For Love & Torture_A Submissives’ Secrets Novel

by Michelle Love

  “You can dress up as me?” Livia was grinning widely now and Nox burst out laughing.

  “Dang it, woman, you see right through me.”

  “I can see it now. I get a text message ‘I’m at home, dressed as you. Bring chocolate syrup and a riding crop.’ Kinky.”

  Nox wrestled her back onto the bed. “You want kinky, I can get kinky, woman.” He noticed her breath quicken, excitement in her eyes. “Oh, you like the idea of that, huh?”

  She nodded, her pink lips parted and he felt his cock get hard. “So, what is your kink, Ms. Chatelaine?”

  He pushed up her dress and buried his face in her soft belly and Livia chuckled. “Well, that’s nice for a start.”

  “Nice but not very kinky,” Nox mumbled, rimming her navel with his tongue. He felt her shiver with pleasure.

  “You know, I honestly never thought about it…but there’s very little I won’t try with you, Mr. Renaud.”

  Nox groaned. “God, Liv…” He unbuttoned her dress and shimmied her panties down her long legs. “Every inch of you is heaven.”

  “What do you like, Nox? Tell me and I’ll do it.”

  “This is conversation we should put some though into and all I can think of now is your creamy skin and the fact my cock needs to be inside you.”

  She giggled and he moved up her body. Livia unbuttoned his shirt and fly as he kissed her and then they stopped talking altogether as they began to make love, wrapping themselves around each other.

  Roan looked at the girl sitting in the passenger seat of his car and tried to smile. “I’m sorry about this.”

  God, why had he picked such a young one? Someone who didn’t know the game. Instead, there were tears in her big blue eyes and he hated that it was him who had put them there.

  “Pia…I’m sorry. It’s my fault, I should never have picked you up that day.” He tipped her chin to his. “Listen…you’re beautiful. There’s probably already a queue of people who would love to be with you, and I guarantee, they’ll all be a lot better for you than me. I’m broken, Pia. I’m not a good person.”

  “But I was falling…”

  “No. Don’t say that. You’re too young to know what love is.”

  She suddenly opened the door of his car and got out. Uh-oh. This wasn’t a good idea. It was past midnight and the city was no place for a girl like Pia at night. He got out and called to her. “Pia, get in the car.”

  “Screw you.”

  He sighed. Would it be easier to let her walk away? Yes. It wasn’t like she could threaten to tell Odelle – Odelle would shrug and say “What else is new?” And, after all, he was doing what Odelle asked him to do. Say goodbye to all his side pieces. Probably stop referring to woman as side pieces too, he thought to himself reproachfully. He definitely shouldn’t have started up with Pia. “Just let me drive you home.”

  “No. Go. I only live two blocks from here, anyway.” She stopped and looked back at him, and her expression was resigned. “Go, Roan. It’s okay. I won’t tell anyone about us.”

  She stalked off and disappeared around the corner. Roan stood arguing with himself then followed her. By the time he got to the corner, she was gone.

  “Shit.”

  Too late. He couldn’t exactly blame her if she ran to Odelle, or even Nox. Nox would be more problematic – he would not approve of Roan seeing his nineteen-year-old assistant. Roan wanted to convince Nox he was responsible? This wasn’t the way to do it.

  “Shit.” He said again, and got back into his car.

  Pia waited until she heard his car start up and go before she ducked out of the doorway. She didn’t want him to know that her home wasn’t two blocks away, but a few miles. Still, she could walk it. Maybe it would get some of her humiliation out. She stalked along, her long legs carrying her easily. The night was cool, and she tugged her coat around her tightly. God, what the hell had she been thinking, sleeping with Roan Saintmarc? The dude was a walking man whore, everyone knew it. But, Pia had to admit, it bought her some cache in her peer group. Sandor wasn’t showing any signs of interest – unless you counted paternally – ugh – so when Roan put the moves on her, she went along with it. And he was a spectacular lay, she had to admit. She did wonder if he guessed she had been a virgin, but he never said. At least she could finally say she’d gotten rid of her v-card.

  She sniggered to herself. Telling him she’d been falling in love with him…no way. She just wanted to make him feel bad for dumping her. And it had worked. Good.

  As she turned into the next street, she heard the step behind her. Turning, she realized the man’s head was blocking the streetlight and was in shadow. He grabbed her throat and thrust her hard back against the wall, his other hand covering her scream of fright.

  He’s going to rape me…but the attacker made no attempt to life her skirt, or grope her. For a millisecond she didn’t know what the hell he want then she felt it. The pain. A knife being brutally and repeatedly thrust into her stomach. Oh god, please, no…no…

  She felt her legs gave way and she slumped to the ground. Her killer crouched next to her, ripping open the tattered dress and stabbing her again. As Pia bled out, she managed to croak out “Why?”

  Her murderer slid the knife between her ribs into her heart and she never knew the answer.

  Chapter Twelve

  Livia woke in the dark hours before dawn, to an empty bed. She shivered – the window was open and a cold breeze blew into the room. She got up, snagging Nox’s shirt and pulling it around her and went to close the window.

