Paper Dolls [Book Five]

by Blythe Stone

  I wanted her to do it. My hands slipped underneath me as I braced for whatever she did next.

  I felt her notice. She dipped her head down, kissing down my neck and resting her forehead on my chest as her hands traced my arms and followed their length, feeling what I’d done. When her hands found my wrists I heard her exhale and then tug down to show me she had found me out.

  She dipped down between my legs. I felt her let go and tug at my shorts to pull them off.

  Once she had me undressed she tugged her night dress off and slid back up me between my legs, laying on top of me and kissing me desperately. I heard her gasping and I felt both of her hands on my face as she pushed her body up into mine, dragging her skin on my skin.

  I felt her against me and I lost myself in kissing her. It made me forget. When it was like this the world was whittled down to the basic human connection that kept us intertwined. I didn’t try for anything but that. It was a need.

  We didn’t do much more than kiss and feel one another. It wasn’t a rushed situation or one where either of us needed closure. We felt and loved and then when we were exhausted from the venture we collapsed together, dozing under the comforter, naked and happy.

  My face was tucked into her neck, which was my prime sleeping position. I loved her smell. It made me all loose and happy. It allowed me to sleep, knowing nothing was going to attack me. My last thought before I fell asleep was about that strange little visit with Natalie.

  It was getting dark. I could see the sun setting outside the French doors. We were at home but something was different. I left the living room to go into the bedroom and saw Olivia on the bed. She was naked, looking at me with that seductive expression she had when things were about to get real.

  I started to fumble with my clothes, pulling them off and throwing them in a rush. I wanted her to touch me right then. I got to the bed just as I threw my pants away and crawled onto the bed. Olivia didn’t move. She just waited until I got close and started to kiss her before she got up, kneeling on her knees and getting me to do the same while we kissed.

  Her hands were all over me, touching my breasts and stomach and then down my sides. We kept kissing and then I felt a hand at my back. It couldn’t be her, she was touching me on the neck and chest. I broke away from the kiss just in time for the hand to move to my butt and down to tease my center.

  “What the hell,” I said, jerking.

  “Shh, calm down. It’s just me.”

  I knew that voice. I looked back at Olivia and she was smiling and looking over my shoulder. I whipped around to find Natalie behind me, pressing her naked body onto mine.

  “What are you doing?” I demanded.

  “What you want. What we all want,” she said, moving her fingers to press inside of me for a moment.

  Then she turned me, pushing me onto the bed and pressing her front into my back. I was facing Olivia and laying on my side.

  “Baby?” I said.

  “Yes,” they both answered and I didn’t know where to look.

  “Just relax. You do you want to stop?” Olivia asked me.

  “No,” I said. I didn’t know why but it was okay.

  “Okay then,” she said, scooting down my body. She got her head even with my waist and pulled my legs apart, tucking one over her shoulder and leaning her face up into me.

  “Ready?” Natalie asked.

  “Go,” Olivia answered.

  I just whimpered as Olivia tasted me and Natalie pushed two fingers back into me, fucking me hard and making me move.

  Olivia laid her arm across my waist to keep me still and Natalie kept her body against mine so I didn’t move too much.

  They were relentless and I was so ready after the intense make out session from earlier.

  “Oh god,” I whimpered.

  I woke with a jolt, realizing that my hand was in my folds, playing with my clit. “Fuck,” I groaned, wondering what the hell was going on in my head. I heard Olivia stir but I couldn’t stop.

  “What?” Her hand moved down my arm and found mine. Her eyes must’ve fluttered open. “Whoa,” she said, waking to find me the way that I was. “Hey,” she said, entwining her fingers in mine and holding my hand to get me to stop. “What are you doing?” I heard her ask near my ear.

  “I don’t know. I was having a dream and I woke up like this.” She was holding my hand and my insides burned for relief. “I think it was just left over from earlier.”

  “Mmmm,” she hummed, kissing my neck and crawling on top of me. I felt her slide her fingers inside of me and push. “Tell me about this dream,” she said.

  “Fuck,” I said, feeling her inside. I needed this.

  “It’s weird,” I told her.

  She pulled out of me and stopped. “Fine,” she said, rolling off of me and leaving me alone.

  “No! Baby! Please.” I pulled at her arms. “I need you. I’ll tell you what happened in the dream I just wanted to warn you.”

  She rolled back onto me and moved inside me again. I heard her gasp, probably at the ease of it. The dream was hot and I was so wet.

  “Tell me,” Olivia said, as she slowly proceeded to fuck me in that practiced torturous way.

  “You and I were about to have sex and you were touching me. I’d found you on the bed and you looked all hot. You were ready, naked and you had that look on your face like you were about to make me feel you inside for a week afterwards.”

