Let Me Just Say This

by B. Swangin Webster

  “Donnell, wake up. After school I want you to catch the bus over to your grandparent’s house.”

  “Why?”

  “I just need a few days alone while your dad is out of town. Plus I want to do some cleaning and take care of some things.”

  “Or are you just waiting for the bruises to heal?” Donnell said as he swung his legs to the side of the bed. “Why can’t you just tell us the truth?” he said as he stood at his full six foot height.

  “Look Donnell, just do what I ask you to do without being such a smart-ass.” Donnell brushed past her.

  “Excuse you.” she said as she caught him by the arm. “Look, you told me, so get out of my room.” he said as he yanked his arm from her grasp.

  “I don’t know who you think you are, but you better watch your tone!”

  He continued to his bathroom and slammed the door. “Look, you better get your ass together before you come out of there,” she said as she turned and walked out of his room.

  She walked down to Kayla’s room and found her lying on the floor with her cell phone beside her “Sweetie, it’s time to get up for school.” Kayla stretched, rolled over and got up.

  “Mommy, are you ok?” She asked.

  “Yes sweetie. Why?”

  “Cause I heard you and daddy fighting again.”

  Cheryl grabbed her and wrapped her arms around her daughter. “You know mommy loves you, right, and would never let anyone hurt you. Now go get dressed so you can have breakfast.”

  She walked into her bedroom wondering just how much Kayla had heard from the night before.

  Donnell walked up behind her and caused her to jump,

  “See if you weren’t so scared of him, you wouldn’t be jumping every time someone walked into a room.”

  “Donnell, don’t.”

  “Mom, I just came to say I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell at you earlier, but you have to stop letting him treat you like that. I get sick of hearing you saying you’re sorry for him hitting you. It’s getting a little old. But anyway, I just wanted to say, I love you.” he wrapped his arms around his mother and Cheryl held back tears.

  “I love you too; now go get ready for school,” she said while pushing him towards the door, “hey, no matter what, make sure you always look out for your sister, ok?”

  “You know I will,” he said and walked back to his room.

  She walked downstairs and made them breakfast. She yelled up to them.

  “Come on you two, you are gonna be late.” They came bouncing down the stairs with Donnell teasing Kayla.

  “Look you two, come on, you act like you are two years old.” Kayla kicked Donnell in the back of the leg while he tried to hit her arm.

  “That’s enough. Now sit down and eat. I didn’t make this food for you all to play with it.”

  Donnell grabbed the syrup from Kayla’s hand and the top fell off, causing half of the bottle to pour out on his plate. Kayla let out a loud laugh and Donnell threw the top at her, hitting her on her white shirt.

  “Mom, he got syrup on my shirt!”

  Cheryl got the towel and went to work on the shirt, “Now why would you do that?”

  “Mom, she took the top of the syrup and now I can’t eat my food.”

  She looked at the plate full of syrup and smiled. “Next time, maybe you should let your sister use it first.”

  “See, I knew you were going to say that. That’s why she going to school smelling like a waffle house.” This time it was Donnell’s turn to let out a loud laugh.

  “Look, grab another small plate and put another pancake on it and get some of that syrup and let’s go. You are going to be late.” She said as she tossed the towel on the counter.

  As they grabbed their lunches, she followed behind them and felt a twinge of pain in her chest. She brushed back the tear and got into the car. She backed out of the driveway and saw Donnell hooking up his IPod to the rear seat.

  “Mom, I left my IPod in the house.” Kayla said.

  “Sorry, we are already late.”

  “But I don’t have any music to listen to.” She whined.

  “I have the radio on.”

  “You aren’t listening to what I want to listen to. I had already downloaded all my songs for today.”

  “Well, I guess you will hear them tonight.”

  “Here,” Donnell said, “plug in and listen with me.” He handed her the extra set of earplugs and they were off into their own little musical world for the next fifteen minutes.

  Cheryl pulled in front of the school and had just turned around when Kayla jumped from the truck before it stopped moving.

  “Bye ma!” she shouted as she was already moving towards the front of the school. Donnell took his time getting his books.

  “Ma, promise me that no matter what, you won’t let him do this anymore. I can’t stand to see you trying to cover up bruises all the time. Besides you are not doing a very good job and I hope you fix that before going anywhere else,” He said while touching the side of his mother’s neck.

  “Have a good day honey,” she said while he got out and leaned into the open window.

  “You too ma,” he said and blew a kiss.

  He caught up with Kayla and slapped the back of her neck as he passed her. She tried hitting him back, but he was too fast so she turned and waved before Cheryl pulled away from the curb. She smiled inwardly.

  She set out to do her daily errands before she had to pick them up from school. She picked up some groceries and a couple bottles of wine. She went to the dry cleaners to drop off Kevin’s suits and instinctively stuck her hand in the pockets and came out with two unused condoms. She dropped them in her purse without a second thought. Before she knew it, it was time to pick them up from school. Kayla was all excited about some trip that the step teams would be taking in the spring and Donnell was talking about shooting basketball with his friends at his grandparents’ house. She arrived at her parents’ house. After the usual greetings her mother pulled her to the side.

