Lil Mama From The Projects 2: Love In The Ghetto

by Mz. Toni

  “I'm going to see how many centimeters dilated you are, it may feel a bit uncomfortable, but it shouldn't hurt.”

  “Is all this fluid normal?” I asked the nurse.

  “Yes, it’s normal, some women have more than others,” she said before sticking her fingers in me, causing me to jump a little.

  “Wow, you are six centimeters dilated, ninety percent effaced,” she said.

  “What does that mean?”

  “Means you almost about to deliver girl,” Camille said hyped.

  “Yeah, and the contractions should get much stronger,” the nurse said.

  “Stronger then this?”

  “Yes, did you want an epidural?”

  “No, I have my care plan in my purse,” I said motioning for Camille to hand me my purse. After two hours of contractions, I was in excruciating pain.

  “You ok boo?”

  “No bitch I ain't ok, I changed my mind, I can't do this!”

  “It’s too late to be changing your mind, they coming with or without you.”

  “Well I want Mega; I need him, gimmie my phone!” I snapped.

  “Calm down, Cherish,” she said handing me my phone. Dialing Mega’s number, I listened as it rang and prayed that he answered. While waiting for him to answer, another contraction hit me so hard I screamed out in pain.

  “Lil mama!” I heard Mega scream worried.

  “I hate you so much right now, but I need you, please come!” I said crying.

  “I’ll be up there in a minute,” he said hanging up on me. As soon as he walked in and saw me, he rushed to my side. I could tell he was still a little stand offish, but I didn't care as long as he was here.

  “Your care plan states that you wanted water births.”

  “No I don't want to do that anymore,” I said as Mega squeezed my hand gently. I couldn't explain my feelings, it’s like as mad as I was at him for being the cause of all this drama on a day that was supposed to be for us to celebrate our babies, I couldn't imagine going through this with anyone but him. Not Camille, not Mama Betty not anyone but him. He gave me strength when I felt like I had none, confidence and security. Just being around him made me feel like I could do anything.

  “How you feel?”

  “I feel fine; I'm just ready to see my babies,” I said smiling. I went from feeling relaxed to feeling nothing but pain.

  “I feel like I have to shit.”

  “Oh shit, that means the babies are coming!” Camille said smiling.

  “Go get the nurse!”

  “Mega, I swear I hate you for doing this to me!” I screamed while squeezing his hand.

  “Come on, it’s almost over,” he said rubbing my back.

  “I don't hate you I love you, I'm sorry. Oh my God, it hurts, Mega help me,” I screamed before placing my legs in the stirrups myself and giving into the urge to push.

  “Cherish are you pushing? I don't think you supposed to be pushing without the doctor!” he said with a scared voice.

  “I can't fucking help it, my body is telling me to push, so that’s what I'm doing. You better get to the bottom of this fucking bed and catch my babies!” I snapped at him.

  “You ok? What the fuck, somebody get the nurse damn, it's blood on the bed,” Mega screamed. I didn't know what was happening, I felt Mega holding my hand while wiping my sweat with a cold rag, while I continued to push. By the time the doctors and Camille came in, Mega had my baby girl in his arms and for a moment, the pain went away.

  “Oh my God, Cherish, she’s beautiful!” Camille cooed. After Mega cut the cord and the nurses took the baby to clean her off, they gave her to me and I couldn't help but kiss her beautiful face. She had my chocolate skin and Mega’s beautiful almond shaped eyes. Enjoying my baby girl didn't last long because shortly after, another burst of pain hit me hard.

  “Fuckkkkk please take her, oh my God it hurts!” I screamed. I pushed twice and out came my baby boy at 5 lbs 6 oz. He looked like I played no parts in making him, he was Jason’s twin. He was so handsome; both of my babies were beautiful. I was so tired I could feel myself drifting off to sleep; having these babies took a toll on me.

  “Why she look like that?” I heard Mega ask.

  “She’s hemorrhaging, I need you two to leave the room!” the doctor screamed.

  “No I ain't leavin shit!” Camille snapped.

  “I promise I will do my best, but you guys really need to leave so I can work,” he said. I couldn't feel and hear Mega anymore after that. When I woke up, I was in a different room and I didn't see my babies, I instantly began to panic. Were they ok, did something happen? Hitting my call button over and over, I waited for someone to come into my room.

  “Oh you're up, how are you feeling?”

  “I'm feeling ok, but where are my babies?”

  “They're fine; you were sleep so we took them to the nursery.”

  “Where is Jason?” I asked.

  “He’s in the nursery with them, along with your sister,” she said. Before I could ask any more questions, Jason and Camille walked into my room all smiles.

  “I will be back, I'm going to go bring the babies down,” the nurse said before leaving.

