Stuck With You

by London James

  “I just want something new.”

  “I get it. You need a fresh look, chop off the past and charge forward to the future, right?” Gray says before sipping his coffee.

  “Exactly.” I crunch into the apple again and moan as the juices burst across my tongue.

  Rowan chokes again and wheezes out, “I’m fine. Really.” He cuts his eyes to me, and if I’m not mistaken, I see a twinkle of emotion. “You can’t cut your hair.”

  A part of me wants to comply and make him happy, but I have to stick to my guns. He and I have no future. I can’t do things because of him anymore.

  “It’s not up to you, Rowan,” I fire back, and I don’t miss the way his chest stops moving when his name leaves my lips. I haven’t addressed him by name since we got here, and I never planned on it. Old habits, I guess.

  He pinches his lips closed, and I don’t miss the way Gray grins around the rim of his coffee. Oh, so he knows about us, great.

  “Well, what are you thinking about doing?” Gray asks.

  “It’s a surprise.” I wink cheekily with a tilt of my shoulder.

  He purses his lips. “Oh, fun. I love surprises.” Gray tilts his shoulder too, mocking me.

  I giggle from the feminine move, and I forget for a minute that I’m supposed to be angry and unhappy because I’m near Rowan. I slide my eyes to Rowan, and the usual hateful shine in his eyes is gone, replaced by a softened look. The same one that made my teenage heart flutter like a million butterflies.

  But it’s gone as quick as it came, and I hide my pain. I give my attention back to Gray and smile. “Yeah, I don’t know. It’s just time for a change, you know. It’s time to chop off the past, like you said. It’s time for a new me.”

  “What was wrong with the old you?” my mom asks, tilting her head, seeming a bit worried.

  “Just some things I want to leave behind, that’s all. It’s time to move on.” I want to look at Rowan when I say it, but since I don’t really mean the words I say, I can’t. “Anyway, I need to go.” I grab another apple for the road, my coat from the hallway closet, and sprint out the door.

  Once I shut the door behind me, I lean against it and push all the air out of my lungs. It freezes in the cold, still air. No wind to take it away, the miniscule frozen particles fall to the ground with slow, unhurried movements.

  I push through the snow that fell in sheets throughout the night and make it to my car in the ornate garage. I’m so glad I don’t have to brush off tons of snow, it’s the worst. I stop walking, mid-step, and turn around after feeling someone staring at me. It’s intense, but it doesn’t alarm me. I’m not scared.

  Looking up to Rowan’s room, I see him standing at the window. His shirt rides up when he leans against the frame, showing a little strip of his stomach. I stare at him as he stares at me, and I’m not sure what passes, but it feels like I’m dancing with the devil. I refuse to be the one that breaks first.

  I can’t tell if he is challenging me or looking at me with earnest. I need to remember he isn’t the same Rowan that I fell in love with. We don’t know each other anymore, and we wouldn’t love each other today.

  That’s what I need to start telling myself.

  He smirks and nods, rubbing his hand over his thick scruff. Almost enough to be called a beard. I remember when he couldn’t grow a peach fuzz. He gives me his back and disappears from the window. The curtains fall back, swaying until they find their place. Was he actually there? Or was I staring at a ghost?

  Snow starts falling again, and I tilt my head up, letting the snowflakes fall on my face. It’s refreshing, and it brings me back to reality, not locked in an unspoken war with Rowan.

  After a few more minutes of standing in the cold, I get in my car and start driving to downtown Spokane. It really is a beautiful little town. Mountains surround every direction, and the trees are Douglas Firs, tall, large, never-ending, and powdered with the winter snow. The roads are abandoned, but as the light peeks through the snow that’s falling, the town is waking up.

  Which is a relief because if it was closed, I’d have to go back to the house, and Rowan would see I didn’t cut it, and he would think he won.

  I pull into a parking spot in front of the salon and make my way inside. Luckily, no one is here that I know, so I don’t have to spill my life story or catch anyone up.

  “How can I help you?” a nice-looking woman with long, dark hair and olive skin greets me.