  “What is that?” she asked Cheryl when the kids went in to talk to their grandfather. She was pointing at one of the more obvious bruises.

  “Ma, you know how men can get in the heat of the moment.”

  “Ok, child,” she said with a wave of her hand. “I don’t need all of the details.”

  Kayla quickly chimed in, “They were fighting again,” and walked back into her grandfather’s room.

  Cheryl’s mom raised her eyebrows and said, “You aren’t nagging that poor boy again are you? I thought he was going out of town.”

  “How do you know that?”

  “He called me a little earlier when he couldn’t reach you on your cell and told me to tell you to call him.”

  “Oh did he now?” she said as she continued to walk towards her parents’ bedroom. She flopped down on the bed as her mother came in behind her and pulled her feet from the bed and swung them back towards the floor.

  “Keep your feet off my bed.” She said as she walked over and sat down on the right side of the bed.

  “Thanks for letting the kids stay here for a couple of days. Here is some money in case they want to order out or something. I’ll pick them up on Sunday.” Her mom took the money and put it on the dresser.

  “You know you don’t have to leave that money here. Your father and I love having our grandbabies here.”

  “Lord, don’t let them hear you call them that. They think I baby them enough as it stands.”

  She kissed her mother on the cheek and headed into her dad’s bedroom. He was sitting there beating Kayla in a game of spades.

  She sat down and gave Kayla a hug from behind.

  “Are you coming back?” Her father asked her. “You know you barely come over anymore. I miss talking to my favorite girl.”

  “Don’t be telling that girl that, that is exactly why she gives Kevin such a hard time,” Her mother yelled from her bedroom.

  “What are you talking about? Ain’t no
body said nothing about giving him a hard time.”

  “Never mind,” her mother yelled.

  Just like that an argument had started between her parents. She had gotten used to the petty arguing when she was younger, now it was just comical.

  “You know your granddad cheats.” She told Kayla as she got up and kissed the top of her daughter’s head.

  “Granddad, you wouldn’t cheat would you.” Kayla whined with a smile.

  “Now why you go and tell that child that. Ain’t nobody cheating but if she ain’t paying attention; well that’s her own fault.” He said as he grabbed the other king from the pile of cards on the bed.

  Chapter 22

  “Hey Kev. You have got to come out and meet her. You are going to be pleasantly surprised.”

  Kevin walked into the outer office and was surprised.

  He had heard how nice on the eyes this woman was but she was really nice on the eyes.

  “Miss Hardy?” Kevin said while extending his hand.

  “Yes.” She looked up and into his eyes.

  Kevin was speechless. Her beauty took his breath away. She was truly a breath of fresh air and that smile of hers could melt all the ice in Alaska.

  “Kevin Goldman, how are you?” he said.

  As she took his hand she looked him square in the eye. He was immediately impressed that this woman was not afraid to look a man in the eye and hold the stare.

  “I’ll let you finish up here and Ashley will show you around a bit. Then you can join Mr. Marbury and I in my office. Kevin walked back into his office.

  “Well?” Black said.

  “Man, she is hot.” Kevin answered.

  “And the brotha is back.” Cory teased.

  Kevin was working on his latest proposal for one of their clients and having trouble retrieving the file from the database. Rebecca had come in to offer her assistance. As she bent down to help him they stared into each other’s eyes. He whispered her name as his hands cupped her round ass and his tongue slid between the cleavage peeking out at him.

  “Kevin, Kevin.” She touched his arm. “I think I found the problem. It seems you have two files with the same filenames.”

  Kevin shook his head slightly to bring him back to reality.

  “How stupid can I be?” he said.

  “Don’t worry about it. It has happened to me too.”

  As she got up and walked away, Kevin followed her.

  When she reached the door, she turned and before his brain could stop him, he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her hard. She pulled away as if this had caught her by surprise and he felt his face flush with embarrassment.

  “I am so sorry,” he said.

  What she did next surprised him. She stepped closer to him and wrapped her arms around his neck and continued the kiss. When she broke from him she spoke before he could.

  “Let me just say this: there is no need for you to be sorry. We are both adults and clearly we are attracted to each other. We have grown closer as friends. You have been there for me through my break up with Toni and I never thought I would become attracted to someone like you. So before you say something that you think you should, just know that I am fully aware of your marriage and of your commitment to it. “Whatever happens between us is between us.”

  Before she could say another word, he wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her passionately. His hands explored her hips, her back, and her thighs and finally found her breasts. He raised her shirt and felt the soft material separating him from feeling her skin. He began to kiss her neck, and her breasts. Her hands were under his shirt, feeling his muscular arms and chest.

  “Oh Kevin, I want to feel you inside me.”

