jinn 03.5 - without a map

by Liz Schulte

  He glanced over. “I don’t really know. Olivia would be the person to tell you about this.” He moved to touch the handle, but I caught him by the arm.

  “I wouldn’t, if I were you.” Though I had no idea what is was, I could feel it was dangerous.

  Phoenix shrugged and continued on passed it. “So what do you want from me?”

  “Nothing. I’m just curious I guess.”

  “Kid, you can’t bullshit a liar. Why are you here?”

  I ran a finger along the wall. “I was a prisoner for so long and now I have this chance to be anyone I want to be, but I don’t know who I’m supposed to be.”

  He walked beside me quiet for a while. “Well that sucks, but I have things to do. Are you done with me?”

  “Tell me something about what I was like back then that I don’t know.”

  He popped his neck. “You didn’t talk.”

  I rolled my eyes. I remembered that much.

  “Fine. You only liked Holden. You were scared of pretty much everyone else.”

  “Even Mom?”

  “Especially Olivia.”

  I frowned. “Why?”

  “You only asked for one thing. Gotta go.” He trotted down the hall, but turned around after about five feet. “If you see another jinni or demon while you’re here, make sure Maggie gets you out. If she can’t, call your mom. You understand?”

  I nodded and he left.

  I continued back down the hallway until I was back in the room with Maggie. She was leaning against the wall talking to a very hot blond with short hair, pointed ears, and a tight t-shirt. They looked at me and he smiled.

  “You must be Charlie.” He shook my hand. “I’ve heard a lot about you.”

  I didn’t even have words. How would he have heard about me?

  Maggie smiled. “This is Sy.”

  “Oh.” I couldn’t keep the smile from my face. “I’ve heard a lot about you too. Can I see the Office?”

  He gave Maggie a side glance and she shrugged.

  “I can’t think of a reason why not,” he said slowly.

  “Great. Let’s go. I’m done here.”

  Sy walked with us to Maggie’s car and I climbed in the back since he was way taller than me. When we were a couple blocks away, I asked the question that had been nagging me since the warehouse. “Why was I afraid of my mom?”

  Maggie stiffened.

  “You were afraid of Olivia?” He laughed. “Holden I could see, but Olivia is sweet. She’s always been sweet.”

  “Aunt Maggie?”

  “It was a really stressful time, Charlie. You want to hear about it, ask your parents.”

  I crossed my legs. “What about Corbin? Will he be at the Office? Maybe he knows.”

  This time Sy did look startled. “You want to meet a vampire? Holden is okay with this?”

  “Hey! Maggie is half vampire. Offensive much?” I said.

  “We haven’t told Holden,” Maggie said. “And we’re not going to, but she also isn’t going to meet Corbin either. Even if I knew how to get in touch with him, he’s not really the type of person you want to meet.”

  “To say the least, “ Sy said.

  The Office was pretty much empty, but it was a bar. My very first bar. Sy offered to make me a drink until Maggie put the kibosh on that. It was fun and he told me lots of stories about Femi, but there wasn’t much to learn there.

  “Where next?” she asked when we were back in her car.

  “I don’t know,” I said.

  “That means it’s time for lunch.” She drove us to a little Greek restaurant that smelled so good my mouth watered. Within moments a waitress took our orders and we waited.

  “I wonder how Baker and Femi are doing,” I said.

  “They’re having fun. Femi has been texting pictures to me and Olivia.” Maggie pulled out her phone to show me, when a hat across the restaurant caught my eye.

  I made the sounds like I was listening to her and even laughed when she did, but all of my attention was focused on Fisher cleaning off the tables across the restaurant. His movements were smooth and graceful and the hair that stuck out behind the hat curled softly around his face and neck. He smiled as he worked, though no one spoke to him or really paid any attention to him as he cleared off the table. His eyes met mine with startling clarity then he winked.

  “Charlie,” Maggie said, grabbing my attention. “I put my phone away two minutes ago.” She laughed and followed my line of sight. “Oh, so that’s the guy, huh?”

