Solomon's eyes flew wide. "Did that…happen that night?"
Florian let out a weary sigh. "The night you prayed with my mother? Gabriel told me, and yes, it happened that night. Thank you for praying for me, by the way. I survived in circumstances wherein I could have died. I just wish I could say the same for my husband."
Florian regarded me. "Gabriel, I met Michel in Paris, and we settled there. I married him as a teenager, and lost him at twenty-nine. That was nearly a decade ago—I turn forty in a few weeks. We'd been married for a little over ten years when we went out to dinner at our favorite café… Do you know of the Paris terrorist attacks of November 2015?"
I nodded, mutely, and my silence prompted him to continue.
"…Michel passed away that night. He saw them coming, pushed aside our table, and tackled me. He sheltered me from the bullets, took the fire instead, and died on top of me."
"Father above," Solomon said under his breath, his eyes filling with tears. I could only watch my friend in shock, unable to form my own reaction.
Florian continued. "I sustained a severe concussion, but I was still conscious through the aftermath. It was then that I witnessed angels, namely the Archangel Michael, as clearly as if he were human, just like Solomon describes them."
He ran his hands through his hair and took a moment to school his breathing. "Michael took my husband. I knew Michi was devoted to the archangel…it's a long story, but St. Michael was Michi's patron saint name when he was confirmed into the Catholic church as an adolescent. Michi switched to going by that name in adulthood."
I nodded, urging him to continue, though his story broke my heart.
The three of us took drinks to fill the silence.
"Anyway, I watched the Archangel Michael take my husband away, and according to what the archangel explained to me in later years, witnessing that all of a sudden resulted in me sort of…ripping a part of my soul, like a rift or tear in its fabric. It is apparently a severe condition that cannot be ignored—if left unattended, it could even result in the death of my soul, if allowed to continue through multiple lifetimes and grow larger."
I held my breath, for this was truly terrible. I reached out, desperately needing to touch him, and Florian took my hand to comfort me, though he himself remained calm.
"That is why you and I are such an easy match, Gabriel. You just want to live your life, recover your memories, and I just want to live out the rest of this life and do what the archangel tells me in my spiritual practice, so that maybe this unintentional wound I inflicted on myself will not carry over to my next lifetime. Heaven knows my husband would not have wanted this to happen."
Solomon nodded in understanding.
Florian swallowed and met my eyes. "That is when I met Ian, but he wasn't visible like the other angels, and I only learned of his name later. In the moment after Michael took my husband away, apparently the moment I rendered a tear in my soul, a heavy shimmering appeared next to me, and I just barely made out some kind of human-shaped form. He was crying thick streams of gold. Beautiful, glittering tears, like something out of a fairytale. I believe he tried to keep me from furthering my own injury, because he pressed his thumb against my forehead, on my third eye center, and I fell unconscious. I was in a coma for twelve hours, and woke up in the hospital."
"Gods, honey…" I ached to hold him in my arms.
"It's fine," Florian said. "It's been nearly ten years now since Michi died. Come this winter, he will have been gone longer than we were ever married."
"Just let him hold you," Solomon said, his tone a bit frustrated. "Gabriel needs to hold you."
Pushing out of my chair so fast it toppled to the floor, Florian had just barely scooted back from the table when I got to him and pulled him up and into my arms. Tears poured out of me, and I cried like a child, sobbing against him, my cheek against the side of his head.
"You're so tall," Florian said, as if that mattered. "Easy, Gabriel. Everything's okay now."
"Solomon," I sobbed, ignoring Florian's rationalizations.
"…yes?"
"I need you to promise me something, as my best friend."
Solomon's voice came back choked with emotion. "What is it?"
I struggled to pull in a deep breath around my sobbing. "Promise me you'll be here for Florian should I ever disappear and not come back."
Florian froze. "What are you saying?" he whispered in shock.
