RENEGADE FIRE

by Jaxson Kidman

  And now I walked toward the back alley as a grown woman, my heart racing, stomach jumping, wondering exactly what in the hell I was trying to do.

  Maybe Gage was here to apologize for everything.

  Probably not.

  Just as long as he didn’t put gum in my hair.

  He climbed off the motorcycle and took his helmet off. He ran a hand through his short black hair and did it with such a smooth and casual swagger, I felt the lower pit of my stomach heating up.

  Yeah, right… like that would ever happen with Gage.

  I stood next to the garage, under a small motion sensor light that was now turned on. It wasn’t bright but cast enough light to see Gage. He was in his own spotlight, sort of like the way he always with me.

  “I can’t believe you’re back here,” he said.

  That was his first words to me. His voice was deeper, richer, a man’s voice.

  “Neither can I,” I said.

  He pointed toward the house. “It’s that bad?”

  I swallowed hard. “It’s that bad.”

  “Shit. I’m sorry.”

  For what, Gage? Huh?

  “It’s life,” I said.

  He stepped toward me. “Speaking of life… where’ve you been?”

  “Georgia,” I said.

  “Yeah? How’s it down there?”

  “Busy. I’m married with two kids. I’m an executive in marketing. I drive a beemer…”

  “No shit?” Gage asked. “I always knew…”

  “No,” I said and laughed. “None of that’s true. I was waitressing for years, Gage. It’s all I’ve ever been good at. I got sick of it down there and when Deb called and said Grammie was really bad I figured it’s my turn to take care of her. That’s what she did for me for all those years. Put bandages on my cuts when someone would trip me or tie my laces together. Helped to try and cut my hair the best she could when someone put gum in it. Helped to keep me calm when someone made comments about my legs or boobs…”

  Gage grinned. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Fuck, he looked good doing that. Everything about him looked good. Those boyish dimples when he smiled were still there, which was sexier now that he was a chiseled man.

  “Yeah, about all that…”

  “Wait a second,” I said. “When I told you that about me you said I always knew… what did you always know?”

  Gage took a drag and had such a natural calm to himself it was almost addicting. He stood there and stared at me, narrowing his eyes. The way he stood there. The way he looked at me. The way his eyes devoured me.

  I started to get nervous.

  Slowly, he shook his head. “You never saw it the way I did.”

  “What?”

  Gage took another deep drag and then flicked the smoke as far down the alley as it could go. Mostly full, it would burn into the night and smell.

  As Gage closed the distance between us I started to shiver. I wasn’t sure if it was fear or excitement. Probably both.

  He put his right hand out and touched the garage.

  He was way too close to me.

  Way too fucking close.

  “You were meant for more than this fucking town, babe. I saw it in your eyes every damn time I looked at you. You had the chance to escape and run like hell. And you did. But now you’re back.”

  “Now I’m back,” I said.

  I reminded myself that I couldn’t be picked on now. We weren’t kids. We weren’t awkward teenagers. We were adults, separated by miles and years. Well, right then we were still at least separated by years.

  Nothing Gage could do…

  His left hand touched my hip, slamming me against the garage. I let out a gasp and Gage stole my breath with an unexpected kiss.

  Our lips collided and his tongue quickly darted into mine. I tasted all of him, the musky scent of his body to the roughness of the cigarette. Normally it would have been disgusting but this was Gage.

  I quickly threw my hands forward right to his stomach. My fingers dug, pressed, instantly memorizing how hard his stomach felt. He was cut with hard and perfect muscle. I felt him for two seconds too long and then pushed at him.

  I managed to shove him away.

  Gage inched back, breaking the delicious kiss, leaving me to quickly lick my lips. I tasted him. All of him. I felt the years pass through my body.

  Then my hands curled around his t-shirt, not wanting him to go too far away.

  “I’m just throwing this out…”

  I put my right foot up and kicked myself from the garage and into his arms. Gage grabbed me as our bodies slammed together. My breasts squished against the steel like touch of his chest. He easily lifted me up as the kiss picked up where it had left off. I tried to take control, but come on, this was Gage. There was no taking control.

  Proof of that came seconds later when he walked me right back to the garage, slamming me against it. I gasped but Gage’s mouth kept covered tight to mine. My hands hurried to the bottom of his shirt, demanding to feel those muscles in the flesh.

  I touched him, feeling the ripples of his stomach as he breathed.

  His tongue was perfect, working a sense of magic that pulsed down through the rest of my body, making me feel alive. I was wet, my panties tugging against my body. My desires were sparked to life as though Gage was a mad scientist and I was his experiment.

  No. Stop this.

  My sense of reality finally took hold just as Gage’s fingertips grazed my left breast. I hurried and turned my head, breaking the kiss. I gasped for air, let out a feeble No, and then pushed him away again.

  Gage stepped back, even offering to show his hands as though he were surrendering to my command.

  I looked at him. “What the fuck…”

  “I love the way your lips look right now,” he said so calm and cool.

  I threw my right hand out at him, smacking him across the face. “You’re such an asshole, Gage. You’ve always been.”

