Stuck With You

by London James

  He shoves his hands in the pockets of his brown Carhart jacket and swallows, causing his Adam’s apple to bob. “I’ve had a lot happen to get me where I’ve needed to be.”

  I place my hand on his shoulder and duck my head down to catch his gaze as it moves to the ground. “If you ever need a friend, I’m more than happy to lend an ear.”

  “Just a friend?” he raises an eyebrow.

  “Yeah, I’m not good to date right now.”

  “It’s because of Rowan, isn’t it?”

  I sigh, not wanting to admit anything, but it’s obvious. Even though Rowan and I no longer speak, the feelings I have for him control everything I do. “It’s a long story.”

  “Maybe friend to friend, you can tell me one day.”

  “I’d like that, Phillip,” I say with a big, earnest smile, and to my surprise, he gives me one right back. Yeah, this is a different Phillip. An older, wiser, yet somehow jaded and empty Phillip. One who is kind, but he somehow seems to have gotten some of his life ripped from him.

  “Great. How about we exchange numbers to keep in touch? I swear, just friends.”

  “I believe you.” I get my phone out, and we give each other our phones.

  After punching a few buttons, I have my phone back in my hand. “Jeez, your number really weighed it down.”

  “Oh, she has jokes, funny.” Phillips wraps his arm around me and pulls me to his chest for a hug.

  I don’t mean to compare, but I do. I don’t get the same heart-thumping, blood-rushing, lip-tingling feeling with Phillip like I do with Rowan, when Phillip holds me. He is taller than Rowan, built, but that’s where the similarities end.

  Turning my cheek to lay against his pec, my hands come up and lay flat against his chest, and I sigh. I haven’t been held by a friend in a really long time, and it feels nice. I wish I felt something for Phillip. I’d take a microscopic ounce of what I feel for Rowan, just to get over him and move on.

  Phillip doesn’t make my body come alive or my skin buzz. When he looks at me, I don’t feel my world tilting or my soul shifting. His chest isn’t as firm and muscular as Rowan’s, and as his heart pumps against my ear, the only heart I can think about is Rowan’s.

  “You’ll be okay one day, you know.”

  “I’m okay now,” I lean back and stand on my tiptoes to place a kiss on his cheek. “Thanks for being a good friend. I have Blaire, but sometimes another person to have in my corner is great. I’m not saying I deserve to have someone in my corner, what I did was really messed up. I don’t blame Rowan for hating me.”

  “If you think Rowan hates you, your mind is clouded just as bad as his, and what did I say? He can’t hold it over your head forever.”

  He obviously didn’t know Rowan like I do. “It’s fine. I’m a big girl. I’ve lived with it for this long. I only have a few more days here, and then honestly, I don’t know if I’ll ever see him again.” I know the words are a lie as soon as they leave my mouth. One because we are practically family now, and two, I know I can’t go the rest of my life without seeing him.

  It’s just the sad truth.

  “Well, I hope you don’t feel the same way about me. I know I haven’t seen you since we graduated, but I’d love to see you again. Just as friends. Maybe I can come see you and Blaire in New York? Is she still rocking out at concerts doing the—what’s it called—the wall of death?”

  I sputter laughing, the sound so loud that it carries through the quiet surroundings, bouncing off the trees. “Yes! She is a madwoman. I go to concerts with her sometimes, and she is in the mosh-pit, or crowd surfing, or the wall of death. Why anyone would do that is beyond me. She came home with a bloody nose and a black eye one time, and her exact words were, “‘That was the sickest show I had ever been to.’”

  “The little maniac,” he laughs. “I always liked that about her. She never cares what other people think and just lives how she wants to live.”

  “Yeah, I envy her for it. She’s always been really amazing at living unapologetically. And we would be happy to have you visit. We live in a shoebox apartment, and sometimes it smells like the pizzeria two buildings down, but if you can deal with that, the couch is yours.”

  “I love pizza, so it’s perfect.”

  “I used to love pizza too. Until I had to smell it every day. Now I get sick when it wafts by. Too much of a good thing, you know?”