  “Hi, I was hoping for a haircut.”

  “Sure, follow me.” She grabs a cape and drapes it around me as I sit down. “What are we thinking? A trim? Such beautiful hair.” She runs her fingers through it in awe.

  “No, I want to cut ten inches and donate it. I saw a sign out front that said you guys did that, that’s true, right?”

  “Yes, it is. This is natural?”

  “All natural,” I nod.

  “Gosh, I feel like cutting this would be a crime.” She grabs her scissors and locks eyes with me in the mirror. “Last chance, doll.”

  “Do it.”

  She makes the first snip to the ponytail she gathered it in, and a few seconds later, my head is lighter. She holds up what used to be my hair, and I cup my mouth with my hands and start to laugh. My hair falls right above my shoulders now. I love it. My face looks brighter, and my eyes seem bigger. I know it isn’t possible, but my hair seems like it has natural highlights too. Maybe it’s because I’ve never cut it so short, and I’m looking at myself in a new way. No longer is the sad, broken girl who has only loved one man, staring back at me.

  A new woman has emerged. One ready to blow caution to the wind.

  “You must have really needed a change to cut this beautiful hair off.”

  Oh, she had no idea how bad I needed this. Plus, I needed to get ready for my fake date, and what better way than to get a new haircut?

  Chapter 5

  Rowan

  “Do you like it?”

  I stare out over the view that Gray found and want to laugh. Of course, the Overlook is for sale. And of course, Gray fell in love with it. And then he asks if I like it?

  A build up of laughter starts to shake my shoulders. Unreal. I can’t escape her even if I tried, and now he wants to build our headquarters on the land where I fucked the woman I love for the first time? The same place where she tore my heart out and stomped on it?

  Damn it to hell, man. Everywhere I look, she is there. I can’t escape it.

  “What’s so funny? This is prime real estate, Rowan. It won’t last long.”

  My laughter finally slows. I look around and walk to the place my truck was parked two years ago. The view is still the same. All of Spokane is before me, nestled between the mountains. The sky goes on for miles, a bright, blue color, so different than the night and the stars this spot remembers.

  Why can’t I let it go? Why can’t I shake it off like all the other girls I have been with over the years? I’ve been with a lot of women to try and forget Everly, but it never worked. They were only a temporary solution to the real fix I needed.

  “I know this spot is all. It’s where all the teenagers would come to make out,” but not Everly and me. We came here all the time, but it was just to hang out and be near each other. I wanted to kiss her so badly, every single time, but the loyalty to our friendship held me back. What if I kissed her sooner? What if we admitted our love to each other at an earlier age? Would we be together today?

  “Oh, so this is where you and Everly, you know,” he clicks his tongue to signify having sex.

  I sigh, “Yeah.”

  “Well, I love you bro, but I don’t want to miss out on a great property over a girl.”

  “No way, this place is amazing. We would be stupid not to take it. Let’s do it.” I bounce on my heels and smile, trying to look excited, which I am. I just might have my office on the opposite end of where I am standing.

  “Really? Are you serious?”

  “Yeah man, this is the best view in th
e entire town. Pretty sure all the teens are going to be pissed, having to find another place to get their freak on, but they’ll live.”

  “Holy shit, we have a plot of land!” Gray whooped and pulled me in for a hug. “I can’t believe this, man. We did it. Out of a dorm room, nonetheless.”

  My hands dive into my pockets, and I stare out towards the town, the view we own now. “Yeah, we did. We need to celebrate.”

  “Let’s buy it first before we go too crazy.”

  “Good idea.” I wave my hand at the agent who is standing off the side, talking on the phone. When he sees us, he ends the call immediately and gives us a large grin, the one that says he knows he is about to make a lot of money.

  “Gentleman, have we come to a decision?” Weston, our agent, asks.

  “Yes. We’ll take it,” Gray nods.

  “And we will be making a cash payment,” I add. I never thought at twenty years old I’d be able to say that. And it feels fucking great.

