For Love & Torture_A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  Livia suddenly crushed her lips to his, sliding her hand onto his groin and squeezing. God, he was huge. Nox gave a moan. “God, Livvy, try to make it easy on me, why don’t you?”

  She chuckled. “Listen, you have all the cards here, Mr. Billionaire. This, at least, is on my terms.”

  Nox laughed, burying his face in her neck. “You smell so good, it’s intoxicating.”

  She stroked his dark curls. “How is it I feel I’ve known you forever?”

  Nox sat up and studied her. She stroked the thick dark eyelashes she had been dreaming about and he leaned into her touch. “I know, I feel that too.”

  She grinned at him. “Nox Renaud, we’re going to have a lot of fun together.”

  And she meant it. She wanted to erase the haunted look in his eyes forever, even if this thing between was only fleeting. The thought of that caused her pain, already she was so comfortable with him, so in tune with each other. A small voice inside her told her - you don’t know him yet - but she pushed it away. For now, they would have fun and that was enough.

  They spent a blissful two hours on the riverboat, then took a cab back to the French Quarter then went to an upscale burger joint that Livia suggested. Nox didn’t seem the type to turn his nose up at every day fare and she was right, he practically swooned over the juicy burger, smothered in sautéed mushrooms and melted cheese. Livia grinned at him.

  “It’s good, right?”

  “Damn good.” He took a swig from his bottle of beer and she grinned, picking a stray mushroom from his cheek.

  “I like a man who enjoys his burgers.”

  Nox muffled a belch in his fist and apologized. Livia chuckled. “Excuse me.” He said and she kissed his cheek. The change in him now from when they had met – he was relaxed and laid back and even the sadness in his eyes was less. She couldn’t believe it was because of her.

  “Tell me more about yourself, Nox.” Her smile faded a little and she looked at him steadily. “I’m so sorry about your family.”

  There it was, the wariness in his eyes and he looked away from her for a moment. “I’m sorry,” she said, “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

  “No, it’s okay.” He said. He wound his fingers through hers. “I can’t pretend it didn’t happen and I want to be honest with you from the start. Yeah, it was rough. That doesn’t begin to cover it, but for now, I’ll just say…it took some getting over.”

  “Can you get over something like that?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

  Livia stroked the back of his hand with her finger. “I think society places too pressure on someone to ‘get over’ things. Why? Why should we get over things? Can’t we just acknowledge that the pain will always hurt like hell, no matter how much time has passed? We just go on, live our lives, pretending we’re okay, when we’re not.” She cupped his face in her hand, her eyes locked on his. “That night in the garden, you were so honest with me. I asked you if you were okay and you said you weren’t. Let’s always be that honest with each other, whatever happens, wherever this goes, deal?”

  Nox’s eyes were intense on her. “How old are you, Livia Chatelaine? Because you have the wisdom of someone much, much older. Yes, of course, deal.” He leaned over and kissed her. “We have so much to learn about each other yet, and I can’t wait. One question…I’ll be forty in three years and you’re what, twenty-three, twenty-four?”

  “Twenty-six.”

  “Does the age gap bother you?”

  Livia shifted around and sat on his lap, not caring if the other diners were watching them, she hooked her arms around his neck and nuzzled his nose. “You just said I was much older.” she whispered to him. “So…what age gap?”

  Nox slid his hand under her shirt and stroked her belly as she kissed him. The feel of his big fingers against her skin made her weak. “God, I want you.” She gave a small moan.

  Nox grinned wickedly. “Anticipation, remember?”

  She wriggled against his groin, feeling his cock harden almost instantly and he groaned.

  “You are a very bad girl, Livia Chatelaine. The moment I’m inside you can’t come – excuse the pun – soon enough.”

  She hopped off his lap and smirked. “Anticipation…”

  “Devil woman.” And they both laughed.

  Amber sighed as she saw Odelle approaching her. It was late afternoon at the salon and Amber had just had a blissful massage. The last thing she wanted was for Odelle to ruin her buzz. The blonde woman smiled tentatively at her but it didn’t reach her eyes. That wasn’t anything knew with Odelle

  “Always good to see you, Odelle.” Amber said smoothly, and indicated the tea tray in front of her. “Won’t you join me?”

