Remember Me

by Roxanne Tully

  “She’s innocent.”

  “What do you mean by innocent?”

  “You know what I mean; she’s a new person in this world, she doesn’t know anything.”

  “No, she’s not an infant; she is your wife and has lived all the things Elizabeth had lived. She just doesn’t remember living it. She is no more innocent than you or I just because she doesn’t remember doing something. She is, at the end of the day, the Lizzy you keep referring to.”

  Matt stared at him for a long moment. “She doesn’t want her memory back,” he finally said.

  “That’s fear,” the doctor said without giving it so much of a thought.

  “I get that. But why?”

  “You tell me.”

  Matt jumped out of his chair, sliding it across the short end of the room. “I’m not here for a therapy session.”

  “Neither am I,” the doctor patiently argued. “I’m here to help Elizabeth. Is she getting worse?”

  “She remembers something.”

  “Something?”

  “Yes, it wasn’t exactly a memory. It was something that someone had said to her, my brother actually, and she remembered him telling her those same words.”

  “What were the words?”

  “What does it matter?”

  The doctor’s expression was perplexed. “It matters tremendously!”

  Matt rubbed his temples. “I don’t even remember.”

  “Yes, you do,” the doctor assured. “What’s the big deal, they’re just words.”

  And this was why Matt had been avoiding the doctor, regardless of how brilliant the magazines claimed he was. The guy was a real jerk.

  “‘Nothing good comes of keeping secrets’,” Matt muttered. He folded his arms over his chest. “That was it.”

  Dr. Tai sat back in his chair and stared at Matt as though he were, in fact, in a therapy session. “Fine,” the doctor briskly peeled his back off the chair and leaned forward. “Tell me what happened right before her accident.”

  “She was out shopping,” Matt replied.

  Another hard stare. “Mr. Owen, I do need you to realize that if it were an easy task bringing back an individual from lost memories, as severe as Elizabeth’s case, don’t you think you would have received a step-by-step in one of my voicemails? That being said, it’s easy to pick out the most uneventful thing that happened that day and move on.” He watched Matt for a moment before continuing. “You don’t have to tell me what it is,” he untwined his fingers and sat back in his chair, “but it would help.”

  In very few words, Matt managed to tell Dr. Tai the horrific thirty-six hours his wife had prior to her crash.

  Strangely, the doctor barely seemed surprised. “Thank you. That certainly helps.” After a short thought, the doctor looked up at him again. “I think I may know how to help.”

  Matt was ready for nearly anything. He needed her back. All of her. The woman who lied to protect what they had. The only woman he’d ever love and would always be grateful for.

  “Do you think I should tell her? Make her confront herself?”

  “Let’s take a different approach. Telling this to Liz won’t help. It might set her back, in fact. Hearing negativity about one’s life usually sets them into a state of denial and fear. Start with good truths that specifically have to do with your relationship. Liz is in there somewhere. Spend time with her, focus on what she focuses on and try to remember what it might be triggering,” he pushed off his chair again and leaned in. “Her mind is always being triggered, Mr. Owen, she just doesn’t stop to realize it. You need to pay attention and embrace it.”

  Chapter 36

  LIZ

  The light knock on the door was so faint, Liz thought she might have imagined it. She hesitated for a moment before striding to the door. It couldn’t have been Matt. Surely, he wouldn’t be back for at least another hour. She pulled the door open and saw the last person she expected. The questionable man from the party that Matt had later insisted was nothing to worry about.

  “Hello,” Clyde said, his mouth curving up a bit on one side. The gesture sent chills through her.

  “Hello Clyde.” She sincerely hoped it sounded natural. “Matt’s not home right now, so...” she half turned back to the living room as if to prove it. Something in her wanted him to leave immediately.

  “That’s okay,” he said lightly, yet effectively pushing the door open further. “I can wait.”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She turned to the man, now standing in her living room. For no known reason, her heart started thumping. The only men she’d been alone with were people she knew and trusted. Clyde...was in no uncertain terms a man to be trusted. Of that she was sure. She supposed she should feel some comfort after Matt insisted he was a friend. But not enough.

  The man wasn’t leaving. He plopped down on her sofa, instead. She imagined what Matt, Ben or even Megan would have said to Clyde at this moment. “Clyde, I don’t have time for any childish banter today, I’ll let Matt know you stopped by.” She motioned out the door.

  Clyde stared at her so hard she felt violated. And then mortally frightened. He relaxed his shoulders. “I know you’re doubting my sincerity Lizzy, but I can assure you I’m trustworthy.”

  “You’re right. I do doubt your sincerity.” Feeling more like herself.

  “Why, though? Your husband trusts me,” he paused and leaned forward. “Enough to tell me what’s really going on with you.”

  Her eyes flared.

  “I know you don’t remember me…or anything for that matter.”

  Liz hoped the shiver that shot up her spine and disbursed in her temples wasn’t in any way visible.

  “Matt told me,” he continued when she froze.

  “He told you?”

  He laughed. “It’s okay. I’m a friend.”

  She swallowed back her fury. “When?”