  “They are beautiful Cherish!” Camille said.

  “Yeah, they look like they daddy!” Mega boasted. The whole time we were in the hospital, he hadn't said much of anything to me if it didn't concern the babies, and that scared me. Maybe I took shit too far; maybe I shouldn't have ended things. I don't know what I should've done, but I knew I loved him and I couldn't handle not being with him or him not loving me anymore. As he sat in the chair feeding Jaleesa, I fed Jason Jr. and for a moment, our eyes connected and I thought I saw a glimpse of love, but it didn't last long before his attention was back on our beautiful Jaleesa.

  Chapter Thirty

  (Mega)

  Things with me and Cherish haven't been going good. I see my kids everyday and I hired a nanny so she could get a break. I asked her if she wanted to come back home so it would be easier to co-parent, and she turned me down. She’s been home for over a month and the babies are doing really good. Sometimes I want to just say fuck the games and just tell her ass to come home so we can work things out, but she needs to grow and mature more before I can do that. She got so mad at me for them ruining her baby shower, but in all honesty, I can't control them bitches and she should know I would never intentionally hurt her. I been fucking with Kaliah, it ain't nothing serious, she cool as shit and we just friends who occasionally get high and fuck the shit out of each other. She ain't on that crazy stalker shit at all and promised that she knew what it was.

  “What’s up, how’s fatherhood treating you?” Mark asked, walking into my crib. He stopped by to cop some weed. Yeah I had money, but the hustler in me wouldn't let that old habit die.

  “Shit is great, I love all my babies,” I said with a smile.

  “How you and Cherish?”

  “We don't really talk much, but we been co-parenting. Imma talk to her tonight and see if we can get some kind of understanding.”

  “Yeah you gotta be cool with ya kids’ mom, that shit makes life a lot easier.”

  “You right about that. I see them every day and she has never tried to stop me from seeing them, but when I'm around, it's a lot of tension and I don't like that shit.”

  “What’s up with you and that Kaliah chick? Y'all been spending a lot of time together.”

  “Man, she cool as shit and she knows what she wants.”

  “So, you feeling ole girl?”

  “Like I said she cool, but I don't like her on that level.”

  “Come on now, you fucking that girl.”

  “A few times, but not really,” I said laughing. Giving him his weed, we talked a little while longer.

  “Be careful, shit can get real crazy real fast with these females,” he said before getting up to leave.

  “Naw, Kaliah cool, trust me,” I said before closing the door. Sitting down, I guess we spoke
her up because she was now calling my phone.

  “What’s up K?”

  “Shit, I was about to go to Cherish’s house and see the twins,” she said.

  “What made you do that?”

  “She called and invited me; I couldn't be rude and be like naw.”

  “Oh aight, I'm bout to head over there too,” I said before hanging up. I didn't like this shit, wasn't no reason in the world for them to be hanging out, but what could I say. I trusted Kaliah enough to believe that she wouldn't do shit to jeopardize my relationship with Cherish. Together or not, if she found out I was dealing with Kaliah in any way, all hell would break loose. Hopping in my car, I headed over to Cherish’s house. When I parked, I was met by Kaliah who was walking up to Cherish’s door.

  “You coming over tonight?” she asked.

  “I don't know, I got Jas.”

  “You can bring her,” she said.

  “I’ll let you know,” I said before knocking on Cherish’s door. When she opened it, the first thing she did was hug Kaliah.

  “Hey Jason, the kids are in their bouncers,” she said nonchalantly. Walking into the kids’ room, I scooped Jason Jr. first, then Jaleesa, out of their bouncers and took them into the living room.

  “So what’s been up? I’d been meaning to call you after I got out the hospital, but the twins keep me busy,” Cherish said talking to Kaliah.

  “Oh, girl it’s cool, did you get the gifts I sent?”

  “Yeah, I love the little Polo outfit you got for them, they wore it yesterday,” she said before pulling out her phone and showing Kaliah pictures.

  “They are so cute,” Kaliah gushed.

  “You want to hold Jaleesa?” Cherish asked.

  “Oh no, I might get the baby bug,” Kaliah said laughing.

  “Girl please,” Cherish said with a laugh before taking Jaleesa from me and handing her to Kaliah. As she held the baby, she looked a little nervous like she knew she had no business holding the daughter of the woman whose kids’ father she was fucking, but Cherish was persistent as hell.

  “She looks so much like both of you!” Kaliah gushed.

  “So I was thinking about having a dinner, one I could invite everyone to to officially see the babies,” she said with a smile.

  “You don't think they're still too young to have all these people all over them, picking them up, touching all on their faces.”

  “It’s only close friends Jason, ain't like I got many people I can show them off too,” she said, rolling her eyes.

