Ascending Shadow

by Church K Calvert

  “I’m glad you made me stay.”

  “Me too,” Joyce said, tilting her head slightly, “I have a question. Have you considered what it would be like if you were in an intimate relationship with another person?”

  “Like having sex with someone?”

  “No, like an actual boyfriend or girlfriend. I see you spending a lot of time with Caleb. Are you two dating?”

  “This conversation sounds vaguely familiar,” I said, glancing at her sideways, “but no, I don’t see Caleb like that. I think if I were ever to be with someone it would be a woman.”

  “Okay,” Joyce said, exhaling, “What do you think that would be like, is there anyone that you are drawn to?”

  “Not exactly. It’s weird, because. I know I have never been in love, yet I feel like I have. It’s like I know she exists. I swear at times I sleep at night and I can feel her. I know what she smells like, what she feels like. In these moments, I know who she is, and it’s like I’ve always known. I can feel her under my skin. I feel my soul is searching for her. Like we are constantly looking for each other, yet we are always with each other. Like she’s already a part of me and one day we will find each other, at least I hope we will. The fleeting feeling I get when I feel this person is more valuable than any feeling I’ve felt with anyone I’ve met in this world.”

  “What situation brings out this feeling the most?”

  “The rain. The smell, the sound, even the feel of it provokes these feelings the most. I just wish I knew why.”

  “I think you should trust these feelings. I believe they’re there for a reason.”

  Chapter Sixteen

  Loyalty

  With growth and strength can also come foolishness. I was feeling exceptionally prepared for the world beyond the house and work. I wanted to put my newfound self-control to the test. One evening when I was feeling particularly brave, I ventured out for a run with alternative motives. I just wanted to see the extent of my progress, to visit my old home, maybe grab a few of my things, and visit Joanne. I was sure she was concerned with my whereabouts. I ran a mile-and-a-half to the nearest bus stop that would take me into the city. Though I knew I was being slightly reckless, I couldn’t wait to prove, not only to Law but also myself, that I was strong enough to stand up to the temptations of the world.

  Getting into the city with the various stops took almost a half hour. I was worried that Law would begin to worry if I made it back too late. I rushed down the street to my old building. I ran up the stairs and hurriedly tucked myself away into the apartment, leaving the door ajar in case I needed to make a quick exit. I looked around to see the apartment was in disarray. Clearly, people had come and gone looking for something. I rushed over to my mattress and searched for my journals. Some of them were still there, but several were missing, including the one with the rules.

  “Fuck. . .” I said aloud to myself, as I began shifting things around, hoping it was just hidden under something.

  “What are we looking for,” Caleb’s voice asked from behind me. Startled at the sound of his voice, I turned around to see him leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed.

  “I’m looking for my journals, they’re not all here.”

  “You shouldn’t be here, it’s too dangerous,” Caleb said.

  “Well, the sooner I find what I’m looking for, the sooner we can leave, so make yourself useful and help me.”

  “Okay. What are we looking for?”

  “A journal, like the rest of these, but the binding is red.”

  Caleb began helping me look for it. We overturned everything trying to locate it.

  “Meow,” came a loud cry from the doorway.

  I glanced over to see Miles, Joanne’s cat, standing in the doorway, trying to get our attention.

  “You had a cat? And you just left it here? Dani . . .” Caleb said, disappointed.

  “It’s not my cat,” I said, standing up. With an unnerved feeling manifesting inside me, I walked towards the door, and as I did, Miles walked further down the hallway, continuing to produce demoralizing shrieks.

  Caleb followed closely behind me. We tiptoed down the hallway toward Joanne’s apartment. The door was closed but the frame was slightly separated from the wall. It was clear someone had broken it down at some point. I put my hand against the door and it opened. It was quiet inside, except for the small drone of a talk show playing on the television. Her apartment also looked like things had been tossed about. I placed my hand on the counter, not realizing there was broken glass. I winced loudly, as a splinter slipped under my nail.

