Holding on to Someday

by K. Leah

  “Yes,” Brady answered, looking at me carefully holding the picture.

  “What was her name?” I asked, running my fingers along the border of the frame.

  “Trista.”

  He approached me, took the picture from my hand, and placed it back under the pile of clothes. He pulled me to him gently and wrapped his arms around me as if to apologize I found it.

  “She was beautiful,” I tell him, feeling his hold tighten around me.

  Brady said nothing, just held me. I had no bitter feelings for him keeping the photograph tucked away in his dresser. I know he loved her deeply and she would always be a part of his past and his memories. I want him to know I understand this is important to him.

  “Brady… I’m not upset with you. I know she will always be a part of you. I would love to know more about her.”

  “Not today, baby… just… not today. Okay?”

  The waiter arrives with dessert, snapping me back into the present. “Oh, my goodness… look at this yummy goodness!” I say as he places it in the middle of the table. “This doesn’t get you out of continuing this conversation, mister,” I say to Brady as I reach to pick up the spoon on the plate. “But first let’s take a bite of choco-lat mooo-se," I say in an exaggerated French accent.

  Mmmm… this is worth splurging a few extra calories for. Of course, my dress may bust at the seams after all the food I’ve consumed tonight. I dip the spoon into the chocolaty dessert again and offer a bite to the handsome man sitting across the table, admiring both the dish and me. Nodding his head, he confirms this is one of the best desserts we’ve ever tasted.

  “So, back to your story. Third-grade teacher,” I remind him.

  “Yes, she always wanted to be a teacher since she was a little girl. It was her main goal in life… to help kids learn. She had very creative ways of teaching, and because she was so charismatic, kids were drawn to her.”

  “How did you two meet?” I ask, taking advantage of this rare moment where he’s willing to talk freely about his first wife.

  “We met in high school actually. I had known who she was for years, but we never talked or got to know each other until college. We ended up at the same school.”

  “So out of that big school, you hooked up with someone in your hometown. What are the chances?” I say, laughing at the irony. Out of the thousands of people he could have met at college, he ended up with a girl from back home. It’s sweet.

  “I know… it’s pretty crazy,” he says. “Her roommate dated my roommate, and they decided we needed to double date one night. When Scott and I picked them up at the dorm, and I saw her, the name finally clicked.”

  “Huh… that’s cute. So, after you went on a blind double date, I guess it stuck.”

  “Yeah, from that night on, we clicked. I guess because we had so much in common, the conversation was easy, and we got along great.”

  “That’s sweet. So, after college, you moved back here?”

  “Sort of. She went to school on a teaching fellows scholarship, which meant she had to teach in North Carolina for the first four years after college. She found a job right away in Raleigh, and we lived there for the first two years until a job opened up back here in Charlotte. We both wanted to be closer to home, so we packed up and moved home.”

  After a brief pause, Brady continues. “Like I told you before, she loved kids. We knew we wanted to start a family soon, so after we settled here in Charlotte, we decided we were ready to start our own family. After a year of her trying to get pregnant and not being able to, we decided to see a doctor. That’s when they found the cancer. It had started in her ovaries, hence the reason she wasn’t getting pregnant.”

  My heart constricts at his words. All the hurt and pain of those years seem to come flooding back to him. I guess it's why he always avoided talking about her. I lean across the table and grab hold of his hands. His head is down, but I squeeze his hands, a subtle gesture to let him know I care.

  “At first we thought she was going to beat it. They did surgery, and she went through chemo and said they got it all. But a year later it was back and had spread to her lymph nodes, lungs, liver… it was everywhere. Everything went downhill after that. We tried so many different treatments, but nothing worked.”

  “Brady,” I whisper. I see a tear slip down his cheek, and I want to hold him. Comfort him. But all of this needs to be said. It’s almost as if he’s never told this story to anyone before. This side of Brady is heartbreaking. To know the burden of watching your wife… at such a young age… lose her fight and eventually lose her life. I can’t even imagine.

