I’d peeked around the corner of the dining room, watching the spectacle and wanting so much to run to him. The wound was too fresh then. Now, it still hurt but our distance was starting to triumph that pain. In our months together, he had become a part of my soul and now a peace was missing.
I took a shuddering breath, hugging the supposed Valentine’s gift to my chest and cried for the third time that day.
~ ♥ ~
If I could’ve stayed in bed all day I would’ve, but my college education depended on me being in class. Though it seemed like lately I’d only been there physically. My mind was always elsewhere. More days had passed, and I hadn’t heard a word from Keem. No calls. No texts. No stopping by. I hadn’t even seen him around campus or in the library.
I know I’d told him I needed space to think, but it kind of stung that he hadn’t even tried to contact me. Wasn’t this the part where he was supposed to beg my forgiveness and for me to take him back?
Well, we hadn’t officially broken up. That was still up in the air, but I couldn’t help but wonder if he’d given up. That hurt even more to think about. If he loved me shouldn’t he be fighting for me? Relationships and life in general was so confusing, and I was confusing myself. I was upset with him for his plans to use me, but also upset that he was respecting my wishes to give me time. Was that even normal?
When my last class ended I sighed with a mixture of exhaustion, sadness, and relief. Saige walked with me out of the building, but I paused before we reached the parking lot.
“I’m going to head to the library, and then Esme’s.”
She keyed the button on her remote to unlock the door, while glancing at me. “Okay, be safe. Call if you won’t be home for dinner.”
I gave her a quick hug then was on my way. My sister’s reigns on me had loosened considerably and I was glad for that. My application for Ringling would be going in soon and while they’d stuck to their word about letting me apply, I couldn’t help but wonder if the support would continue if I got in and it came time for me to move half way across the country.
A mixture of snow and rain was coming down when I entered the library. I only needed to check out a book for a report I had to do in Early American Literature. I’d be so glad when I switched majors. I loved words and reading, but it didn’t excite me the way animation did.
I pulled my hood down as I made my way to the correct section of the library to search for the book. Asking authoritative figures for help was still one of my key anxieties. Running a finger along the spines of the books, I searched for the required title.
“It was raining.”
I jumped at the sound of his voice, too afraid to turn because I could be imagining it, and because I might not be. My heart thumped fast against my ribs and my winter chill wore off in an instant as I warmed all over.
“The first time it saw you. I was…pouring, coming down like a monsoon, and there you were. Arms stretched out, and a smile bright enough to light the whole universe. It felt like someone kicked me in the heart. I remember thinking that I’d never seen anything so beautiful.”
Taking a shuddering breath, I turned and watched him walk slowly to me.
“I couldn’t have known it then, but you were my catalyst for change. My world was upside down and you turned it right side up again. Not a day goes by when I don’t thank the heavens for sending you to me.”
He was less than a foot from me now. His fingers reached out, caressing away a tear on my cheek and I trembled. “Meet me at Hilton Park tomorrow at noon. Can you do that?”
My head bobbed up and down at its own accord.
He gave a little smile and his hand dropped as he stepped around me.
I remained frozen for uncountable seconds, glancing over my shoulder just in time to see him exit the library.
~ ♥ ~
The next day I swore my skin still tingled from Keem’s touch as I sat next to Esme on her bed. His words were stuck in my mind. I went over them again and again. I kept trying to figure out when he could have seen me in the rain. The way he’d spoken indicated it was before the night at the club. He said it had been the first time he’d seen me.
I was more confused now than ever. If what he’d said about how he felt that day seeing me was true, then why the plan to use me for sex? You didn’t do that to someone you liked. Suddenly I wondered if it had something to do with what he was going through when we’d first met. The same something that had caused him to ignore me for a week and be emotionally unavailable for a relationship.
“Are you okay?”
Esme’s voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I glanced back at where she was seated with her back against the headboard holding a book.
“Yeah, just thinking.”
“About…”
I turned away from her, chewing my lip. “Keem wants me to meet him at the park today.”
She harrumphed and I didn’t have to look to know she was rolling her eyes.
My silence caused her to lean around to look at me. “Wait, you’re not thinking about going, are you?”
I shrugged. Today was Valentine’s Day and the park had been part of our planned activities. There was supposed to be a nature trail for couples, with chocolate of the hot and candied varieties.
“Really Kirby? After what he did.” There was disappointment in her voice. And I understood it. She, like my sisters, didn’t want me to make a mistake.
“I know, but–”
“If you know, then why are you even considering going anywhere with him?” She climbed from the bed, coming around to stand in front of me.
“He apologized.”
“And?” she practically shouted. “He’s sorry he got found out, not for what he did.”
I got to my feet and crossed my arms. I might have understood but I wasn’t about to sit and be yelled at. “Es, you were the one who told me to be understanding.”
“Understanding, not stupid.” Her mouth immediately dropped open after she said it. “Kirb, I didn’t mean that.”
I brushed past her and marched toward the door. Normally tears would accompany my anger, but my eyes were dry as I snatched open the door and continued down the hall.