  Phillip unlocks his car and opens the door, pausing before he gets in. “There’s never too much of a good thing. And if you’re wondering how something can be so good all the time, it’s just cause it’s that—it’s good. Take a note from Blaire’s book. It was good seeing you; I’ll keep in touch. I gotta go see my dad.”

  His words hit me dead in the chest, taking the air right from my lungs. His dad. His dad who went to prison when Phillip and I were in high school for murdering his mom and little sister. It’s something the entire town knows about but never speaks a word about it.

  “Oh my god, Phillip.” I run up to him and give him another hug. “Text me later, let me know how it goes, and maybe we can meet for coffee tomorrow?”

  Phillips smile is sad, and that’s when I see the loneliness shine through his sapphire eyes. I’m not sure why he is going to see his dad. As far as I knew, he had stopped caring for his dad the moment his father was sentenced to the death penalty. “I’d really like that, thanks.”

  He ducks himself into the car and pulls out of the driveway. I wave to him as he looks in the rear-view mirror. My heart goes out to him. I don’t know what he is going through, I can’t even compare, but I’d be happy to be there for him. And it feels good to have a friend here. I was starting to feel trapped.

  My phone dings, and when I pull it out of my pocket, I smile when I see Phillip’s name. “I think your hair looks great by the way.”

  “Thank you,” I text back. “And drive safe.”

  “Will do.”

  I stuff my phone in my back pocket and make my way inside. When I open the door, I ready myself for a fight, but the lobby is empty. The house is quiet. Too quiet. And I feel a storm brewing. The air is charged with anger. It’s so heavy, the hair on my arms stand up. I hurry up the steps, hoping to miss the fury and verbal storm from Rowan, but no such luck.

  There he is.

  Standing by my bedroom door.

  Chapter 7

  Rowan

  Everly sighs and charges forward, reaching for her door handle. “Can you wait to use me as a punching bag tomorrow? I’m not really in the mood, Rowan.”

  “Well, that’s too bad, Everly. I wasn’t in the mood when you left me high and dry and ditched me for two years. I just want to know something.”

  “What?” she asks, not turning to look at me. I keep my eyes drilled on her back, my body shaking. We aren’t touching, but the familiar surge of energy starts to course through my body. It’s the same every time she is close to me. It always has been. It’s like we are magnets, trying to stick together, but we are fighting the natural pull.

  “What’s he have, that I didn’t?” My voice breaks a little, right at the end, and I hang my head low.

  She doesn’t say anything, just covers her mouth with her hand, muffling the loud sobs as her tears break free.

  “I need to know what made me lose my best friend, Everly. I need to know why I wasn’t good enough.”

  Seeing her with Phillip broke something inside of me. It’s why I’m standing in front of her, asking her to just tell me what I did. It’s one thing to lose someone, but losing my best friend and my lover, it changed something inside of me forever. It’s like a part of me is lost without her, and I have no idea how to find it.

  She sniffles and wipes her nose with the sleeve of her shirt. She tilts her head up but doesn’t look back. Her eyes remain locked on the wooden door. “Phillip is no one, Rowan. He is no one. He is a friend, that’s all. He has nothing. No one ever does. It wasn’t you that wasn’t good enough, Ro.”

  My breath catches
when she calls me that. She hasn’t said my nickname since we were kids playing on the swing set. I’m not sure what makes her say it now. It makes me wish for some type of connection with her. One besides pain.

  She takes a deep breath and keeps going. “I don’t have a good reason for doing what I did. Everything, every excuse that I have told myself at the time made sense. It wasn’t you. You were perfect, Rowan.” Even with her back turned, I can see the tears fall down her cheeks, one after the other, drop upon drop.

  I step forward to grasp her wrist, and an electric current zaps between us. I want her to turn around so bad. But she won’t. I know that if I see the pain in her emerald eyes, it will break me. But maybe that’s what I need.

  “Look at me,” I beg.

  She shakes her head, causing more tears to rush down her cheeks. “I can’t.”

  “Give me that much, Everly. Please. Look at me.”