  I sat back in my chair and she leaned forward.

  “He’s cute. What’s his name?”

  “Shhh.” He was a couple tables closer. “His name is Fisher.”

  “Hey, Charlie,” his voice came from behind me.

  My mind went blank. Completely blank. “Ummm, so you work here?”

  “No. I just like to clean tables for fun,” he said.

  “Right.” I looked down at the table. “This is my aunt, Maggie.”

  “Nice to meet you.” He nodded to her. “What have you guys been doing?”

  “Oh you know, a little sightseeing,” Maggie said. I could tell by the look in her eye I wouldn’t like what she was going to do next. I shook my head ever so slightly, but it was too late. She was already talking again. “But I think I’m boring Charlie. What time are you off work, Fisher? You want to show Charlie around?”

  Aunt Maggie was either the best aunt in the world or the worst one—jury was still out. Fisher came by her house after she battled me into letting her apply my makeup, so I looked even less like myself. However, it wasn’t helping; none of it was, not the makeup, the clothes, or the fake new confidence. It was going on the 9th block of complete and total silence. This was worse than a junior high dance. With each step my nerves reached new heights.

  Not only was I on a date, but I was alone. Anything could get me, including Fisher. I still had no idea what he was or why he was so interested in me. It’s called paranoia. My eyebrows pinched together at the thought. If anyone has a legit reason to be paranoid, it’s me, said the much nicer, more understanding mental voice. I sighed and glanced over at him.

  Fisher didn’t seem to be fighting the same mental battle. He took long easy steps beside me, hands casually in his pockets and a little smile on his lips.

  I cleared my throat. “Where are we going?”

  “Oh.” He blinked, looking at me like he had forgotten I was even here. Great. “There’s a place I like to go sometimes. I thought you might like it better than Navy Pier or anything so touristy.”

  “Cool,” I said. At least the further we went the better the neighborhood was. “So you don’t drive?”

  He shrugged. “It’s expensive to have a car in the city. Are you tired of walking? We could take the train.”

  I shook my head. “Walking’s great.”

  I blew out short puffs of air while I scraped my brain for anything to talk about. “Are you in school?”

  He laughed and rubbed his fingers against his forehead. “Nope.”

  What was funny about that? Weren’t most people our age in school? Fisher wasn’t much of a conversationalist (hello, pot, this is kettle). Finally I couldn’t take it anymore and I snapped.

  “Why did you want to hang out with me? I mean clearly you don’t have anything to say and neither do I. We don’t know each other at all and,” much to my horror my arms flopped around in the air, “I just can’t take the awkward silences.”

  He looked at me with wide eyes. “You want to go home?”

  “Yes!…No.” I scrunched up my face. “Maybe.”

  He scratched his forehead as his mouth fell open. “I wanted to hang out with you because I think you’re probably pretty cool. I guess I’m not good at this.” He gestured between us and I had no idea what he meant.

  I shook my head. “This, these clothes, the makeup, it’s not me. Or it is me, but not the me I’m used to. Does that make sense?” Fisher looked back at me clearly stumped. �
�Here’s the thing. This might be who I am, but also the girl this morning in leggings with crime fighting turtles on them who likes to hang out with her parents and their friends might be me too. Really it’s hard to say and…I don’t why I’m telling you any of this other than you’re here and silent and that makes me nervous.”

  “I…I hadn’t…”He blinked and looked down at my dress for a moment before he looked back up. “I don’t care what you wear.” He stopped walking. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Charlie. And it’s not because of your clothes.”

  “You don’t even know me.” This wasn’t some Romeo and Juliet crap. I didn’t believe in love at first sight or any other nonsense like that. How could he say he didn’t know anyone like me? He didn’t know a damn thing about me.

  “That might be true. I know you didn’t run away when you saw me even though you wanted to. I know that despite being scared, you’re here with me now. And I know that you feel alone, like me.”