“Kirb!” She called , I could hear her footfalls behind me and darted into the elevator, jabbing the button for the first floor.
The doors didn’t move fast enough, and she slipped in before they could close.
I stood in the corner with my head angled away from her.
“Kirby, I’m sorry. You know I didn’t mean it that way. You’re like my sister and I don’t want anyone hurting you or making you cry. Haikeem has done both and it isn’t the first time.”
I sighed, giving her a quick glance. “I know you think I’m making the wrong decision, but I love him. He’s been there so much for me in the time I’ve known him, all of that couldn’t have been faked. I don’t know why he did what he did, but I owe it to him to at least hear his reasons.”
She crossed the small space to me and placed her hand on my arm. “Okay.”
I looked at her and her at me. “Just be careful, alright?”
I frowned a little, remembering her warning from before. “I’m not going to have sex with him, Es. We’re just going to talk.”
She shook her head. “I meant with your heart.”
The elevator door opened, and I was about to push the button to go back upstairs, but paused. Dozens of yellow strings hung halfway down from the ceiling, obscuring the view of the common area.
Es and I glanced at each other then stepped out into the string forest. I looked up at the ceiling and gasped at what must have been a hundred yellow balloons. I grabbed one and pulled it down to face level. Etched on the front in bold black lettering were the words: I’m sorry.
“I’m looking for a Kirby Ashford,” a deep, odd sounding voice said.
I released the balloon so I could see, and was met with some guy dressed in a superhero costume and a mask. My brows creased in confusion
as he took my hand and pulled me further into the common area where the strings were less dense.
I kept looking at the costume. It felt oddly familiar. That’s when it clicked in my mind. He was dressed as the hero I’d designed specifically for Keem; Styng.
“Keem?”
He stopped, faced me, and pulled off the mask.
I gasped for two reasons. One was the surprise of the reveal. The other…all his hair was gone!
He flashed a goofy grin at me that I couldn’t help returning.
“What happened to your hair?”
He smoothed a hand over the top of his crown. “It was time for a change. New beginning and all.”
Tilting my head to the side, I gazed at him, trying to make sense of all this. “What are you doing?”
One side of his smile dropped a bit into that signature, heart stopping, lopsided grin. “I heard there was a damsel.
I giggled, shaking my head in disbelief.
He adjusted the logo of his costume. “I know it’s not a perfect replica, but it was the best I could do on such short not–”
My lips against his stopped his words. When I pulled back his eyes were wide.
“Well okay.” He drew me against him then his lips were on mine again, caressing them slowly until I was breathless.
A collective ‘aww’ filled the room. I hadn’t even noticed anyone else was here. His presence made it so it didn’t seem so.
Our kiss ended, and he stared at me, eyes sparkling with a smile that wasn’t on his lips. “I had a speech. Can I still say it?”
I nodded but didn’t move from his arms. There wasn’t any other place I wanted to be.
“I won’t stand here and lie. Tell you that I never set out to hurt you, because if I’m being honest, I did. I made a choice and though I changed my mind later, I still made a conscious decision to do something wrong. I wish every day that I could take it back. But while I can’t tell you that, I can say that I love you and hurting you isn’t a mistake I plan to ever make again.”
I hung onto his every word, gazing into his eyes. In them I saw love and honesty. “I know you won’t.”
Someone behind me kissed their teeth. I turned and Es was there, eyes narrowed at Keem. Then her lips twisted to the side. “Damn it,” she said. Half a second later an amused smirk lit up her face. “Why do you have to make it so hard to hate you?”
He chuckled. “Because I’m the hero of this story.”
I faced him again, looking at the emblem of a hornet on his chest. He was the hero. My hero.
His hand moved to my neck and he threaded his fingers into my hair, caressing my cheek with his thumb. “You stole my heart before I even knew your name.”
I smiled. Little did he know that he’d done the same to me. “I love you.”
“And I love you, Sunshine.”
He kissed me again and I really did feel like the heroine at the end of her journey. Only this was just the beginning.
Chapter Thirty - Five
~ Haikeem ~
Six weeks later…
“You smell like flowers and sunshine.” I held her in my arms as we sat on the bean bag in her tree house looking out the window. My nose was buried in her soft hair.
She turned the top of her body so she could look at me, a mixture between a frown and a smile on her pretty face. “What does sunshine smell like?”
“Happiness.”
A full blown smile took over and she kissed me. You would think as many times as she’d done it I’d be used to it, but still my breath caught and my heart did a little dance.
It was unseasonably warm for early April and it was the first real time we’d gotten to spend up here. I loved the privacy of it. At my dorm there was always the possibility of Jay and Gabi showing up, and there were always people at both our houses. This was like our own little space to escape to.
The past few weeks hadn’t been easy. It had taken a lot to get back in her sister’s good graces. But here we were, falling deeper in love every day. The day after Valentine’s I’d finally confessed a painful part of my past to Kirby. I could’ve given her that as a reason to why I made the decision to hurt her, but I waited until after. I didn’t want that to be why she forgave me. My choice was mine and I’d owned up to it.