  “Last night. I could tell something was off about you. So, he told me.” He shrugged, as if it were such a simple fact.

  She forced herself a quick recovery and lifted her head. “Well then you can understand why I don’t feel comfortable with you here and I’d appreciate it if you left.”

  He stood. “Of course. I certainly don’t want to make you uncomfortable. And hey for what it’s worth I’m glad you and Matt were able to work things out.”

  She frowned on instinct. The devilish grin forming on his face told her he caught it, and she immediately regretted her slip.

  He eyed her, interestingly. “Man, that must have been hard for you both. Matt especially.”

  She simply raised her eyebrows and looked away. Still holding the door open for him.

  “And talk about timing,” he pressed with exaggerated amazement. “I mean it truly is one for the books.” He waited a beat then went on. “But you guys seemed to have overcome that little…well…colossal road bump. A power couple indeed.”

  “We do our best.”

  “No one could survive a secret like that.”

  She swallowed and held back so much, she didn’t even know where she’d even begin. “I suppose not.”

  He circled around her, while she was panting silently in place. Her chest heaved. Why was she so afraid of what he was saying?

  He leaned into her ear and whispered. “You don’t know what I’m talking about, do you?”

  She turned her head to face him beside her. Her eyes surely throwing daggers at the man. “Not a clue.”

  In a matter of sixty seconds, Clyde managed to completely destroy Liz with his words. An accusation she refused to believe. And she wouldn’t have if it weren’t for the undeniable tension between her husband and his brother. She wanted to scream, cry, accuse the man before her of being a liar. But all she could manage through blurred vision was to open the door and ask the wicked man to leave. She barely acknowledged the look on his face when he walked out, but she imagined that he left quite pleased.

  Her chest was on fire as she made her way
to the sofa. She was disoriented and the usual dull pain in her head was now blindingly sharp. It was unbearable, the pain. Which ached more, her chest or her head, she couldn’t tell. She was being swallowed by short memories. Flashes of Matt being angry and seemingly resentful for no known reason. Everything was becoming clear despite her head spinning like the globe. She wondered what would possess someone to act like they loved them while being utterly disgusted. She managed to get up the stairs. There was no way she could stay in that apartment.

  Chapter 37

  MATT

  It was going to be different from here on. He was going to do everything in his power to bring Liz back. He’d let it go on too long, relishing the absence of a woman who had betrayed and hurt him. Appreciated the new and innocent wife he had in her place for however long he chose. But it was wrong. He was keeping an innocent woman hostage from getting her life back. Sickened at his own actions and betrayal, he closed his eyes to pull himself together before walking back into his apartment. A deep breath helped stabilize him before entering. He knew what he would do.

  He’d apologize for demoralizing her existence earlier. He couldn’t understand how he thought it would help. Lizzy wouldn’t hear him. She was never that easy.

  Instead, he was crushing the heart of her placeholder, a woman who only had him to turn to and who opened her heart to him. He’d make it up to her. He’d make her see that it’s her he loves in every way that counts, and she wasn’t going away, she would just remember more of what they’ve shared.

  The moment he walked into their apartment, the air seemed thick, and dread settled within him, his stomach locked tight as Liz emerged from the den.

  Could the words he had left her with this morning have changed her? Trigger her?

  She wore dark jeans and a black blouse. The colors were off for her. Since he’d brought her home from the hospital, she had seemed to prefer all of Lizzy’s bright colored sun dresses.

  “How was your visit with my doctor?” Her tone sent chills through him.

  “Productive,” he responded without looking into her eyes. “We, uh…discussed some things that might trigger your memory,” he added.

  “Like what?”

  Matt looked up at her. “I don’t know, I guess we’ll know it when we come across it. I just want you to focus on the good things.”

  “Is that what you’ve been trying to do? Steer me from things I may not want to remember?” she asked curiously.

  Matt narrowed his eyes at her. “Would that be a terrible thing?”

  “Of course not,” she started as he turned to go up the stairs. “What would be terrible is if you would keep me from remembering anything at all,” her voice turned icy.

  Matt turned his head back slowly to face her. A new stranger, not the innocent, curious and open-hearted woman he’d brought home weeks ago. This woman was accusing, demanding, bitter, and frigid.

  “What’s going on?”

  “I’ve been trying to ask you the same thing for weeks, Matt. And you refused to give me an honest answer. You could barely look at me, blew me off with short answers to my eager questions, pretending to be preoccupied with deep concern, when you were just trying to figure out how to tell me our marriage was over,” her voice grew louder and angrier.

  She didn’t have her memory back.

  No.

  This still wasn’t Lizzy. This was a new side to her placeholder, as he’d recently began to refer to her. It was an easy tell. No matter how angry Liz would get, she always had a soft glow behind her eyes. Eyes that carried life, love and warmth within them.

  The eyes he was looking into now were cold, hateful and hurt. The kind of hurt where you realize everything you’d been told was a lie and you really have no one to turn to. His wife would know that could never be true.

  “Did my brother tell you?” he whispered after a moment.

  “Was I the thing he…borrowed, Matt?” her voice breaking.