  “Clara… I’m not telling you all this because I want you to feel sorry for me. This all needs to be said. Should have been said a long time ago. I’ve never really told anyone this story before. Everyone I know pretty much lived through it with me, and I’ve never had to vocalize what I went through… what we went through.”

  “I’m glad you trust me enough for me to be the first. You’ve held this in for a long time.”

  A small smile creeps across his face as he says, “No kidding… I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders.”

  I reach out and wipe the tears off his face. He leans into my hand and closes his eyes.

  “I love you, Clara Willet. You have to know how much you mean to me.” He reaches up to grab my hand and pulls it into his. “I told you all of this tonight because I didn’t want anything to be left unsaid between us. I know I’ve put off this conversation for a long time, and it’s only fair you know all of me. I feel like this is the last part of me I have kept tucked away.”

  “I know. I never wanted to push you to talk about it. I knew when you were ready you would talk,” I tell him.

  “Thank you for being patient with me,” he says. “It was difficult for me after she passed. I was bitter for so many years and shut myself off from everyone. I never thought I would find love again and never had any desire to. And then one day, this cute blonde, dressed in a business suit, had an empty chair at her table and things started to change.” His charm is back because when he says that last part, the corner of his mouth turns up and one eyebrow lifts higher than the other. “And with that said, we need to be leaving now, so we don’t miss the show.”

  “Oh right… yes, this night keeps getting better!” I add.

  As Brady stands and lifts my hand to pull me up, he pulls me into a hug and whispers into my ear, “You have no idea.”

  I cut my eyes to him, and he smiles and wraps my arm around his. He leaves the waiter our payment, and we exit the restaurant, heading across the street to the theater. I’m exhausted by the time we make it into the vestibule. I haven’t walked this much in months, but I decide to suck it up and deal with it. As if he senses my fatigue, he wraps his arm around me and says, “Just a few more steps, and we’ll be sitting for a while.”

  “Okay, but I need to make a stop to the ladies room first. While I’m up I might as well take full advantage of it,” I tell him.

  I freshen my makeup and apply more lip gloss while I’m in the restroom. When I come out, Brady grabs my hand once again and guides me to our seats in the center aisle with a perfect view of the stage. I lean over to him and give him a quick kiss on the cheek.

  “What’s that for?” he asks.

  “Oh, just you being you. And a thank you for the best night ever.” I curl my arm around his and settle into my seat as the lights dim and the curtains open.

  33

  Revelations

  Two hours later, the show is over, and I’m exhausted. As much as I have enjoyed being out of the house and on the arm of the man I love, I’m ready to settle into my bed and sleep. Brady leans over and tells me he’s having the limo pick us up in front of the theater. As we exit the Blumenthal, I notice a limo idling at the curb, and I recognize the driver from earlier leaning against the passenger door. When he notices us approaching, he opens the door and Brady helps me in before sliding in next to me. I settle into him wit
h a smile as he drapes his arm across my leg.

  “So, what did you think about tonight? Good?” he asks.

  “Better than good!” I tell him, with a wide smile. “It was the most amazing night ever. The food was fantastic, the performance was brilliant, and the company was the best.”

  “Are you up for one more stop on the way home?” he asks. I sit up and look at him, wondering what in the world we could be doing this late at night.

  “There’s more?” I ask.

  He smiles, “Yes, there’s one more stop on the way. I know it’s late, and I’m sure you are probably tired from our busy evening, but I could not let this date pass by without this one final thing.”

  As tired as I am, I’m even more intrigued as to what he has up his sleeve now. I look out the window trying to determine what direction we are headed. I’m still kind of confused until we get further away from all of the uptown buildings and traffic. Then I notice we are going toward the airport. I’m silent for a moment.

  “Are we going to The Overlook?” I ask him.

  “Why do you think that?”