  Slowly, trembling with emotion, she spins around on shaky legs. My stomach twists, my nerves shatter, my heart trips over the ache. I let out a quaking breath to try and calm myself, but my lungs aren’t working. I don’t let go of her wrist. The feel of her smooth skin on mine takes everything away. Suddenly, it’s just me and her alone.

  I’m on cloud nine again.

  “He has to have something. Someone had to have something for you not to want my love, Everly. Just tell me because I can’t live like this anymore.”

  She opens her eyes, and my knees buckle. She’s so damn beautiful it hurts. “Don’t cry, Everly. Please. I’m barely keeping it together,” I beg as I swallow my emotion the best I can, but I can still feel a single tear dripping down my own cheek.

  Her lips quiver as she breaks eye contact with me, and she stares at the ceiling before wiping her eyes. “Rowan, I’m sorry.”

  I cup her face with my hands and make her look at me. “Tell me what I did. Was it not… was it not good for you? Did I do something wrong?” I won’t ever tell her that I had no idea what I was doing because I was a virgin too, but this has to be cleared up. It sounds so stupid talking about it two years later, but with her standing in front of me, and my hands holding her delicate face, it’s like I’m back there all over again.

  She pinches her brows and lays her hands on top of mine. Her tears get trapped by our fingers as she cries. “Oh my god, Rowan. No, that was never it. That will never be it. That was the best night of my life. It was amazing. You were amazing. It was everything I dreamed of. I need you to know that.”

  I smile, remembering how good it felt to be with her. I lay my forehead on hers. “If it was everything, why did you go? Why did you leave me?”

  “You wouldn’t understand,” she whispers, her breath ghosting over my lips, teasing me with the faint remembrance of her taste.

  I rub my nose against hers, closing my eyes, taking in how she feels against me. It’s been so long. My life feels right again. My heart doesn’t ache anymore. This is how it’s supposed to be. I don’t want to talk anymore. I just want to feel her. I need to. It’s been too long.

  I tilt my head to the side and hover my lips over hers. It’s been too long since I’ve tasted them. I only got to taste them once, and it was nowhere near enough.

  “What are you doing?” she pulls back a little, gasping as I take a step forward to close the distance she put between us.

  “Shh, don’t question it because right now I don’t really know. I just know I need you.”

  “I need you too, Rowan.”

  My name falling from her lips breaks the last resolve I have.

  I press her against the door, pelvis to pelvis, and close the distance between us. I keep my hands on her face, caressing her cheeks, moving to push my lips harder against hers. She whimpers into my mouth, and I swallow it down like it’s water, and I’m a dehydrated man. I plunge my tongue inside her lips, licking those divine taste buds. Her tongue duels with mine but not for domination. Instead, she pulls me even closer to her. It makes me flex my hips, rocking my cock against her. Her lips are so perfect and round. I’ve never stopped remembering our first kisses, and for so long the fantasy of kissing her again was a luxury I wanted desperately.

  Still is.

  Breaking our lips apart for a second to catch my breath. I groan as my body trembles with need. My cock jerks in my jeans, aching to be inside her again, the place I belong. I run my hands down her neck, my fingers dragging along the soft column of her neck, tracing her collarbones, running them down her chest until I hit the curve of her breasts.

  Her breaths are coming out harsh, and her cheeks are red from desire, for me. I stop before I go further and take a chance to examine her face. God damn, she is beautiful. Her eyes are my favorite thing about her. They are pools of melted emerald stones, glistening in the sun. Hypnotizing. Erotic. Mine. Always have been. Always will be.

  No matter what curves life throws at us, no matter the space we put between us, I know we will always find our way back to each other.

  “I love you, Rowan. That’s never changed.”

  Her words elicit a deeply content growl from my throat, and I plunder her mouth again. My cock has never been so hard. My soul has never been so aflame. No one has ever felt so good before. No matter how hard I tried, no one ever felt as right as Everly.

  “I love you too, Everly,” I push her hair back behind her ears so I can see her entire face. “I can’t believe how long I’ve loved you.”

