jinn 03.5 - without a map

by Liz Schulte

  It meant leaving my family…forever. So long as I was still tied to any of them, I could be found. Both of my parents were deeply rooted in the Abyss, Baker would jump back in as soon as he could, and all of my fake aunts and uncles were also from the Abyss. Outside of school, I didn’t know anyone who wasn’t somehow connected to that world.

  Naturally, I hadn’t discussed these thoughts with anyone. I loved my family and they did a wonderful job keeping me safe. The thought of hurting them made me sick, but I wasn’t like them. I wasn’t brave. I didn’t want adventures or anything like that. I just wanted to be normal. All I had to do was figure out what normal meant.

  So the rest of our drive I stewed over the problem that had been on mind since graduation had come within my grasp. By the time the GPS led me to Aunt Maggie’s house, I had decided that once I knew where I wanted to be, I’d have to talk to my parents. Either way it went, I’d need their help. Either they would have to help me fake my death so I could cut all ties with them or they would be stuck with me hopefully forever.

  Baker squinted at the little house with warm lights glowing inside as the sun was starting to set. “What a piece of shit,” he said, climbing out of the car and grabbing both of our bags before ambling up to the front door.

  As always I moved a little slower. I got out of the car, stretching out the kinks in my neck and the tension from my back. We made it without incident. That was good start to the weekend. The sound of a can tumbling against the asphalt behind me sent me swinging around. I stared into the shadows of Maggie’s less than safe neighborhood, waiting for whatever it was to come out as I put the open car door between me and whatever was out there.

  A guy around my age stepped out of the shadows on the street, hands in his pockets and a fedora perched on the back of his head as a lock of curly dark hair fell against his forehead. He was skinny and not particularly tall—though quite a bit taller than me. And he wasn’t human.

  I couldn’t really tell what he was, but not human I was sure of. He didn’t seem to be aware I was standing here. I let out my breath and pushed the car door shut.

  His head snapped up and eyes found me. Our eyes locked. His feet slowed until he stopped walking altogether. “Hey,” he said.

  I gave a half wave, pressing the button to lock the car doors before I headed to the house. I could feel his eyes on me as I went up the steps.

  “What’s your name?” he called out before I opened the door.

  I glanced over my shoulder nervousness twisting in my stomach. He flashed a smile that was sweet, appealing, and innocent, for lack of a better word. All in all, he was cute. “Charlie,” I said.

  He nodded taking a couple steps onto the grass and pointing at his own chest. “Fisher,” he said. “It’s nice to meet you, Charlie.”

  I blinked. My hands suddenly like ice and my mouth dry. “Have a good night.” I opened the screen door.

  “See you around,” he said as I slipped into Maggie’s house.

  Maggie smiled brightly. The happy dimples on her cheeks almost made her red eyes less creepy. “I was just coming out to look for you. Baker’s eating—”

  I laughed. “Of course he is.”

  She hugged me carefully. “How was the drive?”

  “Uneventful,” I said.

  She held me at an arm’s length away as she looked at me. “You’re so grown up. Has it really been that long since I made it down to see you two?”

  I surveyed my jeans, t-shirt, and hoodie. I didn’t really feel grown up. “Ummm, it’s been about a year, right?”

  She nodded slowly. “That’s sounds about right.” She hugged me again. “Well, you’re beautiful and congratulations on graduating. I have present for you! Do you know what you’re going to do next?”

  I shook my head following her into the tiny little living room where I could see Baker at the kitchen table eating everything within his reach. “Not exactly. I figure I still have a little time.”

  Maggie handed me a box wrapped in pink and black leopard print paper.

  “You didn’t have to buy me anything,” I said automatically as I began tearing open the paper. Inside the box was a short floral dress made out of a pretty, soft material.

  “If it isn’t your style we can take it back and you can pick out something else,” she said, watching me with hopeful eyes.

