Lil Mama From The Projects 2: Love In The Ghetto

by Mz. Toni

  “Oh, you a bold bitch!” Cherish said with a smirk.

  “Always bold, never scared,” I said rolling my eyes.

  “I don't want you Jayda, never did. I don't want shit to do with you, and if you know what’s best for you, ya ass will stay away from my girl!”

  “Why you talking to me like this?” I asked Jason.

  “Yo, you need to go!” Mark said, trying to grab my arm.

  “Nigga, don't touch me!”’ I said yanking my arm.

  “Mega I love you, don't you understand that!” I said as tears fell from my eyes. I looked around and noticed Camille staring at me like she always did.

  “Bitch, what you staring at!” I snapped at Camille.

  “Oooooh shit, Jayden?” Camille screamed covering her mouth. I couldn't believe she actually figured out who I was. What are the chances of Cherish befriending my fucking first cousin?

  “What you mean Jayden, my name is Jayda,” I said playing it off.

  “Jayden, come on now, our mothers are sisters, you didn't think I would eventually recognize you!” Camille said shocked.

  “You don't know what you're talking about, mind ya business, damn!” I snapped. This bitch was always in somebody business, even when were younger. Like bitch know ya role, shut the fuck up and play the background.

  “You come to crash my friend’s baby shower that I planned, you got me fucked up, this is my business. You running around getting sex changes that cost an arm and a leg while ya mama can barely keep her head above water. Yeah you should have had a sex change since you being such a fucking bitch!” Camille snapped.

  “Wait, what the fuck is going on?” Cherish asked, confused.

  “Girl I knew I knew her from somewhere, this bitch is a man!” Camille screamed to Cherish.

  “Wait, so this whole time this nigga had me competing with a whole fucking nigga, this nigga fell for a fucking nigga, bitch!” Cherish screamed.

  “Wait, Jayden who?” Mega asked, even more confused.

  “She means Jayden, ya best fucking friend, nigga!” Cherish snapped.

  “Don't listen to her,” I said to Mega. I didn't need him believing this bitch. As I got closer in his space, he stared at me with confused eyes then began banging his forehead into the palm of his hand.

  “I should've seen it; I can't believe I didn't see it!” Mega said pacing the floor back and forth with his head in his palm.

  “Please don't be mad, I did what I needed to do for us,” I pleaded with Mega.

  “For who? Not us, there will never be a fucking us, you tried to kill my girl,” Mega said through gritted teeth.

  “I know that was a little off the wall, but I knew she was the only thing keeping you from loving me,” I pleaded. He need to understand that I did this for us, not to trick him, but to simply show him that under different circumstances, we could be together and I could make him so happy. The night I told Jason how I felt about him, it didn't go as I had planned. He ended up giving me an ass whooping out of this world and telling me he never wanted to see me again. I knew he had to save face because if he would of been honest about his feelings for me, Cherish would have told everyone and he would've lost all respect from the niggas in the hood. Limping out of his apartment, I hopped in my car and headed home. Deep in my thoughts, it finally hit me what I needed to do to win him over. Grabbing all the money that I had, I bought a plane ticket and took the first flight to Atlanta. Looking online, I found one of the best plastic surgeons in Atlanta and started my transformation. The doctor gave me my first of many hormone replacement therapy sessions. Shortly after completing the therapy sessions, I underwent my first surgery, which was a facial feminization surgery. Most trans women don't do this surgery, but I needed it to be as believable as possible. What’s the point in paying all this money and going through all this pain just to end up a manly woman. Next were my ass and breasts, then my voice. They do have a surgery for it, but I opted against it and just went ahead and got speech lessons to feminize my voice, kinda like training it to sound a certain way. I even got a tracheal shave, which didn't cost as must as I thought it would. This was excruciating pain, but it got rid of the bulge in my neck that most people call an Adams apple. I was in pain for months after getting all this surgery, and many times wanted to quit, but I kept my eyes on the prize and looked at the bigger picture. In the end, I would have my man all to myself. By the time I was finished with all my surgeries, I was dead broke and living in a motel. When I finally healed, I was shocked at how sexy I was and I knew the perfect way to get the money I needed was to use what I had paid so much money for. I started working at a gentlemen's club, none of them bitches liked me because I was fine as hell and I knew it. The only bitch that didn't see me as competition was Ashley. She didn't have too much of a shape, but she could shake that ass like no other, and that made her a lot of money. We instantly clicked and started fucking niggas together for the big bucks. I don't understand why every bitch wasn't out here sucking and fucking, I was raking in over ten grand a night. Shit, if I would have known being a woman was this lucrative, I would have done it a long time ago. The only problem I had with Ashley’s ass is that she had a serious addiction to sniffing coke. I didn't fuck with drugs so I told her if she wanted to roll with me, she had to get clean. I thought she got clean because she wanted to get this money, but I soon found out that she was in love with me. Stupid bitch. Hell, I loved to dive in some pussy every now and again, but if I wanted a girlfriend, I would have kept my dick. My sole goal was winning over Jason, so as soon as I saved up enough money to look the part and hold me over, I took my ass back to Jersey with Ashley on my coattail.