  She smiles like I’ve given her the world and presses her lips against mine again. My hand reaches for the doorknob, and we fumble through the bedroom. I kick the door shut with my foot and yank my shirt off by grabbing the back of the collar.

  “I always loved it when you took your shirt off like that. It’s so hot,” she grins with a lick of her lips.

  I smirk, showing the dimple in my right cheek. Another thing that drives her crazy. “I know. Why do you think I always made sure to do it that way?” I lift the hem of her shirt, touching the taut muscle of her stomach as I yank the damned material off.

  Her body is different, more curvaceous. Her hips are wider, her breasts are fuller, the dip in her waist is more pronounced. I didn’t think I could be even more attracted to her than I was before, but somehow I am. All I want to do is wake up to Everly, every day, for the rest of my life.

  She has been my entire life so far, so what would I know about actually living without her? A world without Everly Madison is not a world I’d want to be part of.

  I run one finger under the strap of her bra and pull it down her slim shoulder. Her hands trail down my chest, and she runs her thumbs over my nipples, making me inhale.

  “You look different,” she says.

  “Is that a good thing?”

  She bites her lip and nods, “Very.”

  It looks like both of us have filled out in all the right places. I lay her on the bed and kiss her again while my hands remove her bra. I toss it the side and look down.

  “Fuck,” I grope the mounds in my palms, kneading the soft, tender flesh. “I’ve always loved your tits.” Her nipples are a pale pink, hard and wanting, waiting for me to give them pleasure.

  “Rowan,” she withers under me, clawing at my chest as I pluck the beaded nubs.

  I kiss my way down her chest and lick to her chest, darting right and swirling my tongue around one nipple before making my way to the next. Her fingers tug on the short strands of my hair as I work my way down her elegant body. So soft, so refined, so smooth.

  I unbutton her jeans and tug them off along with her shoes. I can see her, light patch of hair above her pussy. My shaft twitches at the sight, and pre-come pools into my briefs. I’m leaking like a sieve; the anticipation of getting inside her is slowly killing me.

  Next, I grab a fistful of her lacy underwear and rip them from her body. She gasps, but then moans, clutching the comforter in her hands so hard her knuckles turn white. She’s all waxed and trimmed in a pretty, vertical, wide line. I always love it when women keep their pubic hai
r. It’s so womanly.

  I spread her folds apart, and my mouth waters from how wet she is. I’m dying for a taste. I’ve been wanting to see how sweet she is since I was seventeen. I swipe my tongue along her slit, and she lets out a very loud moan that sends shivers down my shaft.

  I don’t know how long I can keep this up. My cock is so hard, it hurts. It actually, physically hurts. I dip my tongue into her pussy and scoop her cream into my mouth. My eyes roll to the back of my head.

  Pears. She tastes like fucking pears.

  “You taste so good,” I mutter as I unbutton my pants and push them down my legs until I can kick them off. I latch back on to her clit, sucking and nibbling until her back bends off the bed and she is shouting my name to the heavens.

  I can’t take it anymore.

  I wrap my hand around my cock and rest it against her folds. Our eyes meet for a second, and she nods, her beautiful emeralds glazed over with desire.

  In one quick motion, I’m sheath inside her in one long stroke. Both of us moan at the same time. Her hands clutch my ass, pushing me further inside her, making sure she has every inch. “It’s been too long,” I whisper.

  “Never again,” she gasps, as she kisses her way down my neck, sucking on a hot spot right above my collarbone. We’ve never had time to explore each other before. I don’t know how she knows what I like, but I won’t question it.

  It just reassures how we are supposed to be together.

  I rock against her, slow and steady, trying my best not to come already. She’s so fucking tight, reminding me of how she felt the night we lost our virginities to each other. Her wet walls suck my cock into her depths with every stroke.

  “Rowan, more. Faster.”

  I bite my lip, needing some amount of pain to keep me from coming. I’m close. I’m too close. I lay my hand in the middle of her chest and give her all I have. I fuck her hard and fast, barely keeping control of myself. Next time, it will be better, but right now, I need to take the edge off.