  The dress, any dress for that matter, wasn’t my style. I pretty much only ever wore jeans, yoga pants, t-shirts, or hoodies. “I love it,” I said, giving her a hug. “Thank you so much.”

  Baker, of course, chose that moment to pay attention to us. He snorted. “You don’t wear dresses.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Maybe I’m going to start.”

  “We can take it back,” Maggie said, reaching for it.

  I clutched it to my chest. “I love it. I really do. I’ll wear it tomorrow.”

  Maggie chuckled as she went into the kitchen. “You’re so much like your mom.”

  I could feel my cheeks prickling and my chest swelled with pride. “Am I?”

  She nodded. “Absolutely. So speaking of tomorrow, what’s the plan?”

  “I figured Charlie wouldn’t want to go to the music festival,” Baker said.

  “You are correct,” I replied.

  He nodded. “So I asked Femi to come with me. She’ll pick me up in the morning and I won’t be back until late. That’s my plan.”

  “How late?” Maggie asked. “Did you clear this with your parents? Speaking of parents, call them and let them know you’re here.”

  Baker sighed and pulled out his cell phone, thumbs flying as he typed.

  Maggie looked back at me. “What about you?”

  I shrugged. “I have no plans. We can just hang out here if you want. Netflix and delivery?”

  Maggie’s eyebrows pulled together. “No way. Your first trip to Chicago, you have to do something fun.”

  “Why does everyone keep telling me that?”

  “Because it’s true,” Baker said.

  “Then this giant, moose of a jinni steps up and says—”

  Maggie elbowed Femi as I stepped into the kitchen, eyes still blurry from sleep. It wasn’t even 7:00 a.m.

  “Did we wake you up?” Maggie asked.

  I yawned. “No.” I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. “You’re a little early for the concert,” I said, dropping into the chair next to Femi.

  She laughed. “Early? I haven’t even been to bed yet. Who needs sleep when I could see my two favorite kids in world?”

  We probably the only kids she knew, but aside from Quintus, Femi visited us the very most over the years. She always had the best, somewhat inappropriate stories about bounties she went after. I laid my head on my arm. “So there was a moose of a jinni, what happened next?”

  “He says that he is Malachi.” She glances back at me. “Malachi is a sniveling little rodent of a man, not this guy.”

  I nodded.

  “Anyway, I step up to the giant and suggest that he might want to rethink his answer. Then he looks down at me and says ‘what are you going to do, little cat, scratch me. I eat p—’” Maggie kicked her beneath the table. Femi glanced at me again. “Well I won’t insult his intelligence with the rest of what he said.”

  I pressed my lips together to keep from laughing.

  “What did you do?” Maggie asked.

  Femi leaned back in her chair and thumped two her feet clad in boots with four inch heels down on top of the table. She looked at her long pointed fingernails. “I cut off his ear.” She looked so pleased her words were somewhat less horrifying. “I have it in my car if you want to see it.”

  “Ew, why?” Maggie asked.

  Femi shrugged. “How about you, Charlie. You want to see an idiot’s ear.”

  “Nope. I see two every day on Baker.”

  Femi grinned. “Well, any way I’m going to give it to Sy to hang over the bar. He’ll appreciate it. But, the important part is he told me where Malachi was and now I am b
ack and I can take Baker to this renaissance fair.”

  “Music festival,” I said.

  “Same thing.” She waved her hand dismissively.

  “And on that note,” Maggie made a face, “who wants breakfast?”

  Femi and my hands shot up.

  Femi’s cat eyes turned back to me. “I have a present for you in my car.” She dangled the keys over to me.

  I pushed myself up, taking the keys from her. “Is it an ear or any other body part?”

  “No. It’s in the front seat. You can’t miss it, kid.”

  Maggie’s neighborhood didn’t look much better during the day, but I was at least a little less worried about being attacked. Demons and most of the things that would capture and/or kill me came out at night. Femi’s huge, old car, that looked like it was one stop from a junkyard, was parked on the street. Though I couldn’t say why, Femi loved this car.