  “Danielle?” A faint voice came from behind the couch. Caleb grabbed my left arm to pull me back at the sound of the voice.

  “It’s okay,” I said, as he loosened his grip. I rushed over to the side of the couch. Joanne was propped up against the back of her couch; she was breathing heavily, and had a gash on her head.

  “Joanne, what happened?”

  “You shouldn’t be here, Danielle. These men came looking for you. They thought you would be here.”

  “When did they come, Joanne?”

  “They come all the time; they’re waiting for you to come back. They were nice at first, but not anymore. The other day, they were very mad. They told me that I was lying, that I did know where you were. I told them I haven’t seen you in months, but they didn’t believe me,” she said, placing her hand on her head where the gash was, “I’ve been stuck here for days. I think my leg is broken.”

  “Dani, can you do something to help her?” Caleb asked.

  “Yeah,” I said, reaching up toward Joanne. My heart dropped when I saw my finger. It was still bleeding. Right as my Mortal Night realization set in, I heard a commotion down the hall.

  “Someone set off the sensors, she can’t be far,” came a voice down the hall.

  I reached over and grabbed Caleb’s shirt and pulled him towards me, “You stay right here. As soon as I’m gone, you go to Law as fast as possible. Do not let them know that you’re here.”

  “I’m not letting you go over there alone,” Caleb said in a pleading tone.

  “Caleb, this person is very important to me. I need you to take care of her and make sure she’s safe. I’m not letting them hurt her anymore and I won’t let anyone hurt you. If they take me, you guys just have to come find me.”

  “Okay,” Caleb said, nodding his head quickly, but with a dazed expression.

  “And take the cat with you,” I whispered as I exited her apartment quietly.

  I walked down the hallway. My hands shook with fear, not knowing what my fate would be once I reached the doorway.

  “What are you doing in my apartment?” I asked three men, who were searching around as if I might be hiding in a cabinet.

  “That’s her,” one said, nodding to the other.

  “Be careful,” the other said.

  “There’s nothing she can do to us. It’s a Mortal Night.”

  “Maybe,” I said, casually opening the door to my closet, where I reached for a few weapons. I pulled out my 9mm knowing there were only two rounds left in it. I grabbed four throwing knives for variety.

  “I think you’d better put that gun down and come with us,” said one of the men, who displayed his firearm sideways. What an idiot. I flipped the tip of the knife into my hand, arched my wrist, and shot it across the room. It impaled the wrist of the first idiot and his weapon dropped to the ground. Another began to draw his weapon. I drew mine faster and fired a shot at his right shoulder. The third man lunged toward me without drawing his weapon. I leapt to my left and slid across the counter into the kitchen. I reached for my decrepit broom and stomped on the end till it broke in half, making it a makeshift fighting stick. The man approached me, and I swung upward, popping him across the jaw. I rolled across the counter and back into the living room with the other two men, whining over the wounds. The man came fumbling back into the living room.

&
nbsp; “You got a stick, I got this,” he said, pulling out a ten-inch blade with a grin like he had won.

  “True,” I said and transferred the stick to my right hand, “But you’re going to have to get pretty close to me to do any damage.”

  He ran towards me and I stepped back as he swung it at the air.

  “That’s pretty good,” I said.

  “You can twirl that thing all you want. It looks pretty fancy, but you’ll only be hitting air too,” he said, slightly out of breath.

  “You’re right,” I said. I got a running start and slid across the mattress on the floor. I drew my foot back and kicked as hard as I could into the side of his knee, breaking it instantaneously. He yelped out in pain and gripped his knife to draw it down on me. I gripped the stick and swung it full circle. One side hit across his face, splintering slightly and immediately drawing blood, and then the other side came around, smashing into the same spot once more, rendering him unconscious. I tossed the stick to the side. I slid from the mattress and began to back out of the apartment, listening to each man groan in pain. I drew my gun, in case any of them wished to make a second attempted.