  “This some Jerry Springer type shit. Jason you don't see them grown man shoulders and that linebacker back,” Mama Betty said shaking her head and snapping me out of my memories.

  “Mega, I did all this for you. All this pain, I did this so you could be proud to have me on your arm!”

  “You tried to trick me, tried to have me looking real funny in these fucking streets,” Mega said in a low tone. Before I knew what was happening, Mega punched me dead in the fucking face and proceeded to pound me. As he continued to rain blow after blow to my face, all I could think about was the damage he was doing. I felt myself going in and out of consciousness and was happy as hell when I heard my best friend’s voice.

  “What the fuck, get him off of her. Y'all niggas just sitting around letting this nigga pound on a fucking female!” she snapped trying to pull him off me.

  “Female, naw boo that's a nigga named Jayden!” Camille said with a smirk.

  “Wait, what, a nigga?” Ashley said.

  “Yes a nigga, like had a dick between his fucking legs when he was born kinda nigga!”Camille snapped.

  “Mommy, you came back for me?” Jasmine said running up to Ashley. Hearing his daughter must have snapped him out of his angry rage because he stopped hitting me and looked up at Ashley.

  “So you were a part of this shit the whole time!” Mega screamed.

  “Mega?” Ashley said with a confused look.

  “Don't play stupid bitch, you don't even tell me I got a fucking kid then you leave her at my doorstep and never fucking look back!”

  “Fuck you, I tried to tell you I was pregnant but you didn't want shit to do with me!”

  “You were fucking the whole group home, fuck you mean. Had I of known it was my child I would have stepped up!”

  “Oh, like you stepped up with ya new little girlfriend. She gets a baby shower, the nice cars and I bet you wanna marry her, why couldn't I get that? Maybe if I felt like you would have married me I would have told you!”

  “Girl this man just said you were fucking everybody and they daddy and you didn't even deny it. You were running around busting it open, but you want somebody to make you their wife. You little girls got the world fucked up, ain't no man gon want a woman that done fucked half the world with ya football field pussy!” Mama Betty said.

  “Bitch mi
nd ya business and eat ya food wit ya wide ass!” Ashley screamed at her.

  “Oh, I got ya bitch!” Mama Betty said getting up. She had always been a firecracker and I always liked her, she treated us like family whenever we came around.

  “Wait, mommy? Bitch you didn't tell me you had kids!” I snapped.

  “You late as hell and you didn't tell me you used to be a nigga, so we even,” Ashley said with an attitude.

  “Where the fuck you been!” Mega said charging towards Ashley.

  “I had to go take care of myself; I ain't no good to my baby in the state I was in,” Ashley said.

  “Man, I would have taken her regardless, but for you to just drop her off and run…”

  “So you got ya fucking stalking ass thirsty bitch here, and now I find out you got ya baby mom here too crashing my fucking baby shower!” Cherish screamed.

  “Babe, I didn't know any of this was gonna happen,” Mega tried to explain.

  “I ain't come to crash shit, hell I didn't know nothing about this, I’ll just take my baby and be on my way.”

  “I don't wanna go with you, I wanna stay with Daddy and Cherish,” she said running behind Mega’s legs.

  “You ain't taking my fucking daughter, if that's what you came for, you can leave now!” Mega snapped.

  “Hell you come in here tryna take a girl that don't even wanna go with you, it’s been almost a year and we ain't heard shit from you, and we liked it that way!” Cherish snapped.

  “Bitch, you were playing mommy, but I'm the real one.”

  “Shit, I can't tell.” Camille said while Jas hid behind Mega and Cherish.

  “Man fuck her, fuck everybody, I love you!” I snapped. I hated that this was becoming less and less about me, and more about the other bullshit. I need Mega to see that I am the one that truly loves him.

  “Imma kill this nigga!” Mega said reaching for his waist, before realizing Jasmine was staring at him.

  “Get the fuck out!” Cherish screamed.

  “Calm down Cherish, don't forget you're pregnant,” Camille said walking Cherish over to some chairs. While she was walking, I noticed all the dudes beginning to circle me and Ashley, but not before Cherish screamed in pain.

  “My water broke!” she screamed before everyone rushed to her. Using this as an opportunity to get the fuck out of dodge, I grabbed Ashley’s arm and hauled ass. When we got into the car, Ashley wasted no time trying to question me, but I wasn't tryna hear that shit right now.

  “So you in love with my baby dad?” she asked as if she didn't already know the answer.

  “Yes, I didn't know he was your baby dad, you didn't even tell me you had any kids.”

  “I know they can't be telling the truth, did you really use to be a man?” I asked.

  “Bitch, shut up with all the questions, damn!” I snapped. I hated to be called a man. Jayden left a long time ago when I confessed to Mega that I was in love with him back at his apartment. I thought for sure he felt the same way. Growing up in the hood, you're looked down on for being gay, they automatically think you’re a bitch, so I understood why he reacted the way he did. I changed for him, for us, so that we could live normal lives together, but here this bitch Cherish go fucking it up once again.