  He touched his cheek and smiled at me.

  Didn’t he feel pain at all?

  “You’re right,” Gage said. “I’ve always been an asshole. But I know what you’re doing back here, babe. And I know it’s going to be lonely. I’m just letting you know I’m right here.”

  “Oh yeah? You’re going to be my hero now?”

  “Nope. But when you need a drink and a good fuck, I’ll be waiting. One call away. The best night of your life. And not a single string attached… because I’m an asshole.”

  I felt the anger boiling inside me.

  Gage then simply just backed away and climbed onto his motorcycle. That’s why he came here? To tell me he wanted to have sex with me? Better yet, casual sex. The guy that picked on me my entire life…

  “I’ll see you around,” Gage said.

  I wanted to get him with a zinger but he started his motorcycle and took off down the alley.

  I stood there frozen in place. I couldn’t believe my mind. Half of it hated Gage and the other half tried to figure out the last time I had sex. Like I would ever actually call Gage for a booty call.

  The thought of it made me laugh.

  The thought of it also turned me on.

  chapter thirteen

  (gage)

  *NOW*

  I took a swift hit to the mouth from Sid. So much so that even a few days later the corner of my mouth was little roughed up still. That was fine. He had every right to want to knock me the hell out. We made a few calls to J Mac’s crew and made it known that any surprise attacks on the Bitter Aces would result in a war nobody wanted.

  That was days ago.

  For me, I was focused on something else.

  Fucking Willow.

  I had my fair share of women the last few nights but they were all just temporary. In, out, come, swallow, get the fuck out of my room. Not even sex. I hadn’t fucked a woman in over a week. That was a goddam record for me.

 
In the shower this morning, I looked at my thick cock and grabbed it. I shook it in my hand, wondering what the fuck I was doing. The thing was… if Willow was just cruising through town that was one thing. She’d done it before and I kept my distance from her. But she was here now. She was staying. Fuck, she was by herself, unless you counted her grandmother, who was terribly sick.

  I met up with Sid in the afternoon and he told me everything was settled with J Mac’s crew. Nothing but a misunderstanding. Sid had a way of wiggling around the truth and it’s what made him such a good Prez. I then had a beer with Gunner and called it a day. We had made our rounds throughout Bishop, had a full table meeting, and for once things seemed quiet.

  When that happened you had to take advantage of it.

  For most of us we’d just hit a bar or a strip club or just bring it all to the clubhouse and waste the night away with booze and willing women.

  I ended up on my ride and cruising through the streets again.

  Sitting at a red light, I saw a mother and her kid standing on the corner waiting to cross. I stood and waved them to cross while the normally busy intersection was clear to cross. She was carrying a bag of food and her son was jumpy and distracted, like a normal kid would.

  As they walked by my motorcycle, the mother looked at me and nodded. She had a little sadness in her eyes. Her kid then darted across her body and tried to get to my motorcycle. He was an inch from touching my ride so I throttled it. He jumped back and screamed, grabbing for his mother’s hand.

  The kid was upset. She looked pissed off.

  My light turned green and I rode off.

  Fucking kids. Fucking family. All that shit was sent to the wayside a long time ago.

  I cruised by Willow’s new place and saw her car out front. I couldn’t stop myself from checking on her. I turned the corner and ended up in the alley again. This time, I stopped before the house and climbed off my ride. Sneaking up on the house was probably stupid but whatever. Nothing wrong with making sure everyone was okay.

  I was at the garage and I heard voices.

  When I looked I saw Willow with her grandmother on the deck. The old woman sat in a chair holding a mug of coffee or tea. She looked so rough. But the worst part was seeing the way Willow looked at her. Standing there, on guard, waiting for something to go wrong.

  I took a step and thought about saying something to announce my arrival but then Willow reached for the mug. She got it out of her grandmother’s hand and then slipped her hands to her grandmother’s arm and helped her up. Her grandmother shuffled her feet as Willow kept her standing and moving.

  Goddamn, the sight started to get to me.

  It made me think of something I’d hadn’t thought of in a long time.

  The damn rabbit.

  “Jesus Christ,” I whispered as I stood there.

  When Willow got her grandmother to the door, she quickly looked back and looked right at me.

  She fucking knew I was there.

  Was she hiding her grandmother from me? Or was she protecting her grandmother from me?

  I stood there and lit up a fresh smoke.

  It took Willow a few minutes to come back outside. She hurried down the steps of the deck and walked toward me.

  “Hey, babe,” I said.

  She pointed to the cigarette and shook her head. “You do whatever you want, Gage, but don’t smoke around this house, okay? My grandmother is going through enough. She doesn’t need that in her body.”

  I had to admit - there was something sexy about Willow being so jumpy at me. Coming right at me like that.

  I stepped back into the alley and grinned. “There. I’m not on your property anymore.”

  “Are you fucking serious?” she asked. “You know what? Fuck this.”

  She turned and walked.

  I tossed my smoke to the ground and stomped on it once. Grinning still, I chased after Willow. Goddamn me for still wanting to fuck with her, right? This woman needed someone to care for her and there I was just trying to get a rise out of her.