  Odelle nodded. “Thank you.” She sat and Amber poured her some herbal tea.

  “Did you enjoy Nox’s party this year?” Amber was being vaguely facetious – she knew Odelle hated public gatherings. Odelle, despite her beauty, didn’t mingle well with people and Amber had always wondered why. Odelle’s famed iciness aside, she rarely made the effort to get to know other people, almost as if she were protecting herself from something. She, Amber, Nox and Roan had known each other since they were teenagers but still Amber felt as if she had never really known Odelle. All she knew was that Roan had pursued the blonde woman, and that Odelle had only ever opened up to Nox, who she regarded as an older brother.

  She studied Odelle now. The other woman looked tired. “Is everything okay with you, Odelle?”

  “Of course. Roan and I are thinking of becoming engaged.”

  Amber tried not to spit out her tea. “Really?” She couldn’t help the tone of cynicism that crept into her voice but then regretted it when Odelle flushed red with annoyance.

  “Is it so hard to believe?”

  “No, of course not, I’m sorry. It’s just Roan never mentioned it. Are you sure you want to be tied to, let’s just say, to a man who…”

  “Can’t keep it in his trousers?” Odelle’s smile was bitter. “You think I don’t know about his other woman, Amber? Of course, I do. Maybe not all of them but I have my suspicions.” She looked hard at Amber who met her gaze steadily.

  “Then why would you marry him? Why not set your sights on someone else? Nox, for example. You adore him and he thinks very highly of you.”

  “You think of our group as a revolving door of bedhopping and casual hookups, Amber. Nox is my family. Roan may have his peccadillos but I assure you, it’s me who he comes home too.”

  Suddenly Amber realized why Odelle had sought her out…she was warning her off. She wanted to marry Roan – Roan, of all people – and was making sure that his friends knew he belonged to her. Amber half-smiled. Poor, deluded Odelle.

  “I believe you.” Amber causally sipped her tea and they sat in silence for a while. When Odelle left, Amber pulled out her cellphone. She listened to the buzz at the other end of the line and when he answered, she didn’t let him speak. “Roan, just how long has Odelle known about you and me? When did she find out we were fucking?”

  Roan hung up the phone and rubbed his eyes. Fuck. He and Amber had been so careful and now Odelle knew he’d broken her one rule. Don’t shit where you sleep. “I don’t care about random hookups.” She’d told him the night he first mentioned marriage. “I do care about you fucking around in our social circle.”

  And he had been careless. Shit. Marrying Odelle would secure his future – her father was richer than even Nox, and besides, he liked fucking her. He’d liked seeing behind the icy façade.

  Fuck it. Now he would have to lose all his other girls and make nice with Odelle. He should never have started up with Amber again – Amber, who had nothing to lose by admitting their affair. And that was the allure of the redhead- she simply didn’t give a crap about anyone. Except Nox, of course. Roan couldn’t help the jealousy towards his older friend sometimes; Nox was just so damned good, it was infuriating.

  Roan sighed and grabbed his cellphone. He would forg
et the crap with the women in his life and just focus on getting his shot together for the meeting with Nox and Sandor. He wanted in on their company; he was ready to grow up and he needed to focus, because of one glaring problem in Roan’s otherwise perfect life.

  He was stone-cold broke.

  Chapter Six

  After eating they had wandered the streets, enjoying the atmosphere until later, they found themselves at The Spotted Cat, a jazz venue which was jumping with music, and chat and crammed with people. Livia and Nox found standing room by the bar and ordered drinks. Livia looked excited. “I keep meaning to come here but never found the time.”

  Nox grinned at her. “Out of interest, how do you manage? I mean, I know you have the scholarship but working at the café can’t pay for everything. Actually, scratch that, it’s none of my business.”

  She laughed. “It’s okay. I get by. I’ve always had to fight for the basics so it’s become second-nature. Sharing with Morry helps and I don’t need a lot. Thank god for the scholarship, though.”