  He lifted her leg and fell to his knees. He raised her skirt and began to lick her panties.

  “Please Kevin. Take me.”

  His fingers slid inside of her and she let out a small moan.

  “Oh yes Kevin.” She could barely stand up.

  He stood and lifted her into his arms and carried her to the mahogany desk across the room. He sat her down and swept the papers to the floor. Before he pushed her back onto the desk, she put her hand on his chest. Kevin spoke before she could.

  “Ok, I want you too, but not here. Not like this. Doing it right here, right now, would feel good. Damn good, but if we were in a nice big comfortable bed, that would feel even better and make it even more special.”

  “Ok. You’re right,” she said as he moved away from her.

  “Let me make a call.”

  “Sure. I’ll be waiting.” She said as she walked to the door.

  He picked up the phone and made a few calls, including one to Cheryl, telling her that he would be late. He walked towards Cory’s office but noticed the lights off signaling that he was already gone for the day.

  Chapter 23

  As Cheryl approached the building on the left, she began to rethink her decision to be there. Her thoughts were all over the place. Was she doing the right thing? Maybe she should just talk to Kevin and give him a choice of staying married or going to be with whoever was taking up most of his time.

  She wiped her eyes, put on some makeup and found the suite number. She walked in and saw women of all ages sitting there. Her resolve was falling because seeing these women was like looking in a mirror. Her husband didn’t beat on her on a regular basis and he only did it when she pushed him too far. She turned to leave but as she reached for the doorknob, the clerk came over.

  “Can I help you?”

  “I am sorry, I shouldn’t be here.” She said as she turned the knob and opened the door.

  “That is what a lot of women think,” the mild-mannered woman said. “Why don’t you come on back and calm down for a moment, then let’s see if you still need to talk to me, ok?”

  The woman guided her away from the door and led her down the small hallway. They reached the spacious room and the woman gave her a bottle of water and allowed Cheryl to sit down in one of the oversized chairs.

  Chery felt as if she needed to explain. “We start arguing and then he loses control of himself and he pushed me and well…I should go.”

  The mild mannered woman never stepped away from Cheryl. She kneeled down in front of her and placed her hand on Cheryl’s knee. She spoke softly.

  “Ma’am for all the times I have heard that most women say it after their husband or boyfriends hit them, it’s always the same. And trust me; if it happens once, it will happen again.”

  “I won’t let it.”

  “How can you be so sure?”

  “Because I am not like any of these women. I have …” Cheryl started to say but the woman cut her off.

  “Let me interrupt you. Most of these women have college degrees, and live in million dollar homes, and have decent jobs. Now tell me what you were about to say.”

  Cheryl felt her face flush and she stumbled over her words, “Cause I won’t let it happen again. I will call the police.”

  “Did you call them this time?”

  “No.”

  “Why?”

  “Because they would have arrested me, this time. This time I hit him first.”

  “So that gave him the right to choke you?”

  “No, but I provoked him. Look I’m sorry for taking up your time. I promise you will not be seeing me again.”

  Cheryl stood and the woman stood also. She backed away and gave Cheryl room to move.

  “I sure hope not,” the woman said as Cheryl started to walk away.

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “I hope I don’t see you anymore, least not on the news for a totally different reason, but please feel free to call or come back if you ever need to talk.”

  She reached onto the counter and pulled one of the business cards from the holder. She placed it in Cheryl’s hand and watched as she walked out the door.

  As Cheryl walked outside, the reality of her situation hit her and she drove to the only person that would know
how she was feeling.

  Her best friend Dee.

  She stood on Dee’s doorstep and wondered how she would explain it this time.

  She rang the doorbell again. As she stood there, she tried to think of how to talk to her friend.

  She pressed the button one more time, but after no one answered and putting the note on the outside of the mailbox, she drove home.

  As she pulled up in front of her home, she noticed two huge bouquets of roses sitting outside her door. She bent down and carried them into the house and wanted to throw them in the trash. It was just another way that Kevin wanted to make her forget what he had done.

  She noticed in that moment that her house didn’t feel like a home anymore. She sat the flowers on the table inside the foyer and stared at the walls. There were no pictures of what she liked hanging on the wall. The only art work that hung there was what Kevin had placed there. She wasn’t allowed to hang pictures of the African art that she liked because he didn’t want his house feeling like “Mustafa lived there” as he always said. There were no shoes lying by the door, no half eaten sandwiches or dishes on the kitchen counter. No coffee cups in the sink or even a smell. Everyone’s house has a smell. Dee’s house smelled of vanilla or fresh flowers, depending on her mood.

  Cheryl walked into her bedroom and was instantly disgusted. How many nights had he lain on top of her, wishing that he was with the other woman? Hell, she wanted him to be someone else too but she knew she would never have Denzel, or Tyrese, so her fantasies were just that. She walked back downstairs and looked at the flowers she brought in. she took the card from the pink roses and read the card.