RENEGADE FIRE

by Jaxson Kidman

  She literally fucking appeared.

  I had to a do a double take, figuring she would become someone else.

  Nah, that wasn’t happening.

  Better yet, she was staring right back at me. Our eyes locked and there was no denying what the fuck was happening in that moment. We were going back. To the days when I’d catch bugs and kill them and flick the guts at her. To when I’d scare the hell out of her in any way I could. But there were other times though. Times nobody really knew about. When we’d talk and things would be okay. In a way she was the only person I ever trusted in life. Even though she’d say something nice and then I’d put gum in her hair just for the hell of it.

  Now her grandmother was fucking suffering from Alzheimer’s and the look in her eyes told me that life picked up on the picking on her where I left off.

  I goddamn hated myself in that moment. It’s why I ran with a bunch of renegades. We were able to ride fast and free, demons all around us, carrying bags of guilt that no honest man could carry for the rest of their lives.

  I had no fucking clue how long we stared at each other. And the only reason I stopped was because one of my boys came to the bar and hit me with an elbow. My hand smacked my beer and spilled some of it.

  “Fuck,” I yelled.

  “Whoa,” Niko said. “You daydreaming or what? Got pussy on the brain?”

  “What’s happening, brother?” I asked.

  From the corner of my eye I kept looking at her. Fucking Willow.

  “Just getting a drink. Need a breather for the night,” I said.

  “I hear you. I need a woman for the night,” Niko said.

  Luka strutted over, still holding a pool stick. He let out a little whistle and eyed me. “We got some eyes on us.”

  “Who?” I asked.

  At the other pool table were two guys. Clean cut, nice pants, t-shirts tucked in. They looked something out of a 60’s high school movie thing, but we all knew who they were. They were guys well connected up north. I wouldn't necessarily call them part of the mafia, but it was pretty damn close as far as how they ran their businesses. Everything they handled was completely legit, except for the back door and basement dealings.

  We’ve always had our problems with them. The prick eyeing us - well, me - was a guy named Johnny Mac. We went way back. I’m talking first grade. Johnny Mac had a crush on a girl named Susie. She was a tiny little cute thing with bright green eyes and thick curls. Those two things carried her to high school. From there, two more things developed and she ended up as the head cheerleader. She and star QB had their fun, but when he went off the football camp in the summer, Susie needed attention and she turned her sights to the bad boy in school. Me.

  Johnny Mac and I had our first fight in first grade. I took a look up Susie’s skirt. I got my ass whooped by my teacher, the principal, and my old man. The next day Johnny Mac called me an asshole so I punched him in the mouth. That set the pace for me and him to go at it a few times a year. When he started running favors for his slick crew and I joined the MC, our little guy fight turned into something deeper.

  A month ago we knocked off a truck that Johnny Mac was supposed to get. We intercepted, rerouted the fucking driver, and ended up getting a nice kickback from the trucking company who had called us for a favor or two.

  Johnny Mac tossed his pool stick to the table and folded his arms. He had skinny ass arms with a tattoo of a cross on his forearm. His size wasn’t something to really fuck with, but his mind was completely fucked.

  “What’s the plan?” Niko asked.

  “Fuck them,” I said. I killed off my beer. “As far as I’m concerned, we’re done with the night. If J Mac and his boys want to talk, they know where to find us.”

  “I’ll keep a steady eye, brother,” Luka said. “I’m in the mood to fight and fuck.”

  I eyed Luka. “You gonna fuck J Mac after you fight him?”

  Niko snorted and laughed.

  “Fuck yourself,” Luka said. “Maybe I’ll take the one across from us that’s eye humping the shit out of me.”

  I looked and saw Willow still staring.

  I stood up.

  “You go near her, Luka, and I’ll cut your dick off,” I said.

  Neither Luka or Niko laughed at that comment. It was because I wasn’t lying.

  I took one step away from them, knowing damn well I was stepping into a fire.

