clock. Twelve o’clock. One o’clock. Where is she?

  At one-thirty in the morning, the telephone rang, and she sprang from where she had fallen asleep on the couch.

  “Hello?”

  “It’s done.” Ben stated, then abruptly hung up.

  Patty James called in the morning to let Michelle know about the breakup and that Maggie would be staying with them for a few days. After what she had done, she was surprised to get the call. She didn’t think Maggie would ever speak to her again, let alone care whether or not she knew about the breakup.

  “She needs you, Michelle,” Patty implored.

  “She does?”

  “Of course. She needs her best friend with her right now.”

  At that moment, Michelle knew. Ben had broken up with Maggie, but he hadn’t come clean with her about their night together. She assumed Ben would spin it in a way that made her the one to blame. Why would he not tell her? Maybe he was afraid confessing would bring up questions about other girls he had cheated with. Maybe he was just too much of a coward. She knew she would probably never understand.

  “Can I ask? What was Ben’s reason for breaking up with her?”

  “He’s not ready to settle down,” Patty replied sadly. “Better now than after the wedding.”

  “Yeah.”

  Michelle now found herself in a bit of a conundrum. She had to tell Maggie the truth, but should she wait until Maggie got through the shock of the breakup or tell her now? It would cause more pain at first, but better to hurt all at once than to let her heal and rip the wound open again.

  Her decision was made, and she was a trembling mess for the entire drive to Maggie’s parents’ home. Lord, please help me do this.

  When she arrived, there were several cars in the driveway. The men of the family were seated in the living room with their close friend, Dave, whom she recognized from Maggie’s engagement party.

  “Hey, Michelle.” Maggie’s brother was normally a cheerful guy, but the tone of his greeting was dismal.

  “Hey, Tom. How is she?”

  “It’s not good, I’m afraid.”

  “They’re upstairs in Maggie’s old room,” Ron informed her. “Go on up.”

  “OK. Thanks, Mr. James.”

  Michelle could hear weeping sounds as she ascended the stairs. She stepped slowly, afraid of what she would find. Maggie had cried in front of her many times before, but this was different. These were gut-wrenching, agonizing cries. She tried to hold back tears of her own to put on a strong face for her friend.

  Patty lay on the bed, holding her sobbing daughter. Dave’s wife, Vi, sat on the other side of the bed, running her fingers softly through Maggie’s hair. They both glanced over at Michelle with sorrowful looks as she entered the room.

  Michelle had never heard anything like Maggie’s cries in her life. They were from the depths of her soul, and with each grief-stricken cry, Michelle’s resolve to confess the truth weakened. She couldn’t do it. Not now. She couldn’t subject her friend to more pain than she was already feeling. She would just have to live with what she had done and do her best to support Maggie through this difficult time.

  As much as she hurt for Maggie, she knew she had done the right thing making Ben end the relationship. Maggie needed someone who would be faithful to her, someone who would adore her, someone worthy of her love. She was a child of God, a daughter of the King of Kings, and she deserved to be treated as such.

  14

  The apartment was quiet and lonely for weeks, while Maggie stayed with her parents. The week that would have been the wedding and honeymoon, they took her away to a cabin on Lake Michigan to keep her mind off of it. Michelle understood Maggie’s need to be close to family after the breakup, but she missed her roommate. And she couldn’t shake the feeling that things would never be the same again.

  When Maggie finally returned to the apartment, she arrived with a moving van.

  “I found an apartment in Hastings,” Maggie announced. “I’m so sorry to desert you, Chelle, but I have to get out of Grand Rapids. I can’t be here any more. I just need to follow through with my plans to move closer to the shop and focus on my work right now.”

  Michelle was surprised, but she had been right. Everything was changing.

  As the James family packed Maggie’s belongings and loaded the moving van, Michelle felt a nudge deep inside to come clean to Maggie. It was strong, but she fought hard to ignore it. Seeing Maggie in such excruciating pain had been more terrible than she could have imagined, and she never wanted to see her friend suffer like that again. She thought through the possible outcomes and convinced herself that telling Maggie now, all these weeks later, would only set back the healing process.