  Though I can’t see his expression in the dim light of the car, I can hear the smile in his voice.

  “Brady, what’s going on?” I ask again.

  “You’ll see soon enough,” and he tightens his hold on my knee.

  A few minutes later, we pull into the parking lot. Normally it’s closed this time of night, and I’m curious as to why the gate is unlocked. As I look out the tinted windows of the limo, I see flickers of light in the distance, wondering what it could be. The limo comes to a stop. Brady opens the door, and I see “our bench” decorated with strands of white lights, and rose petals scattered on the ground around it.

  My mind is barely registering the scene in front of me. As Brady steps out of the limo, he reaches back in to grab my hand. As he pulls me out of the limo, he motions to the beautiful display before us. “Clara… come sit with me.”

  Confused and speechless, I allow Brady to escort me to the bench. I take a moment to regard my surroundings - the airport, with its twinkling lights, and of course, Brady’s beautiful, smiling face. This spot was where we shared our first kiss and our first real date. Then I look at Brady, and he drops to one knee in front of me.

  Oh. My. Gosh.

  Brady reaches for my hand. “Clara…you, my love, are one of the most precious things this life has ever given me. I want you to know how much you mean to me and how much I love you. This place holds such a special meaning to me because this is where I fell in love with you. This seat, right here, where we shared our first kiss. I knew that night; my life had changed for the better. I remember watching you for so many weeks, longing just to know your name, to meet this beautiful woman who ate the same turkey croissant at the Corner Café day after day. When I finally got up the nerve to talk to you, something clicked immediately. I knew you were special. Different. The more I got to know you, the more I wanted to be around you. The more I was around you, the more I knew you were meant for me. As we grew closer, I could see all the love you had to give someone, and I hoped more and more each day that someone would be me. Then, when it was me, and I thought my heart might burst open. I didn’t know if I would ever find love again, but you helped me find it.” Brady looks at me a moment before continuing, “I want to grow old with you. I want to share a life with you. I want to spend the rest of our forever… together.”

  With his free hand, he reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a ring. As he takes it out, I catch the white lights reflecting off the diamond. Smiling, he holds the ring up to me, “Clara May Willet…Will you marry me?”

  I stare down at him through eyes filled with happy tears. I know I reciprocate everything this man just confessed to me. A huge smile breaks across my face, and all I can do is nod my head. Finally, I squeak out a “yes” to answer his question. Brady slides the ring over my finger and then takes my hand into his and places a kiss on my knuckles. He then scoops me up into his arms and twirls me around before placing me back on my feet and kissing me sweetly.

  “Clara… do you even know how happy I am right now? I think my heart is going to beat out of my chest.”

  I laugh because I feel it too. “I think I have a little clue as to how you are feeling,” I say, smiling as I hug him tightly. “Brady Reese… I love you more than words can say.” I have to pause and soak it all in. The reality of what just happened hits me and fills me with such raw emotion.

  “You have just made me so, so happy,” I say in a broken voice. “I never imagined tonight could have gotten any better than the dress, the restaurant, the theater… I mean, I was happy to be getting out of the house for a few hours.”

  He laughs and pulls me in tighter. “I wanted tonight to be special… but not just about going out on a date, I’ve been waiting for months to ask you to marry me. Waiting for just the right time and tonight seemed like it was time,” he says.

  “It so was…” I pause as I pull my hand up to look at the diamond on my left hand.

  Brady pulls his phone out of his pocket and turns on the flashlight. “Here… so you can see it a little better.”

  “Oh my gosh… Brady! It’s beautiful!” I exclaim, looking at the emerald cut diamond resting on my ring finger.

  “You like it?” he asks.

  “I love it! It’s perfect!” I kiss him again.

  With all the excitement, I must have forgotten how tired I am, because a rush of exhaustion washes over me. “Can we sit for a few minutes?” I ask Brady.