  I heard a noise from behind me. I turned and drew my weapon upward. When my brain registered that I had it aimed right at Caro’s forehead, I hesitated. She didn’t, she sidestepped in the hall and pulled the trigger. I saw black and yellow pointed in my direction and had just enough time to turn my back. It was a clean shot, one prong in the shoulder, and one just above my hip. It made a clicking noise as the prongs shot electricity through me. My body seized, causing my finger to grip the trigger of my gun, sending a bullet through the floor. Like a bowling pin, I fell straight to the floor, face first.

  Two more men followed in behind Caro, as she stepped towards me. My God, I hated Caro sometimes. Of course, only she would be able to take me out; she knew the ins and outs of my mind better than most. She knelt down beside me, grabbing a shirt from the couch. She wiped the blood from my face, now leaking from the brim and inside of my nose due to the impact with the floor.

  “Oh, Dani, you should’ve know better,” she said.

  “Ugh, you’re such a bitch,” I replied, trying to regain function of my limbs as the two men bound my legs and feet behind my back.

  Caro grabbed the back of my neck and whispered in my ear, “Where’s your friend?”

  “Long gone,” I said with a grin.

  One of the men handed Caro a square box, she opened it and pulled out a syringe. She grabbed my arm, pulled my sleeve up, and drove the needle into my flesh, injecting a foreign substance.

  “Go to sleep,” she said, as they pulled a dark cover over my head. As I drifted out of consciousness, I couldn’t help but think this wasn’t the best idea.

  Bright light surrounded me when I woke up; it was like some sort of TV interview, all of them pointing directly at my face. I was slouched sideways in a metal chair. I knew better than to try to move my hands and feet. They were chained to the chair, of course. It reminded me of all the good times at the mental institution. As my eyes adjusted, the lights seemed less bright but still shined in my direction. I could feel Caro had missed a substantial amount of blood from my face. It was dried and I could feel it begin to crack as I moved my facial muscles. I tried to determine what type of building or enclosure I was in, but I just saw white bricks and lights, then more white bricks. I looked down at the floor. It was the most repulsive sight, white linoleum. Something felt very familiar about this place.

  I heard a collection of voices approaching and squinted my eyes to get a better view of who it could be. From beyond the light, I noticed four figures, two familiar, two unknown.

  “Let’s go ahead and turn these off,” came Franklin’s voice, as the lights shut off, but bright purple circles remained in my vision. I heard a metal chair squeak against the linoleum as it was slid across the floor. Even in my already uncomfortable state, I couldn’t help but be annoyed by the sound. “Hey, Dani, how you feeling?”

  I regained enough focus to see Franklin sitting across from me. He had on one of his expensive suits and his hair perfectly fashioned for a television appearance. Standing next to him was Caro. There was another man I recognized as one of his security guards from his house and a woman. The woman was foreign to me. She had pale skin, white hair. Though she stood on Franklin’s side, I felt a much softer energy from her.

  “I feel like I’ve been kidnapped,” I said, mildly groggy.

  “Do you know where you are?” Franklin asked.

  “Looks like a hospital.”

  “Well, look at that. You are correct. This is one of the old state hospitals. They’ve been shutting them down for years. I bought this one thinking it would be a great place to restore, but the energy in here is just terrible, so I figured it’d be better suited for doing business. I know how much you like hospitals. You should feel right at home here.”

  “Right at home,” I said, sarcastically.

  “Do you know why they started shutting down these facilities?”

  “No.”

  “Because no one cares about the mentally ill. No one wants to take care of them. No one wants their money going to house crazy people. You’re the unwanted. So they let them be homeless, let them commit crimes, let them not have access to medication. The jails and prisons will be their hospitals. Although it’s tragic, I must say I can’t tell you the difference between a jail and a hospital. Mentally flawed people don’t get better, there’s no cure for you. Most people would have you wiped off the face of this earth, so long as they didn’t have to deal with you. But not me, I took you in when you had nothing. I gave you a job; I gave you safety and protection. I did not judge you for who you were, I let you be who you were, and praised you for who you were. And how did you thank me, Danielle? By turning on me and then conspiring against me.”