I pulled back enough to cup my lover's cheeks in my palms and look into his weary eyes. "I want Solomon to be here for you, if something ever happens to me, and the tree can't grow me back. As long as I'm here, I'm with you for life, Florian, but we can't pretend that whatever is going on with me isn't unusual, and something could so easily go wrong."
Florian looked like I'd just slapped him. "Gabriel, don't even say that. We're going to figure out what's going on with you."
"I promise," Solomon swore. "I give you my word that I will support Florian in whatever ways I can, should you ever go and not come back, Gabriel."
Florian looked between Solomon and I. I locked eyes with my best friend and nodded. "Thank you."
Solomon was clearly putting on a brave face. "You are more than welcome. I make the same promise to you as well, that I will support you, as long as you are here. I, too…regard you as a beloved friend."
That warmed my aching heart, healing it. "Thank you."
The three of us quieted a long moment, the weight of Florian's truth heavy in the silence.
"While you two are here," said Florian, "shall we talk about the elephant in the room?"
I scoffed and flopped back down in my chair. I was emotionally exhausted from Florian's revelation, and from being "reborn" this morning. "At least I have my partial memories this time. I can be two months old, instead of starting completely over."
"Three months now," said my lover softly.
"Uh, yeah."
Solomon leveled his gaze on Florian. "What does Augarten want?"
"Fuck if I know," he retorted. "What does Ian think of all this?"
Solomon swallowed and looked distinctly uncomfortable. "I get the feeling that Ian views all of this as a frustrating waste of time. It almost felt like Ian considered Gabriel a captive of Augarten's and resented her for it."
I still hated that Solomon knew my angel better than I did.
"That makes sense though," I jumped in. "I was conscious inside the tree right before I woke up again. I saw Florian's attempt to spend the night in Augarten."
My lover's eyes brightened.
I continued. "But the tree did rebuild me—I felt it happening. Augarten's got some kind of hold on me, and yet she claims I'm the one that took something from her."
Florian furrowed his brows. "You don't have memories—what could you have possibly taken? Not only that, but she's a nature spirit. As humans, we are nothing compared to her. She could just take it back from you."
"Unless an angel took it from her," Solomon said softly.
Florian shook his head. "Ten years ago, when I saw Ian, he could not even take a solid visible form. Gabriel has confirmed that Ian's said himself that he is a new angel. Someone that low-level could not sabotage a nature spirit."
"How did you know that was Ian?" asked Solomon.
"Because in the days following the attack, I was aggressively suicidal, and my husband's ghost appeared to me and talked me down. He said there was an angel named Ian who had helped me, and who was trying to help him."
Solomon met my gaze, his dismay an echo of my own pain.
I clenched my jaw, itching to defend my angel, because I was so damn proud of him, proud of how good he was for me, how strong we were together. The words flew from my mouth unbidden. "Ian might have stolen something away from Augarten, and asked someone to take it, someone strong enough to actually protect it."
The truth fell on us, and for a long moment, silence reigned.
I met Florian's eyes, then Solomon's. "All roads end with the
archangel."
"Then our speculation ends as well," Florian said simply.
I huffed, at the end of my rope. "Am I really supposed to give up searching for who I was before?"
Solomon's priestly comforting tone came back. "I'm not trying to convince you either way, but the Gabriel that Florian and I know and love is the one you are right now. I am prepared to be your friend even if the you with amnesia is the only version of you I ever get."
"And that man," Florian jumped in," the one you dream about holding…he hasn't come looking for you. And you've been awake for three months, honey. Well, awake for two, and then inside a tree."
"I don't dream of him anymore," I said. "Now it's just you there with me."
Florian met my eyes, and Solomon looked away. My lover turned to my best friend. "If Michael is involved, then he could take Gabriel from me just as easily as he took my husband. That being the case, Solomon, I need you to leave."
Solomon stood, his startled expression mirroring my own. "Is something wrong?"
"No. I'm just going to take my boyfriend upstairs and fuck him."
I gaped in shock as a blush crept up Solomon's neck. He smoothed out his cassock, gathering his composure. "I recommend Gabriel stay inside the wards on his apartment at Augarten."