  He leads me back over to the bench and wraps his arm around me as we sit there in the twinkly lights. Linking our fingers together, we look out over the airport. A beautiful night sky stretches out before us; it’s quite spectacular.

  “You know… it’s true. That night… I fell in love here, and I knew it had to be this place where I asked you,” Brady tells me.

  “So how in the world did you pull it off?” I ask, knowing these lights didn’t magically appear here themselves.

  “Angie.”

  I should have known. No wonder she was a ball of nerves and giggles today while getting me ready. She knew all along, and that’s why Brady swore her to secrecy, and also why she was so adamant about not leaking any info. I’m really shocked she made it, though.

  “I texted her when we left the theater. She was on standby,” he added.

  “Does that mean she’s lurking in the bushes somewhere and she’s going to come running out any second?” I laugh because she would do that.

  “No, she’s not. That’s not saying she didn’t ask though.” He continues, “But she did ask for you to call her as soon as we are in the limo heading back home.”

  Of course, she did, and I can’t help but laugh as I think about her waiting impatiently by the phone. We sit and stare into the night a little while longer. I know it’s late, but the sleepiness has suddenly disappeared from me; however, my body is feeling it loud and clear. As if Brady senses it himself, he says, “As much as I want to stay here all night holding you, it’s way past your bedtime.”

  He knows me too well. I used to be a night owl, but since the accident, I love an early bedtime more and more.

  “I wish we could stay out here all night too. Just you and me. But it is getting late, and my legs are screaming from all the extra work they’ve had to do tonight.”

  “Well, then… let’s get you home, my love,” he says as he kisses my forehead.

  Back in the limo, we snuggle each other closely. I don’t want tonight to end. It’s times like these I wish he would stay the night, but we vowed from the beginning of our relationship we would not stray from our commitment to wait until we were married to sleep at each other’s home. It’s something very important to both of us.

  I take a couple of pictures with my phone of Brady and me, one of the ring, one of us with me holding up my hand to show off my ring. And of course, I have to call Angie. She squeals with delight and showers us with congratulatio
ns. I send her the pictures of us so she can see the ring and all she does is complain they are too dark and she needs to see it in person. “I’ll be at your apartment first thing tomorrow morning,” she says.

  After we pull into the parking lot in front of my apartment complex, Brady gets out and walks me to the door. He turns to the driver and says, “Give me just a few minutes.”

  “As much as I would like to walk you in, I’ve got the driver waiting for me. Right about now I’m kicking myself that he didn’t pick me up here, so I’d have my car.” Brady pulls me into his embrace.

  “It’s okay… I’m just going to bed anyway. I’m sure I’ll sleep well tonight. Lots of happy dreams to look forward to,” I tell him as I wrap my arms around his neck. His hands reach around my waist, and he pulls me closer, resting his forehead against mine.

  “So tonight, when they called us Mr. & Mrs. Reese, that’s a reality now… at least in a short while it will be,” he tells me, smiling.

  “Oh, Mr. Reese, you have no idea how much I love the sound of that - Mrs. Clara Reese,” I say with a smile. “Kinda catchy… don’t you think?” and I lean up to kiss him.

  The kiss turns into a deep, passionate kiss, and we both find ourselves getting lost in the moment. Somehow, we find the strength to pull away and Brady, with his hands cupping my face, rests his forehead against mine one last time.

  “Sweet dreams. I’ll see you in the morning.”

  One last kiss on the cheek and I release him into the night.

  “I love you, Brady.”

  ♦♦♦

  As I get undressed and ready for bed, I get a better look at my ring. I marvel again at the delicate emerald cut diamond, set in white gold with a small baguette diamond on each side of the larger stone. It’s beautiful. I’ve had a perma-grin plastered on my face all night. I stand in front of my bathroom mirror in my nightgown staring at the twinkling diamond on my left hand. I even throw in a few poses and excited facial expressions as if I were posing for a photo shoot. I bet I look silly, but I’m so happy, I couldn’t care less.