  “I turned on you? You literally gave orders for Caro to take me out. You set me up to go down for the assault on the District Attorney.”

  “And why would I do that?” Franklin asked.

  “Because you used me.”

  “You think I don’t know what you were up to? Saying that you’re loyal to me but I keep seeing you hanging around that boy from Law’s crew. What’s his name?”

  “Caleb,” Caro interjected.

  “Yes, Caleb. And what do you know, that night he just happened to show up and save your ass. Do you think I’m stupid? Do you think I haven’t been watching every step you’ve been making when you were here and since you left? Do you think those people are your friends? Do you honestly think they’ll come looking for you?”

  “Yes.” He reached for my waist and ripped Law’s beeper from my waistband. He waved it in front of my face, tossed it to the ground, and proceeded to smash it repeatedly with his foot.

  “They aren’t going to. They don’t care about you. They’ll get word of what you’ve done, and they won’t be surprised, they’ll be relieved.”

  “What I’ve done?”

  “Yes, of course. See, I don’t kill people. That’s messy. I don’t want a drop of that filth on this suit,” he said, wiping away invisible debris from his chest, “I break people, Danielle.”

  “I hate to disappoint you, Franklin,” I said, raising my chin and grinning at him, “but I’ve been broken before, a million times over, but I’m still standing.” I cast a glance at Caro, who quickly averted her eyes.

  Franklin grinned at me, “We’ll see. By the time I’m done with you, you’ll be begging me to be the one to put a bullet in that brain of yours. I’m going to show you who you really are. You think your worst days are behind you? You think that you’ve changed and now you’re going to make the world a better place? You’re wrong. I’d like you to meet Katia.”

  The pale girl with white hair stepped forward and bowed slightly, “Hello.”

  I nodded in her direction.

  “She was your replacement. She’s been with me a while, but I h
ave only been recently informed of the depth of her skills. I must say, I love her flaw. I’ve never seen anything like it. The prophecy girl. She can look into your past as far back as conception and see all the way into your future to your death. She can uncover the worst day of your life, even if it hasn’t happened yet. Would you like to see yours?”

  “I already know the worst day of my life.”

  “You only think you know,” Franklin said. “Surely you can’t deny that you’re a plague to this word. You bring nothing but darkness, death, and destruction.”

  “What do you bring?”

  “I bring order, second chances, I bring the truth. I promise you, Danielle, nothing I show you will be fabricated. I just want to open your eyes and do you a favor. Now, I get that you want to change and you want to help or save people. I’m just trying to tell you that the best thing you can do for this world is cease to exist in it.” A beeping noise began to sound and Franklin looked at his watch, “It’s time.”

  Franklin’s male bodyguard, who had been standing behind him, now stepped forward and handed him a box similar to the one Caro had used to sedate me.

  “Flawed people are so extraordinary; within their flaws lay other flaws. Katia can walk the hallways of the minds of anyone, but this,” Franklin said, opening the box, “This is perhaps her most brilliant gift of all, her blood. Do you know what this does?”

  “Something extraordinary?” I asked.

  “Oh, you have no idea. Tell me, Danielle, what do you think is the most terrifying place on this planet?”

  “Besides being in this hospital with you? I’m not really sure,” I said, becoming slightly uneasy.

  “Oh, come on, think more abstract. Where is the place that you attempt to evade? Where is the last place you want to be, where you fight your most painstaking battles? Where is the place without refuge? Where is the place that seeks to destroy you, no matter how hard you try to be better? Where does you greatest enemy truly reside?”

  As he asked these questions, fear began to pulse through me. I attempted to tell myself that it was impossible; I tried to quell the terror attempting to envelop me, to tell myself that I had nothing to fear in this place he spoke of. As these thoughts sifted in and out of my mind, I felt my hand begin to shake.