"No thanks," Florian replied immediately. "He's safer here. I'm more experienced at protective magic than you exorcists, or anyone else serving the Catholic machine."
"Don't fight," I said, standing. "I'll do alternating nights for a while and see what feels better. For tonight, Solomon, I'll stay here."
Something passed behind Solomon's eyes when I said that. "Very well, I will see you tomorrow."
Florian locked the door behind Solomon, then took my hand and led me upstairs.
We made it to Florian's bedroom blindly, feeling our way because we could not stop kissing each other. He whimpered into my mouth while yanking my shirt from my trousers.
I broke the kiss. "Do you want inside me, or shall I go down on you?"
Florian gazed at me like I hung the moon. "What do you want?"
"I want to get on my knees and suck you off."
"Oh, fuck."
Florian put his hands on my shoulders to steady himself while I slid his trousers and underwear down and off. Then he sat on the bed and I got on my knees, drinking in the sight of him already fully aroused and waiting for me. I left my clothes on, my erection painfully tight in my pants but ignored for the time being. I would probably blow just from getting Florian off. I'd missed him so much when I was trapped inside Augarten's tree.
Without words, I cupped his balls gently in one hand and lovingly caressed them with the flat of my tongue. Florian moaned and sat back on his hands, watching me with a casually domineering angle to his posture, as if he thought that of course I should be worshipping him. I agreed. I loved it when my gorgeous, caring, and indulgent boyfriend got cocky.
Slowly, I pulled his foreskin down, following it with featherlight kisses from his tip to his base. Then I licked all the way up, swirling over his tip, dipping into the slit and tasting his delicious precum, so familiar and bitter.
Florian tangled his fingers in my hair. "Fuck yes. Gabriel, gods…"
Then I swallowed him whole, to a pleasured gasp that went straight to my groin. Stabilizing his base with one hand, I pulled up, lapping him the entire way, then sank back down, lovingly taking him in and enjoying Florian's lusty moans.
His dick loved it, hard and full, until the space between one moment and the next, and he went soft. That happened often enough with me that I kept going, since he could revive after a bit, but when he stayed completely limp, I chanced a look up to check on him.
Florian had his face in his hands, trembling.
I pulled off. "Is something wrong?"
When he didn't answer, I reached up and tried to bring his hands down. Then in a flash, he grabbed me by the shoulders, his cheeks wet with tears. "I love you, Gabriel."
My heart rose. This was his first time saying it to me. "I love you, too."
"I know." His smile was filled with pain. "When we realized you were gone, the only thing I could think about was that I had not told you. I don't know why Augarten grew you, but I am so glad you're here. And…don't leave me, Gabriel. Please, don't leave again."
"I'm here," I promised. "I'm sorry—I don't know what happened."
"I know." He petted my hair, caressed my cheek. "I know it's not your fault, that you didn't choose to go. But if something happens again, know that you have a home here with me. I'll be waiting for you to come back."
Tears sprung to my eyes. What had I done to deserve this man? "Thank you. I love you, Florian. My home is here with you."
He pulled me in close and hugged me tight.
Chapter Twenty-One
I slept on my back with Florian half on my chest, head tucked under my chin, his shallow breaths puffing across my collarbone. For once, I dreamt of warmth and security, the simple magic of being loved, rather than the immense magic that had torn my human body apart in that nightmare. Breathing came so easily now that I was free again. Breathing, and trust.
Florian rustled against me, pulling me out of deep sleep and into a light doze. At some point in the night we must have turned—now I was curled in on myself, and Florian was wrapped around me from behind, hugging me tight, keeping us locked together. Almost subconsciously, my body realized Florian was hard, and reacted in response, heat sizzling through me in anticipation, even as I snagged some last few moments of sleep.
Florian kissed the side of my neck, his thumb brushing softly across my nipples through my thin sleep shirt. My boxers proved no barrier between us. I groaned as he rubbed up against me, hard and pulsing.
"Gabriel," Florian whispered.
