A Fistful of Love: A Domestic Violence Anthology

by Thomas, Dominique

  “This is not over. Until death do us apart,” I mouthed out to Aimee, making sure she read every word that dripped from my lips.

  The bailiff roughly shoved me into my cage and locked the door behind me. Walking over to the cot that was supposed to be my bed, I grabbed a pencil and note pad. Since I couldn’t get into Aimee’s head in person, I planned on doing it with the four-page letter I was writing her.

  Dear Aimee (the only person my heart beats for)……

  Fatal Attraction: The Love I Once Remembered

  Prologue

  “Sweetie, can you please speak up? Just relax, everything is going to be okay. Do you hear me, honey? I promise.” The frantic 911 operator said. She spoke with uncertainty in her voice in order to gain control over the situation.

  “NO, MY MOM SHHHEEEEESSSS… PLEASE, COME HELP HER.” 6-year-old, Jasmine, yelled into the phone. She watched her younger cousins, crying over her mother’s body.

  Diamond’s body laid on her living room floor covered in her blood. Her bright yellow sundress now has a red tie dye look to it. The wooden floor is now halfway filled with a puddle of blood.

  “Sweetie, please. I need you to do me a little favor to help mommy until paramedic’s get there. Can you do that for me please?”

  Jasmine responded with an, “Umhmm.”

  “Check your mommy’s wrist. Put your pointer and middle finger on the inside, and tell me if she has a jumping bug feeling.” The 911 operator instructed.

  “Oh my God, yeah, she has a jumping bug,” Jasmine said with excitement.

  Right before the operator could respond to Jasmines excitement, the paramedics came busting through the door. Quickly responding to the matter at hand, everyone surrounded her giving her treatment.

  “Ma’am, what is your name?” one of the paramedic question, to gain her attention.

  “DDDiiiiaamoond,” she whispered. He voice was filled with hurt and pain.

  “Who did this to you, Diamond?” The paramedic asked, standing along the moving stretcher as they wheeled her body outside.

  Before she responded to the question asked, she took a moment, closing her eyes.

  “My husband,” she finally answered.

  Everyone on site glanced at each other, and then back at the house. The looks on their faces said it all. Where is the husband?

  “Why did he do it?” the female paramedic asked. She took ahold of her hand as they enter the ambulance.

  “I filed for a divorce.” She said right before closing her eyes and loosening the grip she had on the paramedic’s hand.

  The door to the paramedics slammed, leaving the children hysterically crying with the police. The ambulance fled the scene to Jersey City Medical Center. The EMT driver called dispatch.

  “African American female, shot approximately eight times. Female is now unresponsive.”

  CHAPTER ONE

  Where it all started.

  “Diamond, would you like to share your little love note with the class?” Ms. Bell said in her high-pitched voice. She adjusted her glasses.

  My eyes were glued to the unfolded paper that Sandra handed to me from behind. I looked up at Ms. Bell, to find the whole class staring at me, waiting for me to respond to her. My palms began to sweat, and my throat became so dry. I stood up in front of the class.

  “No, No, No, Diamond, stand here.” she said sitting at her desk. She pointed in front of the chalk broad.

  So she really wants me to put on a show for the class. When I tell you Ms. Bell is petty, she really is. The thing is, she’s only like this with me. Sometimes it seems like she wishes she could be me. I thought to myself as I walked past everyone’s desk to get to the front of the class.

  As soon as I got in front of the class, I grew the biggest smile. The smile a women should only have on her wedding day. I gave all my attention to the guy of my dreams. Tranquel is the lead quarter back for our high school’s football team. The only senior at our high school to have recruits come watch him play, and tonight is the night he gets to show off his talent. I was the lead cheerleader, but I was only a junior, so it didn’t make any sense for a senior to have any dealings with me. I cleared my throat, took a deep breath and read:

  “Diamond, I wouldn’t want to have it any other way. Since the first day of the jump start freshmen program, I couldn’t take my eyes off you. I even had my mother change my classes so I can grow closer to you. I know you’re younger than me, but you’re more than my best friend now. We share a bond. I want to be your first everything. With that being said can I take you to your junior prom????”