  I unlocked the passenger door and pulled back the handle, but it didn’t budge. I pulled harder, still nothing. A hand came around me and I jumped back.

  Fisher pulled open the door then winked at me. “Didn’t mean to scare you.” He tried to look me in the eye, but I avoid his gaze until he shuffled past me.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  He stopped and tilted his head to the side, still wearing the same hat as the night before. “You’re new here.”

  It wasn’t a question, but he looked at me like he expected an answer. “I’m just visiting.”

  He nodded. “Cool. See ya around, Charlie.”

  I sank my teeth into my lower lip and nodded. “Later, Fisher.” My voice was soft and thin.

  He turned around, walking backward, and smiled in earnest. “You remembered.” His eyes flickered over me as he came to a stop. “Nice pants.”

  I glanced down at my Ninja Turtle leggings. “Reptile ninja’s are way cooler than regular ones.”

  He laughed. “It’s because they are cold-blooded.”

  I nodded. “Something like that.” I shifted uncomfortably. “Thanks again. You know, for opening the car door.”

  “I live to serve.” He gave me a partial bow then turned back around heading down the street as I watched him go.

  “What’s taking so long,” Femi shouted at me from the door, dragging my attention back to what I was doing.

  “Nothing,” I said, reaching in to get the package wrapped in newspaper then I shut and relocked the door.

  “He was cute. The guy in the hat,” she said in that knowing tone. “Who is he?”

  I walked past her and back to the table.

  “Who’s the boy?” Femi flipped her chair around backwards before taking a seat.

  “What boy?” Maggie asked, sitting bacon and eggs and toast down on the table.

  “You guys are worse than my parents. It’s no one. I don’t even know him.”

  “Who?” Maggie asked again.

  I sighed. “It just some guy. I saw him last night when I got here and he helped me get the door open to that hunk of metal you call a car.” I took a scoop of scrambled eggs and a piece of dry toast. “Obviously, we’re running away together to elope. I’ll need you to keep my secret until we’re married. Daddy’ll never give his permission.” I batted my eyelashes at them.

  Femi’s eyes contracted vertically as she watched me. “Marriage wouldn’t matter. Holden would probably kill the kid for holding your hand.”

  I snorted. “Like my dad would kill anyone.”

  A slow smile spread over Femi’s face. “Yeah, you’re probably right.” She took a sip of coffee. “Open your present.”

  I tore the paper and inside was a short leather biker jacket. Super cute and super Femi. “It’s fantastic.” I slipped it on over my pajamas. “How do I look?”

  “Like a nerd in a leather jacket,” Baker said, shuffling into the kitchen.

  Femi slapped the back of his head. “Be nice to your sister.”

  He rubbed the back of his head. “Why you people gotta be so violent.” He sat down across from me. “Nerds are totally in right now.” He stretched his legs out beneath the table and kicked me. “Can I eat?”

  ****

  I squeezed the water from my hair, staring at myself in the mirror. The dress Maggie got me was really cute, but also really short. I could almost hear my dad’s voice in my head telling me to change. I put Femi’s leather jacket on over it. I didn’t look like myself…but it wasn’t bad either. Maybe this was me, just a me I hadn’t met yet.

  Mom’s words echoed in my head. She said to try something new. This was definitely new. Was this me? Did clothes really say anything about the person? People always gave me presents that were more them than me and I loved everything I was given. Like this dress was very Maggie. It was feminine and flowing. Pretty but not too risqué. Then there was the leather jacket. It was so cool and I felt tough in it, but that was Femi. My worn jeans and concert t-shirts, totally my mom. I didn’t have one thing I could honestly say was just me.

  My life before all of these people was a blur of terribleness. Honestly nothing was clear in my memory until after we moved to St. Louis. But at four or five or six, however old I was, it wasn’t like even I had a clear idea of who I was.