  Nox smiled at her openness. She really didn’t care about money, and that was refreshing. He could imagine her happy with just a book and a sandwich – here wasn’t a woman who needed diamonds and pearls – all the things he could give her, but what she seemed to want was his time. He swept his hand into her hair and pull her lips to his. “You’re gorgeous,” he murdered against her lips, “and I adore you.”

  Livia chuckled. “You barely know me but I’ll take that. You’re not so bad yourself, rich boy.”

  Her words were totally without reproach and he felt her mouth curve up in a smile as he kissed her. A band were just setting up and when they began to play, Nox slid his arms around her waist and pulled her back against his chest. Livia leaned back into him, comfortable with the intimacy already. The band was wild, fun and Nox lost track of time, the sweltering heat, the drink, the heady feeling of this beautiful woman in his arms. More and more people were cramming into the space and his arms tightened around Livia. She turned her head to smile at him and something shifted in both of them. He pressed his lips to hers and she turned in his arms, her own wrapping around him. They forgot about the club, the music, the other people.

  He gazed down at her and mouthed the words “Come home with me.” Livia’s smile grew wide and she nodded. Enough anticipation…

  Twenty minutes later and they were in the cab back to his mansion. Nox couldn’t stop kissing her, tasting her lips, sweet from the liquor, his fingers tangling in her glorious mane. He hardly remembered how they got to his bedroom but then he was siding her dress straps down her shoulders and he was taking one pink nipple into his mouth. He heard her soft moan as she pulled his t-shirt over his head and tumbled her onto the bed. Livia giggled as he blew a raspberry on her belly then proceeded to tug her jean and her underwear off. Her fingers went to his zipper as he returned to kiss her and he felt a wave of pleasure as she freed his cock from his pants.

  Livia stroked him until his cock was so hard it was painful, but he resisted the temptation to plunge into her and instead made his way down the bed until he could bury his face in her sex. His tongue lashed around her clit and she shuddered and trembled as she became aroused.

  “Nox…” She whispered as her sex became swollen and sensitive then he was kissing her mouth again.

  She looked up at him with her huge brown eyes shining and sleepy with desire. “Do you have a…?”

  He grinned. “Of course, sweetheart.” He reached over and open the drawer in his nightstand and pulled out a condom. “Want to help me with it?”

  She grinned and helped him roll it down over his cock. “Big boy.” She chuckled and yelped as he tickled her then as he hitched her legs around his waist, she suddenly looked nervous.

  “Are you okay?” Nox was concerned but she nodded.

  “I’m so good, Nox…I just want to savor this moment…”

  He grinned and slowly, grinning at her impatience, he slid into her. Livia moaned softly. “You feel so good,” she whispered and smiled up at him as they began to find their rhythm.

  Nox kissed her throat then found her lips again. Her body was so soft, her breasts pillowy, and he admired the way her body undulated beneath him as they made love. As the intensity grew, their gazes locked and Nox began to thrust harder, faster, deeper until Livia’s back arched up and she cried out his name as she came. The sound of it tipped Nox over into his own climax and he came hard, groaning her name.

  They collapse back on the bed, laughing, panting for air. “I guess we didn’t hold out for that long.” Livia laughed and rolled onto her side. Nox enjoyed the feel of her breasts pressed up against him and looped an arm around her.

  “Listen, I wanted to do that for a least a week, so we held out just fine.” He laughed as she rolled her eyes.

  “Okay, I’ll let you have that one.” She pressed her lips to his. “God, Nox, that was incredible.”

  “And only the start.” He smoothed a hand down her side. “You have the body of a goddess.”

  She giggled. “Thank you. Talking of incredible bodies…” She bit down on his nipple gently. “I’ve been dreaming about this one non-stop all week. I even wrote some piano porn about you.”

  Nox laughed loudly. “Piano porn? I think I’m flattered, even if I’m not too sure what you mean.”

  Livia grinned. “It doesn’t matter, I was just being silly.” She kissed his chest then rested er chin on it. “Nice digs you have here.” She looked around the palatial bedroom for the first time, and Nox watched for her reaction. “Actually, really nice.”