  When I read it to myself his words didn’t affect me how it did just now. I folded the letter back up and place it in my sheer, orange and black cheerleader uniform. When I look up my watery eyes shed a tear. The class filled with wide eyes and open mouth. Ms. Bell even had a stare as if she wanted to ask:

  Without making my reply in front of the class I slowly walk back to my desk. The room filled with cheer. In the corner of my eye, I saw Tranquel blushing, smiling, showing off his one dimple on the left side of his cheek. Just as I took my seat, the bell rang. The whole class stood up yelling,

  “GAME TIME BABY. LET’S BUST LINCOLN’S ASS.”

  Tonight had to be the toughest night ever for Synder High School. Lincoln High School really brought their A game. Sticking neck and neck with us. Every time I turned around from the audience to check on Tranquel, his face had rage written all over it. The game stayed tied; things didn’t look good for us.

  The referee called for half time, right before we had to cheer for the crowd, I search for Tranquel. I spotted him sitting on the bench, pouring water over his fine grade of jet black hair. I ran behind him without him knowing. I quickly placed my hands over his eyes.

  “You have to win this game, Tran. Don’t you want us to be prom queen and king?”

  He turned around quickly, lifting me from the grass.

  “Does this mean yeah? You’ll come with me to prom?”

  I nodded my head up and down, biting on my button lip. He placed a sloppy kiss on my forehead, bringing my feet back on the surface. He pointed to the cheer stands, and my coach began walking our way. I decided to walk her way, but before I did I pick up his helmet leaving a kiss for good luck.

  At 10 o’clock on the dot, all you could hear from the stands was yelling, screaming, and cheering as the crowd made their way to the field. Yeah, that’s right, Henry Snyder High School did it again, winning by 1 point.

  The whole cheerleading team chanted as we huddled over each other. Our circle opened. Right before I could turn around, I was swept off my feet. My smooth, cinnamon complexion shined bright, with a hint of red from me blushing. Tranquel carried me to the middle of the football team. The band made a circle around us, playing ‘Wifey’ by Jagged Edge. Instead of wifey, Tranquel replace the word with girlfriend. I couldn’t believe what was happening right in front of my eyes.

  My smile grew so fast. All 32 of my teeth were on display. I placed my hand over my mouth trying to cover my revealing mouth. Tranquel grabbed both of my hands and held them.

  “I don’t want to be your best-friend anymore. I want to have you by my side every step of the way. I want to take you away from the nightmares. Will you be my girlfriend?”

  Everyone got quiet. I swear I wanted someone to pinch me. How in the hell did the whole outside, football field get quite.

  I looked up at him and shook my head yes. He slide a small, gold promise ring, with one diamond in it on my chubby finger. See, I’m not like all the other cheerleaders. I’m thick to the bone, with a small waist. People call my family big boned, but we call it thick in all the right places. Big boobs, thick thighs, and big, juicy, peach-shaped ass. All these features complimented my cute, pigeon-toed walk. I stood at a measly 5’4. Best believe, I stayed with my hair right, thanks to my little sister. She learned how to do hair since our mother didn’t give two fucks about how we looked.

  Teachers, principals
, and parents from each school clapped as we made our way to the parking lot. We passed the school entry broad, where our announcements are placed, the time displayed showed 11pm. My heart began to raise. I gave a tug to Tranquel’s football jersey. He lean down, bringing his ear close to my mouth, so he would be able to hear me. I unlock our hands, to use my hand as a whispering tool.

  “It’s that time, you know she gets home at 11:30 at night. Please can you find me a ride?” I know he saw the worry in my eyes, not to mention my voice had a tremble to it.