  I moved against her fingers, pausing to find words again.

  “Then I got on the bed and kissed you and you got up and kissed me back and were touching me.”

  She did touch me with her other hand then, roaming my body like in the dream.

  “Then someone else was there behind me, touching me too. It was Natalie. She moved her hand down and went inside of me. I was shocked but you weren’t. You were just smiling at me and I was so surprised. Then you asked me if I wanted to stop and I said no. So, you tasted me in the front while she fucked me from behind.”

  I grunted as she started to push into me harder.

  “Wow,” she said, pushing into me hard and making it hard for me to speak. “And did you like it?” Olivia asked. “I guess you must’ve,” she panted, using all of her strength to push into me over and over and practically drill me until I came.

  “Yessssssssssssss.”

  I’d answered her question and expressed my delight with what she was doing in one, drawn out word.

  I came, squeezing my legs around her to get more, jostling as I rode her hand until I couldn’t anymore. In the end I was sweaty and sprawled out, exhausted. She lay down on me and looked at me from where she was on my chest.

  “What?” I asked, looking down.

  “You’ve never woken up like that,” she said. “That was new...” She turned her lips into my skin and kissed me lovingly.

  “It’s never happened before. That was the first time.” I put my hands at her temples and ran my fingers back through her hair. “I got all hot and bothered and I guess it was too much. Is it okay that I had that dream though? You’re not unhappy in any way that …. She was there?”

  “No,” she laughed lightly, kissing my skin and loving me. “It’s just a dream, baby,” she said. “A very sexy dream. I’m a little envious though.”

  “You are? Why? Because you didn’t have it?” I laughed and poked her side. “You had a starring role though. Your tongue action was absolutely killing me.”

  “Would you want that?” She asked, moving up my body and licking my neck all hot and slow.

  “You licking me?”

  “No,” she said. “The whole dream.”

  “I just want you.” I said. “I don’t know why I had that dream and I can’t really analyze it without distance. What do you think?”

  “I think it was sexy,” she said, tugging down my neck with her teeth. “And I think it’s okay,” she whispered, trying to calm herself on top of me. “We don’t have to analyze everything.”

  “True.
” I wanted her to bite me harder but I didn’t want to ask. “How much did it turn you on when I was telling you the dream?”

  “I’ll just let you guess,” she said, placing her teeth on my neck and biting again a bit harder, this time with a bit of a growl.

  “Mmmmm,” I moaned and turned my head so she could get closer. “I’m going to guess a fair amount. I love it when you do that.”

  “I text her a bit while you were in the shower,” she said. “I just wanted to know why she was asking you about all that.”

  “And what did she say?” I hugged her close and sighed with contentment. I finally felt better.

  “She basically called me a delicate flower,” Olivia said, resting completely. “She said I shouldn’t ask people to hurt me because the wrong kind of person really might.”

  “I wouldn’t say a delicate flower. You’re not that sensitive. Well, you don’t have to ask anyone else to hurt you ever because you’ve got me forever.”

  I hummed, thinking about that. “I wish tomorrow was my birthday.”

  “Yeah?” She asked. “And what would you do?”

  “Get the best present ever,” I said, smiling at her. “You.”

  She sighed, as if the happiness hurt. “You’re too perfect, baby…” She whispered.

  “I’m not perfect. Just normal, crazy me. You’ve got Avery colored glasses on.” I patted her shoulder and smiled, closing my eyes.

  “I wanna marry you so much,” Olivia quietly rasped.

  “That’s what I want for my birthday,” I replied.

  “I felt like shit today at that lunch. They were asking me about our plans and I realized I was so scared of making them that we didn’t have them. It was that feeling again like it’s not real. My heart just sunk in my chest. Sometimes when we’re off and fighting each other I get so scared.”

  “I’m sorry. So sorry that you felt like that. That you do feel like that, that’s part of why I brought it up though. I’ve felt the same way a few times and I want to make plans. I want to do that with you. I want it to be perfect but I know that perfect is a relative term and no matter what we do it will be perfect. At least, that’s what I feel. So, can we plan? My birthday. Will you marry me then?”

  “You just made my heart stutter,” she said nearly breathless. She pulled my hand up to her chest and let me see how fast her heart was beating. “I know it was my fault,” she said. “I just didn’t want to pressure you. I thought it’d be better. I was stupid… I’m stupid a lot. I think I was just scared that something would happen, that you wouldn’t want me,” Olivia started to cry. “I’m sorry,” she said sadly. “I think I’m really tired. I shouldn’t be talking right now.”

  “No, you’re talking is good. We’ve both been really stressed and I’ve been an idiot, trying to deal with stuff without telling you and it all went wrong. I’m sorry. I just really want this. I’m serious about not letting you go ever, you know that, right?”