  “Can you come in the room with me so we can talk?” I said before placing Jason Jr. into his swing.”

  “Yeah I guess, Kaliah can you watch them?” she replied before following me into the room.

  “So how’s therapy going?”

  “It’s going good, things are really good. I signed up for school the other day, I know I said no nannies, but thank you for hiring her.”

  “Wow, that’s good lil mama, and no problem, I just want for you to be able to do most of the things you want, you know still have a life.”

  “So what did you want to talk about?”

  “I wanted to talk about us, we ain't together right now, but I miss our friendship. I don't want to argue or have things awkward with us.”

  “I agree, maybe we can start hanging out and focus on being friends while co-parenting.”

  “I would like that, so are you free tomorrow night?” I asked.

  “Damn, I didn't think you would ask so soon,” she said with an awkward laugh.

  “The sooner the better.”

  “Aight, I’ll call the nanny, does tomorrow at eight work for you?”

  “That’s cool,” I said before hugging her. It wasn't one of those I love you hugs, just a friendly one, and I was cool with that. When we walked back into the living room, Kaliah had put Jaleesa to sleep. We all talked for a little bit before I felt like I was ready to go.

  “Well imma head out,” I said.

  “I'm right behind you,” Kaliah said. When we got outside, she voiced how uncomfortable she felt holding my baby.

  “Man, this shit fucking with me. You know I think you cool, but maybe we should fall back.”

  “I understand, but me and Cherish ain't together.”

  “But she doesn't know about us and it doesn't feel right,” she said, shaking her head and walking away. When I got home, I thought about everything that Kaliah said, and she was right. The last thing I wanted to do was hurt either of them, so maybe I needed to take a break from her until I figured this shit out between me and Cherish. The next day, I was both nervous and excited, tonight was the night that I took Cherish out on a date so we could discuss what was going on with us. After getting showered and dressed, I was ready to go pick up lil mama. When I got to her house, the nanny had already put the kids down for their nap. Walking quietly into their room, I kissed both of them before heading back into the living room. When Cherish walked out, I would be lying if I said those babies didn't make her badder than she already was, she looked more mature, and her body was bad as hell. Her breasts were bigger, and her ass was looking real right.

  “Are we gonna leave, or are you just gonna stare at me?” she asked with a smirk.

  “We leaving smart ass, come on,” I said. When we got to the restaurant, it felt a little weird because we haven't done anything like this in a while.

  “So what’s been going on with you?” she asked.

  “Shit, between the kids and the label, I'm busy as hell,” I said.

  “So you're not dating anyone?” she asked.

  “I’ve been seeing someone.”

  “Wow, ok well congrats,” she said not really meaning it.

  “What about you?”

  “I got the nanny, but a man is the last thing on my mind, I'm tryna live life.”

  “I feel you, so do you think we can be cordial?”

  “We have been cordial Jason, naw we don't hang out, but at least we don't argue when we do see each other.”

  “I guess, but I want us to be friends”

  “So you don't see us ever getting back together?”

  “Lil mama you got some growing up to do, I can't answer that question.”

  “I was grown enough for you to fuck with, grown enough to have your babies, I was grown enough to do all those things, but now I'm not. I don't understand that, but I can't be mad at how you feel so ok,” she said rolling her eyes. We ate and talked for the remainder of the night before I dropped her off back home.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  (Cherish)

  Dinner with Jason didn't really go as I had planned, but I was glad I did it, it showed me that I really needed to move on. Don't get me wrong, I didn't want to; I loved him with every part of me. I saw him as my hero, my saving grace, my everything, but I refused to sit around while he lived life and stayed stuck on him. Maybe I did have some growing to do, but shit I was seventeen fucking years old and he knew that before we got together. Today was the day of my get together, nothing extravagant, I just invited, Camille, Shana, Queesha, Kaliah, Chris, Kasan, Terrence and Mark. I called Mama Betty and tried to invite her, but she laughed in my ear and said bring her baby to see her tomorrow. That woman was a trip, but I loved her to the end. As I stood in the kitchen cooking, I heard the front door open. It had to be none other than Camille since she was the only one with a key.

  “Hey boo,” she said when she walked into the kitchen.

  “Hey, thanks for coming.”

  “What you need me to do?” she asked.

  “You can set the table.”

  “Girl, I can help you cook.”

  “No, I got it.”

  “Aight then,” she said before walking out. I wish I would have her cook at something I was having and be the talk of the crew, naw I was good. When I was done cooking and everything was set up, people started coming. The first people to come were of course Camille and Mark since Camille had come to help. When everyone came they went straight for
the babies, Queesha even cried. I felt so bad for her. I heard that she really wanted to give Chris children, but with her being HIV positive, it made it scary.