  “Ayo, throw me my keys,” he yelled to one of his stunt dummies. The boy did as he was told.

  Tranquel press the panic button on his key pad to find his car. Walking to the loud crying car alarm, we hopped in, and were on our way. We headed towards the three bedroom apartment where, my mother, her boyfriend, my 3 younger siblings, and I reside.

  Living in Jersey City, New Jersey isn’t so bad. I mean everywhere you go has issues. Killing, gangs, drugs, everything under the sun, moon and stars. Thank God I’m not the type to run the streets and hang outside. I know what I want in my future. Most of my friends say I want to live the fake All-American dream. A great husband, over the top dream job, a house with a white picket fence and children to match us, that doesn’t exist anymore.

  Tranquel approached my block and parked 3 blocks from my house. Yeah, it’s real. See, my mother is against the whole cheerleading thing. She would die if she knew I’m running for captain, my senior year. She said it won’t get me anywhere in life. But I disagree, I have a life plan. I’m getting a full scholarship for college with cheering. I’m going to study Psychology. Cheerleading is just to pay my way, in the white man’s world, but my study is going to get me my career.

  My mother is against anything happy when it comes to me. I tried to get her to meet Tranquel, but she instantly grew an attitude. She said all niggas are the same, and all he wants to do is have his cake and eat it too, whatever that means. Since that day, I’ve never let Tranquel pick me up or drop me off anywhere near my house.

  He watched as I took off my cheerleading skirt. I made sure to wear a pair of jean shorts underneath. When I leave out of the house on game days, I’m wearing one thing. By the time I get to school, I’m wearing my cheerleading outfit. Removing a brown, sheer, tube top from my purse, I quickly switch tops trying not to let anyone see my goodies. He doesn’t have tints on his windows. Tranquel burst out into a laughter.

  “What’s so funny?” I said with a smirk on my face.

  “It just amazes me, all the trials and tribulations you have to go through, just to make everyone else happy. Regardless if she’s your mom or not. Don’t worry, babe, ‘til I can’t anymore.”

  I started laughing, slapping his hand from my chin.

  “Don’t play with me, Tran. ‘Til you can’t anymore?” I laughed, showing all my teeth in between giggles. My dimples made an appearance making my chunky face sparkle.

  He grabbed my face, and he gave me a deep, passionate, French kiss. I honestly can’t wait for my birthday to come in a couple of months. The big 18 and we have it all map out. Tranquel’s parents are the total opposite. They love me and are excited for their son.

  When his parents aren’t traveling on business trips, both of them help entertain my lies to mother. I never, not once, gave my mother a reason to treat me like this. I’m the only child she hates. I used to think it was because her and my father were madly in love, and he was taken from her. Or maybe it’s the fact that I look just like my sexy daddy. My father was many men in one. He was a hard-worker, hustler, businessman, lover, great friend, giver, and supporter. Some people called him “THEIR BIG MANZ”. He was an outstanding husband, over all he was my father.

  Late one night while getting my mother some takeout food from Checkers. My father was stopped by the police. They made him get out of his car, falsely accusing him of robbing a nearby Walgreen’s. They said he fit the description of the culprit. My father tried to take the Checkers receipt out of his pocket, but it was too late. The cops repeatedly shot my father 8 times all over his body.

  My father’s death turned my mother into an angry beast. She did a completely 180.

  “Okay, well, I should go. The beast will be home shortly.”

  Opening the car door, I stood up and paused to take a deep breath. I blew Tranquel a kiss and winked at him. He did the same, and I made my way down the block. I look put together and even happy on the outside. Inside, I’m hurting and being abused on a daily basis. As I approach my porch my body froze when I saw my mother making her way inside.

  “So, I see your hoe ass not coming inside anytime soon, huh?” My mother hissed. She roughly grabbed my forearm, forcing me into the house. All the lights were off. I’m figured my siblings were staying the night at a friend’s house.