  “Nox?”

  The house was silent. Livia padded into the hall and listened. Something – water? – was making sound somewhere in house and she followed the noise to the far end of the house, to where the two locked rooms stood. Hesitating, Livia reached out and turned the handle of one. It opened and she now heard the definite sound of water running – someone was in the shower in the en-suite. She took a deep breath in and walked silently to the door of the bathroom. She tried not to look at the room itself but as she reached the bathroom door, she glanced to her left – and saw the huge, dark bloodstains on the floor. Oh god. Why, Nox? Why leave it like this? Some sort of macabre torture chamber.

  Livia had no doubt who she would see when she pushed open the bathroom door. Nox was in the shower, naked, scrubbing at his skin furiously. He looked up, but Livia could see he wasn’t really seeing her. He was sleepwalking. He raised his arms to her. “I can’t get the blood out. I can’t get the blood out.”

  As Livia looked on in horror, Nox began to sob. “I can’t get the blood out, Ariel, god help me, what have I done? What have I done?”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Amber got out of the car and saw a pale, shaken Livia waiting for at the door of the mansion. She came out to meet her and hugged Amber, and Amber could feel her trembling. “Thank you for coming, Amber. I got him back into bed but I didn’t know what else to do.”

  Amber hugged her tightly. “You did the right thing, Livia. Is he asleep?”

  Livia nodded, her brown eyes large and frightened. Amber took her hand and they went inside. Nox was asleep in their bed, his handsome face wracked with pain. Amber studied him for a moment, then nodded for Livia to follow her out.

  They sat in the kitchen and Amber made Livia drink some hot strong coffee. It was a little after dawn. Amber, her face make-up free, her red hair tucked up in a bun, tried to smile at Livia. “First up, don’t be too scared. He’s done this before, sleepwalked, I mean. Twice that I know of. Once when Ariel died, once after his family. Tell me, what did you two do last night?”

  Livia told her about the dinner, and the reunion between Nox and Charvi. Amber nodded. “Ah.”

  Livia looked at her unhappily. “I blame myself. I encouraged them reconnecting.”

  “You know what, you shouldn’t feel bad. At least we were able to control it, this way. What if he’d run into her unexpectedly? No, this is good. Maybe Nox will start to deal with all of it now. H
e never did, you see? He stuck his gorgeous head in the sand and just got on with the grief. He never processed what happened.”

  Livia’s eyes filled with tears. “God.”

  Amber patted her hand. “You’re good for him, you know? This is a good time for him to start processing. He has you. I suspect he’s never felt stronger.”

  Livia smiled at her. “You are so kind.”

  Amber sipped her coffee. “Anything else happen last night you can think of? Was it just seeing Charvi?”

  “There was something…he got a text message and afterward, he went to the bathroom and got sick. He said it was just the release of nerves, but I don’t know.”

  “Where’s his phone?”

  “Upstairs, I think. I’ll go get it.”

  Amber waited while Livia went to get Nox’s phone and when she came back, her face was stricken. “Amber…”

  “What is it?”

  Livia looked down at the phone. “It’s Ariel. There’s photos.”

  Amber swallowed and held out her hand. “Livia, please.”

  Livia hesitated them handed over the phone. Amber knew what she’d see before she clicked on the message but she couldn’t help the small sob that escaped her when she saw the brutalized body of her twin sister. Livia’s arms went around her then and held her tightly while she cried. Livia smoothed her hair, murmuring, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

  Amber pulled herself together, but leaned her head against Liv’s. “Sorry, Boo. Always a shock.”

  Livia smiled at her, handing her a tissue. “I can’t imagine. Who would send this?”

  Amber sighed. “Hard to say. Someone fucking with his head. The killer. No…he or she would have sent personal photos, surely? These are crime scene photos, anyone could have got hold of them.”

  “But why? Why now?”

  Amber gave her a crooked grin. “If it’s someone being malicious – someone jealous, maybe, I would say it’s because of you. Not you, Livia, but you and Nox. Anyone can see how much in love you are.”

  “You know what? I forgot this…” Livia went out into the hall and came back with her coat. “I got this left for me at college yesterday.”

  She handed Amber a crumpled-up piece of paper. Amber read it aloud. “Break it off with Nox, or I’ll make your life hell, whore. Delightful. Well then, I think we can guess who would be so spiteful.”

  “Mavis Creep.” Livia’s tone was icy. “Fucking bitch. I’ll rip her to pieces with my bare hands.”

  Amber grinned at her. “At least we can rule out any actual threat.”

  Livia frowned. “Threat?”

  “Don’t you get why these pictures were sent to Nox, honey? They’re implying the same will happen to you if you two don’t break up.”

  Livia snorted. “Then come at me, bro. I don’t scare easy.”

  “You’re a feisty one,” Amber grinned at her.

  “You have no idea.”