She’d cried when I told her and hugged me. Just as I had with her when she’d told me about the tragedy in her family, she felt my pain. With her arms around me though, that time in my life felt like a distant memory. It was her love that had helped me begin to heal. My parents still suggested counseling though, which I agreed to without hesitation. I know I should’ve done it sooner, but better late than never. I needed to be healthy mentally.
“Hmm.” I looked at her with a mischievous smirk.
“What?”
“I wonder what sunshine tastes like.”
I nibbled on the top of her ear and she giggled and squirmed away from me. “That tickles.”
“Oh yeah? How about this?” I wiggled my fingers beneath her arms.
She yelped and moved away, laughing. “Hey, no tickling!”
I laughed as I followed her. “How can I resist when your laugh is so damn cute.” I got her sides this time.
She squirmed, pushing my hands away in a full on giggle fit. “Keem…stop!” She tried to crawl away, but I was right behind her, poking at her sides, ribcage, and anything else that would get a laugh out of her.
She continued to push at my hands, now on her back, and cracking up, but there was no escaping my tickle attack.
I only relented when she was out of breath and coughed a little trying to catch it. Brushing away the hair that had fallen across her face, I leaned over her and smiled.
She made what was supposed to be a mean face at me but it was more cute than anything. “I’m gonna…get you back…when I…catch my breath,” she said then poked her tongue out at me.
I loved her so much. Her face, that smile, and everything else. “You can try, but I’m the tickle master.” I poked gently at her rib, causing her to flinch.
“No more,” she whined.
I laughed, moving even closer to her. “Okay, no more.” I brushed her lips with mine, leaving a gentle peck.
Must not have been enough for her because she leaned up and kissed me fully before parting her lips.
I accepted her invitation, easing down beside her to taste her sweet tongue. She’d become a lot more skilled since that first time, nipping and teasing, then drawing it out slowly. Her lips were paradise, she was.
Burying my fingers in her hair, I deepened the seductive dance of our tongues until she moaned, body arching against me. I dragged my hand down until it reached the hem of her shirt, craving the feel of her velvet skin.
I pulled out of our kiss as my fingertips grazed the area where her t-shirt and jeans met. “Can I?”
Taking in a shaky breath, she nodded.
Our lips met again, and I let my hand slide beneath the fabric of her shirt, trailing it lightly against her bare skin.
Soft breaths and light moans were the soundtrack as I explored her supple flesh. My fingers grazed the under edge of her bra and again I broke the kiss to ask permission.
Another nod.
More exploring.
Lace covered her breasts but still I enjoyed the softness, kneading one in my hand and brushing a thumb against her nipple.
She sighed into the kiss, breaking it just enough for a breathless whisper of my name to escape her lips.
I broke it again soon after and sat up. Taking her arm gently, I helped her up then lifted her onto my lap to straddle me.
Her arms snaked around my neck and I pulled her as close to my chest as I could, continuing to explore everything beneath her shirt.
Trailing my lips down her neck, I tasted the sweet skin there while inching up her shirt. A gentle peck to her lips then I leaned back once more. “Can I take this off?” I gave a gentle tug at the material to indicate what I meant.
Lip bet
ween her teeth, eyes low, body trembling, she nodded.
I lifted her shirt off then did the same with my own so that I could feel her skin against mine. It felt like heaven. She was my angel and I wanted to touch every part of her. Wanted to feel her softness beneath me. Hear what noises she would make as our bodies joined together.
I kissed down her neck again because it made her grip me tighter and I loved the way it felt when she touched me.
“Kirby,” I whispered near her ear before pulling the lobe between my lips and suckling gently.
The tiniest whimper escaped her. “Yes?”
“I want to make love to you.”
There was a slight hitch in her breathing, but she didn’t respond.
Gripping her waist, I leaned her back to look at her face. Her irises darkened a shade as she watched me with lowered lids, likely having no idea how incredibly sexy she looked.
I tucked a stray hair behind her ear then trailed the tips of my fingers along her face until I reached her neck.
Leaning forward, I feathered a kiss across her lips, deepening it when she leaned into me. Her sweet tongue moved over mine with slow and soft strokes sending a renewed heat washing over me. That, coupled with her lush body pressed against mine had every one of my pleasure censors firing. And she had no idea. No clue of the power she held over me.
Everything about this moment felt right. Everything about her. Us.
It was her. The one who was worth it. Worth putting everything on the line for. My body. My soul. My heart.
If I wasn’t mistaken, and I prayed I was not, she felt it, too. But I had to be sure. Had to make sure she was sure, because I didn’t want either one of us having any regrets.
I broke away from her again to catch her gaze. The look in her eyes nearly made me forget my words. “I want to make love to you, baby. Do you want me to make love to you?”
Her lips parted then she tucked them into her mouth, giving the slightest nod.
Somebody to Love Page 25