  I shook my head. “No I don’t. I have a great family. I couldn’t be less alone.”

  “But you aren’t sure you belong with them.” He took a step closer to me. “You love them and they love you, but you still aren’t sure where you fit in, are you?”

  I stared into his dusky blue eyes. “You couldn’t possibly know that?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “Am I right?”

  I bit the inside corner of my lip. “What are you?”

  It wasn’t exactly polite to ask other people in the Abyss what they are, especially when you weren’t in the Abyss at all.

  Fisher went very still. “What do you mean?” Suddenly those clear eyes that all but penetrated my soul, closed off.

  Right. I was a void. He wouldn’t see me as anything but human because technically that was all I was. I took a chance anyway. “I know about the Abyss.”

  His eyes narrowed as they searched me for any indicator why or how I knew about it. “Is that right? How?”

  “Tell me what you are, first.” I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for a couple moments. “You obviously aren’t a jinni—I can recognize those. You aren’t a vampire or an elf or any fae, if I had to guess. What are you?”

  “I’m a cambion,” he said softly then looked at me like I would bolt at any moment.

  Frankly though, I had no idea what that was, but I didn’t want to tell him that, so I nodded.

  “What are you?” he asked after several moments.

  “Nothing,” came out of my mouth before I could even think about. “Well, I’m human, but my adoptive parents aren’t. Dad’s a jinni and…” Telling him what my mom was would probably freak him out, so I chose not to. “My mom is something else.”

  He visibly relaxed. “Really? A jinni, huh?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. It’s totally not a big deal. I was just curious.”

  He smiled shyly the back of his fingers brushing my cheek. “See, I told you you’re cool.”

  His lips lowered toward me and it was my turn to freeze in place. My heart tried to jackhammer its way out of my chest until his lips softly brushed against mine and everything went very still inside of me. He pulled away ever so slightly, that wasn’t so bad. In fact, it was sort of great. This time I kissed him, moving close enough to feel the warmth of his body against mine, though still soft and experimental. Sensations tingled through me as Fisher wrapped his arms around my waist pulling me even closer. My hands reached up to touch his soft curls pushing his hat away so I could bury my fingers in his hair.

  He pulled back and I pressed my fingers against my lips, still able to feel his against me. He tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. “You okay?” he asked.

  I smiled. I was great. Taking a deep breath, I looked up at him and everything crashed down around me. Stumbling back, I couldn’t look away. My entire hand pressed against my mouth as my head shook. There on top of his head in those beautiful silky curls, two leathery black horns.

  The memory hit me straight in the chest, knocking the wind out of me. The room was freezing. Ice cold stone walls and no light, never any light at all. My body ached from the fever that raged inside of me from cold and neglect. I would die soon, that knowledge was the only comfort I had. As my death approached one image filled my mind. The picture of the man who brought me here, The one I had trusted. He gave me to the demons like I was nothing. He wasn’t a man at all. A charming smile and compelling words were his weapon. And the leathery black horns were true indicator of his heart. A half-demon, how could I have been so blind? He was one of them and I had been a fool.

  “Are you okay, Charlie?” He reached for me, but I lurched away from him and ran as fast as I could away. Not again. Never again.

  He shouted after me, but I ran faster and harder. I wasn’t positive where I was, but at least I was going in the right general direction for Maggie’s house. I just needed to get there and I’d be safe. That was all that mattered. I glanced behind me once, but dim light of the street lights left too many shadows to be sure. When I looked back to the front a person stepped out in front of me, then two more.

  A scream lodged in my throat as I skidded to a stop barely an arm’s length away. I backed up weighing my options. These guys were definitely human. I could try to get passed them or I could turn around and hope Fisher hadn’t followed me.

  The three mean stalked closer, all from different angles.

  “Where’s the fire, baby?” one said as another made a lunge in my direction.

  My elbow connected with his face, just like Aunt Femi taught me, and he yelled as blood gushed from his nose. “You bitch,” he said, not coming any closer to me.