  They both turned towards the sound of Nox’s voice. He smiled at them both, his eyes exhausted, and he slipped his arms around Liv. “Sorry I scared you, baby. Just a little nutty.”

  “No problem, big guy. I haven’t even begun to show you my crazy yet.” She grinned up at him and Amber smiled.

  “Now, if you two are going to get mushy…”

  “Seriously, Ambs, thank you for coming. I don’t know what I would have done.” Livia’s expression was earnest. “You’re a real friend.”

  Amber reached for her hand. “Listen, you two are good for each other. Which doesn’t mean you’re not going to go through crap like this and I’ll always be there. You,” she fixed Nox with a steely look. “I’ve played soft ball with you for twenty years now. Now you have Livia, it’s hard ball from now on. You need to see a shrink, you need grief counselling. It’ll hurt, it’ll really fucking hurt but it needs to be done.”

  Nox nodded. “I agree. It’s time.” She saw his arms tightened around Livia and smiled.

  “Good. Now, I’m going to leave you alone but I’m a call away.”

  Livia shook her head. “Stay, have breakfast.”

  “I would but I left a rather attractive Australian in my bed and I think I need to go deal with that.”

  Livia groaned. “God, Amber, I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not, he woke up and wanted to talk, of all things.” She grinned as they laughed. “Bye, peeps. I’ll see you later.”

  As they watched her go, Livia looked up at Nox. “She’s good people.”

  “She is. Come inside, Livia, there’s something I have to show you.”

  Hand-in-hand, they walked up stairs to the room where Livia found him earlier. “This was my mom’s room. Dad killed her and Teague in here.” He sat down heavily on the bed. The heavy counterpane puffed up with dust. “The police told me Teague died instantly, a shot to the heart, but Mom was shot in the stomach and bled out slowly. My father killed himself in the next room.”

  Livia sat down next to him and took his hand. Nox stared at the bloodstain on the rug. “I had to identify their bodies. Dad…he shot himself in the head so you can imagine, but Mom and Teague. They just look so…peaceful. Asleep. It didn’t make sense that they were gone. I was waiting for Teague to open his eyes and grin at me, shout ‘psyche!’ Fuck.” He rubbed his eyes.

  Livia pressed her lips to his cheek. “I’ve never seen a photograph of Teague.” She tried to say it lightly, so that if he needed to break down he could without thinking she was trying to jog him out of his melancholy. Nox stood and went to the dresser, picking up a frame. He handed it to her.

  Livia looked at the photograph of a happy family. Teague and Nox could have been twins, both tall, handsome and smiling. Nox had his mother’s green eyes, Teague, his father’s dark brown. Tynan Renaud looked so proud of his family. His wife, Gabriella was beautiful, her arm around her youngest son. Livia traced her finger over Nox’s teenage face. He looked so young, like a Greek youth, so gorgeous and free of hurt. She looked up at him.

  “I wish I could take your pain away, Nox.”

  He took her hand and pulled her into his arms. “You do, Livia. You do.”

  She touched his face. “Come back to bed, Nox. I’ll show you happiness.” And she led him back to their bedroom.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “So,” Livia began awkwardly as she sat in the kitchen of La Chat Noir with Moriko. Their shift had just ended, just after the lunch rush, and Marcel was talking to an attractive young woman out front. His sous-chef Cat was having a sneak cigarette outside and Liv and Moriko had the kitchen to themselves.

  “So?” A small smile was playing around Moriko’s lips like she knew what Livia was going to say. She wasn’t going to let Liv off the hook though, clearly and so Livia took a deep breath.

  “So…Nox has asked me to move in with him. Now, I want you to know, I gave him a big long speech yesterday about being independent and all that…but fuck it, Morry. Life is short. I want to be with him.”

  Moriko smiled. “It’s not the biggest surprise, Liv.”

  “But,” Liv went on, “I’m still going to be paying half the rent on our place, the utilities, everything I’m paying now.”

  Moriko sighed. “I wish I could tell you that was silly, but the truth is…”

  “Exactly. Look, please let me do this. I love Nox, but I hate to abandon you.”

  “You’re not abandoning me, Liv, this is life and I’m beyond happy for you. Also, this way, however perfect he seems, he’ll get on your nerves eventually and you’ll have somewhere to come, cool off, have girl’s nights in.”

  Liv grinned. “You got it, sweetie.”

  “When are you moving out?”

  “Not clear, yet…but it won’t be too long. Next couple of weeks.”

  Moriko nodded. “Has Nox any idea of the paperback tsunami that’s about to hit his beautifully appointed home?”

  Liv grinned. “He kind of knows…just not the extent.”

  “Well, I’m happy for you, sweetheart, I
really am.”

  “Will you be okay?”

  Moriko rolled her eyes. “Doofus.”

  Livia hopped of the counter and hugged her friend. “Love you, Morry. Come on, I’ll treat you to lunch.”

  To Be Continued

  This Story will be Published by Mid-November

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  I thought I was going to pick up a toy for my little’s girl’s birthday when we went to the toy store that day. I got that and a hell of a lot more.

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