Deep

by Angela Annette

  More tears splattered against the rock as she whispered. “Please.” The light dimmed and then lit back up and a man appeared. “Dad.” The man smiled and a woman, a woman who looked like Eva except older. And then another man appeared and another woman. They all stood side by side and smiled. There were red and green things behind them. “Christmas…They’re taking a Christmas picture…” Her hands gripped the stone desperately. “Daddy…Daddy, I’m here! I’m alive!” she said, banging her hands against the stone. “They’re alive.”

  “Christmas?”

  “They’re alive.” She laughed. “They’re alive and it’s Christmas!” She cried some more and then turned and lunged at me knocking me off balance and onto my back. Her arms were tight around my neck. “Thank you.” She whispered, burying her nose in my neck. Her hair smelled, strange and beautiful, like the thing she called shampoo. Without regard, I found my hands in her hair. I closed my eyes and for a moment she loved me. This was the closest I had ever been to her, I pressed my nose into her mane and inhaled.

  Her heart leapt, but it wasn’t from fear, I smelled ease. Her tears spilled on my neck, and the brackish smell was sweet. How could I let her go?

  “Eva…” Whispering into her hair. “I have to tell you something.” I took a deep breath and peeled her arms from around my neck.

  “Oh. I’m sorry.” She smiled and life was more vivid in her eyes—more than I had ever seen before.

  I sat up. “I need to confess to you and I hope that you will forgive me.” She sat in front of me with her legs crossed. Her head was perched on her fists. Before I began, I noticed the body decorations were on her wrist and I had to focus all over again.

  I started off telling her about my people and how we were dying—explaining the curse and what my brothers Aarif and Minkah had done to me. She reached for my hand and apologized, holding it until she learned the purpose of her being given to me. She frowned; staring off and away from me… I went on—hesitantly—to explain my lie and after I finished, I hung my head low waiting for angry words and hateful eyes to pierce me. I didn’t believe I could ever lie again…

  “You lied to us?” She whispered.

  “Yes but, I am taking you to the surface tomorrow. I’m sorry. I was caught in myself and my wants and needs. And…I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I kept my eyes low.

  “Home? You’re taking us home?” I looked up when I thought I heard disappointment.

  “Yes.” She looked at me. “Do you hate me?”

  “No. Hanan. I don’t think I could. I’m not even mad…maybe it’s because I know my family is safe. I don’t know. Home…” she trailed off again.

  “Do you not want to go?”

  “Yes. But…I think I’ll miss this place. I’ve never…it’s so different from my life above. I just never felt so alive…even though I can’t wait to eat a cheeseburger and fries. God I can’t wait.” Her stomach grumbled. “I like exploring the caves, swimming. I never swam so much in my life—I can breathe under water—I don’t have asthma attacks anymore. I used to be afraid of water, afraid of everything. Aella taught me to fight, I’ve never fought before! Here, I’m not... I’m not afraid. Not even of the eyes.” She let out a hard laugh, shaking her head of wild tentacles.

  “Cheeseburger, fries?”

  “Nothing.” She laughed her diseased laugh, infecting me even more—I had to let her go. “I held an eye, let it crawl on me, through my hair and I didn’t shiver not once. I’ve killed and gutted fish. I’ve cleaned your weapons of mer guts and God knows what without vomiting.” She smiled and fell silent, watching her hands intensely.

  “Do you want to go tell Ben. I’m sure he will be happy.”

  “I’ll tell him when I go back.” She threw her hands around the air. “But, I’m sorry about your people…Aella told me a little bit about it. And maybe you will get your, uh…throne back to lift the curse. But…I can’t have a baby. I mean, if things were different…”

  “If I were a surface creature?”

  “That too…”

  “And Ben.”

  “Yes. And Ben. I’m sorry.” We sat there, quietly. I pushed my pain aside, I knew these were the reasons. But I couldn’t help but wonder what fate would have done had Ben not been here? “I do have something to give you. I don’t know how, but I think it belongs to you. Wait here.” Eva stood and walked away, out of the room.