  No watched her check out the navy walls, the fireplace stacked with wood – his bedroom could have come out of a Tommy Hilfiger ad.

  Livia sat up and nodded. “I like your room, classy, elegant. Just like you.” She grinned and ran her hand through his dark, messy curls. “Usually elegant.”

  Nox grinned and leaned over to kiss her. “I’m starving, actually. Want something to eat and I’ll give you a tour of the rest of the house?”

  Livia stuck her tongue in her cheek. “As long as you promise to show me every single ballroom in the place, I mean I’ve only seen the main ballroom and…oww…oww! Stop, you maniac!”

  Nox tickled her until she couldn’t breathe then, they showered together, and wandered down to his kitchen.

  “This looks familiar.” Livia grinned at him as she hopped up onto a seat at the breakfast bar. “Is this your main kitchen or do you have eleven smaller ones for each meal?”

  “Funny girl,” Nick leaned over to kiss her. “No, just the one. It’s big enough to feed all seventeen ballrooms though.”

  Livia laughed. “Can I help?”

  “Nope, let me feed you, woman. Grilled cheese?”

  “Perfection.”

  They chatted easily while he cooked, Livia admiring the way the muscles on his back flexed as he moved. He really was glorious. She adored the way his shaggy black curls fell around his head, his green eyes crinkled at the edges. She still couldn’t quite believe she was there, that they had just made love, that it had been even better than she dreamed. It seemed somehow surreal, and yet to be with Nox was so natural. Livia studied him with unashamed lust and when he caught her eye, he pushed the pan he was grilling the cheese sandwich in to the back of the stove and came to her.

  “How,” he murmured, brushing his lips against hers, “am I supposed to concentrate on cooking while you look at me like that?” He stepped closer and pulled her legs around him. She was wearing his dress shirt, way too big for her obviously, and he began to unbutton it, letting the fabric fall apart. He drew the pad of his thumb from her lips, down to her throat, between her breasts down to her navel, making her shiver with desire. “You’re so beautiful, Livvy.”

  God, this man…she pulled his lips back to hers then as they kissed, freed his cock from his jeans. Nox, grinning, produced a condom from the back pocket. “Always be prepared.”

  She laughed and rolled it onto him befor
e guiding him inside her, moaning as he filled her entirely. “God, Nox…”

  He thrust hard into her, supporting her with his strong arms as they fucked. Livia bit his chest, kissing his neck and throat, before Nox ground his mouth down on hers. “Livia…”

  Hic cock reamed into her cunt so hard she thought she might slip from her position and a second later, they tumbled to the floor. Livia straddling him as they took each other to the edge of ecstasy all over again. Nox’s fingers gripped her hips, pressing into the soft flesh as she rocked above him, taking him as deep as she could. Livia came once then Nox flipped her onto her back and began to ram his hips as hard as he could, his cock growing harder and thicker, his hands pinning hers to the cool tile floor. Livia urged him on, coming again and again as he neared his peak. Finally, with a long moan, he came, shuddering and trembling, gasping for air. “God, Livia…can we just do that all the time?”

  “No complaints here.” She grinned at him as he laughed, kissing her tenderly.

  The grilled cheese was unsalvageable so Nox made fresh sandwiches and they both ate as if they were starving. “It’s all the energy we used up.” Livia said, nodding her head wisely and making him laugh. “Don’t mock, it’s fact that sex uses up four-point-six megatons of kilojoule energy for every orgasm.”

  “You just made that up.”

  “Alright I did, but still.”

  “Lunatic.”

  She stroked his face. “You’re gorgeous.”

  He smirked. “Oh, I know.” And he strutted around like a peacock, making her giggle.

  “What was that? Mick Jagger crossed with a chicken?”

  Nox gave up his comic strut. “Buzzkill.”

  Livia giggled. Gorgeous and funny. “Nox Renaud…how on earth haven’t you been snatched up by some woman already? I mean, apart from that face of yours, you’re the full package, aren’t you? I don’t get why you would ever be single.”