  “Take your little whorey ass and go get my bottle of Cîroc out of the freezer. It better be on chill too. By the way, make sure this whole house is clean by the time Will gets here.” She said referring to her boyfriend. She walked up the stairs heading towards her master bedroom.

  I closed my eyes and rubbed the spot on my arm where I had been violated. I could still feel her grip on me. I brushed my feelings off, went in my room to change my clothes, and began my slave hours.

  After my father’s death, my mother became an alcoholic. She switched jobs so much, but what I could say is, she took care of my siblings and the bills. Now her choice of men is where she lost all of my respect. I could let all the mental, physical, and verbal abuse go, but that one right here. The whole ‘boyfriend switch up’ isn’t good. Not to mention they’re only 23 to 25 years old, almost my age.

  When my little brother and sister are around, you can tell my mother is happy, she’s a real mom to them.

  An hour went by, and I was almost finished cleaning. A knock at the door broke my train of thought. I recognized that it was Darren, a friend of my mother’s. I went upstairs to check and see if my mom was still awake. Standing by her door, I could see my mother was fast asleep. I closed her door, and turned my body around to walk downstairs. I heard another knock at the door.

  “I know you see me knocking on the door, Diamond.” Darren said. I slowed my pace even more.

  I’m not sure why his bright ass would fix his mouth to say that. I wished he had left. But I knew the nigga had nowhere to go. I stood in front of the door, rubbing my hands together. Looking into the middle section of the door, where a glass window sat. The tone in his voice sounded weird to me.

  “My mother sleep. She told me not to wake her up.” I said with a little attitude.

  “Aight, cool.” He replied.

  I walked away, pulling my hair back into a pony tail. I took a seat on the couch and looked around. It finally felt okay to be home. My mother needs to sleep more often. I twisted the nozzle on the lamp, next to me on the coffee table, turning the light off. I sat all the way back, relaxing my legs on the couch. Within minutes I dozed off into a much needed slumber.

  “I always said I should have been with you.” A voice whispered in my ear, interrupting my dream.

  For a slight second, I thought my dream was about to get nasty until I felt a real tickle up my legs. I jumped up out of my sleep.

  “What the fuck are you doing? How did you get in?” I tried pushing him off, but his drunken strength over-powered me. His fingers made a trail up my thighs, ending in the spot between my legs.

  “Stop!!!” I screamed.

  “Ssshhhh, if you wake your mother, who would she believe?”

  I replayed his question in my head over and over. I didn’t have an answer to that question. He grabbed both of my legs, forcing my body to slide down the couch. Now my ass was halfway off of the couch. With his free hand, he pinned my hands together above my head with a tight grip.

  He applied pressure on my inner thigh making me open my legs wide. The next couple minutes went by so fast. He spread my vagina open, giving my clit a couple of licks. Then he moved closer
to me, I noticed he already has his pants down. He rammed his penis inside me. That’s when my senses came back to me.

  “MA, MA, HELP ME PLEASE. MA, COME GET HIM OFF OF ME.” I yelled at the top of my lungs. Shit, I’m sure the neighbors even heard me.

  His thrust got rougher. I shut my eyes, allowing my tears to fall down the side of my face.

  “Damn, baby, I’m that good. A nigga got you crying and shit?” He bent down and kissed my lips, forcing his tongue into my mouth, but I bit down clenching my teeth together.

  When his tongue couldn’t caress my mouth, he pause. I opened my eyes, in enough time to see his fist crashing down on my face. I felt the worse pain in my life. A stinging, burning sensation. I let out a scream that sounded like I was in a scary movie. I couldn’t believe what was happening in my own home.

  “WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?” my mother yelled, as she flick the main light on.

  He jump off of me. As soon as I became free, I ran to my mother, wrapping my arms around her stomach. I didn’t even fix my clothes, I just wanted my mother.

  “Ma, he wouldn’t let me go. He pinned me to the couch and forced me to have sex with him.”