  Weston’s grin took over his entire face. I guess for him that is great news. “Absolutely, let’s go back to the office and dot those I’s and cross those T’s, shall we?” he says, holding his arm out to lead the way back to the cars.

  A few hours later, Gray and I are the proud new owners of the Overlook, which still makes me laugh, and are on our way home. Regardless of the memories that the Overlook holds, I’m excited to see what the future brings. Not many people can say they started a multi-million-dollar company when they were eighteen in their college dorm. I need to start being prouder of myself.

  “We need to meet with a construction company. I want to break ground soon.”

  “Really? I thought you’d want to wait.”

  I roll down the window to our new company truck we got earlier today and put my arm out the window. “Nope, I’m ready.” Ready to move on, ready to grow, ready to make my dreams come true. I use my other hand and dig in my pocket for my phone. I need to tell Everly.

  Scrolling down, I tap where her name is supposed to be and pause. I don’t have her number. Right. I always forget that I deleted it a long time ago because every time I got excited and wanted to celebrate my successes, I wanted to tell her. She’s always the first person I want to tell, and I have a feeling that will never change.

  The only person I can really share it with is sitting right next to me. And that just isn’t the same as telling the person that is your soulmate—was. Was my soulmate.

  With a lump in my throat, I tuck my phone back in my pocket. Gray pulls the truck up to the black, gothic style gate of my dad’s house, and they open inward, revealing a long, familiar path. Douglas Firs line each side, looming like standing skyscrapers casting shadows along the driveway. When the huge house comes into view, we make our way around the circle.

  In the circle, there’s a huge fountain with sirens on each side. Usually, they are spewing water, and the garden beneath them is in full bloom, but not during winter.

  “Whoa, is that… Everly?” Gray asks, narrowing his eyes at a woman leaning against her car, talking to… Philip Ladson? Seriously? What is that prick doing here at my house?

  I hate that guy. He always had his eyes on Everly like she was a damn snack. Wait a minute, is this her date? Oh, no. That isn’t happening.

  “Who’s the guy?” Gray asks, turning the engine of the truck off.

  I clench my fingers in a tight fist. “No one important.”

  “With how she’s smiling, I don’t know if I’d say that.”

  The muscle in my cheek twitches when I see he is right. Her smile is genuine. While it doesn’t look like the one she used to give me, it’s close.

  “And holy shit, dude. Her hair is amazing. It’s short.”

  “What?” I lean forward and press my hand against the dash as I stare out the windshield. Oh my god, she cut it. She really did it. Her long, beautiful, hair is gone. But it looks good, so fucking good. She reminds me of a little pixie. She has it styled in her natural waves, which she doesn’t do much because it is a lot of work when her hair is long.

  “It looks hot. I’m not going to lie, that girl is fucking beautiful.”

  Deep breaths, Rowan. You have no right to get mad. She isn’t yours.

  Isn’t she?

  “Let’s go,” I growl through clenched teeth. I’ve been doing that more than I’ve been wanting to lately. If I keep it up, I’ll crack a tooth.

  Gray chuckles, knowing that what he said got under my skin.

  I slam the door a little harder than necessary to grab her attention, but it’s locked on Phillip. Why do I care? I shouldn’t. It means nothing. She means nothing to me.

  Yeah, that’s not true.

  “Hey, Everly!” Gray waves, and I’ve never wanted to punch him in the face so hard before. “Your hair is so great! Looks good.”

  “Thanks, Gray!” she shouts, completely ignoring me to slide her attention back to Phillip. Okay, that’s not going to work for me.

  I might not want her attention right now, but that doesn’t mean someone else gets to have it while she’s right in front of me. Yeah, I know how it sounds, but it’s just how it is. I turn course, and instead of going in the direction to the front door, I walk over to her car.

  “What are you doing?” Gray hisses, trying to grab my arm to stop me, but I yank it away. “Stop it. Don’t make an ass out of yourself,” he whispers right before I make my way up to the duo.

  I toss my arm around Phillip and stare at Everly, who has a look on her face that can only be described as fear. “Hi, buddy. Long time no see.”