  I was a bit confused, what could she have for me? While I waited I went to the stone, whispering wanted hopes and desires, praying for a future—with Eva—to manifest. It never happened, why would it? I hadn’t a place for a surface creature. Everything had gone all wrong for me.

  “I got this from a woman a day before you saved us.” Eva explained to me this woman, Ms. Reba and how she was a soul reader and I couldn’t help but think about this woman. How could she have had the royal insignia, and not just any insignia, mine? It had the same markings as the one on my cheek. I slowly reached for it and held it in my hand; raising it to my nose, I took a sniff wanting to smell the scent of this Ms. Reba. Because soul reading is what some of the gifted mer do, how could she do this thing?

  “Mr. Reba…you smell…familiar.” But then it could be the stench of a nishant, it had almost vanished my mind that Eva was surrounded by them. Trailing my finger across the smooth surface I said: “My brothers…they took this from me. I thought I’d never see it again.” Still astonished, without words…I didn’t know what to say, so she continued speaking about this surface creature, telling how she warned them of the danger of the nishant and how she had forced them out of her home; not even wanting their payment. “But how did she know about this? Why did she have it? Where did she get it from?”

  “I don’t know, she told me that I would need it. She said with death comes life.”

  I understood this earth woman saw me, and my seed, Eva’s seed…Even she knew. I looked from the shell to Eva. Where did I go wrong? Perhaps it was in my lie? Maybe I was too forceful in my own will? Not that any of it mattered, I had to let her go, give her back. I stared at Eva and said: “Thank you…maybe…maybe one day I will pass this to my son.” Touching the shell gently, watching my future fade.

  “Hanan everything will work out.” She reached out and touched my hand and I watched her brown skin against mine. I was a little darker than her, her skin looked soft—like the petals of flowers.

  “Will you have Ben’s seed when you return home?” Eva laughed long and hard, clutching at her stomach. Gasping for air as she inhaled.

  “Between you and Ben I think you are both crazy.”

  “So he wants you to produce his seed?”

  “Ben doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Even if I did, it would be a long way down the road. Where we’re from, people don’t generally start families till they’re married and a lot older than me…well some people at least.”

  “Oh.” That made me feel a little better.

  “How did you and Aella wind up here, together?” I stared at her carefully. What did she think? Did she think Aella had my heart?

  “Aella and I are friends.”

  “I know. But how did you two wind up here?”

  “Well as you know, my brothers forced me out of my seat. Minkah, and Aella were once lovers. I didn’t know much about her, my brothers and I were never really close. I wasn’t interested in power as they were, I was only obedient because of the respect I had for Chike.”

  “Chike is your dad?”

  “No, my father.”

  “Dad, means father, where I’m from.”

  “Oh.” I laughed a little. “Yes, Chike is my…Dad. We were all obedient, to him and also rebellious in our own ways. I enjoyed spending time in other mer cities and outside the walls of Tahirah though Chike forbad it. Aarif used his royalty to collect maids. Minkah…Minkah was always just a follower of Aarif. The two of them were caught using their gifts against some of the people.”

  “How do their gifts work?”

  “Aar
if has the gift of authority, whatever he commands, happens. If he orders a mer to come, he must come. His body will follow though his mind may not want to. He has abused his powers, abundantly. Minkah, has the gift of Justice, he reads thoughts, it’s the way he can rule fairly—he needs to know the truth. But his lack of compassion makes him careless, and it doesn’t always work so well.”

  “And you’re gift is compassion?”

  “No, my gift is peace. In order for me to use my gift I must understand compassion—understand the hearts of those in question. I hear the needs and worries of the heart.”

  “Have you read my heart?” She seemed to hold her breath.

  “Yes. Well, hearts speak to me. I don’t always have to try, they speak on their own. I try not to impose my power on anyone. Well…I’ve read Ben’s too—not that anything he was feeling about you was hidden. That’s why I hate him so much.” I smiled, throwing a pebble that I held in my hand at the wall. “It wasn’t easy, I think because of the difference in us—surface and water—it makes it somewhat difficult.”