  He glanced around as if there were a place he could escape her confused and hurting eyes. He swallowed, then returned her glare. “You answer my question first.”

  “No. Clyde did,” she stated immediately.

  “When?”

  “It’s my turn,” she said through gritted teeth.

  “Why was he here?” Matt shouted, his anger strong enough to overpower hers.

  “You told me he was a friend, he stopped by and I let him in,” she argued defensively.

  Matt ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, then placed them on his hips and took a breath, an effort to control himself around her. Something he’d been struggling with a lot lately.

  “When did he stop by?” he demanded, glaring at the floor.

  “While you were out, but what does it matter? You’re still not answering my question.” She took a step toward him.

  He looked at her. His expression hard. “I wouldn’t put it that way. But yes…you were.”

  She fell back into the sofa behind her. “And you just found out?” she whispered.

  The knot tightening in his stomach, he nodded, “Two days before your accident.”

  She held her hand to her chest. “Did I tell you?” a doubt in her voice.

  He looked away. “No. You didn’t.”

  Liz’s eyes wandered for a long moment. Matt could practically see the thoughts running through her head. She stood, deeper anger shaking through her and she held her hands up, “Why did you bring me here?”

  “What?”

  “Why am I here? she demanded. “You walked out on me, didn’t you? That’s what it was. That’s what I felt, wasn’t it? Back at your parent’s house.”

  He didn’t answer. Instead, he swallowed some words that wouldn’t help and held his gaze at the coffee table between them.

  “Why did you bring me here?” she yelled, gesturing at the apartment.

  “Because you needed me,” he answered truthfully.

  Her eyebrows shot up. “You felt sorry for me?”

  “No, you’re still my wife.”

  “You made me believe that you loved me, that we have something so amazing, why?” she cried.

  Matt’s temper was quickly being tested. “Because we did have something amazing.”

  “So, what happened? Tell me everything, I need to know.”

  “I’ll tell you everything you need to know,” he insisted.

  “That’s not exactly what I asked,” her voice warry.

  This wasn’t going to be easy. “It’s what you’re going to get,” he snapped. Lying to her was no longer an option. And he was surprised to find himself relieved. He couldn’t bear to do any more of it.

  She stilled, her dark eyes guarded and angry.

  He couldn’t stand seeing her so vulnerable. At that moment, he could sense how alone she felt. He wanted so much to comfort her, but it was too late for that.

  “You don’t need to know what happened,” he softened. “That’s not a part of your life you need to concern yourself with,” he took a small careful step in her direction. “Yes, okay, I was angry and I continued to be after your accident, when I should have just...” his voice broke. “I should have pushed all that aside and been the man you needed, the husband you needed. Instead of…making you question my love.”

  Tears escaped her eyes. “Do you love me?”

  “No,” he crept toward her. “I don’t know you. I love my wife, the woman I built memories and trust with. When we both went to Dr. Tai and he was hypnotizing you…you started to tense and cry and panic and I just—I couldn’t do it that way. I couldn’t let it all come crashing down on you,” he stepped closer. “That’s when I decided to help you myself, in my own way. No one in this world knows you better than I do, Lizzy. But then we got home and I realized—I wasn’t ready. If you remembered everything, I’d have to…” he trailed off.

  “End it…officially.”

  “No,” he said abruptly and almost defensively. “I’d have to…make a decision. I wasn’t read
y. Especially since…”

  “You were falling for the innocent stranger?”

  He stared at her.

  “Yeah—no one in this world knows you better than I do, either, Matt.”

  Raising his voice, he was inches from her. “It wasn’t easy for me either Liz. I know why you lost control and crashed. Your whole world was falling apart, but so was mine! You had it easy; you made a mistake and all you needed was a ‘forgive and forget’. Well I was the one who needed to do that. I was the one who needed to find a way to live with it, to look at you and say to not only you–but to myself that it was okay,” he turned and ran his fingers through his hair.

  Tears rolled down her cheek and there was nothing he could say or do to stop them.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, frozen in place.

  He stepped toward her, prepared to hold her and tell her she had nothing to be sorry for. None of this was her fault. He needed her to believe her innocence. He needed her to see that he was only here to help her. To save her. He reached out to her and she pulled away, a hateful expression in her eyes.

  “Don’t touch me. You brought me here because you felt obligated. Because I had no place else to go,”

  “Liz,” he began to protest.

  She ran off up the stairs.

  Chapter 38

  LIZ

  Liz ran into their bedroom, frantic and angry. Her chest ached when he reached for her downstairs because she wanted him to reach her. She needed him to. But with all the strength she had left, she pulled away. She couldn’t do that to him. After he’d put up with having to look at the woman who betrayed him, without confrontation, without expressing his hurt and anger. She would save him from any more of it.

  She dragged out a small rolling suitcase she’d finished packing before he got home. She would give him the space he needed. Maybe one day soon, she’d wake up remembering everything and maybe Lizzy was the type of person to come crying and begging for forgiveness.

  Somehow she doubted that.

  There was a place she could go. You can never go wrong with family, right? The only other person in the world she had left.