  Not with Johnny Mac… but with Willow.

  chapter nine

  (willow)

  *THEN*

  I saw him crouched down in the corner of the empty lot next to his house. There used to be a family there, a long time ago. They were mean people. Their kids were dirty and had no teeth and cursed a lot. Cops came and took the kids away. Then they came and took the parents. Teenagers used to party there and one night in January it burned down. It snowed the night the house was on fire. I remember standing with Mama on the porch of our house. She was drinking and laughing, saying we should get close to the house on fire to get warmth because Grammie couldn’t afford to pay for any more oil for the house.

  The house was demolished and the lot stayed empty.

  I knew crossing the street and approaching Gage was a risk. He was often moody and always an asshole to me.

  I was thirteen. I was almost an adult. I had things happening to me. The way I felt. You know, every month… Not to mention other changes happening to my body. I had boobs. Not big boobs like other girls in school, but still. It counted for something.

  As I approached, I felt my mouth go dry. My heart started to race. Even as a teenager Gage was big and strong. I made a noise that was supposed to be me saying his name and Gage stood up. He towered over me. He turned and the definition of his arms in his shirt was crazy. Right then I felt something happen inside me.

  Gage was… ohmygod… Gage was kind of sexy.

  He blinked fast. “What the fuck do you want?”

  “Hey. Sorry. I thought you were…” Crying. “… hurt.”

  “I’m not hurt.”

  “What are you doing?”

  Gage pointed.

  I stepped forward, getting next to him. He smelled of sweat and body odor. Other guys in school wore cologne now. Gage didn’t. I wasn’t sure he even had deodorant. I felt bad for him, you know? I was in a bad spot but I had Grammie. Gage had nobody.

  I looked at what Gage had been pointing at.

  It was a dead rabbit.

  I cringed.

  “I had been watching him.”

  “Watching him?”

  “Yeah. He’d be out here all the time. I was getting closer to touching him. I wanted to pet him.”

  I slowly looked up at Gage. He was really upset about it. He looked like he was going to cry. I took a chance and reached for his hand. My fingertips barely touched him and I stopped right there.

  “He was always alone,” Gage said. “I wondered if he had a family. Or was trying to find a family. But he was always in this yard. I was looking for him today and…”

  “Wow, Gage,” I said. “I’m so sorry.”

  I started to move my hand over his. I couldn’t believe I was actually trying to hold Gage’s hand. But in that moment I felt something for him. Like we were actually connecting.

  “Whatever,” Gage said. He stepped away from me. “It doesn’t fucking matter.”

  He then swung his foot and kicked the dead rabbit.

  That made my stomach flip.

  “Gage…”

  He looked back at me. “Go home, Willow. I didn’t ask you to come over here. Why the fuck would I want to talk to you?”

  “Don’t be…”

  Gage took out a pack of gum. “I see your hair is getting long again. Maybe some gum will help with that. Get a nice buzz cut for summer.”

  “You’re a jerk.”

  “Ouch. That hurt.”

  I started to back away from him. I shook my head. “I can’t s
tand you sometimes.”

  “I can’t stand you all the time,” Gage said. “Go home to your grandmother.”

  “Go home to your parents!” I shouted.

  I saw the flash of anger in Gage’s eyes. I had gotten to him. He crumbled up the entire pack of gum and had both hands into fists. I feared if I hung around he was going to run after me and maybe actually hurt me.

  Would Gage actually do that?

  Sadly, I didn’t have the guts to stick around.

  So I ran away. I ran to the back of my house and sat on the back steps and cried. I cried so hard. I cried because it seemed like Gage was about to show real emotion but then held back and turned mean.

  I hated him.

  Just about as much as I liked him.

  chapter ten

  (willow)

  *NOW*

  “He’s coming over here,” Claire said. “Look at him.”

  I saw Gage stand up. He said something to his buddies and then took a step.