  “They used their gifts to force you out of the seat?”

  “No, those are gifts to rule, we also have gifts for battle. But our gifts to rule are tied to our gifts of battle. The more in touch we are with our rule, the more powerful our battle gifts are. That is why I am strongest. I embrace all gifts…everything given to me I nourish and respect.” Even you, I wanted to say. Instead I caught her brown eyes for a moment and then continued. “Anyway, Aella and I crossed paths on my escape…I found her battered and…broken. Her face…she was crumpled in a ball, blood everywhere. She was barely alive, her heart was screaming at me and I had to help her.”

  “What happened?” She whispered.

  “ Aarif, happened. He lied to Minkah, said that he spotted her with other mer, told him that she was filled with the seed of another. It was Minkah’s seed. Aarif panicked, because if Minkah had a child, that would put him in a power higher than he. He lied and said that it was my seed. I was the mer she was dishonest with.”

  “But I thought that Minkah’s gift could…uhm…extract the truth, he can hear thoughts.”

  “When emotions are high and there is no control, then those gifts are near impossible to use, they just stop. Anyway, we cannot use our gifts of rule against each other. They have no effect; even though sometimes I can hear their hearts, it’s never clear their intentions, always confused. I imagine it’s the same with them. Then Aarif is not hard to understand he is who he is, evil.”

  “Oh.”

  “Minkah gave Aella the scar on her face and her stomach. He killed his own child. He is a fool.”

  “He…hurt Aella?” She turned her head and her heart spoke to me…it cried sorrow and anger. She wept. I reached to touch her shoulder, but pulled back.

  “Aella is tough. She has understood that the life cannot be easy. She is a survivor, strong.”

  “I hate your brothers! I hope you kill them both and get your seat back!” Her eyes were waves of water.

  “I’m sorry.”

  “Aella is so nice. She’s…”

  “Close to you, she loves you like a sister and you her. I’ve watched you two. She will be very hurt to see you go…I’m sure we will meet again.” I reached behind me for the conch shell. “Anytime you’d like to see us, or her. Go near the sea, and blow this, and we will come, as fast as we can.”

  “Really?” More tears spilled as she grabbed the large shell. “That makes me feel better. I can see…you guys.”

  “We’ve never surfaced for very long…or even been to shore. We’ve seen it, watched the surface creatures. Now that you do not fear the water, you can swim out to us.”

  She smiled: “Well I guess I’ll go break the news to Ben…thank you Hanan, for being honest. I could never forget you and Aella, or this place. I really do love it here.” Then stay, I thought. Stay with me. I bowed my head and she turned and walked away. Out of my life.

  Chapter 21

  Hanan

  I don’t know how long I sat hidden in the darkness watching Eva sleep. Feeling a wave of sorrow continuously wash over me. I was lost, I’d drifted astray. I had disappointed my people, Aella, Adonai. I’m sure it was the lie that changed my future. And the only way I knew to make things right was by letting her go. Releasing my gift, she was not mine to have.

  After immersing myself in thought, I was left with questions; how would a surface creature survive here? Did I think I could send her home after she birthed a child? She would want to watch that child grow. There was no place for a human, here.

  “I’ve returned. And Hanan, they have a thousand who are willing to fight at your side. They’ve recruited and the numbers are growing. Our future lives!” She whispered.

  “Shhh…” I pushed her down the tunnel and we entered the pool room and slid inside the water.

  “Their faith in Adonai lives. They meet and pray. Hanan, we can do this.” I stared at my friend, my loyal servant, long and hard.

  Pushing my chest out, I answered: “We will.” A glint of joy in her eye, a shout of excitement in her heart. I’ve taught her to love battle. She was ready. We were ready.

  She filled me in on what her and Rashidi discussed. They hadn’t a plan, so I would create one. Not only did the Rebellion meet to pray, they trained in battle—both mer and maids. Aella agreed to meet again to help with combat and when the time was right, I would meet them all. For now Aella would remain my representation.