I didn't open my eyes. "Hm?"
Florian breathed a laugh. "Can we have sex before I open the shop? You can sleep after."
He lined up his erection with my crack and drove upwards, slow but insistent. When I gasped and tried to arch away from him, he grabbed the crook of my arm and held me still. He nipped the juncture of my neck and my eyes flew open. "Oh…"
"Is that a yes?"
I tilted my head back to look at him. "At this ungodly hour…you expect me to perform without first caffeinating me?" And I had morning breath to boot.
Florian's eyes flashed with his mischievous grin. "I can boost your heartrate myself."
I smirked. "Get after it, then."
"Can I fuck you?"
"Sure."
He squeezed me tight with a triumphant "Yessss," then slid off the bed.
I barely had the energy to sit up and slip my shirt and boxers off. Then I sat on the edge of the bed, scrubbing my eyes absently while Florian dug things out of a drawer.
A rough thumb gently tilted my chin up, and Florian kissed my forehead. "Lay back, love. Let me take care of you."
I scooted back on the bed and Florian dragged a pillow underneath my hips. My eyes finally focused and I took him in: naked and aroused, dark brown hair trailing from his chest down his flat stomach to his hard dick, still covered in foreskin. He bent one of my legs and pushed it up to my chest, his upper arm wrapped in a bandage to cover his tattoo, and the amulet necklace sealed up inside. I hooked an arm under my knee and exposed myself as Florian guided my other leg up against him, my calf resting against his collarbone. He kissed my ankle, his gaze adoring. "Hey, handsome."
I smiled, dreamy. My dick flopped on my belly, unsure whether to be aroused or asleep.
Florian slid a glove on and warmed some lube with his breath. Then the pad of his thumb circled my ring and pressed inside. The invasion woke me up and my abs tightened in anticipation. "Mm…"
Florian brushed my bent knee, cavalier. "Arms above your head, Gabriel."
Letting that leg fall open to the side, I raised my arms up until my hands touched the headboard. "Like this?"
"Grab your wrist."
I did so, thrilled at how bo
ssy he was all of a sudden.
"Good," he said with approval, scanning me. "If I were up there, I'd be holding you down while I fucked you."
My breath caught.
Florian halted, unsure. "Is that okay?"
"Yes," I whispered.
He smirked, clearly pleased. "Keep them there. If I could reach you from here, I wouldn't let you go."
"Got it."
Even though nothing tied me down, I still yielded and felt so at home in his care. Florian stretched me with his thumb, then withdrew and added one, then two fingers, scissoring me while I whimpered and ached to hold him.
Florian's voice was husky. "You ready? Remember all the safe words? Red is stop, green is go, yellow is check in."
I nodded. "Let's do this."
I pushed against the headboard while he held my hips still with one hand and guided himself with the other. He slowly breached me and I breathed through the intrusion, welcoming it mentally, but my muscles still fought on reflex. I bore down and Florian eased in bit by bit until he slid home with a pleasured sigh. I felt full to bursting. He'd prepped me well, so it didn't hurt, but Florian was endowed enough that each time took some adjustment.
Florian propped my foot on the edge of the mattress and leaned over, hugging my torso and squeezing my dick between our bellies. "I love fucking you."
"I love it too."
I hugged him, wondering what level of bossy I would be subjected to, considering he'd told me to keep my hands pinned against the headboard. Florian allowed the hug with a sultry hum, grinding his hips ever so slightly to move around inside me. I whined under my breath, moving my hips too, craving the friction, yet knowing if we went too fast it would be too much.
My cock pulsed between us and Florian gave a hungry groan. He looked up at me with eyes filled with lust. "Move in with me, Gabriel. I want to fuck you all the time."
I giggled. "We'll talk."
With a kiss to my chest, he leaned back until he again stood at the edge of the bed, still impaling me all the while. "Spread your cheeks apart for me," he said, moving my legs up to prop around his neck and grabbing my hips.
Equinox (Augarten Book 1) Page 16