  My body froze and then I stood up. I backed up, half tempted to just bolt to the door and make a run for it. Run to my car. Drive to Grammie’s. Tell Deb I couldn’t do it and that I couldn’t help Grammie. Then I could get back into my car and get the hell out of Bishop.

  It all seemed so easy, just like I had done before.

  But there was no chance of that happening.

  I was a grown woman. I had been a woman last time I encountered Gage but now I was a grown woman. I had my own thoughts, feelings, and I could handle myself. I could stand up to Gage, if I needed to do so. We weren’t kids anymore. We weren't teenagers. None of that old stuff mattered.

  “You look nervous,” Claire said.

  “Just been a long time,” I said. “This is why I didn’t want to go out. No offense to you.”

  “None taken,” Claire said. “Why don’t we just go then? Come on. I’ll meet you at your grandmother’s. We can finish our night there. Is that okay?”

  I looked at Claire and nodded. I was desperate to get out of the bar. I felt claustrophobic, like the room was getting smaller with each step Gage took.

  His eyes were locked right to me. He would probably chase me down outside and force me to talk to him. Just like he used to do. Talk to me. Pull me in. Then do something to hurt my feelings.

  I thought I had my chance to get out of there. Claire said we were going to slip through the kitchen. If we made a straight line through, we’d be fine. For a second I felt like I was some criminal trying to dunk out of the way of the police. It was insane.

  Then everything exploded.

  Some guy at the other pool table jumped out in front of Gage’s path. He put a hand out and Gage quickly grabbed his hand and twisted it. The entire atmosphere in the bar changed. Everything got tense and almost dead quiet. It was only a few seconds and what felt like no reaction from anyone.

  Then the guy reached back and pulled out a knife.

  He took a swipe at Gage.

  The bar erupted into a wild scene.

  I wasn’t sure if Gage got stabbed at first but then he came around with a right punch that sent the guy up and over the pool table. He turned, eyes straight to mine, and he pointed. He opened his mouth to say something and someone cracked him in the back with a pool stick. Gage’s face twisted in pain as he stumbled forward. He spun around and jumped at his attacker, driving him back into the wall.

  Everyone started to shout. Some calling for Gage to kill someone. Some calling for the other guys to kill Gage and his buddies. The bartender bellowed he was calling the police.

  Claire grabbed my hand and made a line for the front door.

  We skipped the kitchen exit and ran through the parking lot together. When we got to our cars, we paused for a second to look back at the bar.

  Claire started to laugh.

  I was still in complete shock.

  The last place I worked at was a very upscale place and there was never anything like a bar fight there. Ever.

  “Happens all the time here,” Claire said. “Don’t worry about it. By the time the cops show up everyone will be gone.”

  “Who… what…”

  “Remember the guy from high school, Johnny Mac?”

  “Yeah,” I said.

  “That’s the one who attacked Gage. They have a long standing thing. You better get driving if you want to escape Gage.”

  I took the time to hug Claire and tell her how much I needed to see her. We agreed to do it again soon but at a different place, maybe even out of Bishop to escape the clutches of the Bitter Aces MC. Which, by the way, was the motorcycle club Gage was in. I didn’t even realize that until Claire said it.

  I drove away, checking the mirror, half expecting to see Gage following me on his motorcycle.

  Nope, he wasn’t behind me.

  But that didn’t mean the night was through.

  chapter eleven

  (gage)

  *NOW*

  When we cleared out of the bar, my jaw hurt, my knuckles were swollen, and I ripped off my leather cut to check and see if the prick had stabbed me.

  Pulling a fucking knife on me?

  That was a shit move. That was a kill move. That progressed this beef into a war, whether Johnny Mac liked it or not.

  Niko grabbed the back of my shirt. “Let’s go. We ride.”

  The sirens were in the distance, not that it fucking mattered. We took care of the town and the PD took care of us. If we were there for the fight when they showed up, they’d detain us but let us go by morning. Trust me, I’d spent plenty of nights in a jail cell in Bishop. Now there were plenty of times when guys in the MC had to go prison. Sometimes weeks. Sometimes months. Sometimes they went in and never came out.