  “Rashidi, is handsome.” She smiled. “He didn’t seem afraid of my scar.”

  “Aella, with the scar you are beautiful. Let’s not have this conversation again. I wish you would see yourself the way others do.” She bowed her head, ashamed as she should be. She knows better.

  “Thank you Lord.”

  “Look at me please. I hate when you do this, I’ve taught you better. If you and Rashidi become one, he will love you or else I will rip his head from his neck. You have no worries.” I smiled and she laughed. That was better, it was better when she was happy. “Then you can bear all of his children when I am king again.”

  “You are king.”

  “I am.” I shrugged. “She gave it to me.”

  “What?”

  “What you first thought she had?”

  “I knew it. There is hope. I believe that Hanan. She may come back to you, to us.”

  “I don’t know. And I don’t care to dwell on the thought, I’m in pain enough. But when they rise we must set off.”

  “Have you given her the conch?”

  “Yes…she was excited to know she can see you again.”

  “Us again.” How could she be so sure?

  “Maybe, but I know she will miss you. She loves you.”

  “And I her. I’ve never had a friend like her. She asks so many questions.”

  “She loves it here.”

  “Eva will come back.”

  “She cannot, her future is not with me—not in Tahirah.”

  Chapter 22

  My heart was heavy with words, one word, stay. I inhaled then exhaled, how could I stay? Sweat drizzled down my forehead as I tried to relax. Why did I want to stay here, with Hanan? I knew why, but didn’t want to admit it to myself. I wanted to go home, needed to. Then why did my heart speak otherwise? I envisioned my family, the surprise and shock on their faces, the feel of being wrapped in my Daddy’s arms, my Mom, GG, Warren. The dinner we would have to celebrate the fact that…I was alive! After all this time, I was alive! God they’d be so happy. Then I’d tell my parents that I wanted to continue to live with them because, being ripped away from them once was enough pain to bear for a lifetime.

  Ben…what about Ben? I thought as my callous hand ran over my face, as I slowly slid to the jagged floor. He was in my heart and somehow…Hanan snuck his way in. As time passed, those feelings would fade, because there was nothing I could do with my feelings for Hanan. Land not sea…land not sea, I told myself. He is mer and I am human. That was trut
h, factual.

  What if I stayed, and had his child…then what? What would he do with me, I couldn’t live here. But you’ve lived here…my thought loud and abrasive. I’ve survived here, I countered. Not that I had to tell myself that, but it reassured me that I could never live here, even though I loved this place. Besides who was I kidding? Me have a baby, that was just crazy! I was only 19, too young. The baby would be some sort of hybrid. Had to be, I just hope it doesn’t come out with those feet. Shut-up Eva! You’re going home, not having a baby. Just think, my baby with some kind of power, strength beyond man…Superman. I thought about this and it was beginning to appeal to me, I touched my stomach and then…

  “Eva? Are you alright?” Aella approached me. I quickly wiped my face and straightened up out of my slumped position.

  “Yes.” My eyes drawn to the fanny pack, in her hand. Hanan must have told her. My stomach twisted in knots; I was sure she believed I was the key to saving her and her people. I couldn’t, I can’t, I told the nagging in my heart,

  “I knew you had the insignia when you first arrived.” she held up the pink bag. I also understand that maybe…somehow…Adonai and the bones were wrong. You don’t have to hide anything from me. You are my friend, my sister…” Her eyes glowed with the warmth of gold as she spoke. When that happened, it meant that they were experiencing an intense emotion. Hanan’s eyes glowed brown when he watched me.

  “I’m gonna miss you Aella.”

  “And I…” holding two fingers up, over her heart, “will miss you Eva.” She smiled and her intense affection and sincerity, transferred from her to me—my heart swelled.

  We stood over the hole of rushing water, the hole that lead to our freedom and also the outside underwater world that I hadn’t seen yet. I was afraid, I was excited (I couldn’t wait to see the world beyond these walls) but at the same time, it almost didn’t feel right to leave. It wasn’t right. I was to stay, but instead I chose to leave.