  An arm scooped around my waist from behind and lifted me off of the ground. I kicked and thrashed against the unfamiliar touch, when Fisher came out of the darkness.

  I knew it.

  “Let her go,” he said, eyes glowing red.

  The men stopped.

  “What the fu—” one said, as Fisher launched himself at him. The one holding me dropped me, running in the opposite direction. As the body of the man Fisher attacked crumbled to ground. The guy with the broken nose backed away, hands held up in the air before he turned and ran.

  Fisher took a step toward me and I took a step away.

  “I’m not going to hurt you, Charlie.”

  “That’s what they all say,” I breathed.

  Even in the darkness I could see the hurt soak into him, but still his voice was as gentle as ever. “Just let me walk you home.”

  All I had to do was send up one little prayer, something I should have remembered much sooner, and my mom would be here in an instant…but I didn’t. “Okay,” I said.

  This time I didn’t mind the silence. It was better than talking. So many thoughts shot like bullets through my brain as we headed back to Maggie’s house. Fisher stopped at my driveway and I stopped next to him, not really sure what to say, let alone what I felt.

  His eyes drilled into me as I stayed by his side instead of moving toward the house. I had to say something.

  “I’m sorry,” he said. “I thought you understood when I told you I was a cambion. I should have known.”

  “Known what?” I asked.

  “That it was too good to be true.” He ducked his head toward his chest and his shoulder rose up. “Goodbye, Charlie.” He took a couple steps away from me.

  “Fisher,” I said and he turned around. No other words would come out, so I just shook my head.

  He nodded. “It’s okay. You should probably go inside.”

  So I did just that. I wasn’t in the mood to talk about my evening or why I was home so early. I went to the guest room and put on my pajamas before crawling between the covers, melancholy hanging over me. There was a soft knock on the door before Maggie cracked it open.

  “You doing okay, kiddo?”

  “Just tired,” I said. “A lot of walking today.” My voice cracked at the end and I hoped she didn’t notice.

  A few seconds later the door clicked
shut. I closed my eyes against tears that wanted to bubble up. I had lived too long and experienced too many tragedies to cry over a boy. Especially one that had probably intended on betraying me…except he didn’t know what I was. Unless he was just saying that and he knew all along…but he genuinely seemed surprised when I called him out.

  Gentle peace blanketed the room and soothed my frayed nerves. I opened my eyes and sat up, tears immediately springing to them as my mom wrapped her arms around me, holding me tight. She didn’t say anything, just held me until I felt safe again and my thoughts were clearer.

  “I didn’t stay with Aunt Maggie,” I said.

  She nodded. “That’s okay. You’re allowed to have a life, Charlie.”

  My lower lip trembled. “I don’t see how.”

  She pressed her lips to my forehead. “Explain to me what you are afraid of.”

  “Dying. Being hurt. Being tortured.”

  She shook her head. “I don’t think that’s true. You’ve died countless times before. You know you will come back. You have lived through pain and torture like no one should ever have to feel, but you lived. You’re strong, Charlie. Look deeper.”

  The back of my throat burned. “I’m scared of losing you and Holden and Baker. I’m scared I’ll forget how to talk again and I won’t have any hope left to cling to. I’m scared that I’m not cut out for life in the Abyss and that will mean I will have to walk away from all of you, when you’re the only thing that has ever given me a reason to live.”

  A tear rolled down her cheek. “You’ll never lose us, Charlie. I promise. I will always find you. If you want to live as a human we will support you of course, but you won’t have to walk away from us.” She took my hand. “Would you like to hear a secret?”

  I nodded.

  “Once you discover who you are, you’re going to thrive anywhere you choose to be, baby girl. There are no limits to what you can achieve.”

  I ran a hand across my eyes guilt finally settling in. “I was pretty mean to Fisher.”

  She smiled. “Did I ever tell you how Holden and I met?”