  But for a bar fight?

  Nothing would happen.

  Johnny Mac and his crew had taken off already. Their two door souped up rides, silently flying through the night, off to another bar or hideout where they could throw back shots of scotch and complain about the MC.

  That’s just how things went in Bishop.

  I grabbed my leather cut off the ground and threw it on. The reaper had been after me but let me slide tonight. One good slash from a knife like that and I would have bled out on the floor of the damn bar.

  Niko and Luka were on their rides, waiting for me. They were waiting for me to give command. They were table members but not as high up as me.

  “Just go back to the clubhouse,” I said.

  “We’ll follow you,” Luka said.

  “Fuck no. I’m not going back there tonight.”

  “You can’t ride alone,” Niko said. “Not with what happened. They could be circling…”

  “Fuck it,” I said. “Just go back. I’m ending my night the way I want. J Mac and his crew aren’t going to dictate what I do. Got that?”

  “Brother, Sid is going to be pissed,” Luka said.

  “He’ll get over it. Nothing happened. It was a personal spat.”

  “Bullshit,” Niko said. “That’s because of the truck…”

  “They were hanging and shooting pool while you were there,” I said. “Soon as I walked in, the stakes got higher. If they wanted a fight with you two goons they would have picked it.”

  “I’d have fucking killed them,” Luka said.

  “I know you would have,” I said. “Now go back to the clubhouse and fill Sid in. Don’t ad-lib anything. Tell the truth. Have the prospects on guard all night. I’ll be around for breakfast.”

  They knew better than to argue with me. Nobody would win an argument with me. Shit, even Sid had a hard time with me many times. He’d knocked me around more than once, but if I had a point to prove I made sure I did so in style.

  I waited for Luka and Niko to ride away.

  I started to my motorcycle and cruised around to the front. In the distance I saw the flashing cherries and knew I had to back through some of dirt roads. A little risky riding at night. And t
here was the possibility that J Mac and his crew could have been waiting for me.

  I should have gone to the clubhouse. That would have been the smart thing to do. But I wasn’t smart. My mother and father told me that all the time.

  So I did the dumb thing.

  I ended up on the street where Willow’s grandmother lived.

  chapter twelve

  (willow)

  *NOW*

  Deb was in bed. Grammie was in the downstairs bedroom. She wasn’t really trusted with stairs anymore. I was going to take the couch. I didn’t bother telling Deb anything that had happened.

  Instead I ended up on the back deck with a cup of tea, looking to the starry sky. Being in a city in Georgia I didn’t get to see stars like here. We were isolated and street lights were saved only for the main streets in town.

  The stars looked brilliant.

  I smiled.

  I sipped my tea.

  Then I heard the sound of a motorcycle engine.

  It revved, got louder, then started to quiet until it was an almost soothing sound.

  The problem? The sound wasn’t going away.

  I stepped down from the deck and walked along the side of the house. Grammie bought the house three years ago, finally getting out of the hell hole she lived in for years. There was some kind of pollution settlement with the county and she was given a decent check to leave the house. Her hopes were to have great-grandbabies running around but that was a dream that died a long time ago.

  Shit, I felt guilty for letting her down.

  At the front of the house I saw the motorcycle in the road. The bucket helmet on his head. He stared at me, everything black, blending in the dark street.

  He gave a nod and didn’t move.

  I looked at the house. If the motorcycle woke up Deb…

  I suddenly felt like I was in high school, trying to sneak around with boys.

  I couldn’t believe what I did next as I put my hand up and made a motion for Gage to go around the house and to the back alley. That’s where the garage was. There were a lot of back alleys in Bishop. That’s where a lot of guys like Gage caused trouble when they were kids. It’s where I held a boy’s hand for the first time. It’s where a boy kissed me for the first time.