  Her true hesitation, though she would never admit it — not even to herself — was that she was afraid. Afraid Maggie would never forgive her. Afraid she would lose one of the best friends she had ever had in her life. Afraid that what she had believed about herself for so long might be true. She wasn’t worthy — of friendship, of happiness, of love.

  When the final boxes had been loaded, Maggie and Michelle stood in their apartment together for the final time.

  Maggie sighed and looked over at Michelle. “I’m so thankful God brought you to Cornerstone against your will.”

  Michelle laughed at that. “Me, too.”

  “Your friendship has been so important to me, Michelle. I hope you know that.”

  There were no words to tell Maggie just how much she meant to her. She chewed the inside of her cheek, fighting back tears, and once again, fighting the urge to tell her everything.

  “I’m gonna miss you.” Maggie stepped to her then and hugged her. “I love you, Chelle.”

  “I love you, too. I can’t believe I’m not gonna see you every day.”

  “I know.” Maggie sucked in a deep breath as she stepped back, clearly fighting tears herself. “We’ll talk all the time, though, OK? It will be all good.”

  “Yeah. All good.”

  Maggie retrieved her keys from her purse and removed the apartment key from the ring. She laid it on the counter and stared at it.

  “You were my first girl friend,” Michelle said.

  Maggie turned to look at her.

  “Before you and Emma, I never had any friends that were girls.”

  “Really? You never told me that before.”

  Michelle shrugged. “I couldn’t have asked for a better friend than you.” She only wished she had been a better friend to Maggie.

  Maggie’s tears fell now, which caused a few to slide down Michelle’s cheeks as well. This was much harder than Michelle thought it would be.

  “OK. I gotta go, or I’ll change my mind.” Maggie hugged Michelle one last time and walked to the door.

  “See ya’, Mags.”

  Maggie looked back over her shoulder. “See ya’, Chelle.”

  In that moment, Michelle wished they could go back to their college days and start all over together in the dorm. Life seemed to get more difficult as the years went by, and this growing up thing kind of sucked.

  For the first time in her life, Michelle lived alone.

  15

  “Do you have plans on Saturday?” Simon asked on the phone one night.

  “Saturday is Valentine’s Day,” Michelle replied.

  “Yes, I know. I wanna take my best girl out to dinner.”

  She grinned into the phone. “I’d like that.”

  She missed Simon. Had it really been three months since she last saw him?

  Things had definitely changed in the past five years. Simon was a busy, in-demand wedding photographer now, and the days of hanging out every week were long gone. She was looking forward to catching up with him at dinner.

  “I’ll be working wi
th my uncle all day. Can you meet me in Hastings?” Simon asked.

  “Sure. Maybe at the coffee shop there.”

  “Sounds good. We can get dinner, and I can show you the new studio.”

  Simon had been working hard for the past two months, helping his Uncle Pete revive the photography studio he had owned in the eighties. It just so happened the new studio was only blocks away from Maggie’s photography shop. Michelle wasn’t sure how Maggie felt about that, but given her dislike for Simon, she probably wasn’t too thrilled.

  She and Maggie rarely saw each other any more — a few times a year maybe. Maggie was a busy wedding photographer, just like Simon, and her work took up most of her free time. It saddened Michelle that they had drifted apart after Maggie’s move, but time and distance had a way of changing things.

  On Valentine’s evening, Michelle traveled to the small town of Hastings and parked in front of the local coffee shop, State Grounds. Just across the street sat Maggie’s shop, Magnolia Photography. She had hoped to pop by for a quick visit, but the shop was dark.

  Michelle checked her reflection in the rearview mirror and ran her fingers through her freshly-cut, shoulder-length hair. She applied a little extra lip gloss, squeezed her cheeks to add some color, and sighed. It was all for Simon, but would he even notice?

  When she opened the door to the quaint coffee shop, she was hit with the wonderful aroma of coffee beans. She was elated to find Maggie sitting on a cozy leather couch just inside the door.

  “Maggieee!” she cried.

  Maggie was startled. “Michelle?” She jumped up as soon as she realized who it was. “Oh my goodness! What are you doing in Hastings?”

  “Can’t I just stop by and visit my roomie?”

  They sat together on the couch.

  “Of course. It’s been way too long.” Maggie tucked her legs up under her.

  “It’s good to see you,” Michelle said. Maggie looked beautiful, as usual, but her eyes appeared tired.