  Maybe today I could be the cool girl who wore a leather jacket and the confident girly-girl in a short skirt. That girl wouldn’t be afraid to talk to Fisher. In fact she would probably love it. Not only that, but that girl wouldn’t be afraid to see where she really came from. Things were bad back then, the bits and pieces I could remember told me at least that.

  There was a knock on the door.

  “Come in,” I said, turning away from the mirror.

  Maggie stuck her head in. “Sorry to bother you—” she glanced at me—“you look cute.”

  “Thanks. What’s going on?”

  “Just thought we could discuss our plans for the day.”

  “Alright. Cool.”

  She came in and sat on the bed, her bouncy, curly hair piled on top of her head. “I was thinking we could hit the museums, maybe some touristy stuff since you haven’t been here since you were a kid.”

  “Sure, if that’s what you want.”

  She pulled her legs up beneath her. “Would you rather do something else?”

  I nodded slowly. “Maybe.” It wasn’t smart and it wasn’t safe, but mom did say to figure out who I am and this was the only way I knew to do it.

  “Great. What?”

  “I remember a lot from when Holden found me, but it all happened so fast that things sort of blurred together. There are a few places I’d like to see again.”

  Maggie froze. “Huh.”

  “If it’s a problem, I don’t have to.”

  Maggie’s eyes widened as she smoothed her sunny yellow, cotton dress. “Well, I guess that depends where you want to go. Like I can’t take you to Xaviers, but if you want to see the warehouse, we could set that up—you spent more time there anyway.”

  “Okay.” That was the easy part of my request. “There are also a few people I’d like to meet.”

  She blinked, face getting paler. “Who?”

  I took a deep breath digging deep into my more recent memories. “Umm, I’d like to meet Phoenix and Corbin… those are the names I remember the most.” I thought for a moment longer. “Oh and Sy. Femi talks about him all the time. I’d like a face to put with her stories.”

  “Your parents will—”

  “My parents sent me here. They thought this was a great idea. Well, I don’t want to shop. I don’t want to go to museums or fight crowds. I want to see where I started.”

  She sighed. “Let me make some calls.”

  By the time I dried my hair and finished getting ready, Maggie had her purse and sunglasses on. “You sure about this?” she asked.

  I pushed down the fear. Whether or not I could do this today would tell me the one thing I needed to know the most: whether or not I was cut out to live in the Abyss. “Absolutely. What’s first?”

  “
First, we’re going to the warehouse.”

  I stared out the car window as she drove us there. Nothing looked familiar and yet everything did. When we pulled up outside of the warehouse it looked like every other warehouse, which was a little disappointing. Maggie punched in a code and ushered me inside.

  “No one is here at the moment,” she said. “Feel free to look around.”

  “It’s still in use?” I asked.

  She nodded. “Sometimes.”

  I took a deep breath and walked around. It didn’t look the same. The small touches that made it more homey back then were gone. Now it was just a large empty room with hallways on either side that lead deeper into the building. The hallways were lined with doors to bare empty rooms. There was nothing here except for thousands of symbols drawn on the walls and floors in every available space.

  “Who did these?” I asked pointing at the wall.

  “What?” Maggie asked.

  “The symbols.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t see anything.” She moved closer to the wall and took off her sunglasses. “Nothing at all.”

  I continued down the hallway stopping at the room at the end. I leaned my head against the doorjamb remembering.

  “You used to hide under the bed in there,” a voice said behind me.

  I didn’t jump. This Charlie who wore dresses and leather didn’t startle easily. I turned around and man with black hair and eyeliner stood behind me. “Phoenix,” I said.

  His expression didn’t change. “You grew up. I had my doubts you’d make it for a while.”

  I nodded, pretending like I understood. “Does Holden know you’re here?”

  The corner of his mouth twitched. “I was just about to ask you the same question.”

  I crossed my arms. “What was Dad like back then?”

  Phoenix blinked a couple times. “I imagine a lot like he is now.”

  I nodded and continued through the cross hallway. There was a room on the left hand side of this hall that radiated energy like nothing I had ever seen. “What’s that?” I asked him.