  “Rowan,” Gray warns, but I ignore him.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask Everly’s new friend.

  He points to Everly. “She had a flat tire outside the salon, and I helped change it. I followed her back to make sure she got home safe.”

  My heart drops, and my stomach plummets to know she counted on another man to help her. “Why didn’t you call me?” I ask, feeling a little offended.

  She wraps her arms around her midsection but doesn’t take her eyes away from mine. “Come on, Rowan. You know why I didn’t. Phillip was just being nice.”

  “Yeah, and whose fault is that?” The words are out of my mouth before I can stop them.

  Phillip moves to stand in front of Everly, protecting her. Like I would ever hurt her. He has got to be kidding. “Hey, man. There’s no need for that.”

  Everly’s hand grabs his arm and steps to his side. “It’s fine, Phillip.”

  “Let’s go,” Gray says.

  I yank my arm out of his hand again, trying to walk away, and be a better person, but the anger, so much fucking anger is coursing through my veins right now.

  “So, I was wondering if you’d like to get a cup of coffee tomorrow? Just to catch up? I’d love to know what you’ve been up to,” Phillip asks Everly.

  My Everly.

  I turn back around and laugh, “You know, I wouldn’t recommend going on a date with her. She’ll just make you fall in love with her and leave the next day. Isn’t that right, Everly?”

  “Stop it,” Everly sobs.

  “What? It’s true. Isn’t that what you do, Everly?”

  “What the fuck is your problem?” Phillip pushes my chest, and I stumble back. “Do you want to fight? Then fight me. Don’t pick one with her.”

  I have so much built up emotion bursting inside me, spewing all kinds of things through my mind. I want to scream. I want to hit something. I want to feel fucking better than I have been since the day she left. I just want the feelings to go away.

  “I like your hair better long,” I say with a smirk, before turning around and walking away. Gray shakes his head, disappointed in me. I know. I’m disappointed in myself, but I don’t know how to stop the venom from pouring off my lips.

  And it’s not even true. I actually love her shorter hair. I want to tell her she is still the most beautiful woman in the world.

  But the resentment is too strong right now.
r />   “Good thing I didn’t get it cut for you,” she shouts after me.

  I open the door to the house and slam it as hard as I can, causing the stained glass in the middle of the wood to shatter and fall on the floor.

  “What the fuck is wrong with you?” Gray pushes my shoulders, but I’m numb to it all.

  “She is, man. She’ll always be what’s wrong with me,” I whisper and hit his shoulder with mine as I run up the steps. I feel like I’m eighteen again, nursing my broken fucking heart.

  And I have a feeling the only one that can put it back together is Everly Madison.

  I’m not proud of how I just acted, but these feelings that have been pushed aside seem to be stronger than my self-control.

  Chapter 6

  Everly

  “Are you okay?”

  I rip my eyes away from Rowan’s retreating form and stare at Phillip, who has been nothing but kind and sincere since we met earlier. He was an ass in high school, but he grew up and matured into someone I didn’t think he could be—it’s a good surprise. The old Phillip would have driven past the woman with the flat tire, maybe laughed or yelled something rude and inappropriate.

  Blinking my tears back, I somehow bring a smile to my face. “I’m fine.”

  “I thought you and Rowan were as thick as thieves.”

  “Things change,” I say with a shoulder shrug.

  “I didn’t think anything could tear you guys apart,” he frowns.

  “Well, I messed up really bad, and these are my consequences.”

  Phillip tilts my chin up with his fingers and gives me a sad expression. His blue eyes crinkle with understanding, and his lips frown with empathy. “You shouldn’t have to continuously pay for your mistakes. What a lot of people don’t get, is when you do make them, you already treat yourself worse than anyone ever could. I understand people for being mad for disappointing them, but how long can a beating take before you break?”

  I wipe the tear struggling to not fall from my lower lash line and nod, “You’re a lot smarter than you used to be.” I make sure I say it in a way that sounds like I’m joking. I don’t want him to think he isn’t intelligent.