  “Are you mad at me?” Ashley asked.

  “I know why I didn't tell you about my past, because I paid too much fucking money for my present, so fuck my past, but I don't understand why you wouldn't tell me that you had a whole fucking daughter. Shit, is there anything else I don't know?”

  “No, you know everything Jayda. I didn't tell you because I was ashamed. When I had Jasmine, I was young, shit I'm only twenty-two and she’s almost ten years old. My uncle was raping me every day, and when social services found out from my neighbor, they took me away and sent me to a group home, that’s how I met Jason. He was in love with me, but all I wanted was to fuck as many men as I could. I felt wanted and loved, as crazy as that may seem. One day he caught me fucking the group home manager in the closet; he was heartbroken and wanted nothing to do with me. Shortly after, he left the group home and a few days after, I found out I was pregnant. I could have found him, but I honestly didn't think he was the father. I blamed it on the group home manager, he was older, so I assumed he had money, but I was wrong. He moved me into his roach infested apartment that he shared with his cousin. I wasn't even mad, shit, what he gave me was more than my own mama ever gave me. He was really nice to me until I had Jasmine, she didn't look anything like him and shit went downhill from there. He had me tricking and introduced me to coke. I never wanted to have Jasmine, but didn't have money for an abortion, and nobody believed they were the dad except that nigga and he told me I wasn't killing his baby. I started leaving her at home by herself, not feeding her, shit, I was a child myself, I wanted to have fun and do shit. The only thing important to me was tricking, partying and getting high. One morning after a night of partying, I came home to find him molesting my baby. I may have been a junky, and maybe I never did right by her, but I refused to let her go through the same shit I went through, so I found his address and dropped her off. I didn't get out the car, didn't even write a letter, I told her the apartment number and pulled off. After a few days of tricking, one of my girls told me she was moving to Atl, said that was where the money was. I didn't have shit for me here, so I went with her.

  “Damn, you just dropped ya baby off with the nigga, you really ain't shit,” I said with a smirk.

  “So after everything I just told you, that’s all you took from it?”

  “Yup,” I said shrugging. I didn't give a shit and I didn't have time to be throwing no pity party for the next bitch.

  “I'm tired of you treating me like shit!”

  “I treat you how you treat ya self bitch, so miss me with that shit!”

  “Whatever, so what’s the plan?” she asked.

  “I don't even know if I can trust you anymore.”

  “For real, after everything we done been through you want to question my loyalty!”

  “Bitch get out your feelings, I don't trust nobody. But after finding out who you are, I definitely don't trust you!”

  “I can't believe you would say that to me.”

  “So you really expect me to believe that I just ran into your ass at the club, of all the states, of all the clubs,” I said shaking my head.

  “I am fucking loyal to you, I love you. Do you know how hard it's been to see the person I love fight so hard to get the next.”

  “If you really love me, prove it!”

  “Just tell me what you need me to do.”

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  (Cherish)

  “Don't fucking say shit to me!” I said putting my hand up for Mega to shut the fuck up.

  “Jason, please go sit over there, she doesn't want you near her,” Mama Betty said shaking her head.

  “Come on so we can get you into the car.”

  “Imma follow y'all!” I heard Mega scream.

  “Nigga you best stay where the fuck you at, I don't wanna see your fucking face!” I said holding my stomach in pain while bending over when another contraction came.

  “Are you sure you don't want him there?” Camille asked.

  “I'm positive, this nigga might fuck around and have them bitches in the delivery room fighting, I ain't got time for the drama that comes with Mega, not right now!” I snapped.

  “I swear of all the baby showers I done been too, I ain't never seen no shit like this. You got trannies, baby mama’s fighting, this better than a book,” Mama Betty said shaking her head.

  “Please, just help me get her into the car,” Camille said rolling her eyes.

  “Chile you go head and roll them eyes at me again imma knock them bitches out!” Mama Betty snapped, causing me to burst out laughing.

  “I can't believe this shit; I can't catch a break at all,” I said as Camille drove me to the hospital.

  “Yeah, that was some bullshit.”

&nb
sp; “So how do you know Jayden?”

  “That's my cousin.”

  “What?”

  “Yeah, girl. We were tight as hell when I was younger, but something happened and my aunt sent him with his dad. I saw him a couple times when we were in high school, but not much. He got my auntie eyes, which is how I finally figured out who he was.”

  “I can't get over this shit, the drama is like never ending and I'm so tired of it,” I said as she pulled up to the hospital.

  “Come on boo,” Camille said helping me out of the car and into the hospital.

  “Thank you,” I said sincerely.

  “You know I got you. Can somebody please help my friend, her water broke!” she screamed loud as hell. Before I knew it, a nurse was sitting me in a wheelchair and pushing me into labor and delivery. Laying me on the bed, a nurse came in and gave me an ultrasound. I felt so disgusting as the amniotic fluid continued to pour out of me.