  I sometimes wondered if she had moments like I did with her. If she thought I’d just not be able to love her the same way. I didn’t care that we had a lot of future in front of us.

  “I can’t see ten years from now but I know what I want. That’s never changed from the second you proposed. I want it more now even than I did then,” I explained.

  “I just love you so much, baby,” she shook. “I’m just scared. I just get so scared.”

  “We both get scared but fear doesn’t have to stop us. So, it’s set, right?” I looked at her. “We can start talking about what we want to do and tell our parents?”

  “Yes,” she said in an exhale. “Yes,” she said again. “Please.”

  “Thank you,” I said, pulling her up to kiss her. “Thank you.”

  I was going to burst, die and freak out in a good way all at the same time. “Ha! I knew we’d have a spring wedding.”

  “Shhh,” she said, moving up on me and kissing me through her emotion. “I need you kissing me,” she whispered.

  “Yes, ma-” She cut me off by kissing me again and I let her, enjoying every second of it. Whatever bullshit happened today, this moment was worth it.

  “I don’t think I can sleep now.” I wiggled a little in the bed.

  “What do you wanna do?” She asked, trying to simmer. She was sleepy and weepy and sort of desperate right now.

  “I dunno. You have any ideas?” I wanted to shout from the rooftops.

  “I just want you to kiss me all day,” she said, tugging on my neck and laying her head down. “You mean the wedding though right? All I want is to say yes and have it mean yes. I don’t even care where just as long as it isn’t a fucking courthouse.”

  “No, I meant right now. You can kiss me forever right now. I will bend time for you,” I said, feeling stupid and cheesy.

  I kissed her again, pulling her up. I put her hands on my face and put my hands in her hair.

  “I love you,” I murmured.

  She seemed to both laugh and cry as she shook her head and kissed me again. “I love you,” she whispered back desperately. “I love you, I love you, I love you. Just kiss me, please,” she begged, needing me.

  “Mmm,” I did. I kissed her again. I loved her so much it hurt.

  When she responded it made it even easier for me to get lost in her. Even when I was asleep earlier it wasn’t deep or long. I would have woken up several times, maybe even gone out and watched TV if I hadn’t woken Olivia up.

  If she had slept through it I wouldn’t have had that conversation. There were so many moments in life where it would have been so easy to miss or hit something with timing. I was happy for the first time all night.

  Chapter 8

  Olivia

  We didn’t sleep long. When I woke to her like that I was mostly surprised but I didn’t mind.

  Pleasure was good.

  Pleasure could be tied with happiness.

  I liked that…

  If I could find a way to fill Avery’s thoughts with good things I’d feel a whole lot better about myself. I loved her so much...

  Around 4:30 in the morning I finally decided that maybe we had kissed enough.

  For so long I’d been wanting to be a part of her. When she kissed me like that I felt like it was finally true. We must’ve kissed for hours though. I knew that was my request and not hers. I was always such a thief when it came to kissing. I wanted it to never stop. I could be so hungry.

  Realizing, I forced myself to become a normal considerate human being.

  I convinced Avery to go to morning practice since she was all energized. I even got dressed and dropped her off.

  “What are you gonna do?” She’d asked.

  “Probably get coffee,” I said back lovingly.

  I was going to read a few things and see what I could learn. I knew before we’d even gone to sleep that I was going to approach the counselor at school and ask about PTSD and what I should know.

  There were things I could do that I hadn’t yet done. Books I could read, therapists I could see.

  For months I was so lost in my love for Avery that I had no idea what I’d let us individually become. I’d helped her to drown basically and I needlessly let myself become her sad little pet. And now we were back and I could help and I wanted to be good for her now even more than before.

  It was a tricky thing, that knowledge. To know you’re ready to change.

  Just like Avery wanting to be good at basic Calculus. The fight was both pointless and everything. I knew we would always have new hurdles. So much of our time had been spent on the darkness in our lives. I wanted the light more than ever now. I wanted to be able to see her laugh more, make her smile.

  I drove to my favorite cafe and ordered an Americano and a muffin so I could just get a table and zone out.

  Right into reading I hit something extremely important. It’s weird how you can know something’s true but until someone else says it you’re sort of skeptical and resistant to really believe.

  “It�
��s hard not to take the symptoms of PTSD personally, but it’s important to remember that a person with PTSD may not always have control over his or her behavior.”

  Reading it gave it so much more weight somehow.

  I thought of the lake, the street, and that party…

  When Avery ran off and accidentally hurt herself, she always said those outcomes were never intentional.

  I felt dark in my booth thinking all these things so early in the morning.

  I knew the school counselor would probably only be available during school hours so I had to wait.