  My hands grabbed her waist and I spun her around. She stumbled back and crashed into the deck. I put myself an inch from her body and stood there, towering over her.

  “Hey,” I said. “Sorry. Okay? I was just fucking around. I put it out. My bad. Okay?”

  “Yeah, fine. Whatever. Sorry. It’s been a rough day.”

  “Yeah?”

  “She’s having a hard time,” Willow said.

  I opened my mouth to say something and she burst into tears.

  Holy shit did she cry.

  The tears damn near squirted from her eyes. I was in shock for a few seconds as she cried like a damn baby.

  But then I grabbed her and pulled her in for a hug. Her hands went around me and clawed at my leather cut. I rubbed her back, trying to have it be as non-sexual as I could do it. It was hard not to throw a hard one though feeling Willow’s body pressed to mine. Especially since she was so vulnerable and crying.

  My right hand crept up and touched her hair.

  She pulled her hands around and made fists. She hit my chest, breaking us apart. Then she hit me two more times and started to shake her head.

  “No,” she said.

  She moved to the left and walked up the steps to the deck.

  I hurried after her, grabbed for her wrist and pulling her back around.

  “Hey,” I said. “It’s okay, babe. You can cry around me. I won’t bust on you for that. I swear. It’s not easy going through what you’re going through here. This is madness. You need relief. You need release.”

  “Sex?” Willow asked. “My heart is breaking and you’re talking about sex again?”

  “No. I’m not talking about sex, Willow. I’m talking about this. You crying. Opening up. Tell me. Talk to me.”

  “Why you?” she asked. “You hated me.”

  “I never hated you.”

  “You’re just going to do something to hurt me. Go away, Gage. Seriously. Don’t sneak around and mess with me.”

  “I’m not messing with you. I wanted to check on you.”

  “You checked. Like what you see?”

  I let out a laugh. “Okay, babe…”

  “I don’t get why you’re even messing around here.”

  “You’re back in town,” I said. “I don’t know what else to say. And I know that situation you’re in can’t be easy. So I had some time and I thought I’d ride by and see.”

  “Just like you’ve been riding by for the last how many days? What is this, Gage?”

  I had the words on the tip of my tongue but I didn’t need to screw with her heart any more than it already had been through fate because of her damn grandmother. Part of me just wanted her to accept my presence and let it all go. That was greedy of me.

  Before I could speak I saw the figure of an old woman in the glass door of the deck.

  “You have company,” I whispered. “I’ll go.”

  I squeezed Willow’s hand and ran my thumb over her wrist. I couldn’t believe it but my cock twitched. Shit, my cock had been jumpy from the second I grabbed her waist. The dorky girl I used to pick on was now becoming something of a fantasy in my mind.

  “Call me if you need anything,” I said. “I’m not fucking around, Willow.”

  I backed away and let her go.

  She hurried to the door and opened it.

  “Who is that?” her grandmother asked in a shaky voice.

  “Salesman,” Willow said. “Selling nothing we need.”

  I laughed to myself as I walked away.

  When I got to the alley I reached for my smokes. Then I stopped myself. I looked back and let out a sigh.

  I skipped a smoke and hopped on my ride and took off.

  I was going to spend the rest of the night in a drunk blur of pussy.

  The last thing I expected was for Willow to actually call me…

  chapter fourteen


  (gage)

  *THEN*

  I had no idea why the rabbit meant so much to me. Stupid little fucking thing. It showed up in the backyard as a baby. I thought it was a rat or something but it had cute little ears. I saved the rabbit and it stuck around. Or maybe it was a different rabbit. What the hell did I know?

  It loved the empty lot next door.

  I stood in the kitchen and watched my mother smoke a cigarette and peel carrots. The shavings of the carrots fell into the trash along with the ash of her cigarette.

  I waited patiently trying to stay hidden. If I came into view, I’d get slapped around.

  My old man called my mother a bitch from the living room.

  “Oh, fuck no!” she growled with the cigarette between her lips.

  She threw the peeler into the sink and then broke the carrot in half, plopping it into a pot of boiling water. She charged out of the kitchen and I hurried to the trash. I reached in and grabbed as many of the carrot peelings as I could.

  Then I hurried outside and to the corner of the empty lot.

  “Come on,” I whispered. “Please.”

  It took a few minutes but then I saw the rabbit.

  Chester.

  I named him Chester, okay? He was the only friend I really had. Unless you counted Willow. But Willow was a girl and she was so annoying. Who the hell could be so dirty and poor and want to be nice?

  Chester stared at me, his nose going wild. I opened my hand and held it out for him. I’d been trying so hard to get him to come to me. So I could pet him. So I could pick him up. I wanted to squeeze him and maybe even runaway with him. Or maybe I’d give him to Willow as a way to say sorry for being such a jerk to her.

  First, I needed to train Chester to trust me.

  The rabbit hopped toward me.

  Little by little he closed in on me.

  I tossed a few of the carrot shavings toward him. He jumped back.